All Comments on 'A Dangerous New Level Ch. 02'

wwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhaaaaoouuuuuuu!!!!!

I would have voted a ten if I could. Good, plausible story line, enough good sex, a little romance to keep it interesting. I hope you continue to follow them through College and into adult life together.

I want that. I want that - that was amazing and I can't get this story off my mind. Perfect. 100%. A+. I could not have asked for a better story. I love intoxicating tales...hehe keep writing, you've got so much further potential.

p.s. in case you're curious, I'm a girl, and an only child. -sulks-

So far, I am intoxicated by your story.

What a steamy story!! I love it. I tried writing a story of my own, and it was pretty decent but yours is just , wow ! good job.

The colour of her eyes changed from "blue" in the original story to "green" in this chaptor!

First person, both first persons, and now this?

Cost a point, just a 3, here.

In ch.1 Catherine's eyes were blue and now here in ch.2 they're green.

In the first installment, you spent a good amount of time on the background and building of your story. But now it has, more or less, just trailed off into a jerk piece. I'm very disappointed. You should have continued on building their relationship with less focus on the sex. You've already shown that you are capable of doing that.

The best of eroticism tells a great story first. That's the main course. The raw sex is just the seasoning that is added in to make the story taste even better. Please stop being heavy handed with the seasoning and give us more meat...pun not intended.

I just reread this and found something that I missed 8 months ago.

You wrote:

"Oh yeah" she said her green eyes staring into his with a dangerous heated light.

----

I was confused for a split second when I read Aaron's response because it should have been a question to make sense:

"Oh yeah," she asked, her green eyes staring into his with a dangerous heated light.

----

In my previous comments I should have mentioned that I agreed with the other complaints about continuity check regarding Catherine's eyes and the narrative changes from first to third person mid story. I still stand by the assessment that you rushed this out too quickly without building more love story into it.