Reminiscent

Starved of love
I am left to only reminisce
I can still feel your hands on me
Roaming my body
Soft one moment
Rough the next
You never could make a decision

And now everywhere I go
You linger
As does my desire
To love the way we did again
Openly unafraid to blur the lines
Between pleasure and pain
To explore our most carnal selves

I even wake up sometimes
To your seemingly ever present smell
You’ve become inescapable
And I alone am left to chase the unattainable
Unable to be sated

And yet I still try
Allow myself and my mind to be adrift
And slowly
My hands are no longer mine, but yours
Reaching between my thighs
Stirring my slumbering arousal
Wetness coating your fingers

You are relentless
quickening your pace
Fingers sliding in and out
Fuck
I am crashing and spiralling into the sun
I feel everything and nothing
All at once

And I open my eyes to see
You and your hazy smile
You kiss my forehead
Uttering words
That have no sound
distorted
Is this what bliss is?

And as I find myself slowly
easing into my body again
I am flooded with memories of you,
You left me breathless
Brain scattered
Constantly coming down
From something I could not describe

And I was powerless to stop these feelings
I became lost in your smile
the adoration in your eyes
Everything hurt and yet I could not have been happier
You represented all that was unfamiliar
And I was fearful
Unable to trust a security I hadn’t experienced
And so I let you go
Yet I guess I never truly did
Because you still hold my heart after all this time