by X-Factor
not thru readin all ur stories... great writing... chestnut color toenail instead of the usual red...
i LOVE all the kissing going on. it seems so much more real and romantic. try new adjectives tho. : )
I LOVE your stories and am hooked. However, I find the constant reference to her small feet distracting since the stories are not related to a foot fetish.
Cant we see this one working street corner in a year of two after she gets totally hooked on dope.
The story should stand on its own and not judged by prior poor stories so I gave it a 5.
How has she not gotten pregnant at this point. You've never written she is on any type of birth control and every guy has come inside her?
"Bill broke the awkward silence when their eyes met and he leaned forward. She didn't move away when his lips met hers and they kissed, softly. She was unsure if she wanted to kiss him, but didn't know if she did NOT want it either. In the meantime, they were kissing."
This is utter garbage. She has zero thoughts about Randy kicking her out. Just an excuse for long drawn out sex scenes.
Rubbish. She has no emotions about being discovered and now aba done by Randy. She is reduced to a pulsing vagina in heat. Yuck.
Looks like these last two comments were by the same person - and that person was recently burned by a cheater! LOL
Uggh. She isn't a person. She is apparently a sexbot. She doesn't have any emotions about losing Randy and being tossed out. Not even anger. No sadness. Just give her more giant c$cks!! Yeah not a caricature at all.
Damn. And to think I was trying for a National Book Award with this one, and not all just writing a jerk-off piece...