All Comments on 'A Computer Geek, Nothing to See Here'

very interesting start. Also very confusing to follow. Is there a part 2? Finally where is the Loving Wife?

I think I got it. It was not easy to follow and the POV changes are very distracting.

Hopefully over time as with other new writers, your rhetoric, spelling and grammar will improve so we can enjoy your stories without mental gymnastics to interpret your work. Keep going though.

I agree with Shackman636 - hard to follow in some parts. Had to reread a couple parts. I think the story has potential - hope there is more.

3 at best. Very messy writing unfortunately making this a bit of a chore to read. I really like the concept though, mob kid with amnesia living a fake life and getting rescued, getting revenge on those who destroyed his previous forgotten life. But I think the story needs to be longer and better edited to really work. I think the author has some good ideas judging by other stories of theirs but their writing style REALLY needs some work to better do the concepts justice.

I see this like an outline for a bigger story. There are several vignettes that seem related, but the connecting stories need to be completed. I get where you want it to go, but it's a map, not the territory. Of you took each section and made a chapter of it, I think it could be a good tale.

please continue

I was confused, the kid went from signing up for computer class to getting kidnapped, or something like that. KS

My theory on why this authors stories are erratic and confusing is that he likes a story type that has an air of mystery and thrill. The problem is, while the story is fully fleshed out in his head, not all the words to describe it make it to paper so to speak. That leaves us readers often wondering or guessing WTF is actually going on. He is getting better as this submission is better than earlier ones. Hopefully, he continues to try and improve.

3* for the parts of the story you decided to submit.

It is missing a lot.

Please keep trying.

ADHD is both a curse and a blessing.

It makes you think you included something that you thought of but failed to write down immediately.

On the other hand, it gives the occasional gift of hyperfocus.

Couldn’t follow it.

Could only get through a few paragraphs before bailing. Sorry but this author’s writing style makes is hard to follow. The story just doesn’t seem to flow right. It’s almost like he expects the reader to know what is going on inside his head instead of what he’s writing. It’s too bad really because he has some good story ideas.

LNRAstro said it all.

I'm sure there is a story there somewhere but I couldn't find it. No stars as I didn't want to lower your score.

5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE STARS and I'll tell you why! Excellent story Wolf for someone who is laid face down in a hospital bed face down typing with a pencil living through 10 months of reconstructive surgery to hopefully have a normal life like most of us! You contact me through my email and I'll teach you what I taught hundreds of College student on the subject of Literature and Creative Writing, the later I think you have down pat! 26thNC, had you edited this story, yes, all of it, you'd discovered what I did. I go straight to the comments and look for your comment and usually stand by you but not this one. Sure it took me sometime to edit and clean it up but had you done this, you'd have read a fascinating story! Thanks Wolf, hopefully you'll take me up on the offer! GOD SPEED BROTHER!

I stopped reading at office scene. The one where there was a dude that hooked up computers, a kid asking for unknown supplies? Then computer guy gets a phone call, excuses himself, a random cousin, a female on a phone yelling unintelligible things, an alleged blow job, and a window escape. Oh, and a principal telling him someone they needed their parents permission for something. All of which made zero sense. Not sure an editor or collective pointers from the audience could help sort this one out.

OK...I give up. I just can't grasp what the author is trying to portray. Good bye!

You started off by insulting your readers, then wrote pages of drivel. Can’t get an editor, can’t be bothered with grammar, this is just verbal. Omit and you are a ridiculous person. Next time do is a favour and shut the fuck up