All Comments on 'A Change in Climate Pt. 01'

I hope you take this as the constructive criticism that’s intended.

Overall the writing was good, but I found your way of inserting dialog to be really confusing. My mind wasn’t used to it, so I had to keep re-reading sections. I think this would be much more accessible using standard quotation marks.

I think your writing shows potential. It has good pacing and level of detail, and I didn’t notice any glaring grammar mistakes, but the lack of quotes made me question what people were thinking vs. actually speaking aloud.

- Kitty, look! My very first comment!

The cat looked at me with some hesitation, but I'm not easily discouraged.

- Yep, that's right! Want me to read it aloud for you?

"Whatever, fine", the cat's eyes said. I proceeded to devour the words my first commentator left me. I found myself nodding involuntarily.

- Yeah, I get it. The second part is published already, but I'll take this into account when I edit the third part. I guess when you write something from a first person perspective, and that person talks to herself both aloud and in her mind, that can get confusing. But, I mean, everyone does that, right kitty? Am I weird?

- Meow?

What a great Story! Well done.