All Comments on 'A Cheated Woman's Fury'

Good story!

5

Wow, you packed a lot into that flash story!

5* BtB... very nice.

Thanks.

Husband's need to watch out for guys named Jason. Good story with unusual plot. Haven't read one quite like this before. FBI is cheap than a PI for sure. Loving these stories where the cheating wife and lover getting arrested when they get caught.

A very good day at LW! until now two very good stories...4*

Enjoyed it thanks

Well rounded with a bit of a twist.

Quick. To the point. A stone cold 5* story by StoneyWebb. Thanks

That the narrator was a cheater was obvious. That's OK. What's not OK is that her plans are to run away and leave both ex-husband and best friend behind ... because that's inconsistent with what we're told is inside her head.

Those damn professional football tight ends! They steal everyone's wife!

Jason Witten

... errors completely spoil the flow....

Not a Cowboys fan, huh? Or is it their soon to be HOF tight end? Hahaha! I personally can't stand the Cowboys ever since they beat the Broncos (my team) in the '78 SB. Aaaanywaay....fun little twisting tale of self righteous indignation and comeuppance. Made me smile - especially with the reference to JW. Thanks - I enjoy your work.

Nice perspective on this one, refreshing.

5/5

There is a sub-reddit for adultery on reddit. Its like its own little hobby/sub-culture. They have their own lingo and everything. They talk, share tactics and brag. Its pretty disgusting.

On the whole the plot is a little trite. Too cute. If you were presenting it as a 3 it 4 pager with lots of character development (a quality I usually like) I would probably trash it.

But it is nice and short. Very concise and to the point. It is the perfect length for what it is. More would be irritating.

5*

I just don't understand why you'd have an affair with my husband says the cheating whore. Lol

Nice twist, I assumed the friend was the bad one, not the “wronged” wife

WOW - It's hard to find a new plot in LW but you managed to pull it off! I knew (as many probably did) when the two started talking where you were going with it, but then you threw the curve that the wife was actually the "bad guy". Yes, Kelly was wrong for screwing the husband before the divorce but their previous three way relationship offset that a bit. wish I could give it 6*

Nicely done. 4 stars.

No redeemable characters here, wife, husband and girlfriend all cheaters.

Wow nice twist. 5

Why is the wife being arrested? The way this is written reads like she didn't even know her boss was committing fraud. Oh, that's right...this is a LW story so everyone cheating has to pay.

This is the dumb story for the week. I feel like smacking all the characters and the author too.

Meh. First person POV, yet she's playing the part, to US, that she's this poor, innocent loving wife who is unfairly losing her husband to their best friend, when she actually knows that she's a cheater, a co-conspirator to fraud, who's planning on running away with her lover! And of COURSE the best friend is an FBI agent, LOL!

Mic drop.

That was great, a sort of a rollercoaster of a story. Nice job.

Thanks for this!

One confusing typo, ever for never. Other than that, perfect!

5*s!

Great, quick story. Sometimes it's a very small world.

Another enjoyable story. Thank you

...quickie that one. Thank you StoneyWebb.

As an early Anonymous commenter said:

"While obvious, the twist doesn't actually work"

.

And our dear Resident Nitpicker SBrooks nailed it nicely.

But that doesn't stop the BTB mob who want the wife to suffer no matter how illogical the plot.

Well done, StoneyWebb. Just keep feeding the chooks. They're insatiable.

.

Lue

Cannot give a 5 because the turnabout was so trite. Still do not understand why Carol cared about Todd or Kelly. For heavens sake, she was leaving everyone and everything behind to be with her co fraudster Jason. They were leaving the States to be together, they had to.

So yeah, a big plot hole there.

Scores 3/5

One of the whole points of first person is that we know every thought and feeling the narrator is having. Their grief, their anger, we know it all.

<P>

When it turns out the narrator, the one who is the seemingly betrayed party is really the betrayer, it's not a twist. It's a lie.

<P>

In third person, this would have worked, In first, it's shitty writing.

ACES!

A top notch story. 5 stars and a fave

chain of events. Not erotic. Two stars ⭐️ for this one.

People cheating on their spouses usually do get really pissed off if their spouses cheat on them.

didnt make sense, why the MC have a meeting with her best friend the fbi agent while she was doing what she was doing. would have made a better story if the MC was faithful

Not for the story but for great writing

Wow, really nice twist! Five Stars!

But happy I did.

Not what I expected! Great job.

Awesome. This was a new spin I've not seen before. Very nice.

If Todd was alone he might eventually get to where his feelings of betrayal would subside into indifference, but as long as he and Kelly are a couple Kelly's unforgiving attitude toward her will serve as a reminder of what she planned to do to him. She'll remain dead to both of them.

Nice twist.

Nice, short, sharp and shiny.

Glad the history was reasonable length, and in one of those rare instances, all pertinent.

Nice twist. That gets an extra star.

In spite of the time spent on Carol/Kelly's lifelong relationship, there wasn't much meat on the "character bones". It just didn't evoke sufficient emotional energy to care much about any of the characters.

I like shorter stories, but character development is tricky in brief tales.

Still, Decent. Thanks for doing this.

If Carol's plan was to run away with her boyfriend, why would she care about her soon to never be seen again best friend having sex with someone she was leaving behind, also forever? I love the retribution, but the rationale was way lacking.

what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.........

What an ugly double standard this woman shows! A good story told in a straight line. Well done!

POW!! Didn't see that coming!

Just perfect. 5*s

This was well written. You captured some strong emotions well. I enjoy when authors reveal what characters are thinking, and feeling, and you did that well, too. I kinda wish the erotic scenes had been filled out more. You know, some sweet or sweaty sex to count-balance the bitterness.

Good work. I hope you keep writing.

Good story enjoyed

jtwheels

There are a few elements of the storyline I don't understand. Why would Carol care that her husband Todd is banging her best friend Kelly? Carol has been cheating on Todd for six months, hasn't had sex with him in three months and is planning on divorcing him and leaving with her lover within days of this confrontation. Yet the reader is suppose to believe that Carol is distraught and humiliated by the betrayal by her best friend. A friend that she may never see again after she runs away. Lastly, Carol is arrested for fraud. She must have known and even helped her boss/lover commit fraud against the Federal Gov't. She also knew Kelly was an FBI agent. I would think that keeping away from Kelly would be in Carol's best interests at this critical time when the criminals are about to flee the US with their ill-gotten gains.

@Loejtc

I've read it in various stories here and i really believe it that some cheaters have no problem to cheat but when they find out they are cheated on they get angry. It's hypocratical of course but i've seen it in real life.

Something awry in the plot. Why would she care about an affair, even with her best friend, she's dumping the guy. It's good cover. And she's challenging a friend who is an FBI agent? Any one this dumb needs to be neutered.

Nice and Neat BTB!!! 5 Stars!!!

I don't think everyone gets why the wife is upset. She doesn't care about the cheating on the husband's part. It's probably great news, a real reason for divorcing him. She's upset about her friend betraying her. She cares about her friendship, and probably believed that she would somehow still have her friendship afterwards. She probably thought that her bond with her friend would last no matter what.

Also, if you plot with your boss/lover to run away with government money after defrauding the government, you will get arrested for conspiracy to commit fraud.

Not bad. Short and to the point.

She made her own bed and now she has to lay in it ! Extremely well written, and especially for such a short story ! There wasn’t a single word wasted as fluff . It seems your a very talented writer and I plan to confirm my suspicions by teading more of your stories . You impressed me !

Never marry a woman with a high body count, countless studies show how unfaithful they are, he's marrying another mistake.

Gee, willikers!

Jason Witten? Come on, man; I know the guy wasn't the best of football commentators, but to paint him like this... buhuhu! ;-;

Makes no sense. Why is the wife upset ?

She's cheating on her husband, going to divorce him and leave with her boss.

Fock yeahhh, five stars. Nuff said.

Seems to me Kelly had a real conflict of interest and risked losing her shield by screwing Todd. It was odd that Carol was so upset about being arrested, losing her husband and her best friend all at the same time when her plan was to dump them all anyway. I think the character of Carol needed to be portrayed as a harder customer than the story implied. Not a bad idea for a storyline. The execution just missed.

Way too much mea culpa in the ending.

kelly screws up goes to jail and is put in the same cell with carol and coral beats her to the point kelly almost dies

Todd won't forgive her either. Great story with unusual point of view.

Awesome. Nice BTB.

Great deserved BTB story!

Bill

Gotta love those girls like Kelly. she will make Todd strong enough to keep those cuckold tendencies at bay.

Better be careful about confronting your friend about screwing around with your husband when you are doing the same thing with someone else. She got bit in the ass with that. Pretty sneaky with the story description Mr. Author!

Something is missing in this plot. Story and cheating very weak indeed

too short...

I liked it a lot but the premise is absurd. She knows her best friend is with the FBI and she knows she is not only cheating, divorcing her husband AND committing fraud.

So the story is based on her being so angry at her best friend and wanting to know why she was supposedly betrayed by her. Like she didn't have a clue????

What drags this story down is that as a 1st person told tale by Carol, the reader is led to believe that Carol has righteous anger at Kelly for going after her husband — and actually seeks her out to get an explanation!

.

But that is a completely illogical thing to do given what we learn late in tne tale that Carol has been cheating for quite a while AND committing crimes with her paramour. And Kelly is an FBI agent!

.

So…3 *** only for a huge plot hole.

Nice story but it seems that you need a page or two more. It just seems to have ended too quickly.

Normally i am not so rude. But this story is bullshit. Two Twists on one page and some errors. It is no good writing when readers need to be fooled to make the story running.

Short and powerful. Well written and thought provoking.

Kelly obviously was taking advantage of the situation for her own benefit, she was not innocent in all of this. Not saying what Carol did was righ, she definitely deserved what she got, but not to be betrayed by her best friend like that.

4 stars.

Well she didn’t lose her best friend a best friend wouldn’t do what she did girl code an all that

She betrayed her husband AND her best friend, all at once. Dan Draper is a bad friend, if you can't keep your word don't give it!

Another great SW stories

Clever twist. Great story. You should move to California

good twist with the women confronting each other

Enjoyable!

BillS.

This was really very good.

It's weird she's more hurt at losing her friendship than her husband 😔 😕... she gives me lezbo tease.... her reaction to her friend ending the friendship was that of a lover losing their lover...

Hood story. 4*

I guess her getting ready to divorce her husband explains why she said she hurt more at the potential loss of friendship than the loss of her husband.

Way to short

This was a nice story and what a twist that Kelly ended up with Todd and Carol ended up in jail.

Only thing that wasn’t believable was that the FBI investigated an actual crime

Great turn around!

That was quite alot packed into a one pager. Well done!

Good construction of an ultra short story. Not prejudicial to either sex, fair in delivering consequences to the guilty regardless of sex……don’t want the Reconciliation and Burn crowds at each other’s throat after EVERY story. 4 + stars. R.H.

As others have mentioned .....Great treatment of a short narrative. Got everything in, including some emotional involvement, in a really tight and easy to read story. I like that it was told in first person and through mostly dialogue.

One of the very best LW short stories that I have ever read. The unexpected twist was masterful imagination and writing.