All Comments on 'A Family Torn'

As an educator, I see this a few times every year. It's usually Mom's boyfriend. A harrowing tale. I hated reading it because of the subject matter, but it's a realistic peek at the sordid underbelly of divorce. Thanks for bringing up to the fore. Five stars, of course. Save something, now. You and Ohio are giving us a pretty good glimpse into why the legends are legendary. Thanks again, Randi.

With the reconciliation.

I gave this a 5 for good writing but can't sympathize with Angela for a second and do not buy the reconciliation between Tom and Angela.

She was a selfish cunt that didn't think before getting a man in her crotch as fast as she could.

Stupid bitch cared more for her crotch than her own daughter. Glad she loved getting fucked by her daughter's rapist! What a true scum!

Tom ever being civil to the bitch is not that realistic much less sticking his dick where the dick of his daughter's rapist had already fucked numerous times.

Extremely disgusted with the characters in this story though I appreciate the writing.

It was a pleasure to read your story. It has been quite awhile since quality stories have been posted in the LW's category, but there have been a couple in recent days. Thank you again.

since this is fiction can you add more heinous punishment for dayton?

I do not agree with silent sound. People are a lot more complex than his outlook would suggest. Though this is fiction it mirrors a number of real cases, of poor communication resulting in the marriage breaking down, allowing another man the opportunity to take advantage of the situation. The writing was good and it flowed well for me, however I would have ended it with the statement to lady Guinevere,

"Shut up." Let your imagination take it from there.

Rocky Marciano was not a polished fighter, yet he retired a champion. He isn't really seriously considered the greatest heavyweight champion of all time, average speed and too small at 189 pounds or so, but he was undefeated. That happened because he was relentless and kept coming forward bobbing, weaving and always setting up or looking to land a lethal right hook .

He would gladly take 9 jabs or more to land one of those power punches clean and once he did ; it was the beginning of a rapid deterioration for the opponent who knew that there was no stopping Rocky once he sensed a chunk in the armour. Killer instinct squared. No quarter asked for , no quarter granted.

laptopwriter is not a wordsmith and the story started out a treacly PSA afterschool special. In fairness to author , I'm sure he was dealing with a LOT of restrictions imposed by Literotica standards , given the dicey subject matter , critic pleasing gray areas were given short shrift .

I know multiple skilled and well-intentioned Literotica authors who quit the site in outrage trying to write a story with identical minor-abuse theme. It's a wonder the story is as gritty as it is. I liked the pacing of story which really climaxed with ring of hidden burner phone, everything after that was dispensible epilogue. Props to laptopwriter for not making Tom a plaster saint and Angela a shrill, grasping harridan.

In terms of depicting Dayton and Lana ? They were stereotypes but I'm sure restrictions had a lot to do with that. This is a flawed story but the theme is so novel for LW genre and hard work evident needed to break fresh ground , there isn't much doubt in my mind what this tale deserves.

Full marks * * * * *

Thank you.

This place is still called litEROTICA, right? I didn't care for this.

Great story LTW, a very painful & unfortunately quite realistic plot in these days. Whatever happened to physical castration, aahh if only !!!!!!

Not very PC I know but how many of these bastards just get a slap on the wrist & then repeat again. These days the crims seem to get more sympathy from the so called justice system than the victims.

I really enjoyed this, as we, the readers needed a few stories like this to balance the overwelming stream of cuck stories from all the cuck authors, just a load of shit. Sorry about that. Excellent tale - a huge 5 *****

add on unwanted stress together with a life style altering of home life, TK U MLJ LV NV

Something in the Nonconsent category.

Liked the way the Characters came out. It was something to have Dayton get Shived in the First Month. Wait until he gets Out others will be out ahead of him and No Where to Hide. I Think you should do a Story on the Character Dayton before and After the Fact.

This was a wonderful reading experience of a truly awfully dark subject matter .

This was raw emotion than dripped through the screen .

Although a different subject matter , this immediately made me think of Tx Tall Tale's "Charity Begins Next Door" . That's very high praise indeed .

I know this Wordsmith vs Storyteller has already been brought up , but who cares , this is a truly marvelous piece ! Just top notch work .

I think this will rank up with your wonderful " Last Chimes of Fall " . Is it possible to have two Opus's ???

5 *'s Easily !

Thank you for sharing .

P.S. I think there was one small plot hole , when earlier he recalls first meeting her at a bar , drawn by her laughter . But then at the end , she says she loved him since school when he stuck up for someone , Mary Ellen , I think .

Its not major , but if you were ever to publish this I just thought I'd mention it.

A well written story (apart from the odd typo). I have enjoyed reading it but feel it would fit better in a genre other than erotica. I don't understand your reservations, noted at the beginning of the story, that the subject matter might be offensive. Nothing in this story promotes paedophilia. In fact, the story I read tells of a family caught up in the effects of this horrendous criminal behaviour.

Thank you for handling such a sensitive subject in such a compassionate way.

Great story. Laptopwriter IMHO is always a good read.

Steven

Captivating and emotional, tough subject but the author hit all the key points. The reconciliation was unnecessary and took away from the story at the end IMHO. 4****

A Five Star masterpiece. I know that some will read it with a preconceived RAAC sense of dismay. However, this story provides the best reason why reconciliation is a better alternative than the couple staying stuck in the anger, pain, remorse, and grief for the rest of their lives. Everyone wins and the past can be obliterated.

This drama also shows that a well writen and patiently developed story can be produced without much graphic sexual content.

Bravo! And thank you for sharing your considerable talent with us. This one will be hard to top, in my opinion, and I look forward to that next experience. "

This is an excellent (with an E) story...And as @Crkcppr says it's as good as "Last Chimes of Fall". Are stories like this that make it worth to read stories in LW. Of course we have to walk through a lot of sludge to finally find a beautiful flower like this blooming from that mud. Thak you! 5*

Love means doing the right thing for those you love. Neither the husband or the wife lived up to that in this story. When the going got rough, they both quit on themselves and their daughter. Where was the love? You should be willing to die for your kid, so living with a bitch should be easy. You should be willing to die for your kid, so living with a narcissistic husband should be easy. No love, just selfishness. A more likely series of events is the daughter gets abused, she becomes a drug addict, the parents fight, the mother blames herself and gains 200 pounds, the father lives the rest of his life as an angry selfish man, the daughter overdoses and dies.

Check your myths, Lady Guinevere cheated on Arthur! Who the fuck wants her for a queen? I have been waiting for that story to appear - no happy ending there.

WOW!! If any one have a family and daughter (children) and don't recognize this as a great story ,can only be a supper asshole. This is great read !!! 5*****!!!!!

It had a fairy tale ending,a real tear jerker. But in real life some of the events that took place in this story would never go as smoothly as the author wrote. Catching a pedifile and getting a conviction is no easy task with tons of obstacles and pain . Most kids won't testify , it was to easy and the reconcilliation while nice , was a fairy tale ending. Personally no trial just do what the Saudis do . Cut off his hands and make him impotent.

I didn't think Dayton was the one - too obvious - but in the end it worked well. I sure do appreciate three dimensional characters who aren't just caricatures of vice and virtue. Thoughtful, well composed story. Compelling. Great to see your submissions. Thanks. *****

A very tough subject, written with care and compassion. I was fortunate to have read this story. I always kook for your work, but this one is right at the top of your talent.

Only comment I have is "please sir may we have more"

Wow! That's a fast mover.

I saw that it was 9 pages long and was worried about it dragging, and being a slogging read. Boy was I wrong. Happily wrong. Before I realized it, the story was finished.

Interesting characters that I could understand and connect with completely. An emotional roller coaster ride with a happy ending😊.

Gave you 4*s.

Thanks for the story laptopwriter.

AMerryman

This goes right into my favorites,extremly well written and about a very delicate subject,you handled it masterfully with the right amount of sensitivity very well done,

5 *****

Thanks for writing the story. It was strangely flat for such an important topic. I expected much more emotion. It was almost as if there was never any real connection with the characters. The emotion cupboard was scantily stocked and it was more like a case study. Still, it is something that needs to be said, so I gave you a four. It's a little better than that, but not a five. Certainly better than most of the sludge that gets pumped out here.

Great story. Last week I ran across your other pen name on sol and thought I haven't heard anything new in a while

So thanks for coming back in grand style

Well done.

Hard work and diligence pay off!!!!

Very well crafted and sensitively handled subject matter that seemed well researched and plausible, even if just a wee bit fairy-tale happily-ever-after-like.

What strikes me the most about these 9 pages? LTW sure worked very hard on this effort. The crafting of the various parts of this story resulting in a well balanced effect on the reader's emotions. The dignity afforded to all the characters, even share of the blame distributed.

In short, the bad guys weren't too bad, and the good guys weren't too good. And I mean that in comparison to the comic book type absurdity often found in stories like this that just HAVE to feature a villain and their tragic victim.

LTW, it is really good to have you here contributing. The work you do really DOES provide part of the reason so many so-called "haters of the genre" come back here to read (complain) everyday. They (like me) are just waiting for gems, like this and precious few other stories, that somehow DO manage to come along and appear in this forum.

Thanks so much for your contributions, and your help in making the daily search for quality lit "worth it"!

Well earned 5 stars!!!!

Great story even with the tough topic. Unfortunately this really happens and not always with a happy ending. I know myself and admire people who go through the proper channels the way they did with the authorities but I would be ok with losing everything by beating him to death and take my chances. I know it's not the right or best way but I don't think I could control myself. I'm not a reconciliation guy either especially after her living and fucking another guy but in this case I think it was well justified on both people to get back together. 5 years that scumbag would get out and that could really put a strain on the family but they'll have each other to get past it

Five stars from me and thank you for putting pen to paper or hitting the keys or whatever you did. Nice one sir, nice one.

It was a bit long, but I couldn't stop reading. This the most brilliant story on LIT!

You need an award !!

Thank you for your writing

best story I`ve read in ages

1. Good character development. That's something missing from so many Literotica "grope & stroke" stories.

2. Plausible plot development. Not once did the author resort to a miracle or "deus ex machina" (look it up ;-) ).

3. The author didn't once mention anyone's "purple swollen dick head". That's one of my pet peeves.

4. 5 *'s

...and full marks.

I appreciate you taking this subject matter on, and if anything you undersold the dad's reaction and rage by a fair margin. Of course, being able to use his fists to arrest and restrain the bastard himself went a long way to wards restoring his self-opinion and self-worth as a father...for himself as well as in the eyes of both mother and daughter.

So, definitely a story worth telling, even if the ending was a tad telegraphed.

There were some word errors and editing issues here and there, but they did not much detract from the quality of the effort overall.

If anything, this story does suffer a little bit from "after school special"-ish treatment, and a nittier, grittier, version of this could be told possibly a bit better. However, for what it is, it is well done, and if it were much more nitty or gritty it might run afoul of site restrictions here, so I'll take what I can get and be quite pleased.

Finally, it had to happen eventually!!! Most of what it's posted on the LW category is purely unadulterated crap; but eventually a gem of a story like this one comes along. It's been unmercifully a while!!

It is not perfect. The story has some constraints, but as noted in others comments I'm sure that due to the child's molestation topic Lierotica's owners put some restrictions; which most definitive impact the flow of creative writing. Nonetheless; congratulations and thanks to the author for giving us for free such a fantastic story.

My only strong objection to the story is the reconciliation. I do not think that I could go back with the ex regardless of strong feelings. In real life this does not happens very often; quite the contrary it creates a bigger rift between exes because the implied blame associated with the parent who brought in the house the pedophile; regardless of the parent's innocence about the perpetrator's intentions. But in this story the mother brought in the guy to live in her house just one month after the husband left. That would be unforgivable to most other parents in real life. And the reason why I do not think that I could go back with the ex; but, hey it could happen with other people.

A 5 *****

Sad but realistic that the daughter pays a terrible price for her parents' unwillingness to communicate. Romantic but unrealistic ending (but I did like the ending). Thought provoking five star story.

Well done!

Excellent character development, settings and plot along with good dialogue. Yes, it was an emotional roller coaster in parts. I'm a sucker for nice,loving endings.

Nice, very nice.

. . . . haven't read a good, long story like that on Loving Wives for quite a while. Intensely agonizing at first, but tremendously satisfying at last. Even brought a few tears to my eyes. Thanks for the great story. Well done! 5* for sure, and well deserved.

Sort of a mediocre story about an important societal ill. The writing is pretty average. All the raving is a bit over the top. A more realistic score over at SOL. The story is important, but the writing is just meh. I skimmed about two thirds of it.

Predictable with some parts short changed (trial and new client) but overall a good solid story. Haven't seen many of these lately.

Thx

some of the writing was sloppy with typos and tense changes in one sentence. Other than those minor problems I found it an interesting story.

I don't wanna fap to a story where the central premise is child abuse. Other than that, it was predictable with an overly unlikely reconciliation. You don't get divorced because you're still in love. Like the joke goes: Do you know why divorce is so expensive for men? Because it's WORTH it!

This happened to me many years ago

I gained full custody of my children

Did I ever consider getting back with my wife ?

HELL NO

This happened on her watch

This is an utterly non viable scenario by a very good writer.

The wife as written is a selfish ,blind individual and no man with any feeling for his children would ever wish to have any contact with her .....EVER

I like storytelling. Especially if it's a good story. Lol, I kept waiting for the plot twist to make someone else the guilty party. It still worked. A well told tale. Thanks

Solid 5* plus!

Compelling.

A very well written story that kept me engrossed.

Can't ask for much more then that.

5*

A compelling story of what can really happen without the constant vigil of both parents. Predators exist and so do people with a temporary loss of self esteem. Hard to talk to people about a problem like that when you are busy living it daily. I thought the wife was slightly selfish and a lot foolish, that is to say very human and that the husband had given his heart to the business. Now that's not a bad thing, in fact when your job is something artistic in nature it's really hard not to do that and still be successful. Too bad that in this case he did his deed while at the same time the wife became less confident in herself. Anyway, well done and as always I look forward to your next offering. Thanks for sharing your talent and your ideas.

Your writing is real

I meant to say "Really!" as in "Really good job!"

Some might say not enough development of the Dayton character. But I think it was just enough. Most of the attention was on the family with just enough on the criminal to support the story.

This is one of the best LW stories this year.

5*

Difficult subject. I must admit I had some difficulty with the wife falling so easily in love with Dayton after bringing him into the house. Even when she was aware of the danger to her daughter, she had no doubts about Dayton:

Quote: "Dayton, I love you," she assured him. "First of all I can't picture Tom ever wanting me back. Jesus, just getting him to say hi to me without including the word, 'bitch' would be a major breakthrough. And even if, by some miracle he did want to get back together, it's too late, honey. I have you now, and there's no way I'm giving you up," she told him with a big smile. Unquote. They then proceed to have sex with him in the living room with the possibility of her daughter hearing.....

Maybe too harsh but you have to question her judgement seriously. No real problem with the concept of reconciliation but more time needed to be spent on her therapy and recovery to convince this reader.

5 stas I actually cried at the end.

“All this other stuff started a few months ago." – After you moved Dayton in?

Minor edit: I don’t know if this was just a typo or not, but “gun-ho” should be “gung-ho”.

Minor edit: “sluffed off” should be “sloughed off”.

Minor edit: The head of a school is a “principal”, not “principle”.

"Well, you know him a lot better than I do, honey, and I trust your judgement." – Except that she’s too emotionally involved for her judgment to be accurate.

"A social worker...what did she tell her?" – LOL, he’s worried!

“She pretty much avoids him when she can.” – Gee, I wonder why!

I don’t understand the charges of RAAC – she never cheated, they simply fell apart.

@Crkcppr Re: plot hole – It’s possible she saw him at school, but they didn’t actually meet till that night at the bar.

Okay, you knocked my socks off. One of your best stories ever. Your tale contained everything to hold ones interest. Well developed story line. Well defined characters. Twists and turns. Various emotions to stimulate your readers. A solid feeling of pleasure at your conclusion. I could find no fault and wish I could give it more than a five. Thanks for making me smile today. BK

It takes a stupid woman that will move a man into her house when she has a teenage daughter living with her. It also takes a weak man that will forgive and reconcile with an ex wife who allowed the things that happened to their daughter. Trouble always ensues those who try to have their cake and eat it too. It was pretty obvious who the culprit was from the beginning. As a father, I would have used every asset I could beg,

borrow and steal to get my child out of that house.

Excellent story development and character development - one of the best stories on here in a long time. The whole situation is very realistic (unfortunately) and the outcome is well done. The Dalton characters punishment could have been expanded to prison laundry room castration and severe multiple beatings before being isolated and driven insane while prison inmates crap in his food plate every day. I don't care whatever else this author has written on this site but, this story was a home run and a candidate for best story of the year.

While a very sensitive subject, thank you for displaying it in a fashion that paid respect to victims and their families, without making it tawdry.

This story grabbed the reader from the outset and continued to the end.

5/5

Part of me wanted to see the boyfriend end up as a red herring but he had to be removed so the reconciliation could happen. Even though I wa pretty sure where things were headed I still enjoyed the ride.

Really nice story. Deep and full of emotions.

This happens a lot in real life. Communication problems between husband and wife. Young couples,old ones with 10-20 years spent together. Open your heart to each other.

Then Losing respect for each other. There is no love without respect.

Grettings from Germany.

Probably your best story right here. Loved the dialogue and the emotion. This story could actually be longer and more fleshed out, but it's fine the way it is too. Reconciliation was well done, but like I said, I wished it was even further developed. Anyway great job, thanks for sharing.

One Hell of a Good Story, Thank You

Every so often you come across a story that really stands out and means something. You dealt with a very difficult and sensitive topic in an excellent manner and the story deserved a feel good ending. Congratulations.

see ya Mr Spalding ....

Great story ....

I've seen this story before. It's just as good as the first time. In regards to the pedophile if this happened to my family I can guarantee that he would become Gator food.

One of the best stories I have read in a long time.

Characterisation was good, dialogue was perfect, story was valid and plausible.

Thank you.

I thought it was going to be bad. But as I got into it I liked it.

I figured out who the dude was quick.

Good story Hap.

MCPO Jim

Judging by the title, by the time I got to page eight, I kept expecting you to pull the rug out from underneath this story. Where you took it is where I wanted it to go. I like how you wrote this one. You kept things moving with different directions possible for the ending. I would give you a "KUDOS" for your effort. Most of the time in LW, BTB, happy endings do not happen. I realize in the real world that is not the case, however in the story world, "WHY NOT."

Amazing story so well written and i really felt in touch with your characters, one of the best stories i have ever had the pleasure of reading.......well done to you i hope to read more work in the same vein.

You continue to amaze me with your talent of writing a good story! Very impressive story of such a painful subject. Well written and good storytelling. I give it 5 stars and have to give it another high compliment - I will be reading this story again!

A sincere Thank You for writing and sharing.

Again have to say (yes it is somewhat borrowed from another writer on this site) please keep writing and I will keep reading!

Dayton the predator was so obvious that I thought you would pull some other asshole rabbit out of your hat, like maybe a teacher, or a friend of Dayton's, or even another woman. So there was not a lot of suspense. I appreciated the two divorced spouses FINALLY talking to each other and revealing their inner feelings. I have to say the husband divorcing the wife was so stupid and presumptuous that I kept waiting for some secret but more logical reason. In real life all mistakes go through phases and transitions, usually from a valid idea to an invalid idea to a decision to act to, finally, some stupid action. So the husband never sat down with the wife to discuss the possibility of a divorce, despite sharing a teenage daughter? I think even you couldn't figure out how to make that make sense, so you just skipped over it. You gave the wife her own stupid attack when she took up with Dayton, really giving me doubt that this woman had enough sense to be a wife and mother.

But you delivered a nice romantic conclusion, and all is well that ends well. Well, except for one fail: Lady Guinevere? Isn't she the whore who cheated on her husband with his most trusted friend, eventually causing her husband's downfall and defeat? Not a good omen for their future. I think the woman who allowed herself to be deceived and poisoned but then was saved from her coma by a prince would have been a better avatar: Snow White.

Thank you for your time and talent. And thank you for allowing anonymous comments. You got balls.

Good story - well done!

A very good read! Maybe, a might predictable in some areas, but ... I don't mind a few predictable moments. Helps to balance certain emotions!

Why was Dayton using a burner phone to send threatening messages to Lana that could give him away when they live in the same house...?

but you have several characters and I think even the narration refer to Dayton as a pedophile when there is no sign in the story that he was one, unless I missed something. A rapist and child molestor certainly, but not a pedophile.

Thanks for taking me along on this wonderful little journey. These pauses from life's stresses and strains are most enjoyable

Found a significant mistake on page 1:

principle - noun

1. an accepted or professed rule of action or conduct:

a person of good moral principles.

principal - the head or director of a school or, especially in England, a college.

I enjoy your stories but I wanted to go ahead and bring attention to this mistake before I finish reading and score and comment.

As usual and a wonderfully deep complex story. Thank you!

Killian

Truly magnificent

This was an awsome story! Believable, family oriented, and happily ever after. They don't get any better than this!

Very articulate and realistic story. An enjoyable tale, the only thing lacking was Tom taking a walk with Drayton out in the forest with a nail gun, a can of gasoline and a light, LOL. Five stars!

5 well Deserved STARS! Terrific Story Telling!

Good story . Nice read . Best part is no one needs to EAT MY USED CONDOMS. Except for the phedo . He eats them and more

Nice story. Well done. Thanks. Need to read more of your stuff!

story, well written, but it almost reads like a promo for therapy. ;-) Thanks for sharing.

In this forum tackling the issue of coerced sex abuse of a minor is a bit like jumping onto that third, electrified rail, barefoot, and dancing on it. Commenters who say it should have gone differently are saying more about themselves than your story. If it's 1% or more plausible you get to tell it and this is one plausible resolution of several different possible ones. Hollywood endings are Hollywood endings for a good reason. Nicely done.

if i understand right Tom is a moron, he is unbelibable, like stupid

thanks LTW for another well written story. thanks for sharing and your hard effort.

Again, you have scored a an A+ !!!!

Touchy subject handled well. Characters that were well rounded and likable. I found myself pulling for the happy ending and was very pleased to get it. I can see something like this happening in the real world. This story is a breath of fresh air in all the literotica world of unbelievably stupid situations being created by writers who don't seem to have any feel for human nature, sending characters off on ham handed adventures that strain our (the readers) credibility.

Once again, well done and much appreciated.

One of the best stories I've read on the site in quite a while.

For once, a story that ends we'll.. Nice job...

A really good story, belongs in a better place than here. Sadly most would have turned it into a 3 some with his daughter. Stay classy!

great story here. loved how everything worked out for the best. keep writing

Nothing more to add as the title says it all.

As for Dayton, he didn't make it to Christmas.

The end.

Had me crying at the end! For some of the commenters,yes, the daughter recovers too easily,despite what the idiot 'you pull yourself up by your britches' brigade types think, abuse like this never totally goes away, and even with help can take many years to recover, I speak to that personally, my wife was horribly abused as a child sexually by her father, we both paid and pay a price for that. This is a short story, so it was compressed. Likewise the guilt the parents would feel,anger at each other, would not go easily.

As far as the reconciliation goes,tragedy can do this, and I thought having the parents do therapy was a brilliant idea as a plot point,it makes the reconciliation that much more plausible. The story also highlights often how marriages break up over trivial things and how suspicion is fomented and left unresolved. The reconciliation was all too possible once they both could admit their part in what happened to themselves.I think it would have taken more than this too happen, angela's guilt,tom's anger at Angie over it happening, would take time...but again this is not a novel.

One thing I enjoyed was when the guys from the ad agency showed up,lw initially made it seem like maybe Dayton had some goons carrying out his threats, the secretive first phone call, the way they identified themselves as associates, and wanting to go into the back to talk reminded me of a gangster movie scene......

Sadly,the truth is even with all the focus on secular abuse the law and many institutions still treat it with kid gloves, for all the high profile cases a lot of peeps get off with a slap on the wrist. I belonged for a while to an informal support group for partners of abuse survivors, and we were surprised that our so's had similar stories,that when they told of what their father had done (most of these were incest cases as was my so's story) they were often told either they were lying, or with clergy,often Catholic priests, were told to pray for their father,bc he was the head of the household, and they never did anything to help the kid,not contact the cops, nothing.

Anyway,great talent lw,one of the best I have read on here in a while.

I have tears, just wow.

How the heck do you write to make so many emotions, up and down.

And with a feel good happy ending.

Congrats.

Finally a departure from the standard guy marries THE most outstanding, highly intelligent, beautiful women who turns into the most deceitful, manipulating round heeled sluts Imaginable. I was also very impressed that Joe photographer didn't turn out to be Dirty Harry of the camera world or Jackie Chan of shutterbugs.

Was very happy with this story and minus a couple of MINOR points (as was pointed out this is not a novel) thought it flowed extremely well.

Sugna, I have read a lot of your reviews and thoughts on writers and 2 things come to mind. First, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, just some stink more then others. Second, for all the backseat writing shit you give others, why not step up, write a fucking story yourself and show us all your damned expertise.

Silentsound, sounds like some female (species unknown) really raked you over the coals. Question is was that before or after you slapped her around. Chill out there Grog the caveman, it's a fucking made up story.

few authors here can convey emotions with such skill and nuance. your endings are never predictable, even when telegraphed from the start. thank you!