A Beta Wimp Needs to Be Controlled

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I can't deny my need for submission and humiliation.
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On the outside I've seemingly got it all; I'm a happily married 42yo guy with three kids and a beautiful wife, I'm fit and reasonably attractive, at work I'm a leader and have a tonne of confidence. But I've had a secret that has been a part of me since I was a teenager and discovered my first femdom, sissy, BDSM and fetish websites.

I bought my first pair of panties when I was 15, I spoke with men online, once I was 18 and moved out of home I visited professional mistresses, was fucked with strap-ons, pissed on, humiliated - and I loved it all.

I met men and women on old school chat rooms and Yahoo messenger, webcammed with strangers, met up with a couple and served them both, licking her pussy and was handcuffed to a bed while the Master took my anal virginity. I've read so many stories on this site and rubbed my sissy clit to so many caption pics.

But I always thought it was a phase, that it would pass and it was more important to have a wife who would be a mother, to be acceptable in society, than it was to fulfil my fantasies, which were to be truly owned, caged and humiliated.

I told my wife of some of my fantasies after a few years of marriage - when I first started she thought I was going to ask for a threesome - I'm not sure if because she would have been open to that - but instead I told her about chastity. I purchased a cb6000s and gave her the key, which she held for about three weeks but finally admitted that she didn't enjoy been mean. She still lets me worship her pussy but always wants me to finish inside her, rather than deny me. As lovely as my wife is she is certainly vanilla in the bedroom. We still love each other dearly but physical intimacy has certainly decreased, mainly due to tiredness from raising three kids and no time to herself. And while sex when we had it, roughly once every six to eight weeks was good, I still couldn't deny I had a fantasy that wouldn't go away.

Which is how I found myself on a cuckold chat room with the username "denymyorgasms", describing myself as a sissy dick beta wimp needing a real man with an alpha cock to train me and take control of when I could spurt my sissy juice.

After a few randoms and false starts I finally started chatting with a younger man, a 26yo called Steve. He was single, usually preferred women but also had a thing for humiliating submissives and taking charge. We became connections and I was told to call him Master Steve, or just Master or Sir. I was hooked pretty much from this point.

We swapped dick pics, his was significantly bigger than mine, circumcised and a good girth and length. He asked to see mine soft and hard, which I took on my iPad and sent to him. Soft was barely two inches while hard I could make just over five.

I had to share pics of my sissy pussy for him, and then was made to go and shave myself completely smooth. I was already shaving my chest and legs for sport so it was easy enough to do and I felt like I could explain it to my wife if asked. I must admit I did love how it felt and how much less of a man it made me feel by been smooth.

More photos were sent to Master and occasionally he would share one in a public room, exposing me for the sissy bitch I am. This only made my sissy clit harder.

The first task that he made me do was to get a banana and some lube, cut the top nub off the banana to make sure it wasn't rough and then lube it up, lube up my boi pussy and insert it inside myself. I honestly didn't know if I could do it, I hadn't been doing much anal play at the time, but I took it slowly and was amazed to finally get the whole banana inside me, with just the other end sticking out so I could pull it out. Of course I was made to send him photos which he saved. To top it off, when he had me pull the banana out I had to peel it and eat the actual fruit, sucking on it first like a real cock.

I was no longer allowed to masturbate without his permission, if my wife wanted sex I could but that was so rare it didn't impact training much.

Over coming weeks on webcam sessions I was made to write on my body in marker pen - "sissy clit" above my dick, "whore" on my chest, "i heart dick" on my face and again photos were shared.

At times he would organise webcam sessions and invite other men and make me perform them, fucking myself on a dildo he made me buy, dancing for them, doing what any of them said.

He once made me go to a lingerie shop at a mall and ask the sales assistant to fit me for a bra and panties. It was so humiliating but the sale assistant thankfully seemed to get a laugh from it and took a photo of me in my lingerie in the change room to send to Master. It was of course also saved for future humiliation.

I ended up buying about 10 sets of bras and panties, varied styles and colors but all sexy and girly. Once he set me a task of going to a public urinal and pulling my pants down to my ankles but keeping my panties pulled up so that anyone who walked in could see them. Again, I did it, snapped some pics of myself, and then waited until two guys walked in and saw me and laughed.

I got up to 63 days of no masturbating before he finally let me come one day, while watching sissy hypno videos. My wife never knew which was a bit sad, I would have loved her to have joined in on the fun and shared secrets with my Master but I also knew it wasn't her thing. It was a real conundrum though as I did feel like I was cheating - but I needed to be controlled, I needed to be this panty wearing sissy bitch who had to ask another man permission to touch his own dick.

Over time I purchased a set of three stainless steel butt plugs from an online site, all with pink heart shaped diamonds in the base, as well as also buying a lovense hush 2 bluetooth vibrating butt plug. I bought the large size and it was quite thick and really stretched me out, but it also meant Master could control the vibrations in it remotely which was quite a turn on.

In the end the chat room we were using had technical issues and we lost touch with each other. This was about two years ago and I've since thrown out all the lingerie and toys for fears my wife or kids would find them. The one toy I haven't thrown out is the chastity cage my wife knows about and I actually put it on to write this story as I'm sure it's the only way I could get throw without rubbing myself and making a mess.

And while I may have gotten rid of most of the toys, my fantasies and desires are still there and once again I can't stop the craving for a real alpha to take charge of me and deny my orgasms - what am I to do?!

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satedandwaitingsatedandwaiting23 days ago

I'll look forward to a follow up story in a few months detailing your attempts to get your wife to be sexually selfish.

Even if it doesn't work out, we want to hear the humiliating experiences of you crawling under the blankets to eat your wife out before bed every night while your cock is locked away. Even on nights when you are tired or just not in the mood, and she's not going to be demanding the way you need, remember those of us who read your story and are insisting you be the obedient submissive little pussy licker you know you are. We want to hear about that in your next update. When your wife tries to reject you, telling you you don't have to go down on her, the humiliation of being rejected even of serving her; when she may even get irritated or upset at your petulant persistence and your whiney pleading just to be allowed to service her, use that humiliation to remind you of your place and keep you going. Take her indifference to your mouth and compare it to how much she moans and thrashes when she has that dildo in her, let alone if she were ever to have a real man's cock in her.

Hope to read about your discipline to give your wife the kind of sex life she deserves through the kind of submissive service you deserve.

Enjoy! :)

sarasissyslutsarasissyslut23 days agoAuthor

Thanks for the details reply satedandwaiting, I’ll definitely give that some thought and a go. At the same time part of me just wants to have to beg another man for permission just to be allowed to touch myself while he can do it any time. But I will keep talking with my wife.

satedandwaitingsatedandwaiting25 days ago

God, this response really got away from me. Sorry.

If the above is what you want, but you don't want to "cheat" on your wife, then you need to put in some long term work for it. So you need to reengage with your wife to get the fullness of submission you need. But she's not going to be your domme. She's just going to allow you to find the submission you need. So don't expect her to be "mean" (at least not for a LONG time). Just train her to be a little selfish. The first step is to make her ok with her cumming repeatedly and often, while you stay denied.

You tell your wife you got her a little present. You start making out, and immediately go down and start eating her out, but when she wants you to come up and slide into her, you instead pull out a nice dildo, slightly longer and thicker than you and start fucking her. You start sucking on her nipples as you beg her to cum hard for you. After she cums, you hold her in your arms, tell her you love her, reaffirm how much you care for her. She may question you about why you didn't fuck her, then you can pull back the blankets and show her the cage you're wearing. Tell her that you were feeling frisky, but really wanted to watch her cum while you were denied. She knows your kink and while she may be a bit miffed, she shouldn't be too upset. Then just ask her with a smile if she enjoyed your present and the feeling of a nice hard cock in her. She may say something like "But I would have preferred it to be you." and you can chuckle and say, "I know you well enough to recognize when you cum hard. So don't tell me you didn't enjoy that." Then just thank her for giving you what you need. Maybe moan and say something like, "God I love how strained and needy I feel right now." and reiterate your thanks. Then just say that you hope she'll let you give her the same present again soon.

It sounds like your wife is a very giving person. She sees denying you as you not letting her give you something intimate. You have to make sure she knows that by her cumming while you are denied, she *IS* giving you something - something you cherish. At the very least, tell her to try it for 6 months where you are denied while she gets all the orgasms.

Try to make it so that every few nights you are going down on her. On nights that she's tired from the day and kids, tell her you just want to make her feel good after a long day. Let her get into bed, just spread her legs a little and you slide under the blankets to gently give her some pleasure. Tell her she can do whatever she wants. If she falls asleep while you eat her, then you hope you helped start a good nights sleep for her. If she decides she wants you to give her a soft orgasm, then she can say so. If she decides she wants a good hard fucking from her dildo, you'll give her that (usually with you giving her eye contact and intimacy). If she decides that she wants one from your mouth, a hard one from the dildo, then another soft one from your mouth, you'll give her that. If she decides after 20 minutes that she doesn't want anything, then she can tell you to stop. But she should expect that you will spend at least 20 minutes or so (almost) every night going down on her. You'll just gently pleasure her until after 20 minutes she tells you to stop or she she tells you what she does want.

I know this isn't exactly what you want. But if you want a dominant man ordering your humiliating denial and degrading use, then this is the investment and the hard work to get to that. The first step is making your wife a bit sexually selfish and ok with getting orgasms while you are denied and that this is not just what you want, but that she is GIVING you this present. Frequently thank her for doing all this for you. The goal here is to get her used to demanding pleasure while knowing you're being denied and understanding that she's actually giving you something by doing so.

Also, make sure she knows that you sometimes read sexy stories online. You clearly can't jerk off and "cheat" on her. Tell her that you just enjoy getting riled up for her later that night. This is important setup for later.

Occasionally you can test how things are going. After a month or so of submissive service at night, see what happens when you *ask* if you can be allowed not to that night. She'll almost certainly say yes, but will probably ask why. Tell her something like you kind of cut your tongue on a chip and it stings and you just need a couple nights off. See how she reacts over the next couple days. See if she ends up asking you if you're going to go down on her again or just asks how your tongue is. Encourage her. Get a big smile and say "It's feeling a bit better. Has someone missed their night time service?" and see if she says yes. Show happiness if not enthusiasm that she would miss it and want it. Show pleasure that she would start expecting this, wants it, even needs it. And most importantly, show appreciation that she is willing to GIVE you the opportunity to do this.

After a few weeks of this routine, whenever you're using the dildo on her, talk to her a little. Tell her how hot it is to watch her cum. Tell her how much you love the feeling of being cramped in your cage, denied, while she is cumming hard on that fake cock. How you wish you could fuck her like she needs while still feeling packed away and denied. Ask her if she would like that right before she cums, "Would you like to give me the feeling of being restricted and denied while still giving you the fucking you need?!" and help her cum as she says yes. Later, you can introduce a strapon to fuck her. Again, stress how much you enjoy the feeling of being restricted and denied while watching her cum.

Keep talking to her when she's close to cumming on the dildo. Tell her you came across a story (since she knows you read smut sometimes) which had a task in it you hope she's willing to give you the opportunity to do. Come up with some task - maybe private, maybe public - but something that she'd likely do. Make it something that's for her only, that she will enjoy but that pushes her boundaries just a tad. If she's so vanilla, it may be as simple as finding a parking lot and eating her to orgasm in the backseat of the car. If that's too tame even for her, then find the right scale. If that's too much, then maybe just wearing a small vibrating egg when out on a date with you - tell her how much it turns you on that she's getting pleasure the whole night while you're getting restriction and denial. But make sure to always express your gratitude and appreciation for her giving you this. Remember, your job is to make her feel your gratitude at her taking pleasure while you take denial.

Eventually, you can step up these tasks. Find a nice mild femdom porn video - nothing super cruel or mean or degrading or cuckold or sissy. Just something that shows the woman getting pleasure, getting pampered, getting treated like a queen by the man. Let her watch that video while you're under the covers using your mouth on her - not watching, no judgement. Just let her enjoy it "in private". You're a sextoy.

Keep this up, pushing small online tasks every so often when she's close to cumming - and make sure that she starts to seem to enjoy them. When she seems a bit more comfortable with it, ask her if you can ask people online to give her suggestions on tasks to do and how to use you. If she's ok with it, then you can post something on reddit in the appropriate subreddit, describing your relationship, something fawning over her, expressing your gratitude that she takes pleasure while you stay denied (she will read this after all). Mention some of the other tasks that you've taken part in that she's enjoyed. Then ask for suggestions for tasks that are along those same lines. Then after a day or two, as you get in bed and start eating her out, tell her to open the tablet and it's on that page for her to read. Moan as she reads and mention she must like some of the stuff she's reading as she's getting awfully wet.

If you're able to do that, she may be receptive if you say that someone directly messaged you and gave you a task. Do the task, then another, then a third - all from this person. Congratulations, you now have a wife denying you while taking tasks from an online dom.

You have to let them know that they have to go SUPER slow and be really patient with her, but that you are willing to do anything. Let them play with that and if you're lucky, you may eventually end up with the privilege of having a dom coming over to fuck your very willing wife while you sit cramped in your cage and denied like the sissy slut you are.

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