All Comments on '20 in 23,376'

It's Genie not Jeanie.

Great story!!!

Tiger27, thanks for the correction. It's slipped past two of us!! INKENT

A little more about what happened to the cheaters would be interesting. Did Dad actually die or did he suvive to live in a nursing home?

Infosauger, thanks for having a read. In answer to your question, that's where my imagination stops, and yours takes over :) INKENT

I just dont understand why he waited so long? He wasted so much time and money and later he sent his other wife into a emotional sinkhole several times a year. But for what? Why inflict so much pain on yourself and on other people instead of just divorcing? And even if he had to go through the plan for whatever reason he could have done it soooo much faster. I just dont get it. Even the explanation in the AN didnt help a bit. The two scenarios are so different and dont compare in any way.

Hi Thorlol, thanks for taking the time to read the story and commenting. Firstly, this is fiction, and fiction can, and will, push the envelopes of reality. If this was some form if reality, then I hope the '20 in reality' looks more like what you'd expect to see.

As to the MC and his actions, there are real people out there that look at life through a different lens to the rest of us, and with that, they can act or behave in ways that we simply won't or can't. I mentioned the early years of MC are based on a friend long since drifted from my sphere, and he was right up up there, in terms of intelligence. But he did exhibit some strange almost extreme behaviours which, when you do some research into some of the most gifted beings, wasn't uncommon to go hand-in-hand with their brilliance. INKENT

Great story. I enjoyed reading it

5stars

Asinine ending. A plethora of lawyers will eventually dig up the assets and Courts will Burn the Bastard.

You really needed an editor to catch some of the little faux pas you committed, “letting the Jeanie out of the bottle” jumps out, plus various other wrong use of words which jarred upon reading them. Apart from that an entertaining little tale.

Where to start. Well, he’s an 18 yr old boy and Debbie is the love of his life.

They’re kids. They have to raise their hsve to ask for permission to go to the washroom and you call her the love of his life? That’s not love, that’s teenage hormones and stupidity.

Then the ending.

Not only would the law courts take a very dim view of his actions, he would end up in prison, why would anyone spend 20 years in a marriage with someone they hate so much, they would ruin their lives and make them homeless?

That’s not a flex, that’s ridiculous.

That's it? 20 years of planning and we get essentially a throwaway chapter about the fallout? Meh. 2 stars for literary blue balls.

Good history!

These kinds of decade-long revenge stories make zero sense.

If he'd just divorced the barren slut immediately, she would've blown half their money on frivolous crap and ended up broke much sooner. Meanwhile, he would have spent the next two decades building assets, and still ended up very wealthy.

So he basically funded her lavish lifestyle for 20 years, while he suffered as a miserable cuck.

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Also, and I can't stress this enough, I am sick to death of stories where high value guys end up with post-wall single moms. This is not a win! It's a clueless idiot settling because he has no self-esteem. 9 times out of 10, the single mom doesn't even love the guy, and is just using him as an ATM.

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Brian was a very wealthy white guy. He could've divorced his slut wife as a much younger man, then gone to Uruguay, and found himself an 18-year-old virgin bride.

Instead of having only one child with a 35-year-old single mom, he could've had 6+ kids with a woman nearly half her age.

If the protagonist of your story is some middle-income nobody, then sure, have him settle for the single mom. But very successful business men just don't marry women like this. The term "trophy wife" exists for a very good reason.

Blah blah blah blah blah

1 star - As far as I am concerned, this story ended when the husband decided to have unprotected sex with the SLUT AFTER he found out she was cheating.

Better luck with your next story.

What a wasted life.

Hi .. great story.,.I can relate to the main character. I find it difficult to believe a hot blooded south American woman would be so compliant. 5 *

Very good story! 5/5 BRB

My issue with this story is the 20 years. That's a very long time to live through that betrayal and he had no reason to wait 20 years like your stated real-life example (financial aside, there must have been another way). hell, he could have committed murder when he first discovered the trysts and might have gotten out of prison sooner.

Your story is your story. You wanted to write a 20-year revenge story and so you did. There is no need to defend it. But I've got to say that someone who would invest that much time and energy in revenge when it could be invested in the new family is a little bit unhinged.

Seven pages of well written nothing. As soon as he had the Argentina passport and ID he could of transfered everything to that non extradition country and achieve the same results. All the 20 years for nothing.

All that build up and we get 3 lines from the sult? Confrontation is what Lw is about.

I didn't rate this one as it wouldn't have been fair I think. I have come to realize that I am a fairly harsh critic and these flights of fancy tales that are nowhere near anything that resembles real life are very much not my cup of tea. There are just SO many plot points that are beyond my ability to suspend my disbelief. Two of the most egregious are the single mother that falls in love in a matter of days and then tolerates him continuing to have sex with his wife for many years and posting all of those sex tapes to the porn sites to ruin all their lives.

I realize that the vast majority of the stories in this category are blatant cucks or rely on ridiculous levels of ignorance in the main characters but I have read plenty of really good stories that read as true to life and I find those much more interesting and entertaining to read than the drivel that relies on unbelievable plot hooks.

When I do come across these tales I will just skip the rating and move on.

Should’ve include after the blowup

20 years? One quarter of his life, arguably the BEST quarter of our lives (the 20's to 40's), and he spent it all with a cheating slut? All the while, planning and plotting, boy, he was gonna show her! So stupid. 2 stars, best I can do with this mess.

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It would have been so much better, certainly more realistic, to file the papers while overseas, the first time he saw her cheating with his brother. Once you reach your 60's, you'll be wanting that time back. He was making money hand-over-fist, his future so bright he had to wear shades, as the song goes, why didn't he just settle the bill and walk away? People like her never amount to anything; kick her to the curb and never look back. Be happy.

An extremely long build-up for an extremely disappointing end. 1 star for either laziness to properly finish the story.

You keep saying it's fiction yet you fail to finish said fiction.

Ftds and you may get more

20 years? Just way too long and not believable. Good writer but this one is just too long and is way too far out there.

Ending needed more details of the fallout of his 20 year revenge try to convey what the people felt and what the real costs were

Brilliant!

Early page 1 he seeks a job with the #2 company. This is why people don’t become wealthy. They aren’t taught to even imagine that world. He wouldn’t go looking for a job. He might license his software. He might then short the stock of the current #1 company. He might start his own company etc. But he damn sure wouldn’t go look for a JOB. A job is so you can save up money to invest in appreciating and cash flowing assets so you eventually don’t need a job.

Good story so far. Carry on.

It doesn't feel like it's ended, like what's the aftermath, you literally put how Debbie and Reggie are going to track him down, so you have set up a sequel. Nothing feels conclusive and what is Gary's problem, how is he mad and how his life was ruined. As fila4u said, ending needs more details and a sequel seems needed to conclude all of their stories.

He would have been better off just piling some evidence up, some riches and getting out of Dodge with revenge a little less complete.

Very good story. I like the Shawshank reference. He worked a long time for that revenge, but in the end he got away clean in the end.

Something about it didn't work. There were So Many Assholes, yet the stupid cuck had no clue, for years. Just another shallow tepid distant marriage, dying due to lack of attention. It was hardly a marriage to begin with, due to all the traveling. And any woman who gets board traveling to foreign exotic countries is too limited in intelligence and imagination to be a decent wife and partner. He got what he married, so he deserved what he got. Just a nasty bunch of people all around. Good riddance.

What can I say? Totally completely utterly Fucking BRILLIANT!!!!

He could

Have stripped all the assets in he first year. It spend 20 years with another man’s leftovers.

This is fiction people.

Anything can happen in a fictional story. Just like in a Disney story where animals talk.

Tiger27

It's Genie not Jeanie.

Didnt you ever watch "I Dream of Jeanie?"

Oh I really liked this, great story, I didnbother to read you explanation at the end, it's a story after all, the time frame seems odd at first, but it's what you wrote, a long story in the getting his own back.

What a flight of fancy! I enjoyed it, thanks. 5 from me.

I still don't get why he waited 20 years while being married to such a slut. And why didn't the brother get destroyed. And he really didn't get revenge on his sperm donor. I would have left the brother with two destroyed knees and balls, and also burned his father for their incredible betrayal.

Just a point, you try to spin the 20 years thing by highlighting a relationship between a mistress and a married man, yet this is not only very common but completely the wrong end of the stick. The married man was the cheater, he didn't know his wife was cheating on him and perhaps more importantly he also had children with her. Totally a case of getting apples mixed up with oranges.

The inability to have children is a real deal breaker for many men. Proven not only by the IVF/fertility industry making money hand over fist, but the stress and strain of the trying and failing being a significant factor in divorce.

However, most telling is at the beginning, when the wife takes her first fling. It would seem that she's almost certain that her husband is already having an affair, and going from his future behaviour I'm pretty sure he was. But we'll never know because the MC gets to curate the truth and only provides a one sided view. I really did enjoy the use of the 'she's a lesbian' gambit, as if any wife ever believes that nonsense.

It's also amazing how the wife is all to blame, going from a faithful wife in-love with her husband to a cheating slut in 0-60. Like it was her that made her husband absent and neglectful, and focused on the unimportant things in life. She should be relieved that at least she didn't have his kids.

Most people could have forgiven the first indiscretion, given the circumstances, but to then just turn her into a slut and give in to blackmail is just alien sex ray territory. Oh, and blackmail is rape, and while accountants are not exactly the morally upright individuals they may pretend to be, it takes a certain kind of person with an incredibly flexible approach to right and wrong to indulge in not only blackmail but the repeated rape of your son's wife. That kind of person. I suspect, would find it very hard to keep from embezzling his clients money.

But yes, I get it. In this kind of world it's only the women that succumb to the slippery slope of moral turpitude once polluted by a single indiscretion. While men, on the other hand, manage to stay straight as an arrow irrespective of the depths of depravity they dive to. Lol, someone should speak to people in prison to get a real perspective.

The MC was a complete needlessly knowing cuckold.

He could easily have extricated himself from the wife and family as soon as he first found out. If he was as intelligent as he's claimed to be he should have been able to calculate the costs incurred by supporting a wife for 20 years far outweigh the costs associated with getting a divorce. Especially considering that 20 years is the bulk of his earning capacity, and one would expect an upward trajectory during that time not only in earned income but more importantly in returns from investments ... so while he may well have been well off 20 years ago, that would have been nothing compared to his total life earnings. The hits that he would have taken to his capital and even spousal support just wouldn't have been that significant ... don't forget he's supporting her spending over the 20 years on that rising wealth trajectory.

Ironically his dad and brother both being accountants would have been able to show him exactly how stupid his decision to remain with his wife was. Guess the computer Wizkid just didn't grasp the concept of compound interest or have faith in his own earning capacity. Or maybe greed made him blind to the sunk cost fallacy.

Now he's a fugitive in a foreign land when he could have just divorced 20 years ago and been a free man with his head held high.

Or maybe he just got off on the daily humiliation of knowing his wife was having multiple affairs, and liked to get handy while repeatedly watching the highlights.