A Fool No More

Back home on Sunday afternoon, I left another message for Ashley, telling her a bit about my trip and waxing nostalgic on our scout camping trips of years ago. When the first message cut off, I called back and left a second voicemail to finish.

Unfortunately, that didn't rate a call from her either.

***

During summer, I run for exercise in the mornings before work since it's cooler, but as summer turns to fall, the days grow shorter and the temperatures in the south supposedly become more tolerable so I switch my runs to the evenings. It was on one of those evening runs a couple weeks after my backpacking expedition that I passed a young lady running in the opposite direction.

It was almost dark, so my attention was on the sidewalk and avoiding hazards or running into anyone rather than checking out anyone I passed. Passing someone, male or female, was a common occurrence and it was rare that I paid them any real attention.

This particular young lady, on the other hand, must have operated a bit differently.

"Mr. McClelland?" she called just after passing me. I heard my name and came to a stop, turning back to see her taking a step toward me. "Is that you, Mr. McC?"

That drew a more diligent look from me; the girls from Ashley's Girl Scout troop had called me that way back when. I raised a hand, my forefinger pointing up in recognition but with a decided lack of certainty.

"Brooke? Brooke Woodsen?"

Despite the fact I hadn't seen her in seven or eight years since her dad took a job somewhere out west, her grin told me I was right. Then she stepped forward and threw her arms around me.

"Oh, Mr. McC! It's so good to see you! How are you? How's Ashley? And how's Mrs. McC? Are all of you doing well?"

She'd definitely grown up since I'd last seen her, sometime around the end of 8th or maybe 9th grade, just before they moved. She was now about 5'-7", or so, 115 to 120 pounds, and, based on the full-body hug she was giving me, nicely endowed up top and quite fit. Brooke looked up at me questioningly as she continued our hug.

"Ah, I'm fine. Mrs. McClelland and I divorced right after Ashley graduated from high school--"

"I'm so sorry," she said, with a pouty look. "You two were also so cute together."

"--and Ashley graduated from college back in the spring."

"Yay! I can't wait to see her! What's she doing now?"

"Ahem, she's busy, that's for sure," I said, not wanting to admit I had no idea where my daughter was living or what she was doing for a living. She hadn't told me of any job prospects--or basically anything else--when I saw her at her graduation in May. "What about you?"

"Well...I earned my education degree at Bickford in the spring, too, and I'm a teacher at our old elementary school now. We're several weeks into the school year now and I've gotten myself established with the kids and getting there with the parents."

There was excitement in her voice and in her eyes as she gave me another squeeze, her breasts pressing even more snuggly against me. That made me realize the inappropriateness of our situation. Marvin and Kate Woodsen wouldn't appreciate it if they saw me hugging their daughter like this, so I escaped her grasp before replying, "Congratulations! Did your family move back here? Are your mom and dad okay?"

"Oh, they're fine, but they're still out in California for now, along with my big brother and his girlfriend. There's a possibility my parents will move back in a year or two if Dad can get a promotion and be transferred back here, but this was always home for me. Our older sister lives here and Grandma and Grandpa Woodsen live about an hour away so I decided to come back here to start my career. I'm sharing an apartment with Bri for now."

I'd been friends with her parents until they moved but only vaguely recalled her older sister and brother at some of our scouting events over the years. "That's great! Please tell your parents I said hello, and I'll do the same with Ashley next time I speak with her."

She frowned at me as she pulled out her cellphone and flipped it open. "What's your phone number, Mr. McC? I'll send you a text message and you can give my number to Ash and send me hers so we can get together, okay?"

I gave her my number and added, "It's really great to see you, Brooke. And welcome home. See you around."

"It's so good to see you, too!" She stepped in and had her arms around me again, pressing her breasts against me, and I responded with a pat on her back in reply. She reached up and kissed my cheek before letting go and was then off in a flash, running as if she hadn't stopped.

Shaking my head, I touched my cheek where her lips had kissed me and let out a long, slow breath. That little girl we'd once known had definitely grown up.

My run over and trying to keep from having inappropriate thoughts and an even more inappropriate response, I walked home.

***

Brooke's text message, seemingly as bubbly as she'd been, was waiting on my Blackberry when I got home. I sent her a note in reply to let her know I'd received it, sent her Ashley's number, and added Brooke's number to my contact list in case we had some reason to swap messages in the future. Last was a note sent to Ashley with the update on Brooke and her contact info. Then I took a shower and put Brooke out of my mind.

Or at least I tried.

She was way too young for me to think about but was way too cute to resist. Trying to eliminate thoughts of Brooke, I accidentally fell into the old trap of thinking of Jeanie, and my mood went downhill fast. Despite my determination to never get involved with her again, it was so easy to think of her, to remember old times, and to yearn--

"No!" I said aloud, trying to convince myself. "No more!"

It had been several months since my most recent date and nearly a year since a date had ended with more than a goodbye kiss, but now I felt that stirring that I couldn't get off my mind. While I preferred a relationship to just sex, sexual activity did have its plusses and since a relationship wasn't on the horizon and since it might get my mind off Jeanie and a young lady much too young for me....

Yes, I decided, I needed to do something about it. Dressing quickly, I headed out to a nearby bar to look for a more age-appropriate distraction.

***

Several days later, I received a text from Brooke.

Mr. McC, can we meet? I need to talk to you.

There was a hint of Jeanie's old barb in that comment, but with none of her usual antagonism hinted. Therefore, I accepted and wondered what Brooke and I might need to talk about.

We met that evening at a little coffee shop nearby, with Brooke coming up and hugging me when I entered. "Thanks so much for coming, Mr. McC. Can I buy you a coffee?"

"Says the new teacher earning new teacher wages?" I said, teasingly. "No, this is my treat. As for the Mr. McC thing, that was cute when you girls were 6 or 7 when it got started and cool, I guess, when you were, what? Twelve or thirteen? When everyone moved on and we dissolved the troop? Now though, it makes me feel like I'm old. It's just Jared, okay?"

She looked at me as if she was studying me before nodding. "Okay, Just Jared. Or, maybe Just J?"

She laughed uproariously when I rolled my eyes and said "No" before she punched my arm. "Let's get that coffee, J, ahem, Jared."

Once we were seated at the table, she asked, "Mr. McC, sorry, Jared--old habits die hard--what's going on with Ashley? Has she talked to you about me? I've left three messages and sent several texts but haven't heard a word from her. Is she mad at me or something? I know I wasn't a great friend when we moved to California, but we did write occasionally and I never forgot her. I thought, or at least hoped, we might still be friends."

Since she was ignoring me, too, I didn't have a clue but I didn't want to get into that. Therefore, I said, "No, Brooke, I don't think so. She's just really busy right now. Give her time, okay?"

I wasn't sure about that or about anything having to do with my daughter, but I wanted to reassure Brooke, to make her understand that it wasn't her own fault that Ashley was ignoring her.

"It's just I'm not sure if I should worry about her--you know, she's run off and eloped with some hunk, not for being kidnapped or anything like that, of course--or if I should be disappointed that she doesn't consider me a good enough friend anymore for her to call me back."

"Well, I'm not certain about any hunks--"

She giggled.

"--but I'm pretty sure she'll come around before too long and get in touch with you. That's just Ashley these days; she ignores me a lot, too."

Brooke gave a little huff of frustration--or maybe surrender?--that was matched by her facial expression and her eyes peering under her brow. I could see she really wanted to be in touch with her friend so I reached out and took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"It'll be okay, Brooke. Please, just give her time," I repeated, not sure what else to say, not sure what other assurances I could offer.

Her eyes searched mine for a few seconds, her mind debating, before she gave a slow nod and gave my hand a squeeze in return. "Okay, but you tell her that I really would like to get together with her. Please?"

"I'll talk to her about it the next time we speak. I promise," I replied, being careful not to include the suspected timeframe on that discussion.

We kept talking as we drank our coffee, and she gave me another big hug when we parted.

***

My daughter continued to avoid me despite several more messages over the next few weeks. I finally left the message I'd been avoiding.

"Ashley, it's Dad. I miss you, sweetheart, and I'd really like to get together with you to learn what's happening in your life but if that's too much to ask at the moment, then I guess I'll have to live with that. However, I ran into your old friend Brooke Woodsen recently. She's moved back to town and she said she'd left you some messages, too, and is starting to get worried about you. Please, Ash, she was your friend and still wants to be so give her a--"

BEEP!

"--call...."

I trailed off, with no need to say more, and hung up, hoping that Ashley would do the right thing with Brooke, even if she continued to ignore me.

Brooke, on the other hand, had been staying in touch with me every few days at first and then more frequently. I began to look forward to our texts, our calls, and the rare times we got together.

She invited me for coffee again one evening about ten days before Halloween. It started raining just as I left the house so I drove instead of walking. As I entered the coffee shop, I saw Brooke, her light brown hair looking a bit wet and darker than usual, seated at a table facing me and another young woman with her back to me. My breath caught at once. Her hair was up in a ponytail and, though wet like Brooke's, looked to be blonde, just like...

Ashley!

My heart raced as I approached, so glad to see my daughter for the first time in five months but as I neared and the young woman turned, my excitement crashed. It wasn't Ashley but she was quite pretty though her hazel-colored eyes were giving me serious scrutiny.

Brooke was up and gave me a hug before apologizing. "Sorry, it started sprinkling just before we got here and we got a little wet. Jared, do you remember my big sister, Brianna? Bri, this is Jared McClelland. His wife, ex now, led my Girl Scout troop and Mr. McC taught us how to camp. We had so much fun on those trips!"

Brooke was the youngest in her family and Brianna hadn't hung around with Ashley so I really didn't remember her well. We shook hands and they had me join them.

"Jared, I have, well, Bri and I, have a favor to ask of you."

Brianna looked a little embarrassed but Brooke was going forward full steam ahead. "There's a Halloween costume party next weekend so Bri and I are going as Daphne and Velma from Scooby Doo. Bri's fiancé was coming with us but now he's got to go out of town for a conference so he can't come--"

Maybe she read my reaction to the last-minute conference--they're usually scheduled well in advance, aren't they?--but Brianna's embarrassment grew and she put the palm of her hand on her forehead, looking down at the table in front of us. Brooke, excited, didn't notice. "Well, we were wondering if you'd come with us as Scooby?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah, we have the Scooby costume but Phil has got to go to the conference--"

Based on Brianna's look, I'd bet that Phil chickened out.

"--so will you come with us?"

Some decisions are hard, but others...

"I'm sorry, Brooke, I can't," I said without hesitation. The thought of attending a Halloween party with kids half my age didn't sound like a great idea and doing it in a full costume, a Scooby costume at that, was even worse.

Brianna sighed, relief flooding over her, and she looked away, but Brooke looked hurt and disappointed. "Please, Jared? It'll be fun."

I couldn't tell her but I honestly couldn't think of anything that would be less fun. Then she gave me that look....

***

That Saturday night, I drove the three of us and parked a few houses down the street before the girls helped me into the Scooby costume. A tan stocking that came as close to matching Scooby's coat as I could find went over my head. The costume had an opening in the neck for my face so I could see, but I really didn't want anyone to be able to identify me, either in person or on the internet if any photos were posted there.

"You don't need that," quipped Brooke as she zipped up the back of my costume. "You're going to be great!"

I rolled the stocking down anyway, my mind flashing to those yesteryears when rolling Jeanie's stockings back off after a date night always led to great times. Shaking off the thought, I pulled the hood with Scooby's head over my head and we were off. Once I agreed to that limited participation, I found and watched a couple of old episodes of Scooby and the gang; the exaggerated Scooby walk started just before we turned up the driveway.

Our agreement was that I'd go in with them in costume, stay a few minutes, and then Brooke and I would slip off so she could help me out of it and I could leave so they could have fun with their friends.

In looking at them, I felt their characters were obvious without Scooby, and both of them were even sexier than I could have ever imagined. Brianna, about the same height as her little sister, wore medium-height lavender heels and an orange-blonde wig, dressing as stylish and beautiful Daphne to a tee. Brooke, playing frumpy but cute Velma, apparently padded her bra under the yellowish-orange sweater, wore red flats, and looked as hot as hell in her dark-red miniskirt. My Scooby impersonation was just a bit of theatrical support for them so I warbled a "Scooby Dooby Doo!" to laughs and applause as we entered and a couple more times as we circulated through the crowd.

As they walked around the party, all eyes followed them, with guys clamoring around them and many of the girls probably feeling a pang of jealousy or, perhaps in some cases, lust. With my face somewhat hidden, I smiled at the thought. While Brianna was engaged, Brooke could have her choice of practically any guy at the party and most any of the girls who might swing that way.

I'd never looked at Brooke like that, with open desire, until that moment, realizing only then that I was just like most of those following her around the party with their lustful gazes. My smile faded quickly since that saddened me in a way. She was far too young for me but the jealousy I was suddenly feeling for some unknown guy who'd probably get lucky later in the evening, getting her out of that sweater while possibly having her keep on that hot miniskirt, flipping it up to see her sexy ass and pretty peach while she pretended to be on her hands and knees looking for her glasses....

It was too much, those inappropriate thoughts making me way too hot. Not wanting anyone to notice my state or to risk seeing which lucky guy picked her up, I slipped away, exiting through the back door, and headed down the street to my car.

My keys were in my pants pocket inside the Scooby outfit so I leaned against the hood of my old Chevy trying to get the costume off right there on the street. The damn zipper was in the back and got stuck as I tried to pull it down and then pull the sides apart to open it further. I wasn't working and the pullover hood with Scooby's head was flopping around in my struggles. I was about to rip the stupid thing and the stocking off my head when the blue lights came on.

***

Once he got back to the station, Officer Tindell probably had a great laugh telling the story of the idiot wearing the stocking who couldn't get out of the Scooby Doo costume. It took a little explaining that I'd come from the party (where he was heading about a noise complaint) but he let me go after unzipping me so I could show him my ID and reach my car keys. On looking at the registration proving the old Malibu was actually mine and realizing that I really hadn't had anything to drink, Officer Tindell let me go with a humorous warning to be careful about getting into costumes, or messes, unless I had a better plan to get out of them.

As I drove home, I thought about the original plan for Brooke to help me out of the costume, but my realization that I was lusting for a woman young enough to be my daughter had changed that. As for whether it was lust or something more, I wasn't sure and didn't want to think about it, so I tuned to a college football game on TV to serve as a distraction.

I was sound asleep but still sitting in the recliner with an infomercial playing on the TV in front of me when Brooke's call woke me around 1 a.m.

"Jared, hi, it's Brooke. You left without saying bye! I wanted to get a picture with you! Did you get out of the costume okay?"

"Ah, yeah, no problem," I replied. "I, ah, had someone to help me. So did you ladies have a good time?" A wave of jealousy swept over me as I thought of how it probably turned out.

"Yeah, real nice, but we're still here at the party and it's starting to break up. A couple of guys have offered us a ride but Bri turned them down flat and now the taxi company said they won't have anyone available to come get us for over an hour. Do you think--"

"Sweetheart, just hang on. I'll be there in about ten minutes. Stay inside and I'll call you when I arrive, okay?"

"Thanks so much, J. We'll see you when you get here."

It was all going through my mind, swirling like a dust storm on the Great Plains, as I drove over. I was glad to be able to help, just like I'd always told Ashley, but I questioned whether it was the right thing to do and whether I was doing it for the right reason. To make matters worse, had I called her 'sweetheart' instead of Brooke? And had she called me J? On reflection, I wasn't sure I liked any of the answers I was getting but I wanted her to be safe no matter what so I didn't hesitate about dialing her number after pulling up in front of the adjacent house.

"Hi, Brooke. I'm outside, just down the street a little way. Come down the driveway and I'll pull up to the end of the driveway to get you."

"Thanks, Jared! You're so sweet. We'll be right out."

Sweet? Yeah, I told myself, I need to keep reminding myself that I'm doing this because I'm a nice, sweet guy...and not for any other reason. Like that damn miniskirt. Or what was under it.

Brooke, giggling, jumped in the front seat next to me and Brianna, looking somewhat serious, took the back right behind her sister. Brooke told me all about the party as we made the trip to their apartment; she thought it was hilarious that so many guys tried--all apparently unsuccessfully--to pick dowdy-little Velma up, while Brianna appeared to be staring at me each time I checked the rearview mirror. When I pulled up to their apartment, Brianna thanked me, leaned forward and gave me a little kiss on my cheek, and got out. Brooke thanked me, too, before glancing out the window at her sister standing there with a rather impatient look. She turned back toward me, leaned in, and kissed me right on the lips, causing my head to feel as if it was spinning.