A Discouraging Word

"You have an idea for something else? Something that's not dangerous?"

"No, but what if I were to go riding with you guys? I've already told them that I'm thinking of scheduling another ride later in the week. If you ride with Aaron and Trixie rides with me..."

He held up a hand, stopping me. "That's a lot to ask and a lot of responsibility to give. I need to think about it. For now, though, please don't suggest anything else that might be dangerous for my children. I'm the only parent they have now and after what happened to Heather...well, my tolerance for risk isn't very high."

He wasn't being mean but it was quite direct and rather forceful and I realized then that he'd already given me a warning when he mentioned "not dangerous" just seconds before I seemed to double down on the riding idea.

"I'm really sorry, Aaron. I wasn't thinking about that and didn't mean to endanger your kids or introduce them to dangerous ideas or anything. It won't happen again."

"You're right, it won't. I'm sorry, Sophie, but I don't think we should spend any more time together."

I glared at him. "If that's the way you want it." I walked back to the table, picked up my receipt, told Trixie and Elysha goodnight, and headed back to my room without another word to him.

***

Monday, July 11th

After my early morning run, I had some calls to make and emails to write so it was right after lunch when I finally made it to the beach. My butt was barely in my beach chair when Trixie came and plopped down in the empty one next to me.

"Hi, Sophie. Can you convince Daddy to take us to ride the horses? I really want to go but he said no."

It came out in a hurry, her words practically jammed together and the disappointment visible on her face. Aaron didn't look too happy to see her with me, but I figured letting a little steam out of his ears might do him some good. The man was quite good looking but he was even more uptight than I was.

However, he was Trixie's dad and I didn't want to undermine his authority. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. I don't think your daddy wants to do that. If he's really decided, I can't go against his decision. Do you understand?"

Her little brow was furrowed as she looked at me. "You don't like me anymore," she said, seemingly on the verge of tears, and then, without a goodbye, she was off like a six-year-old Flash.

Aaron was watching all the while from where he and Elysha were playing in the surf. He gave me a questioning look but since he still looked annoyed and since I had my sunglasses on, I pretended to have missed seeing him. I really liked Trixie, but Aaron had made his feelings known the previous evening and it wasn't my place to interfere or to explain myself further.

Still, sitting in that chair, I found myself watching them and my mind wandered, thinking of my hugs with Trixie, the one with Elysha, and that handshake with Aaron. He had seemed like a nice guy, was very good looking, and was very dedicated to his kids' welfare. All that made it hard to concentrate, so I moved to my beach blanket for some sun so I wouldn't keep watching. A few minutes of sun on my frontside made me realize that my plan wasn't working very well; I'd positioned my head so I could keep an eye on them, justifying it by thinking I'd be available if there was an emergency and Aaron needed help with the kids.

Relaxing can be difficult with that mentality though and he'd made it rather clear he didn't want my interference, so it wasn't long before I flipped over on my tummy and turned my face to the left, away from them. With my timer set and them tuned out as well as possible, I closed my eyes and dozed off.

It couldn't have been too long—the timer hadn't gone off yet—when I heard Aaron's voice. "Hi, Sophie. Mind if I join you for a minute?"

I rolled over on my side and looked up at him, moving my sunglasses up on top of my head so I could see him better.

His feet shoulder width apart and his hands on his hips he looked like one of those comic book characters posing for a cover shot. He was in great shape; standing several inches taller than me, his waist was narrow, his chest broad, and his shoulders broader still.

"You wanna sit down or want me to stand up?" I asked, "Because this angle isn't working for my neck at all."

He laughed and dropped straight down, cross-legged, right across from me.

I sat up, too, but suddenly panicked when I realized the kids weren't with him. "Aaron! The kids?"

"Sandcastle time," he said, pointing to them being quite industrious just a few yards away. "I told them I'd be watching like a hawk and not to move from that spot without asking me."

"Good that you get something of a break then," I said, smiling. "So, do you want to tell me off for speaking with Trixie? If so, you'll have to move further down the beach, one way or the other, since my chair and umbrella rental is right here." I didn't actually say "I'm not moving," but that was what was implied and exactly what I meant.

"No! Not at all."

"Then what's up?"

He grimaced, just slightly, before saying, "Trixie said you weren't her friend anymore. I didn't mean for what I said last night to come across—"

"Aaron, stop, please. I am Trixie's friend. She's a sweet girl, I like her a lot, and I'd never want to hurt her, but she's also six." I quickly related our conversation, leading him to nod in understanding when I finished. As we talked, we were both watching the kids, glancing at each other from time to time.

"Thanks, Sophie. I think you nailed it perfectly, and I really appreciate that. And, I couldn't stop thinking about our discussion last night...either part. I need to apologize and I'd like to explain."

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Aaron, or explain anything either. I made a silly demand for me that you can like or lump, and the kids, well, they're your kids and it's not my place to interfere."

"I do. First, the keeping-things-private thing; I didn't mean to sound upset but it sounded like you were assuming that something would happen. I've been married for nine years—well, it's been nine since Heather and I married anyway—and we were together for almost two before that, so it sounded to me like you thought something would happen between us. With my background that offended me a bit and raised my hackles."

"Aaron, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that; I was trying to protect myself, not accuse you of anything."

"Okay, I'm sorry I took offense; if anything were to develop between us over time, we can cross that bridge if we come to it. It's the second part that needs more explanation, the part about the kids and me being protective. Their mother's death affected them a lot, Trixie the most, but Elysha in ways, too...but it affected me, too, and in a major way, I'm afraid."

I looked at him, seeing the tension in his face, the hesitation to go on. I reached out and touched his hand, patting it to tell him it was okay to continue.

"It was January, two winters ago when we had a big snowstorm and we were snowed in for a couple of days. When they got the roads cleared and things started clearing up a bit, Heather went out for her usual run—she always said it cleared her mind and helped her think clearly—but she didn't come back."

"She was involved in an accident," I guessed, thinking of times when I'd come close to being hit by a vehicle when I was out running on the streets of Creek City, many of which don't have sidewalks.

"Accident, yes...but not the type you'd probably think. The firefighters told me later that about a hundred people die in accidents involving falling trees, falling limbs, and so forth in the U.S. each year, and a lot more are injured. Heather won the lottery that day but in a really bad way. A big branch, weakened by the weight of the snow and ice, broke and crashed down on her while she was running under it. By the time we found her after she was overdue in returning...it was too late."

"Oh, Aaron, that's horrible!" I turned toward him to see that his face was a mask of pain as he watched his kids.

"Be right back," he said, scissoring up from where he sat in a rush and going to the kids at a run. He got them a bucket of water, helped for a few moments, and then told them to stay put before returning to me.

I watched all that time, thinking how sad it was, for him to lose his wife and his kids their mother over something so unexpected, so unpredictable. I also watched his physique; in his condition, he really could have been the inspiration of a pretty decent comic book character.

"Can we sit in the chairs?" he asked when he was back. With a laugh, he added, "Coming up from the ground like that hurt more than I expected."

I took his hand and he helped me up, leading me to take a step forward, almost chest to chest with him when I got my balance with him still holding my hand in his. I looked into his eyes, as pale green as mine were blue, and saw they were cloudy, the pain of Heather's passing still obvious despite the passage of a year and a half.

"Aaron, I'm so sorry for your wife and for what you all must have gone through."

He nodded and directed me to a chair and he took the other beside me where we could see the kids better. I took a breath; I'm not sure if I breathed at all when I was standing so close to him.

"Thanks, Sophie. I guess you could say I've been gun-shy about anything even remotely dangerous, being very careful since then. I'm just trying to keep the kids safe and keep me in good condition where I'll be able to take care of them until they're grown. My parents and Heather's parents love them, but they don't need to be saddled with the responsibility of raising them."

"But you can't keep them from being kids, Aaron, particularly at their ages. Kids get hurt sometimes. And if you protect them too much, you may deny them some of the experiences that might help them or might just make them happier over time. Think about it, okay? And if you reconsider and decide you want to take them riding after all, my offer still stands if you need another adult rider."

Once again, we'd both been watching the children and looking at each other with little glimpses as we talked, but he turned back toward me then and looked into my eyes, holding mine locked on his, before smiling and giving me a nod. "Let me think about it and I'll get back to you, okay? For now, though, break's over. I need to go be a hands-on dad again and help them with that sandcastle. He's trying to help, but I think Elysha's destroying it almost as fast as Trixie's building it."

It probably wasn't appropriate but I didn't think about it at the time. "Want some help? I'd like to let Trixie see that I'm still her friend, too."

"Sure, come on over."

I gathered up my things and joined them a couple of minutes later, with Trixie jumping up to give me a hug and Elysha following suit, planting his little foot right in the middle of one of the walls of their sandcastle. Trixie started to chew him out about that, but Aaron stepped in, and soon all four of us were rebuilding and expanding her sandcastle. Being an architect, Aaron had some suggestions...lots of suggestions.

A little later, we played in the surf, with Elysha falling down and laughing time and again. Aaron looked worried at first, but we were in the shallows and he soon saw that there wasn't anything to worry about. Not wanting to set him to worrying again, I didn't mention the possibility of sharks or jellyfish or anything like that; the travel brochure stressed that sharks in the area generally weren't dangerous, with fewer than 20 recorded shark bites at area beaches in the past 100 years.

We took a walk down the beach a little later, with Trixie grabbing my hand with her left and her dad's with her right. Elysha was content running along in the surf and plopping down in almost every wave and it wasn't too long before Trixie joined him. As we continued to walk, I wasn't thinking about it but when my hand brushed Aaron's, both hands turned a bit and our fingers interlocked.

For about five seconds, anyway.

"Oh, God, Sophie, I'm so sorry," he breathed as he jerked his hand away. "I didn't mean to be so familiar....."

"Aaron, it's okay,' I replied, reaching out and taking his hand in mine. "If you don't mind? I sort of liked it."

He smiled but didn't pull away this time, at least until Trixie wanted back in between us. Elysha took his dad's hand then, too, and we made our way back to our spot on the beach.

When it was time to go in, Trixie stepped up in front of me and put her hands on her hips, doing a good imitation of her dad earlier in the afternoon. Who says kids don't imitate their parents?

"Sophie, can you eat dinner with us again tonight?"

"Trixie, don't put Sophie on the spot like that. She may already have plans."

While I didn't, I was concerned about how we'd ended up holding hands a little earlier, and how I was having trouble looking away when Aaron looked at me. He clearly wasn't ready for that, and I didn't need to be pushing him...or becoming overly familiar myself considering that I only had days left before leaving.

"Uh, thanks, Trixie, but your daddy's right, I have something planned this evening."

She gave me a hug and looked up at me. "See you tomorrow?"

"Count on it."

***

Tuesday, July 12th

I ran on the beach again early on Tuesday morning and then got to work after breakfast. More online research was followed by a few more emails and some calls. Afterward, came a short nap—what's a vacation but being able to indulge oneself sometime?

It was out to the beach right after lunch in a two-piece bikini but, on arriving, I was disappointed when the Tuckers were nowhere in sight. Since it was lunchtime, I figured they were taking a break, so I sunned for a while, first on my back, then on my front.

When the timer went off again, there were still no Tuckers to be seen.

Taking my seat, I was surprised at myself for worrying about—no, actually missing—them.

Perhaps it was just missing Trixie and her little brother, as I tried to tell myself, but thoughts of Aaron were there, too. In fact, I'd felt more intimacy in holding hands with him for those few minutes the day before than I'd felt with Holden in our entire time together. Oh, Holden had been much more physical, and it felt great in the moment, at first anyway, but it had left a hollow feeling afterward, something that I, as someone who usually made love with lovers rather than a relatively random (though very good-looking) stranger, wasn't used to experiencing.

Having spent some time with them, I knew their beach bag by sight, but 1 o'clock turned to 2 and neither they or it was anywhere to be seen. I began to wonder if they'd had a change of plans or if, perhaps, Aaron had decided to make a change of scenery to avoid me after all...or, maybe, to keep me from doing any more stupid stuff like trying to hold his hand.

Some pages into the next chapter of my book while I sat in the beach chair under the shade of the umbrella, I closed my eyes for just a moment.

"Sophie! Sophie! Are you okay?"

Trixie's voice woke me as her hand shook my arm.

"Hi, Sweetie! I dozed off. How are you? Where've you been?"

"We went to get pizza at lunch and then Elysha fell asleep in the room when we got back. Daddy said I could take a nap, too, and then he fell asleep and I had to wake him up just like you."

I laughed as she gave me a quick hug. "Your daddy needs rest, too, you know. He has a lot of responsibility taking care of you two."

Her little face scrunched up a bit, as if she was thinking really hard about that. "You're right I guess but not when we're supposed to be at the beach."

I laughed again and pulled her back in for another hug. As I did, I saw Aaron over playing with Elysha in the surf, watching us with a smile.

"What do you think? Should we go play in the water with your brother and your daddy?"

She took my hand and led me off at a run toward them.

We were about half way there when I realized it was a good thing my legs were still a good bit longer than hers or I'd be looking a lot like Kate Upton in that movie scene after all!

***

It was a fun afternoon, reminding me of those long-ago days when Sue, Ronny, and I were big enough to play mostly on our own, running up and down the beach or body surfing with our boogie boards, Keith and Carson were still small enough that Dad had to be right on top of them, and Mom had Deke and Wally sitting right on the edge of the water, splashing as the frothy water ran up around them and then receded with lots of bubbles and laughter.

Aaron and I watched his kids close, with Aaron always within arm's length of them. As the afternoon progressed, he let them have a few more feet, but when Elysha got knocked down on his butt and the water splashed his face, Aaron started to grab him.

I grabbed Aaron's arm first and restrained him, just a bit. "Give him a second, Aaron. Please."

He hesitated, giving Elysha just enough time to basically launch himself back to his feet almost like a rocket with peels of childish laughter. I giggled, Aaron chuckled rather sheepishly at his mother-hennishness, and, a moment later, he moved and I found our fingers interlaced. He gave me a quick look—oh, no, he didn't stop watching the kids, but wasn't right on top of them—a knowing smile, and my hand a gentle squeeze.

The best part was that second later when he looked back at the kids, he didn't let go.

***

When it was time to pack up and go inside, I noticed Trixie frowning at her dad, shifting from side to side, foot to foot, almost as if she needed to go to the bathroom.

"Trixie, do you need to go on inside ahead of these slowpokes for a potty break?" I whispered.

She gave a quick shake of her head but moved away, making me wonder if I'd done something wrong. A second later, she was back in front of her dad, doing the same thing though looking even more intense, and he was giving this cute, frowning stare back at her. She nodded, he shook his head, so imperceptibly that I barely saw it, and then she gave a much more forceful single nod. His head tilted a bit and his frown became a smile. I think there was a wink, too, but he was turning away to pick up the last of their things.

On stuffing them in the big bag, he stepped over in front of me. In a quiet voice, he asked, "Sophie, would you like to join us for dinner tonight?"

"I'd like that," I agreed, which was followed by a six-year-old giving an excited whoop and a small flock of winged beach scavengers leaping into the sky with screeches before they landed about twenty feet away and resumed their perpetual foraging.

As we walked inside, Trixie was holding her daddy's hand and Elysha was holding mine.

We met in the lobby a bit later and I was glad that I'd dressed up a bit and worn full makeup. Aaron was wearing a dark green polo shirt that set off his pale green eyes, khaki pants with sharp pleats, and some reddish-brown boat shoes that matched his belt; I smiled, thinking he looked like one of those good-looking male models in an L.L. Bean catalog.

Or maybe a comic book superhero dressed by L.L. Bean.

I was wearing short heels in addition to my sundress so he still had two or three inches on me as I stepped up to him and, not hesitating, I kissed his cheek. Of course, I'd spent the entire hour getting ready debating whether I should do it....

Aaron caught my hand and interlocked fingers with me, palm to palm, and looked into my eyes as I started to step back, but he shocked me as he leaned in and his lips touched mine.

Soft, his lips touching me, capturing my upper lip for a moment before slipping on.

Sensual, my heart fluttering, my breathing caught, wanting more.