All Comments on '7th Heaven Ch. 01'

Well, I love to encourage new writers into the fold, so here goes a few comments, meant to be constructive.

I generally dislike stories with an instructional prolog, most of which are unnecessary, NO warnings are required, including the ones about age 18 or fictional characters. You warn that it is not a quick read, so I looked ahead to find out it was only a single page in length and not double-digit pages, which would have put me off. You quite properly warn about the disbelief but I plowed ahead anyway although I did not like the science-fiction part.

Following that, I found your prose to be nearly perfect, zero disturbing prose. Great writing skills. Please do keep 'em coming, altho I personally will look forward to a bit more reality.

Hmmm, he allows a worthless female to tell him his cock is little when he possesses 7 plus inches? How fucked up and weak is your main character? There was no story, nothing more than an unfinished narrative, if you're gonna start a story, finish it.

And if this is the best you can do, don't bother with a part two.