All Comments on 'A Game within a Game Ch. 01'

Loved this story. All I want in life is a woman like Helan and she does not have to be rich.

You do a fine job of writing in English and show a good understanding of the language. Your themes and descriptions are a joy to read!

Your story is well written. The characters are well developed. I often enjoy cross dressing and feminization stories, so no problem there. My difficulty here is that I strongly dislike Jenny and Marion. To me, they are snake in the grass manipulative people. I understand you are presenting Rob as wanting, or at least not objecting to this. I can't get past how they are doing it. The way they word things, the manner in which they say it. Going behind his back so much at the begining-that does not bode well for the future as human nature is to push the limits further and further. I don't know if I will read more as the only reactions I felt were anger and frustration. I'll not vote as it is not fair I do so. I am also certain this story will completely appeal to many. I hope they read, comment and vote for it.

The story has many word or spelling errors plus miss name error like this one on the last page. Marion then took the lower part of his bridal gown, turned it over his head so Rob's face was covered with satin and lace. I think you mean Helena not Marion.

In the story you talk about love and trust. Jenny seemed to be a lesbian or may be bisexual. But she broke the marriage vows having sex with Marion. Lied to Rob and got a very large dildo to use on Rob. She knew he did not want large dildos to be use on him. She had to plan ahead on using it on Rob and what it would do to him and what his reaction would be. Holly's love for Rob turned to hate. Jenny probably had some influence on that. Jenny and Holly left the cellar when Rob was untied because they both knew what his temper would be like after he was used. The worst was Marion who had to know that with her using the bullwhip on Rob, would destroy what love their might be between them. Marion knew that Rob was furious after she released him from the beating. For the three women Marion, Jenny and Holly there was no love for Rob nor trust as well. He was treated as bad as could be by them. The only problem is that Helena is not being as truthful to Rob as she should be. But Rob will find out later on. He should have found another woman instead of Helena who is not into S&M like Marion. When the woman that Rob meets say trust me, watch out for the lies that will follow.

I am male by the way and enjoy having my wonderful wife apply a few strokes of a light piece of wood to my rump. In fact I would love it even more if she were less gentle. BUT

I have Never ever seen a woman wearing high heels whilst hanging out the washing.

And wearing 6 inch heels while carrying suitcases up stairs on a soft carpet is likely to put you in hospital.

As a cross dresser , who loves women, I get tired of other mens involvement ,making it bi.I was fortunate to enjoy many women as we dressed together to have sex.Thank you

I am a cd/tv and appreciate and enjoy a femdom relationship. what happened to Marion, and Jenny? I think I would have been shaking all the way to the alter to Helena. too long though, cast of characters as long as "Battlestar Gallactica". don't get me wrong i did enjoy it, keep up the good work.

loved it. I'm a cd also, and have enjoyed a good relationship for a number of years. I've tried bi, but found there is much more love on the fem side of the species, but more trickery.

having read this story before, I know Marion is an experienced Dom, as such, knowing his seed was spoiled, should have changed the game from there on, and that's not even taking into account that jenny had an extra big strap on, let alone ridicule him. S&M can be great, between a Dom and sub, where both get a lot out of it. Helena could have left his seed alone, and he may have had a very pleasurable experience, but we'll never know.

I don't know how many times I have read this story, and it still gets to me. I think that Rob is a bit of an Asshole in some respects, as he could have clipped his shins and be in just as much pain, and not complain, or scuffed his knuckles and not be such an ass as he was. His realization that Marion may have been the cause of her husbands death, was probably right. Where's the love?

I liked this story because the plot was driven by the characters, all in the service of a few strong, consistent themes. That takes skill in writing any form of fiction, but it's really a special treat to find it in erotic fiction, most of which features cardboard characters, a predictable plot (if any), and no concept of any theme beyond sex.

I especially enjoyed the very humanly flawed natures of the three main characters -- Rob, Jenny, and Marion. If any of them had been completely evil or completely good, the story would not have been able to explore the themes it did. They are like the rest of us -- they want to love and to be loved, and can only learn through trial and error how to accommodate other people to make that possible. Rob ultimately learns, and tragically, Jenny and Marion do not.

You not only explored your main theme very thoroughly (loving wives), you also did a great job of exploring the submissive's thoughts, feelings, and inner conflicts in a BDSM relationship. That's a complicated topic, and Rob was a good vehicle to develop it.

Finally, I was glad to see a theme developed that I've been thinking about recently -- the intricate dance among physical pain, emotional pain, pain as pleasure, and pain as abuse. I appreciated that you didn't try to give a simplistic answer to this complex question, but rather offered the reader food for thought.

Whilst I have enjoyed cross dressing for as long as I can remember, I have never been strong or confident enough to tell my wife. Whilst the main story involving Marion & Jenny scared me a little, I do feel like I would like to experience that but maybe in the company of Helena & her friends. I may have have to leave this story open on my computer & see if my wife stumbles across it!!

Thank you, great story!!!

This story features fully realized characters, only too human in their mistakes and responses to the mistakes of others. I found myself so often saying, "why didn't he noticed the implication of what she just said," or "why couldn't she see what he was really saying?" Just like real people! I wonder why Rob made up with Helena so easily, but then, that's exactly what I do with my wife. The arc of the plot is solid and well told. The BDSM scenes felt realistic, not fantasy. I've read the entire series through, and I cannot help it, I must immediately read again. While your English is clearly a second language, that is not a barrier, and frankly your writing style more than corrects for minor issues.

Interesting concept with a few little twists. I know you mentioned that English was not your first language but a good editor could solve almost all of the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

I think that Rob made a few valid points especially about safe words and extreme pain. It is totally unforgivable that a Domme should ignore a safe word. The use of safe words is sacrosanct and her position of authority has been totally compromised.

Secondly, he set limits to be adhered to in the scene and she ignored them. She is extremely lucky to have got away with that sort of behavior.

You being a non english as a primary speaker, I can hear your accent when I read your story! Adds to the eroticism!