All Comments on 'Weekday Whimsy'

No messing about in this one. This is a great poem.

the phrasing is a little awkward, very good poem regardless. The second -- could of just went with a comma. The first pause is fine, I just think you could do something better there besides for a "there".

....erotica in a neat package. (pun intended)<p> Tess

Leave out the ellipses you don't need them to get you point across (dreadful pun unintended!)

You've done it again. You'll have to stop or else we'll all get complexes about how we don't write nearly good enough! Heh. Really great job again. Mentioned in the thread, OF COURSE. :) Thanks for sharing.

really good! The descriptions are fantastic, the poem has movement. Deserves a 5.