A Discouraging Word

Short, dammit! I was really getting into it when he pulled away, a smile curled on his lips. "Sorry about that," he whispered. "I've been wanting to do that all day."

"What, since you saw me running in that bikini this afternoon?"

"Ah, no, since I woke up this morning actually. But seeing you running in the bikini was an unexpected treat."

He laughed when I poked his arm and then we saw Trixie looking at us, biting her lower lip as her eyes went back and forth between us. I scooped her up in my arms and gave her a big hug, allowing her to squeeze my neck in return.

We enjoyed a nice dinner followed by brownies and vanilla ice cream for dessert. The brownies were warm, rich, moist, and so chocolatey that it made me wonder if they were delicious or venturing into downright decadent territory.

I must admit that I played with my spoon a bit more than necessary, licking the ice cream off, flicking my tongue over it rather provocatively as Aaron watched, enthralled by my performance. I smiled at him as I finished the last bite, and he grinned, shaking his head. At the same time, Elysha was falling asleep and Trixie was yawning so much she was having a hard time chasing bits of brownie around her bowl.

After paying the checks, Aaron started to wake the kids, but I told him I'd carry Elysha if he could carry Trixie. That little boy was getting rather heavy on my shoulder and chest by the time we reached their room, but I got him inside and helped him brush his teeth and get ready for bed. He was asleep again as soon as his head hit the pillow, and Trixie followed on her side of the bed just moments later.

We walked to the door to their room, stopping in the little hallway just inside the door by the bathroom. "Thanks, Sophie," he whispered as his hands settled on my forearms and slid down where our fingers interlocked. "I really appreciate the help and really enjoyed dinner with you, too. Oh, and dessert, too."

He raised an eyebrow on the last part before grinning at me. He was taking too long so I almost leaned in to kiss him when he said, "Sophie, have you given any more thought to what we dis—"

I put my index finger on his lips, silencing him. "Aaron, hush up and kiss me."

His arms went around me and pulled me close, our hearts beating together, as we came together for our second kiss of the evening. This time it wasn't the gentle brush and nibble of earlier, it was harder, more intense, lingering and changing as the seconds passed, our skin touching, our tongues dancing together with him tasting like heaven in the form of brownie and ice cream.

I pulled away to catch my breath. "You...you got mint ice cream," I said. "I didn't realize until..."

He nodded. "You like?"

"I think I love," I said, moving in for one more kiss before leaving.

***

Wednesday, July 13th

We met on the beach but threatening skies caused us to go inside a bit before noon. Since the weather app said the rain wouldn't last too long, we took the kids to the resort's grill for hamburgers and such. Aaron wanted to take the kids up for a nap and then head back to the beach later in the afternoon.

"Sophie?" he started before pausing. "Ahem..."

He was about to ask me to come up with them, I was sure of it, but that was the only thing I was certain about. After yesterday and last night, I was having feelings, strong feelings, about Aaron, where we were, and where we could potentially be going if we allowed ourselves to do so. I liked him a lot, but Saturday was getting closer by the minute and the end result would be the same. I'd go my way, he'd go his with the kids, and I'd never see them again.

"Tell you what, I'll see you on the beach again at, say, 3?" I said it with a smile, a forced smile, that stopped his invitation cold and reduced my risk of doing anything that might lead to trouble come my departure time on Saturday or beyond. I pulled both kids to me and gave them a hug as I spoke.

He nodded, a hint of sadness crossing his face, making me realize we were spending too much time together and that he'd have a problem similar to my own when we went our separate ways.

With a "See you later," I turned and walked away, hoping he didn't notice the wave of sadness that was engulfing me.

***

A bit before 3, I went back to the beach and was glad to see the Tuckers making their way toward me a short time later. Trixie came running my way with Elysha right behind her. I was getting my dose of hugs from the kids while Aaron dropped off their things in their usual spot a short distance from the resort's reserved section for guests with chairs and beach umbrellas.

He came over, giving an almost shy little wave and a wry smile as he approached. "Hey, kiddos, I need to speak to Sophie for a minute. If," he added looking at me, "she has a minute for me?"

With the kids sitting in my beach chairs with firm orders not to get up, Aaron took my elbow and escorted me a few feet away where we could watch but they couldn't overhear us.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Sophie, are you still interested in going riding? Friday? I have a reservation set up in the cart on the website if you can do it."

I looked at him under my brow. "Quick, call the Feds, someone's body snatched Trixie and Elysha's dad." It was barely out before I started laughing. "You're serious?"

"They're kids and I'll still want to be careful with them, but I can't stop them from having fun doing things kids want to do either. Are you interested?"

"Have you checked the weather?"

"The weather app says sunny to mostly sunny."

"I'm in. They're going to be so excited!"

"Shh! Don't tell them. We'll surprise them on Friday right before we leave or we'll never hear the end of it. Oh, and thanks, Sophie, for suggesting it and for making it possible for them to do it. I suspect it will be something they won't soon forget."

I gave him a quick hug. "Aaron, I suspect you're right...and that we better get back over there."

We played the rest of the afternoon and they asked me to join them for dinner again that evening. I agreed but made it conditional on the grounds they wouldn't offer me any more brownies and ice cream. "I had to run for an extra hour this morning to burn all those calories!" I joked.

It had actually only been twenty-five extra minutes...but then again, I doubted that I'd gotten all of the calories either.

After a good dinner, Trixie asked if I could walk them to their room and help tuck them in bed again. It was a lot earlier than the night before, but Aaron shrugged his shoulders as an early bedtime was fine with him if that's what they wanted. We did the bedtime routine and tucked them in and then I found out about story time, bringing back memories of Mom and Dad reading to us when I was little.

First, Aaron read "The Diggingest Dog," Elysha's favorite, and then I read "Green Eggs and Ham," Trixie's choice for the evening. The little boy was asleep about half way through Dr. Seuss, and Trixie was yawning by the time we were done so I gave her another kiss before turning out the light.

Aaron stepped outside with me as I was leaving.

"You're so lucky, Aaron. They're such sweet kids."

"True, but look who's talking. The sweetest woman I know."

He grinned at me but I shook my head. "Aaron, please. We've been through this."

"I know we have. And I'm still as confused and skeptical as I was before, Sophie. I like you a lot and I'm pretty sure you like me, too. Why can't—"

Feeling my eyes clouding up and not wanting him to see, I interrupted. "Stop, Aaron. I have to go."

I escaped just in time before the first tears rolled down my cheeks.

***

Thursday, July 14th

I needed to think so after my early morning run on the beach, I skipped it for the rest of the morning.

That meant skipping the Tuckers, too, and that hurt a lot. However, I wouldn't be seeing them again after Friday anyway, so I figured I'd have to get used to it.

I found myself thinking of them, of Aaron and of the kids, and by 1 was on my way to the beach. Mom says I can be too indecisive but this time I felt I was deciding to go and to go see them.

We had a great afternoon together and Aaron even sat in the second chair and held hands with me for a while as we watched the kids play a short distance away.

As we were heading inside to get ready for dinner, he leaned in and kissed me, as if without having to think about it. My tongue ran over my lips as I made my way up the elevator of my tower, thoughts of salt water and mint ice cream making me smile.

***

We ate dinner together on Thursday evening and then went to Aaron's room for a while to watch Beauty and the Beast. When it was over, we got them to bed with another round of stories and lots of hugs and kisses.

As I was about to go, Aaron opened the door and stepped out in the hall with me.

"Sophie, I never dreamed I'd be saying this last Sunday, particularly in light of what you told me, but I've had such a great time with you that...well, I want to keep seeing you after we leave this place."

"Aaron, you know we can't do that. We're from different worlds. I don't know where but from what you've said, you're from the city."

"I'm from—"

"Shhush! Don't say it, please! I can't know. What I'm saying is that you're from the city but I'm from about as country as you can get short of living on an actual farm. Our lives are different and I'm about to make a major change, too, so, come Saturday, we'll go our separate ways and let bygones be bygones."

"No. If you won't come to me, I'll come to you, at least for a while until we know whether—"

"Aaron, stop it. You're just making this harder for both of us. I can't get close to you. You have your children as your primary responsibility—"

"Which is why I've gotten with the hotel and arranged a babysitter for tomorrow night so I can ask you to dinner, just you and me, with the kids having their own little pizza party in the room. Please, Sophie, go to dinner with me so these kids can enjoy their pizza party. They really want it, Sophie, and they're counting on you to help them. Please?"

I laughed at the silly way he said it, but he was smiling, knowing exactly how silly it sounded but knowing at the same time how much he wanted me to say yes.

My heart was torn, knowing what I should do and knowing what I wanted to do. In the end, it was the kids who helped me decide. After all, who would want to be responsible for denying children their pizza party?

That settled, Aaron kissed me goodnight, standing right there in front of his door.

***

Friday, July 15th

Right after lunch on Friday, we went out the front where a valet had Aaron's Volvo XC90 waiting. I grinned, thinking that architects must make pretty good money. I navigated while Trixie and Elysha chattered in the back seat. Well, mostly Trixie.

The ride was great, with Aaron holding Elysha in front of him and me holding Trixie. It was a little disappointing being confined to the walkers group, but we were doing it together and both of the kids were having a blast. Mark gave me a curious look and his sister gave him a smirk, but he didn't ask and I didn't try to explain. The intricacies of Sophie's love life were just too complicated I thought as I laughed inside, before thinking of my coming departure.

After Trixie took great care to explain to Aaron how much she wanted her own horse, she was quiet for a change, dead tired, I suspected. Elysha was out of it, sound asleep in his booster seat, and I was busy dwelling on what was to come. Still, the children had their pizza party and we had our date in a few hours, so I tried to focus on that instead. I looked over at Aaron and caught him looking at me out the corner of his eye. He turned toward me and smiled before quickly refocusing on the road.

No need to have a safe car like a Volvo if you can't pay attention.

***

After the issues I'd had wearing my little black dress the previous week, I went with all white, a sleeveless V-neck that hung several inches above my knees, low white heels, and nude colored thigh highs. I went with gold stud earrings, a matching necklace, and a bracelet.

The surprise was that I'd visited the resort's salon and used the coupon for a free haircut and style; it had been one of our gifts for reserving so early, back when the world seemed simpler. As a result, my hair was down and hanging free, curled under just above my shoulders, and the touch of additional blonde highlighting, for which I'd paid extra, appeared to me to be a good investment. Lastly, my makeup was tasteful but muted; something told me that Aaron would prefer that to the virtual war paint I'd put on for Holden.

Aaron smiled as he saw me approaching across the lobby and then his mouth fell open in surprise when he saw my hair. He raved about it for a bit before I reminded him that he hadn't kissed me good evening.

He took care of that with a soft and sweet one that made me want to keep going for a while, but he had to end it since our name was called.

"How come one can wait for a table at a restaurant for hours but they call you right away when you'd like for them to take a while?" I laughed as we walked, arm in arm, toward the reception desk.

"It's called showing up at 7:29 for a 7:30 reservation," he chuckled before stopping and kissing me again, right in front of the desk. Turning to the young lady behind the counter when we parted again, he said, "You called for a reservation for Tucker."

At our table, we chatted for a while as we ordered drinks and then our meal. When the waitress went to get the drinks, Aaron just looked at me, smiling.

"What's wrong? Did I smudge my makeup?" I asked, feeling self-conscious about his gaze.

"No, Sophie, you're so beautiful this evening, with nothing out of place. And Trixie's going to love your hair as much as I do."

He paused, just looking at me as I stared back at him. "Okay, you're making me nervous. Did someone pin a "kick me" sign on me?"

Lips thin but flirting with a smile, he shook his head again. "Sophie, I can't figure you out and don't understand why you're here with me tonight, even why you've spent so much time with us this week. You said you were here for nearly two weeks. You're beautiful, you're sexy, and you're really sweet, so unless it's because you really want to be alone for some reason, I don't understand why you'd be here by yourself. Surely you didn't come here to brighten things up for me and the kids and make us smile?"

I blushed at his comment and the curious smile he was giving me as he said it. True enough, he'd been smiling a lot more over the past few days. And truth be told, I had been, too.

"Aaron, I wasn't originally supposed to be here by myself. My boyfriend, let's call him Brat," I said, picking up on Uncle Horace's nickname, "and I had been having trouble since a bad prank he pulled last fall. We broke up for a short time then before getting back together, but things ended up being strained and just never were quite right. He started talking about getting married, which he felt would fix everything, but I doubted it so I pushed for counseling. You might guess how that went over."

"Yeah, but how'd the actual counseling turn out?"

"It didn't happen. He resisted until I basically gave him an ultimatum. We had to do it or we'd have to go our separate ways. I was probably too accommodating when he kept putting it off, but I finally suggested that we do it while we were on this vacation since we'd be here for nearly two weeks and could do four or five sessions with a great counselor I found nearby that specializes in premarital counseling. Bar—ah, Brat agreed and we signed up, but then something else came along and he bailed, saying that he couldn't come. Aaron, we'd been planning this vacation for months and the counseling for almost two when he pulled that."

"He thought he'd call your bluff."

"Exactly, only I wasn't bluffing. Seeing how much it mattered to him, I couldn't keep going, so I called it quits with him then. Unfortunately, the room was non-refundable, it was too late to find anyone else to come with me, and, well, here I am."

He nodded, as much from compassion as from understanding. "I'm sorry for how you came to be here, Sophie, but I must admit I'm really glad you're here. I've, ahem, the kids and I have really enjoyed spending time with you, and we really appreciate all of the time you've spent with us. Our vacation just wouldn't have been the same without you."

"I'm sure! Those poor kids, not getting their pizza party tonight." We both chuckled at the thought.

"Seriously, Aaron, I'm really glad I met you guys, too." I paused, thinking of how I'd miss them when I left tomorrow. I'd come to really like him, everything about him, and knew that under the right circumstances, I'd like to spend a lot more time with him to see if there might be something more between us, something possibly long term, or maybe even something permanent. "And I'm going to miss you, miss you all."

Aaron reached across the little table and took my hand in his. "Sophie, I, ahem, need to say this. I really thought my life was over when Heather died. I loved her so much that I couldn't imagine going on without her, that I'd wither up and die, too, but I realized really quickly that I had to be there for the kids. It hurt me but it hurt them more and left lasting scars. I've struggled through and decided recently that it was time to move on, but they haven't had that option. Now, this week with you, they've really opened up. Trixie's happier and Elysha's been talking a lot more. I think that's attributed to you, him spending time with you and enjoying it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the week's almost over, but I'd like for what we have together to, well, not be over. I'd like for us to stay in touch and see what happens over time."

And there it was, exactly what I'd warned him about in the beginning before we knew if there ever could be something between us. I shook my head.

"Oh, we could," I agreed, "but you know in your heart that it wouldn't work out if we did. As much as I like you, Aaron, I know how these things work," I said, thinking of Uncle Horace and his much-missed Clarissa. "The problem is that my life's in transition right now. I've actually made some decisions over the past two weeks and I finally know where I'm going after basically being in limbo for so long. Everything's worked out now and I'm looking forward to it, but then I meet you right as I get it worked out and now I can throw it away or take a risk with you for something that we might change our minds about next week or next year. I can't do that, Aaron; I can't take that risk. I'm sorry."

"Why not, Sophie? You don't have to give anything up. We can stay in touch from a distance for a while and—"

"And distract each other and stress over it and cause trouble for your kids, making them wonder why we can't work things out. No, Aaron, I can't do long distance and I don't think you'd be willing to do it for long either. No, I'm leaving for home tomorrow and you're leaving for your home on Sunday, and what we have together here stays here."

He started to speak again, to object I know, but our meals arrived then and we nibbled in silence until I put down my fork, my food picked over but largely uneaten.

"Aaron, I'm leaving in the morning...but that still leaves this evening. Would you like to go up to my room with me? Please?"

It was a melancholy walk, hand in hand, no words spoken, no words needed. We both knew this was the end for us, but each of us wanted a happy memory to take home, for the other as much as for ourself. When I closed my door, we embraced and held each other with sadness in our eyes.