All Comments on 'A Carpenter's Best Friend'

Short, sharp, with a real point. Good to find an enjoyable story here. People will bitch about back story of course. But he didn't need to know who, or why. She did what she did and that's all he needed to know. Haven't seen this before. Thanks

Lucky man's story!

LOL

The mark of Zorro

"the story of how I dodged a bullet when I couldn't dodge a nail", that phrase alone merits you a high score.

I know it was a scene, more than a story, but what made it good writing, beyond the competent mechanics, was that the prose carried you along his stream of consciousness effortlessly, unselfconsciously. A lot of times while reading these stories, you have time to stop and wonder either: what's the story line? or, why am I reading this? But once you start reading this story, you are in this guy's mind, experiencing his world. This was well-written enough that you knew the protagonist, and you shared his experience for these few moments. Well done.

No wife. No love. No eroticism.

it should have been called a versatility knife. My only question would be, how many stitches did he get?

I had just assumed that the utility knife would have been used to castrate the guy, but you didn’t go there.

I laughed and spit my coffee .Thanks

Not much of a story

The generic name is a ‘Stanley knife’, because ‘they’ introduced it. How true though. The essential tool for every tradesman, though I doubt Mr Stanley ever had this application in mind, and hopefully I’ll never need to resort to it myself.

Good amusing story.

Well if they ever see each other. She can say that's my pain in the ass ex.

this time no poems TK U MLJ LV NV

Well done. I wish it kept going.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

That doesn't really make any sense, since his name had to part of the police report. It's hard to imagine a logical scenario where he knows, "Her fuck buddy told a different story, and when confronted Karen gave up the truth." but at no time, ever, is the fuck buddy's name mentioned.

Someone beat me to it but I also agree with the author’s self-assessment... not much of a story

Especially if you're a carpenter and understand what this story was saying about the hammers and saws. I'd probably choose my steel shafted framing hammer as my best friend. It does SO many things besides driving nails. But a utility knife is a handy thing. And with a sharp blade, he would have done some serious damage slashing a guys ass. Enough so that the Police wouldn't have been able to laugh it off. Jail time would have been a certainty. I've seen more people hurt themselves, seriously, with a knife than with all the hammers and saws combined. The real problem with this story was that we're in the Loving Wives category. She was only a girlfriend and it cost him nothing to dump her. Wrong category Dude. If you can't get something that simple figured out, you have no chance with the story.

I do so luv a happy ending .

*****

26thNC will sing the praises for this "not much of a story" but will be his usual grouchy miserable self on a very well written story that happens to have a loving couple engaging in mutual agreed upon sharing? What. A. Complete. Loser.

Yeah, man. Nice story. Still laughing.

Albeit, very short.

You made me laugh again "that crimson red smile crossing both his cheeks" great line.

Good friends, good revenge better story than you think.

I'm the receiving supervisor for my company, and even though I don't have to I help my drivers and stockers whenever I have a minute. Everything we receive is on the heavy side and most all are tightly wrapped in plastic. I stopped carrying a utility knife years ago, now I carry the one that looks like a regular knife. They're a lot easier to use and carry but the biggest drawback is they only hold one blade at a time.

I look at my left wrist and both forearms, and the tiny scars that will be with me for the rest of my life. It was totally unexpected and I didn't know he was cutting on me until the blood was flying. I managed to secure his hand and gently persuaded him that what he'd done was not the best idea he ever had. He got his own lumps, I broke his nose and kept pounding on it until it was just a blob, and that's what it looks like now, thirty years later.

Because of this I can identify with your story more closely than most folks.

Thanks for the read.

Q

Very enjoyable with enough information to let us feel satisfaction for Karl. The only issue I see is that he claims not to know the identity of Karen’s lover yet there was a police investigation. He had to learn who was injured even if only from the police report and local new story and trust me the local news would love to have that story somewhere on page one or on the opening local TV report.

...I discovered this writer by reading his work spouse story. Now this story which was great too. I have another go to author! Another 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

As someone who uses a utility knife all the time, and flips and/or changes the Lenox Gold blades regularly to keep a sharp edge, I sort of cringed at the thought of the protagonist deliberately slicing into that asshole's butt.

Not that asshole didn't deserve it, but that's a serious load of stitches.

For the read.

Second story I have read written by this author. I like the writing. I also like the humor in a violent story. A 3* rating.

Good

Caught and punishment

wrong category girlfriends arent wives. as for the story idk felt more like a bad joke wasnt really long enough for a story.

I wouldn’t think he could walk?

I always carried one in my tool pouch for around twenty five years, the kind you use a screwdriver to take out the screw to change the blade. Then I discovered one with a little slide catch, it's a bit bigger and you can get a better grip but I still have the old one. Got a scar on my left index finger where the old one slipped cutting paneling. Sum bitch got what he deserved, bet that hurt like hell for a long time. I wonder how you'd explain that one in the ER, it's not like you sat on a thumb tack. It's amazing what one can do when the adrenalin is pumping, fight or flight. You even got a comment from Qhlm1, you now be in rarified company! Enjoyed a bunch, better to find out sooner than later. Signed: BTW

I liked the way you set it up and your clear eagerness to exact revenge on the cheating asshole and his asshole. I must admit it made me wince.

Good one!

Suck it up, tough it out, and move on? Imagine the trust issues that would follow. Not fair

That kind of betrayal for a serious young fellow learning a trade to be able to earn a living not only with himself in mind, but also for a young woman he loves enough to buy a ring for and marry would be devastating.

Sure, he dodged one bullet, but another went straight through his heart.

While in the shower someone asked about the smile scar on his ass, "Why so serious?"

5*

Great story!

That story was really a cut above. Way above the usual LW gabage.

Love all the puns

As one who seriously lacks in pun etc categories I really appreciate decent ones

Hell's bells mate that's a good one, I'm a chippie (Aus talk) and I can imagine that happening, maybe both cheeks tho, haha

With one stroke you gave a great finish to the story. He will be the butt of jokes for years to cum. Now this really was a Slash and Burn ending. Cheers.

Very cutting edge story. J_W you have a very unique and funny mind. (as I am rolling with laughter on the floor). Thanks so much for your wit.

Rereading Just-Words today starting with this neat little flash. I really like the image of slicing open the bastards ass, and the cheating girl friends total shock. Great flash.

So how is this a loving wife story?

He used his best friend to get to the bottom of things. Thanks for sharing.

There is no need to submit every single thing you write. Let it stew for a while and see if you can come with a complete tale. Not bad but average.

just the idea for this story deserves a 4 - keep writing

I would have had to pick one butt cheek or the other. Then compromise and sliced whatever was dangling below and between...

That cheeky bum got his comeuppance! I do hope you retired the blade to a place of honor…wouldn’t want to be picking my teeth with the original one ;)

Anonymous, I never thought of that! Maybe he should retire the blade and mount it behind glass, then hang it on the wall still red with blood? It would be his own private joke to enjoy whenever the mood hit him.

Nice one!

I used to own a lot of wood-working tools, still have some. Many could be used as weapons, yet I can proudly say to have never even pointed a tip or sharp edge to another person, not in anger, not while talking and gesturing, not ever. Thus I trust myself to carry a pocket knife, a small Sebenza from Chris Reeve Knifes with Mammoth-Ivory handle inlays and forged Damascus blade by Devin Thomas. I planned it to be my one knife only to be admired, but I just had to start using it. It's both utilitarian, with the quality of an industrial tool, and a partly handcrafted thing of beauty. From the last batch ever made with Mammoth-ivory by this maker, who is now stripped of his own shop in the wake of a DIVORCE. Still, I liked the story and gave 5 stars.

This opens up a whole new category of LW BTB stories: Repurposing your tool of choice to slice and dice the asshole fucking your wife. Lets see: Electric carving knife, Awl, Cordless drill, Leather punch, Hedge trimmer, Weed eater, Glue gun, the possibilities are endless. My personal choice would be a four inch brass deck screw, but I could be wrong.

At least "you" weren't married with kids. That's another hell.

@lbeacham - I cannot tell you how many times I read these stories and think "At least they don't have kids" or "At least the kids are grown." I believe a cheater really does cheat on the kids as well as the spouse.

Great! Avidfa, one of the commenters here, wrapped up my sentiments better than I could have! This is the second story of yours I've read today! I swear we seem to be cosmically connected. Yesterday I started a story about about a missing girl. The lead character is a framing carpenter! Now, can I borrow some of your tools?

It's good to get inoculated against lying cheaters while still dating. That way, you know what to look for, and you get to see the Karens of the world go on to become fully hollow people when they keep trying to find external solutions to internal problems.

@desecration - You used one of my favorite expressions "...external solutions to internal problems." I think that every day when I see people who need psychological therapy resorting solely to drugs to make them feel better. You're right on the money.

At least he dumped the cheating bitch. And I've never seen a utility knife shorter than 5 or 6 inches.

Signed - A "real" carpenter.

to a "real carpenter" foo, you ought know, author was describing the blade even while calling it a knife. so u may be a "real carpenter" but your ability to understand or follow a train of thought is lacking, so I wouldnt expect your carpentry to be any better.

Had me laughing at the ending, no pun intended. The slice and dice did make me cringe just a little because I know how sharp those blades are and they cut flesh very easy. Could have been worse, he could have done the Zorro thing, lol. This story connected with me on several levels, I was a carpenter for over 30 years, luckily my Karen never cheated on me and we were married for over 50 years before she departed. Enjoyed, thanks.

Ordinary story. AA++

A good story better to find out now then 5 years down the track(jaybee186)

I'm never particularly impressed by husbands that sever everything. Makes for shit stories most of the time. Kinda rich, him complaining about her immaturity, when his reaction isn't all that mature either. Though i get that he was hurt.

Not great, but something to read and pass the time.

I cut my finger off on a job site. Not the (w)hole finger, the one next to it😆When I eventually got back to work, they had a box of chocolate finger biscuits waiting for me beside the coffee machine, while pissing themselves with laughter. It's good to have friends. They don't let you feel sorry for yourself.

Short, to the point. Well told. What's with the complaining comments? This is a quickie and as such a breath of fun.

THANkS

Thanks, I enjoyed this.

Gives a whole new meaning to 'pain in the ass'. Thanks for the TAIL!

somewhere east of Omaha

Nice background build-up, clear focus on Carl with a dramatic response to the "lovers". I didn't need to know much more about the guy than that he had a hairy white ass. I, like Carl, didn't need more and it was good to find out the truth before the wedding. Hope he was able to get his money back on the ring. Thank you.

I'll never look at my utility knife in quite the same way again . . .

Too many stories of interfering parents!! And too many are okay with a cheating spouse!!

He should of made him a eunuch, or a stubby!

Nice to get a smile when all is not going well. 4*s.

Incomplete

anonymous from 5 days ago - what do you mean 'incomplete'? What do you want - pictures?

4 stars Thanks J_W

somewhere east of Omaha

Not incomplete at all. Wonderful tale.

Ed

It should be his balls not his ass lol

But how many stitches did it take to sew his ass back together?

Read again,

An inch deep? He ain't walkin' nowhere.

Good short story. Ignore the critics!

No apologies needed. My hand can almost feel the sharp steel slicing through his ass flesh. Feels good

BS! BS! BS!

I have been a builder for years and cary a folding utility knife in my pocket all the time. I would do the same thing if I found my wife enjoying some strange. 5 stars

Great story. At first I thought, given the position of the "rapist", I thought the mc was going somewhere else with that knife :)

I like your stories that don't allow the women to explain or rationalize their shit behavior. Don't let them off of the hook

5 stars - I like this story

Utility knives definitely need more love! 5 stars.

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your writing.

That cutting image stays in our head nice imagery

Nice one “Stanley”!

He got rid of a cheating girlfriend and a piec of hairy, white ass at the same time.

Kind of a small utility knife. Good that he dumped the cheating girlfriend. Bad that it was a girlfriend and that there was no loving wife to be found in the story posted in the LW section.

Loved it. Bet hairy ass felt it was a bummer though lol. BardnotBard

Ouch an inch cut across both cheeksfrom side to side. Yikes!