A Discouraging Word

"Ahem...sure," I said, wanting to die even as I said it.

He was quite gentle as he removed it from my shoulders, as the sleeves slid down my arms and fell off, exposing my near nakedness to the world. He folded it and was about to hang it over the back of my chair when his breath caught.

"Oh. My. God," he whispered, saying it just like Thor's girlfriend in one of those Marvel movies my brothers love so much.

I turned toward him then, not sure if that was a good thing, until he saw my front. "My God, Sophie, you are so beautiful," he breathed. I swear I noticed the front of his swim trunks move as he said it.

"Thanks, Holden? Wanna have a seat?"

"Definitely. Sophie, if I'd have known just exactly what you had under that dress last night, I might have gone caveman on you. Picked you up, threw you over my shoulder, and took you back to my resort cave to make mad, passionate love to you all night. You are just...wow, words fail me."

I grinned at him, surprised in a way at the reaction but happy nonetheless. We ordered a round of drinks from the cabana bar waitress and then sat and talked for the rest of the morning.

After being so understanding about my qualms the night before, Holden was once again open and honest with me, so I decided to be the same, shutting out Sue's almost shouted warnings in my mind. I found myself telling him far more about myself than I originally planned. It all spilled out, my name and background, the Barbecutie Pit, Creek City, Bart, and my debate about returning to school to finish my degree. He was very interested and very supportive, asking questions that made me think and offering a few suggestions along the way. We swapped phone numbers and texts to confirm.

The conversation turned at some point. "Sophie, I'm sorry I scared you off last night. You're an incredible young woman and I was, quite frankly, completely turned on."

I blushed, an embarrassed smile covering my face. "I was pretty turned on over you, too, Holden, but I needed a little more time. I appreciate you giving it to me."

He nodded as he took my hand. "You're so worth the wait."

***

We spent most of the rest of the day together before heading back to our rooms to get ready for dinner. My hair took a while; I finally settled on an uptwisted braid in the back, wishing all the while that I'd gone with a bit more blonde highlighting, but my usual dark brown color with what highlights I had would have to do.

I dressed in a wraparound-style little black dress that dipped low but not so low I couldn't wear a deep V bra to keep everything looking good and in place. It also had an asymmetric hemline that added a bit of character. Teamed with black high heels, thigh highs, diamond stud earrings, a small but matching solitaire pendant, and three-quarter dark smokey eyes with a blue tinge to highlight my own blue eyes, I'm not sure if I'd ever looked hotter.

Holden was desperate for me with his eyes when he saw me walking up to meet him; I'm not sure he even realized his tongue touched his lips for a moment before he bit down on his bottom lip. I smiled and said, "Hi, Holden."

"Holy shit, Sophie! I thought you looked fucking hot in that bikini today. You're absolutely divine," he said, pulling me to him.

After last night and a few samples earlier in the day, I knew what was coming...until I didn't. This time, he played me like a violin with only his lips, dancing them lightly all the way around my lips like a prima ballerina before suddenly going head on, lips slightly open and giving me a solid, harder pucker to die for.

I think I said "wow" or something like that when he kissed me the night before, but that didn't seem good enough now. I felt I needed something in a romantic tongue like French to come close to expressing what I was feeling, but since I didn't do that well in my one semester of high school French and since French poodles probably have a better French accent than Mrs. Potansky, I said nothing, trying to catch my breath instead.

Holden smiled at me then and ran his finger across my bottom lip. "Careful there, you'll bite that pretty lip off if you don't stop chewing it like that. You'll need it later."

It was only then that I realized I'd been imitating him just moments before our kiss and I let off, still panting.

"Relax, Sophie. You're absolutely the hottest girl here and I'm, by far, the luckiest guy."

He took my arm and led me into the resort's upscale restaurant for the second night in a row.

***

We dined, we drank, we danced.

I probably drank more than I should have and Holden had a lot more than me, but we seemed to be fine and in a circumstance where it wouldn't matter and we could enjoy ourselves.

I enjoyed every minute of it, and on the dance floor, we kissed for a while, a long while, as we pressed ourselves together. As such, I was desperately ready when he said the magic words, "Would you like to go up to my room?"

"Yes. Now, please."

We made it into his room and got the door closed before he pinned me against the wall, his hands trying to undo the wrap. I had to help and my dress hit the ground in a clump a moment later. My bra followed a second after that and he had my boobs pushed high and was moaning into them before I could get two of the buttons undone on his shirt. I was moaning as I peeled it up and off of him, tossing it away so I could move to his belt.

His pants were around his ankles then and he'd returned to kissing me as his hands practically mauled my tits, kneading them skillfully and tweaking my nipples, a mix of pleasure almost but-not-quite bordering on pain. I whimpered when he lost my left boob, leaving it untended, but his hand was on my thigh then, pulling it up, and his dick, huge in his boxer briefs, was pressed against my pussy.

Worried about that stupid hot pink bikini, I'd shaved my patch down to almost nothing. I pushed his underpants down somehow, freeing him, and his giant head was pushed against me.

"Condom's in my purse," I grunted as I got a hand on his dick. So thick, I don't think my fingers touched my thumb as I gave him a slow pump. From what I could tell, he didn't have a hair down there either.

"Fuck!" he growled before sucking my nipple and a good part of my tit down his throat. It was too hard, but I didn't care. He let go then, my leg dropping and my foot hitting the floor, as he reached down for my purse. Reaching in, he grabbed the strip of condoms and pulled, flinging most of the contents of my purse across the entryway. Pushing my thong panty to the side, he cupped my pussy with one hand, sliding two fingers all the way into me, as he used the other and his teeth to open the condom wrapper.

He started it on and I slid it down him while groaning as he sawed his fingers in and out of me, rubbing my clit with each motion.

"It's on," I gasped before moaning with each of his movements. His fingers were out then and he was lifting my leg back up again before putting his head against me and driving inside.

"Oh, God!" I groaned, never having felt anything so large. He'd stopped after that first thrust but then did it once more, going further in before ever withdrawing a bit and slamming back in again. "Ohhh!" I moaned as he lifted my other leg. With my back set against the wall and my feet trying to encircle him, he started pounding against me.

It wasn't long before I felt it building as he drilled me, hard and deep like a pile driver. I'd never felt anything like it so I called out, "Please don't stop, Holden, please. I'm getting close, so close."

"Don't worry, baby, I'm going to fuck you all night, you gorgeous thing."

I came moments later, crying out as I clenched his manhood and his muscles. He stopped for a moment, still holding me up in the air against that wall, before kicking off his shoes and then kicking his pants and underpants off his feet. To the bed he carried me, lowering me down and then plunging all the way in as he crashed down atop me.

I groaned, not having realized he wasn't all the way in at the wall. This almost hurt, but then he was withdrawing and coming back in and going back out...

My head rolled back as he fucked me unmercifully, the most complete pounding I'd ever experienced in my life. I'm not sure how long it took or how many more orgasms I had before he gave one last almost supreme push and groaned as he blasted into the condom.

"Fuck, Sophie, you're the best fuck ever."

"I'm not sure but I think I died and went to heaven...a few times," I replied with a laugh. "Now that I'm back on Earth, at least a little, I need to use your bathroom."

***

After we cleaned up, we got in his bed. He'd fixed a couple of drinks while I was in the bathroom; when I declined one, he tossed it down his throat and then started sipping on his own.

He kissed me, hard, and then his hands started wandering when I could have used a bit of cuddling and maybe even coddling. I was surprised that he continued being, well, almost rough, after the ferocity of our first encounter. The coarseness of his language, a bit of which I'd attributed to the heat of the moment as we fucked, continued as he told me things he wanted to do with and to me before the night was over.

While I wasn't comfortable with all of it, I almost chucked at his ambitiousness, but when he was ready to go again in less than half the time I'd guessed, I began to wonder if he really could—

Oh! He was going down on me then. Oooh!

I really enjoy good cunnilingus, where a guy knows what he's doing and knows how to play me, to build me up in a crescendo over time. Holden wasn't like that, knowing only one way, fast and hard, just like his loving.

It didn't take long for me to reach orgasm but it wasn't nearly as good as it could have been. I was ready to relax a bit, but Holden needed his turn. I moved over him but he shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, telling me to get on my knees on a pillow in front of him.

"Now, suck this cock, bitch! Suck it good."

I didn't like him calling me that but it was in the heat of the moment, he'd had a lot to drink, and I was in a good mood and wanted to make him feel good. He'd put a pillow down, too, so it was probably just an act, so I didn't say anything as I probably should have. Instead, I dropped to my knees to pleasure him.

It was as huge up close as it had felt inside but I started working on him, taking in as much as I could. He started encouraging me with more coarse words that weren't really encouraging, and then he started growling in his throat.

"Sophie, I gonna fuck your tits in a little while, but right now, aarrgh!"

I tried to take him a bit deeper so he could shoot down my throat but he pulled out then and aimed that cannon right at my face.

"Not my face! On my boobies, okay?" I said before the first blast caught me head on. I closed my eyes just in time to avoid that, but felt it hitting most everything else. I'm not sure how many jets there were, but when I wiped my eyes and what I could from my face, rubbing my hand on the sheet as he was putting the last of it on my tits.

He was rubbing them with that big head and starting to try to slide it between them when I stood up and stepped back. "Holden, you didn't have to do that. I was gonna swallow. I don't like it in my face, okay?"

He was grinning. "Chill out, Sophie. It's okay, you look great in it. Besides, I like seeing my ladies covered in my cum. It's like porn stars do it."

I looked at him, wondering if he really was playing, if it was the alcohol, or if this was suddenly the real Holden shining through. Whichever, he had to know how I felt. "Well, I'm sorry, Holden, I don't like that. I'll share, I'll do a lot to make you feel good, too, and even push my limits sometimes, but if you're not going to pay attention to what I really don't like, too, so we can enjoy this together, I'll have to go. So listen close: I won't be treated badly, I don't do anal—"

Not with his howitzer, anyway.

"—and you can spray all the spunk you want on my tits but I don't like it in my face or hair, got it?"

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that, girl. We're gonna have fun." He took my arm and pulled me into his.

I looked up at him, my face still wet and sticky from where he'd sprayed me. He kissed me on top of my forehead—deliberately I noticed, well outside his disaster zone, despite how much alcohol he'd had. "Holden, it's not fun if we're not both enjoying it and right now, I'm not. I think I better leave."

He looked at me, his face turning dark as he realized I was being serious. "Really? You're gonna walk out after what we've done so far? Before we can do so much more? I'll skip fucking your ass if you really insist on it."

"Yeah, I think I'd better," I said, feeling less comfortable with the situation and with what I was doing by the moment. "I'm not sure if this is me or my sister." I started reaching for my clothes, suddenly aware that I was naked in front of a man I hardly knew despite how intimately we'd known each other just minutes earlier.

"Your sister? Is she an as-uptight bitch as you are?"

I slipped into the dress and started tying it around me without bothering with my underwear. Time was of the essence and I needed out before the tears started flowing.

"Just forget it," I said, stuffing my bra and thong in my purse. Down on my hands and knees, I scooped up everything I could find, ID, room card, and lipstick and put them in, too. I'd gone with the bare essentials in the little purse when I packed it before dinner which was a good thing; with the bra in there, there wasn't room for more. I couldn't find the rest of my makeup and didn't bother reaching for the rest of the condoms. I grabbed my heels and moved toward the door.

"Sophie, if you walk out that door, I'll—"

I could tell he wasn't happy about me leaving. Maybe he'd learned his lesson?"

"—I'll find the bitch I found and fucked last night after you chickened out. At least she knew—"

I was out the door, slamming it hard behind me, to avoid hearing the rest.

"—how to fuck and have fun!" he called through the slowly closing door.

Fucking door closer! I screamed in my mind as I ran down the hall. Of course they'd have those things to keep doors from slamming at all hours of the day and night.

I was feeling about as low and sick at my stomach as I'd ever felt. Rather than wait for the elevator, I ducked into a stairwell and padded barefoot down three floors before stopping to sit down on a step as the tears flowed.

My little pack of tissues was one of the losses from my purse, so I pulled out my thong, folded it just right, and wiped my face, trying to make it look presentable for the walk through the lobby to my tower. The hose had sagged a bit in all of the action so I pulled up first the left and then the right, only to discover that it had ripped during Holden's wall gymnastics.

With a huff, I pulled them off and tossed them in the corner of the stairwell behind a big red pipe that was labeled "Fire Riser."

"Fuck!" I spat as I put my heels on. At least I didn't break them along the way. Standing up, I stepped over and picked up the hose. They probably wouldn't want anything flammable next to the fire riser. I almost smiled at the ridiculous thought.

Almost.

I caught the elevator on that floor moments later, and did smile when I found no one inside. However, it got worse as I did the walk of shame back to my room, having to go through the main lobby to the other tower, and then up. It felt like everyone was staring at me, and Sue's advice from days earlier didn't help a bit.

"Own it, Sophie! Make it a walk of fame rather than one of shame. Be like Beth on that cowboy show, strut your stuff and make every guy that sees you wish he'd been so lucky as the guy you were with. Make every woman that sees you wish she could have what you had."

She'd waved her hand doing the queen wave, which made me laugh and us both to break out in giggles.

Now, though, I wasn't giggling. My eyes were crying, my heart hurting at his actions and my own stupidity.

By the time I returned to my room, there were several text messages from Holden, apologizing and asking me to come back. Sue's always accused me of being a bit naive, but I'm not completely stupid. As much as I hated to admit it, I'd really screwed up in going against her advice and giving Holden my info so quickly.

I deleted his messages without reading them and blocked his number to prevent any more. Wiping away my tears, I contacted the resort's front desk and made sure they wouldn't give out my name, contact info, or room number under any circumstances.

Then I opened the first of several Peronis that night and curled up clutching my pillow to cry myself out.

***

Over the next two days, I spent too much time dwelling on what had happened with Holden and how it made me feel. While there's nothing wrong with casual sex with strangers, with no connections other than the then-and-there physical side and no strings afterward, for a lot of people (including my sister), I'd now confirmed it wasn't for me. I needed to relax, to quit thinking of Holden, of Bart, and of declaring a Sophie disaster and heading home early, which, with the Peroni all gone, led to a glass of wine on Wednesday evening (followed soon thereafter by the rest of the bottle) and a major headache the following morning.

To make matters worse, Sue started sending text messages, asking about my count. She's my sister and I love her dearly but I really, really hate her sometimes, too. Like Holden, I ignored her messages and didn't respond. Unlike Holden though, I couldn't block her number and her messages kept piling up.

I swore off men and booze for the rest of the trip around noon on Thursday when I started feeling human again. I did some more online research, but decided I really needed to get out. Wanting to do something different and take my mind off my troubles, I went back online, this time looking at local attractions that might be a fun getaway for a few hours.

First, I checked out Moody Gardens, a great attraction where Mom and Dad had taken us when we were young. However, on seeing the price of admission, I decided to skip it and save my money for my weekend plans. I could feel quite moody enough without paying that much for it.

Instead of doing that, I walked to the Galveston pier late that afternoon and saw some of the attractions without spending too much, and on Friday I spent most of the afternoon at the Bryan Museum, which featured Texas history and information and artifacts from the old west. It had opened since our last family trip some years ago so I took my time looking at things; that it was quite interesting, air conditioned, and relatively cheap made for a great afternoon.

I considered hitting the Galveston Railroad Museum, too, not because I was a train buff but because it had always been one of Dad's favorite stops when we came to the beach. He always had a family train layout that each of us kids contributed to over the years. I'd built a house, a store, and a number of trees as well as helping Dad paint some rail cars. When he died, Deke and Wally lost interest and the layout sat collecting dust for a while before Mom donated it to the orphanage over in Lesterville. When she did, I kept one of Dad's locomotives, one of the train cars I painted, and the little house I built. They're in my curio cabinet at home, very happy memories of times spent with him.

In the end, thinking about it made me sad so I skipped the trains.

***

Saturday, July 9th

Thus, over a period of a few days, I confirmed to myself that Sue's way was nothing like my way and that her way hadn't made me happy in the least. Her continued stream of messages didn't help either, even though I continued ignoring them.