by demure101
What makes this poem work well for me is the clever way you use syntax such that line ending rhymes don't sound like, well, line ending rhymes. Very clever and pleasing to the ear.
GM is abs. on the money in his comment ! Your line ending rhymes are in the middle of sentences broken up to create the verse ! Wow ! Was too wrapped up in the imagery of your words to notice this other excellence ! Thnx for openin' my eyes GM !!