A Game within a Game Ch. 03A

"I don't think I want to be near you when you are in that state," Kate said, "the man I divorced had a temper, but I think you are worse."

"I'm sorry, normally I'm very quiet."

Kate then said: "But the people who are the most quiet, those you have to watch for."

"You don't have to live at my place if you feel insecure," Rob said defiantly.

"I'm sure you can behave if you want to," Kate was not impressed with his response.

"So you will still come?"

"Of course. I will get my things." Rob followed her to her room and soon she was packed and ready to go. He noticed she didn't have much to take along.

"Didn't you bring everything here?"

"No, I sold most of my stuff. I have had to start all over."

"Ok, the shops are still open. I want you to meet Carmen, maybe you have met her. She is a member of the circle, I don't know if Helena has explained it to you?"

"No, not really. She told me you would tell me. I didn't meet any of her friends, only Marion. She seems nice."

"Yes, she is, or can be. But she is an S&M Mistress, and that scares me."

"How exciting. A real Mistress. I think I would love to do a session, to see how I would react. I am very curious."

"Beware for what you are asking for," Rob remarked drily.

"But it doesn't have to be hard, you said so yourself. You don't like pain, but you like the game." Kate was somewhat confused by the tone Rob had taken.

"I like the buildup, the suspension of anticipating events that maybe are going to happen. It's a bit difficult to explain. Like what Marion did to me, she warned me days before the actual event that something was going to happen. You then let your imagination, sense of fantasy, to wonder what will happen, to anticipate it. Now I can imagine me with a beautiful mistress whom I'm going to serve, and if I don't do it well, for example, I get spanked."

"I think I understand. It's like you are saying to me: 'this evening I'm going to fuck you, I want you to dress up nicely for me'. So I have to put on nice things and wear it almost the whole day, waiting for what is coming, and getting hornier and hornier in anticipation."

"Exactly, you used the right words."

They walked downstairs. Rob pointed to the basement.

"I told you about the plans Helena and I had," Rob said and continued "to build our own dungeon or whatever you want to call it. I prefer playroom, dungeon seems so 'harsh'. But still, I will have to work out details, and I want to build an atmosphere of suspense about it. Thus, maybe a dungeon after all, but also a classroom and a boudoir, well, use your imagination. There is plenty of room below the estate. We have found out that the room behind the wine cellar, used in the past as storage, is perfect for this goal. The servants are not allowed to come in the wine cellar, Helena always picks out the wine for herself, so we will have complete privacy."

"Sounds good. I will ask Marion when she is back to play with me, or you Rob?" Kate said this eagerly, surprising Rob.

"No, I'm not a dominant, no way. And, we don't have a playroom at this moment, Marion had one at her house, but dismantled it after our 'disagreement' when my bitch of an ex wife set me up. But, if you stay here, you get plenty of opportunities in the future."

"And Helena?"

"She is learning, but I think she wants to learn with me at this point and won't take on other people. Time will tell. At the moment I don't want to do anything, and you know why."

They decided to leave. Rob carried Kate's belongings to his car and soon they drove off to his place. At arrival they noticed a sign 'For Sale', at the apartment below his house. Rob didn't think twice, he took off the sign and brought it to his apartment, together with Kate's belongings.

"Make yourself comfortable," Rob said, "I'm going to make a phone-call" and soon he talked to the real-estate broker and managed to get an option for the apartment below.

"So you want to buy the whole house?"

"I think it is good to have a place where you can withdraw, if needed. And we are able to afford it, so why not?"

They made their dinner together, and it felt natural to Rob. Kate was herself being with him. He secretly glanced at Kate and knew that he always would cherish her.

Rob gave the dogs their food and while the dogs were eating, their own dinner also was ready and for the first time since Jenny had left him, Rob felt that his house had become a warm and cozy place again, a real home.

Changes

A week went by, a week in which Kate and Rob become close, yet Rob tried to keep his distance for his own good. Kate understood it, but didn't like it at all. They ate together, slept together, fucked and had a great time with each other. Still she knew something was missing, and she couldn't point the finger at what was wrong.

At last she decided to ask Rob what was bothering him.

"I never thought I would admit it, while you are here, but I miss Helena more than I ever thought. You have a special place in my heart, but..., you know," Rob said.

"I understand, you have built up a special relationship, and you are closer to her then you will ever be with me. In short: you have found your soul mate. It is a word what is easily used nowadays, but when you really find someone, you treasure her - or him," Kate said with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry Kate, my heart belongs to Helena, and that will always be. Last time she didn't treat me well, but it was a mistake, I realize she thought I would like it. It was our mistake by not negotiating when playing BDSM games and making it consensual. So, I'm also to blame, we have to communicate better."

"I will leave tomorrow Rob. If I stay too long, I will be hurt too much, and I have had my share of hurt; enough for a lifetime."

"Please stay for a couple of days more, search for a place of your own and from there you can build up your life again. You will always have a safe haven here or at the estate."

Kate looked at him "I'll accept your offer, but as soon as I find a place of my own...."

"Of course," Rob said, "Then you will be living on your own. But accept our support, and whenever you feel lonely, you can always come back. You are part of the circle. No, more, you are the only 'normal' woman I know, and you are also my sister in law, and I sure did my best not to fall in love with you."

Kate kissed Rob "Thanks love, but I think I will seek out a man of my own, I only hope he will have a good and friendly character."

"Just take your time, don't rush. You are still young. Look at me, I never thought I would meet a woman like your sister, and in my case, from something bad I got something very good."

To make a long story short, Kate stayed with Rob for two more weeks and then she moved to a small village in the area, and Rob helped her with moving.

In the meantime his house was being re-arranged. Rob moved all his clothes and other stuff out of the three bedrooms and had stuffed them in the bedroom which they didn't use, and within two days he had three complete newly decorated bedrooms. New beds, new wardrobes, new carpets and curtains, even new blankets and cushions. Helena had picked out the style: romantic French, soft white with trim, feminine and warm. The lighting had been changed as well, soft indirect light made their bedroom into a very warm place. While installers were busy with the bedrooms, he also let them rebuild his bathroom, the simple unit had been replaced with a larger tub, so when needed, four people could sit in the bath. There was hardly enough room left for other furniture, so he had removed the built-in cupboard; and a new lavatory, sink and bidet completed the bathroom. After all, he would be the only male; and three women would soon make their appearance.

While the installers were busy, he slept on the couch, had long walks with his dogs and visited Kate now and then. Every time when he was at her place, he sensed the pain of loss, but they both knew, they had to let go and so they did. Rob pointed her at online dating programs and maybe, she could find a new friend and start to rebuild her life there. Kate also found a job, to keep her occupied; she didn't really need the money, because Helena had given her enough to live on without worries.

Finally the day came, that Helena, Kim and Marion returned.

A new beginning

Rob and Kate traveled to Heathrow with two cars, to pick up the women. Rob had been called from New York to make sure he had enough space in his car (and Kate's) to bring along their entire luggage. When they finally stepped through customs, and Helena, Kim and Marion saw the two of them, Helena ran to him and fell into his arms, covering him with kisses. Then Marion followed, who did the same, and finally Kim who kissed him even more passionately. Rob knew at this point that his family was home again. Kate wasn't forgotten, she too had her share of kisses, and while Kim hadn't met Kate yet, they immediately seemed to like each other. Then the porter showed up with all their luggage and Rob didn't know whether to cry or to laugh, because of the so many suitcases they had brought with them.

"What's all this?" he asked Helena.

"A few presents and we bought some new clothes," and she smiled wickedly at him.

"I hope you had a good time. We had, didn't we, Kate?" and he smiled at her.

Kate smiled back with a sad smile "Yes we had, it's good to have you back," and she hugged Helena again.

Helena looked with asking eyes at Rob, who shrugged his shoulders, enjoying that he had made Helena uncomfortable a bit.

"To your house?" he asked Helena.

"It's your house too, but yes," so they headed to Helena's estate.

At arriving they all helped in carrying the bags and suitcases inside, and soon everybody was sitting in the living room. Helena, Kim and Marion were all glad to be home again. To go on holiday is nice, but it's even nicer to go home again, or so declared Marion.

Since it was still early, Rob ordered coffee for them all, and then everybody started talking.

After an hour or so, Kate said she had things to do, and kissed everybody goodbye.

Rob and Helena accompanied her to her car and thanked her. Suddenly Kate started to cry, and Rob took her in her arms and comforted her. Helena had a pretty good idea what was going on and said "You can always visit us Kate, I'm not the jealous type, if you really need a shoulder to cry on, you can have mine or Rob's." And Helena whispered to her "If you need a good fuck you are also welcome," and these words seemed to help.

Kate quit sobbing and asked Helena "Really?"

"On appointment," and she smiled at Rob, "Rob is not a machine, it has to come from both sides."

"Kate also would like to try a session sometime, I said Marion probably would be the best person," Rob said.

"Are you sure Kate?," Helena asked, "with your history of abuse...."

Kate said "Maybe it would help to forget, and maybe I would dislike it, I want to try it sometime, though."

"We'll talk almost daily," Helena said, "I will ask Marion and as soon Rob has some equipment and so on installed, we will try to do a session with you and Marion."

"Yes Kate, as I told you, Marion has nothing left, and we have to fix things here first. Maybe in a month we can do something. But I trust you will visit us every week? Or Helena and I could visit you if you would like that," Rob said.

Then Kate kissed Helena and Rob, and off she went.

"I was afraid this would happen," Rob said.

"I know, but she'll get over it. You gave her what she needed, and in a couple of weeks, when she is really settled, her mind will come to peace and she will understand. And like you said, when the need is high, she can always come back. But now it is my need that is high, Rob," and Helena looked him deep in the eyes and kissed him. Rob kissed her back and held her tight.

"I'm so sorry also dear. I overreacted, I admit that, but I was so pissed off and felt so humiliated, that I was thinking that I had made a big mistake in trusting you and Marion again. In fact I am almost convinced that I can't trust anyone anymore, except for these ladies." Rob hugged Inca and Nicky.

"Yes, they are real friends Rob, I know." She stroked his dogs. "And I'm sorry too; I thought you liked the little game."

"Absolutely not, and don't you do that ever again. I really was on the brink of destroying your room; I already figured out how to get loose, you would have had a water disaster, but I didn't care anymore. So don't bring me into situations without consulting me first ever again!" Rob said with a harsh voice and now he was once again very angry.

Helena took a step back and with a soft voice she said "I already apologized, what else can I do?" She looked hurt and confused at the harshness of his tone, she didn't expect that.

"Learn from it!" and with big, heavy steps Rob went back into the estate again to join the others. Helena followed and once she was inside he said: "I'm going home now. You all have your own cars, so you don't need me," and he gave Kim and Marion a slight kiss, said goodbye to Helena, and took his dogs with him and he was gone. They heard him drive off fast down the driveway and then he was gone.

Marion, Kim and Helena looked at each other, Helena was very upset, she never expected this to happen.

Helena said almost crying: "I don't think he is over it yet, when he thinks about it, he becomes very angry. He told me he felt really humiliated, and that is very bad. But what can I do otherwise then to apologize?"

Kim said "You need to earn his trust again, it will be hard, but eventually you will. And unfortunately while I had nothing to do with what happened, he thinks I am on your side, and blames me also. I don't like this situation at all."

"Neither do I," Marion said, "We'll just follow your original plan Helena, if he doesn't want to come to us, we will move in with him. Right, girls? Maybe if he is in his own house, where he feels safe, the memories of what happened won't be as strong."

Both Kim and Helena agreed, so Helena and Marion packed their belongings, and drove off to Rob's house. Kim first went to her own place, and would join them later.

At arrival at his old house, Rob was still feeling pissed off. He thought had learned how to deal with his anger, but his rage had come back. He remembered how alone he felt when he was chained, his anger and pain that night. He felt the emotion of that night, of being on his own again, and the fact that he had put his trust in someone he thought would never hurt him, and then to be betrayed again, was something he couldn't deal with, several months after the incident had occurred.

The moment he arrived at his home, he went for a long walk, figuring maybe he could cool off. By now he was used to walking alone, and his dogs seemed to understand his mood, they walked close to him as if they were saying 'boss, we are here for you'. Still Rob's anger rose, he was mad at himself, and promised himself one thing then and there, that never would he let a woman in his heart again. Helena and all the others would probably try to make it up to him, but he didn't want to get emotionally involved again. He decided to sleep alone, if they were coming or not, they could tempt him, but he would sleep in another bedroom no matter what. He felt better when he made that promise to himself. And if they felt hurt by his freezing them out? Even better, he thought.

After an hour's walk or so, he came back and the women were in their cars, awaiting his arrival. He unlocked the door, and soon they came all in, all bagged and sacked. Rob didn't look too friendly, but clearly they expected that, ignored him and went straight to the renewed bedrooms.

He heard them talk "You have a nice bedroom Helena, very inviting," and heard them laugh.

Rob closed the door, he couldn't stand it now, and wanted to ignore them. He thought about going out again with his dogs, but decided he had to deal with them sooner or later.

A few minutes later they all joined him, and Marion immediately started making dinner, she had brought along a bag with all kinds of food, while Kim took a whiskey and offered Helena and him a glass. Helena accepted it, but Rob refused, he wanted to have his head clear.

Helena opened the conversation "I think it is time we will live in your house for the coming period. I think moving in with you will accomplish two things. For one, it will give you time and space from the events that unfortunately happened in the mansion, and secondly, we will crystallize our plans on renovating our house [the mansion] and I want that to be all done before we move back there".

Helena looked at his face, Rob expected this of course. He still had a sour face.

"Are you going to stay angry at us all day? I don't care, we are planning to stay here until the structural alterations are ready, and so you'd better get over your anger; and deal with it. Call me names, curse me, whatever, and then forget it, you'll make it easier on yourself and for all of us," Helena said indignantly.

"Keep going on like that and I will throw you all out," Rob grumbled.

"You can't, we are married and I have every right to be here," Helena said with a soft smile. "Please talk about your feelings."

"Feelings? I have no more feelings. I was betrayed once again, when I thought you would never do that. You ignored my asking to be released; so did Marion. You thought it was a good joke, while you knew I wasn't in the mood. In fact, I was sleeping and you decided that I didn't belong in the bed anymore," Rob now was getting furious again. "You know what? Tonight nobody is welcome in my bed! Nicky, Inca, come on, I don't want to stay here," and he took his coat, whistled for his dogs and out he went.

"Let him go," Kim said, "let him cool off. He is reliving the whole happening and his anger is the same as at that time. He was traumatized by it, I don't have another word for it. Physically he is OK, but he endured too much during that time, emotionally he is a wreck."

"I will talk to Cathy," Marion said, "maybe she has some answers or suggestions for us going forward." They all agreed, and what was supposed to be a pleasant evening, ended up with the three of them sleeping in one bedroom as Rob slept in another.

The next morning it seemed pretty normal, Rob didn't say much, but he also didn't ignore them. He gave answers as they talked to him and even made them breakfast.

But Helena knew he wasn't his old self.

"Rob, be honest with me. Do you still love me?" Helena asked.

Rob looked at her for a moment and said "Yes, but I don't trust you anymore. You have hurt me too much. I have made myself a promise." He didn't explain himself further.

Helena asked "What promise?"

"I won't tell you, but it has to do with trust."

"So you don't trust me anymore?" Helena asked.

"I told you, I won't tell, I made myself a promise, and because I did, it doesn't matter anymore if I trust you or not, it is not important."

Marion and Helena looked at each other, they couldn't make out what he meant.

Kim said "Maybe you should talk to Cathy, Rob. She knows you better than you think, and maybe she can help you heal, restore some of your old feelings. To be honest, I don't recognize you like this, I had nothing to do with that incident, and yet still you ignore me. I am being hurt by you at this very moment, you won't even look at me. Whatever have I done to you?" and now Kim started weeping.

Rob felt guilty, but still did nothing and finally said "You are not in my camp. You went on holiday with Marion and Helena, while you knew I was hurting, not them. I had to sort things out by myself, without a friend. In fact, I had to 'entertain' Helena's sister. You all probably thought that if I would do that, my mind would be distracted? Sorry, no. I had to be distance myself from her, otherwise she would have been heartbroken. She has been a friend, but I had to keep my distance."