A Gift in Disguise Ch. 16

After a few minutes, my fingertips barely were grazing her nipples. Each touch, a slow and light caress, caused her breathing to get a bit jerky. Still we sat relatively quietly as more time passed.

Then, Sharon unexpected said, "Tommy, pinch and pull them." She said it with an urgency that surprised me given her calm dreamlike state that preceded her request.

I did as she requested using my thumbs and index fingers on both nipples. My first pinch was just enough to hold each nipple while giving them a light, slow tug.

"Harder, baby! It's coming!"

She didn't even wait for me to respond. She reached up with her left hand, placed her thumb and index finger over mine, and pinched on them to increase my pressure on her swollen nipple. Then she pulled outward, causing her nipple to stretch outward far more than I would have thought she could bear.

Even from behind I could see her face reddening and contorting from the combination of pain and pleasure. She was controlling me for her own pleasure.

What happened then was even more unexpected.

With her right hand, she forcefully snatched my right hand from her right breast and plunged it into the hairy wet mass between her legs. With her right hand on top of mine, she hurriedly guided my middle and ring fingers to her swollen outer lips and forced them into the wet squishy warmth.

Her orgasm hit, punctuated by a roar of vocal release from her mouth and an intense contraction of her cunt muscles around my fingers. At that instant, I felt her left thumb and index fingers clamp down even tighter on mine. Her power was transmitted to her left nipple, and her body became orgasmically rigid. I felt the familiar orgasmic convulsion forming inside her as it came to the surface and displaced her rigidity.

Sharon rolled to the side so quickly that I was unable to let go, and I rolled with her. Her body continued to convulse in pleasure, her muscles relaxing momentarily, then retightening as another cum wave rippled through her.

Finally, with one last forceful but brief series of orgasmic contractions, her body went limp. Her breathing was in gasps, but it soon began to become more rhythmic.

I had released her left breast at the instant her own grip on my left hand had relaxed. After a few more seconds, I was able to gently withdraw my right hand from the flowing wetness of her pussy.

Sharon was lying on her front, her head facing away from me.

I rolled slightly away from her and onto my back. Though I had not orgasmed, my erection had begun to recede.

We lay there quietly for maybe three or four minutes, then Sharon rolled slightly so she could face me. Her hair was completely disheveled. Her face was blotchy red, wet with perspiration causing her makeup to run. And yet, she was absolutely beautiful.

Weakly and with great effort she could only whisper, "Rain check?" Seemingly unable to move anything but her eyes, she jerkily looked toward my now-flaccid penis. In what must have been a Herculean effort, she forced a weak smile as her eyes fluttered closed into a orgasm-induced sleep I suspected would last for hours.

"Of course," I whispered into her ear as I brushed the hair from her cheek and kissed it.

She was already asleep.

I got up, covered her so she would not get chilled, then dressed and gathered my photo book, the SD card, and the zipper case, and headed down the stairs to my car.

It was still daylight. I glanced at my cell phone clock: 5:15 p.m.

I sat in my car in her parking lot for about fifteen minutes to make sure I was able to drive. While I was waiting, I hit my cell phone's speed dial button for Lorraine Theriault's cell phone.

When Lorraine answered after obviously having my name pop up on her phone's caller ID, she immediately began complimenting Kim and me on our presentation to my master's committee. Jamie had called her right after the presentation and filled her in.

My thanking Lorraine for the compliment must have sounded far worse than what I was feeling, because she said, "Tom, is something wrong?"

Rather than go into a long-winded explanation on the phone, I just asked her if I could make an appointment with her as soon as it would be convenient.

"Were you wanting to come over right now?" she asked, her voice reflecting genuine concern.

"No, but anytime either tomorrow or Friday would be great if you can squeeze me in," I answered.

"How about 9 a.m. tomorrow?" she asked quite seriously.

"That's perfect. Thank you, Lorraine. I'll see you tomorrow at nine."

Only after disconnecting with her did it occur to me that my unusual brevity might have unnecessarily alarmed Lorraine.

After getting home and showering, I didn't really feel like eating, so I took an hour or so to think through the things I wanted to talk with Lorraine about. Then I went to bed.

Though I probably did sleep, it seemed to me as if I tossed and turned all night thinking about what I needed to speak with Lorraine about.

Thursday morning Lorraine greeted me at her front door. Her attire and demeanor was all business.

After closing the entry door behind me, she said, "You look terrible. Like you haven't been sleeping."

Almost as an afterthought, she asked, "When was the last time you ate anything."

I had skipped dinner after getting home from Sharon's. It also occurred to me that I had skipped any breakfast this morning.

"Well, we'll talk in my office, but first, let's go into an exam room. I want to do a blood draw for some labs and also check your heart, lungs, and BP."

Lorraine is a registered nurse in addition to having her PhD in psychology, and throughout our relationship, she has insisted on keeping meticulous health records on me to see if they ever reveal anything about my 'gift.'

After checking me out in the exam room and finding no obvious problems, she said, "Instead of my office, let's go back to my kitchen. I'll fix something for you to eat. You'll feel better and think more clearly, too."

She put a fruit plate, some dry toast and honey, and a cup of tea in front of me. She wouldn't let me start talking about my reason for wanting to meet her until after I had eaten. She had been right. I felt better and was thinking more clearly.

"Good. Now, bring your tea and come up to the office so we can talk there."

Once we were there and seated comfortably, she behind her desk with her notepad and pen and me in the comfortable chair across from her with my notes, she said, "Now, how can I help you, Tom." Her voice was remarkably reassuring and comforting.

For the next half hour or so I recounted in as much detail as I could the visit I had with Sharon Madison just a day earlier.

My greatest focus was on Sharon's observations about how my own sexual development had been encouraged by my mother rather than my father; how my father's loss of sex drive had affected my mother's masturbatory behavior and had led Mom to a long and continuing sexual relationship with Sharon Madison; how my mother had participated with Sharon in watching Sharon's sons Cody and Teddy engage in homosexual acts together; how my mother was aroused watching me masturbate, though I hadn't realized she had been watching; how Sharon Madison had engaged in consenting sexual relations with her son Teddy; and how Sharon had hoped I would consider a sexual relationship with my mother Erika.

Intertwined in that discussion had been Misako's photos of me and their effect on several women who viewed them including Lorraine. Lorraine had seen the photo book before Geri, so Lorraine had not yet seen Geri's drawings of the female me she saw in the pictures. Peripherally I expressed some concern that I was feeling not only a friendly attraction to Misako but also possibly a sexual one.

Lorraine sat and listened quietly and attentively. She made only a few notes, seeming more interested in watching me and listening intently as I spoke.

When I finished, my first thought was that Lorraine seemed almost unsurprised at the revelations I had offered.

"Tom, perchance did you bring Misako's photo book and the SD card with the artist's sketches of the feminine you?"

When I told her they were out in my car, she suggested I walk out and get them while she thought about all I had told her.

In less than five minutes I was back in Lorraine's office with the decorative box containing the photo book and the SD card. Lorraine suggested I set the box and its contents aside for the time being.

After I was comfortably reseated, she responded with her thoughts to my discussion with Sharon Madison.

"Tom, based on what you've told me, I'm assuming you're wanting to talk about Sharon Madison's advice concerning some kind of sexual intimacy with your mother.

Since I've never met your mother, your late father, or Sharon Madison I can't make any comments or observations directly of their behaviors. I need to rely on you to tell me how you interpret what you learned from them.

How accurately do you think Sharon has assessed your mother's present health and feelings, particularly her present sexual needs?"

"Sharon and her husband, Leonard, have been Mom and Dad's friends and next door neighbors since before I was born. Their first son, Cody, is one year older than I, and their second son, Teddy, is the same age I am. Teddy and I were in the same class in school from kindergarten through our graduation from high school. The Madison family has been very close friends of my family for as long as I can remember.

Sharon is a little wild and sexually very free-spirited. But when she was talking with me yesterday about Mom, that wild Sharon was completely replaced by the Sharon really concerned about Mom. I think the good side of that is that she and Mom have been so close for so long - evidently even closer than I realized until yesterday - that I think Sharon may be even more in tune with Mom's health and needs than Dad was. Point is, if Sharon sees something going wrong with Mom, I believe her.

I have to admit that I was completely in the dark about Mom's sexual thoughts and life until yesterday when Sharon dropped it all on me and suggested I might be able to help Mom - if she even needs help. So having said that, there's no way I can know how accurate and complete the information Sharon gave me yesterday was. But like I said, I really trust Sharon to look out after Mom's best interests."

"Would it be fair to say Sharon's revelations shocked you, Tom?"

"No, I don't think so. They probably should have, but for some reason I felt more relief than shock or even discomfort."

"Relief? From what? What had you been seeing or feeling that hearing your mother was having sex regularly with your next door neighbor gave you relief from? You learned your mother Erika and that neighbor Sharon had been watching your friends Cody and Teddy engaging in sibling homosexuality, and you learned Erika had secretly been watching you masturbate and had fantasized about having sex with you herself. What did learning all that give you relief from?" Lorraine asked.

"Lorraine, I don't know exactly. I suppose that somehow, some inner sense was telling me that Mom was sexually unfulfilled. But I don't know how I would have come to that conclusion."

Lorraine said nothing in response, but her facial expression suggested I already knew the answer and that eventually it would come to me.

I went on, "I absolutely believe Sharon was trying to be completely honest and helpful with me yesterday. It was genuinely difficult for her to lay it all out for me, but I believe her intentions were first and foremost to help Mom. Having that talk with me had to be really difficult for Sharon."

"That's a very reasonable assessment, Tom. From your earlier narration of your conversation with Sharon yesterday, I heard that same concern and caring for your mother rather than anything self-serving for Sharon or her husband.

In fact, Sharon told you a lot of things about her own behaviors that would cause her to be ostracized in most Western societies, ours included. For that reason alone, there doesn't seem to be any benefit for her to completely fabricate or even just exaggerate the events she recounted to you.

Most significantly, I didn't hear any regret from Sharon in describing her own sexual interactions with your mother, her own sons, or you.

So, with those observations in mind, I'd like to suggest, Tom, that you and I not try to get deep into the psychobabble. I'd rather we just see if we can come up with some common sense considerations for you and your mother.

It was incest in its worst form, intrafamilial child sex abuse, that I saw as a pediatric hospital nurse that got me started toward my PhD in psychology. Like many people, I assumed all incest was alike and all of it was bad, bad, bad.

But - and this is a big but - the danger of lumping all intrafamilial sexual intimacy between consenting adults under the term 'incest' is that it tends to criminalize certain behaviors that could make that sexual intimacy beneficial in some circumstances. To their credit, your mother and her neighbor Sharon discussed that as intelligent adults when they were observing and even being personally stimulated by watching Cody, Teddy, and your sexual behaviors.

Having been my client for many months now, you know that I am willing to deviate from acceptable societal and professional norms when it comes to assessing and helping a client achieve his best interests.

It's very obvious that Erika and Sharon made a distinction between harmful incest that is forbidden by law and what might be called beneficial incest of the type Sharon had with Teddy. And I believe you said you know a young adult woman, Geri, who has a similar relationship with her father.

In both cases I believe you said the parent-offspring sexual relationship was initiated by the adult child, Teddy and Geri, with the respective parent. But you also indicated that there was also a serious emotional component to the relationship; it was not exclusively for sexual pleasure.

Fortunately, a few behavioral scientists and medical doctors as well are beginning to collect and analyze data from the dearth of reported cases of beneficial or therapeutic incest. Our hope is to better determine if beneficial or therapeutic incest is, in fact, either beneficial or therapeutic or both.

We also hope to learn more about the participants in order to determine when beneficial incest might be appropriate. Logically, for the time being it may need to be a last resort when no other solutions are available or when socially and medically acceptable solutions are shown to be likely more harmful.

What I heard in your recounting your conversation with Sharon from yesterday was astonishingly similar to the line of thinking behavioral and medical professionals are developing to assess when incest between consenting adults may be appropriate. It sounds as if your mother Erika and her neighbor Sharon and your friend Geri and her father have been out in front of the rest of us.

The question I have for you, Tom, is do you feel that you're ready emotionally to discuss your mother's sexual needs with her and to help her fulfill those needs if that is what you both conclude would be best for her?"

I didn't answer right away, and I don't think Lorraine was really expecting me to.

She continued, "Tom, was there ever any time when you thought about having sex with Erika? Before your talk yesterday with Sharon, I mean?"

"I'm sure I must have," I answered honestly. "If you're asking whether I've ever fantasized about having sex with Mom to make her and me cum, I'd have to say 'no.' I've never masturbated while fantasizing about sex with Mom."

"Why do you think you've never had sexual fantasies about your mother?" Lorraine asked.

"I'm not sure it would feel right," I responded. "I mean, we were always taught that incest is wrong. It's never right. Right? And besides, there are a lot of other alternatives."

"Fair enough," Lorraine acknowledged. "But suppose you decide to have the discussion with Erika that Sharon suggested to you yesterday? Do you think Erika will give you the same kind of honest answers that you've always given me on very personal sexual questions?"

"Yes, I am pretty sure she would."

"And what do you think Erika will say if you ask her what she thought of Teddy's having sex with Sharon to help her emotionally as well as satisfy her sexual needs physically?"

I laughed a little uncomfortably.

Lorraine smiled at me and said, "Tom?"

"Mom's no dummy, Lorraine. She's going to know right away what I'm suggesting to her."

"Probably. And how do you think she'll respond?" Lorraine asked comfortably.

"I don't know. She'll probably want to talk about it with me."

"That sounds like a pretty good start to me," Lorraine said with a look of satisfaction.

"But what if ..."

Lorraine held up a hand and said, "Stop thinking too much!

Tom, I'd really suggest taking this one small step at a time. You're not trying to pick up some girl in a bar and get her to go home with you. You're trying to find a way to help your mother Erika find some way to restore her sexual expression that she once enjoyed but saw fading away from her.

Think back to the information and suggestions Sharon gave to you yesterday. Sexually, she knows Erika better than you do. And let's be candid: Sexually, Sharon knows you better than Erika does. In every way Sharon Madison may be better than anyone, including me Tom, to see if you are Erika's best hope of realizing the value of sex and feeling its physical and emotional pleasure from someone she truly loves.

I suspect, Tom, that Sharon is accurately assessing your mother's needs don't include another husband. In other words, Erika isn't going to expect you to marry her. In fact, she'd probably recoil from that. But neither does she want casual sex with some stranger.

What I believe, Tom, is that Erika may need to have sex with you. I believe that what we've been calling your 'gift' for the past several months could very well meet that need in her. I think that in the recesses of both her mind and yours, there are shared sexual components. In Erika's case, there may be some empty sexual spaces that are creating a deep longing that only one person has the ability to fill and satisfy her. You may be that person, Tom. In fact, you may be the only person."

Lorraine fell patiently silent while I considered what she had said. While I thought about it and tried to understand it, that mysterious feminine voice inside me whispered, "Yes," to me. That voice speaking only one word gave me a feeling of reassurance and confidence that I've rarely experienced before.

I simply repeated the word out loud. "Yes."

Lorraine broke into a smile that I swear literally lit up the room.

"Thank you, Lorraine."

"Don't thank me, Tom. You've known since Sharon Madison spoke with you yesterday what you are going to do and how you're going to do it. Of that I am absolutely certain.

Now, last time you were here you showed me the photos Misako Sato took of you. You said something about having some drawings today ...?"

I explained briefly about how fellow university grad student Geri O'Rourke has the ability to draw her impressions of the photos rather than verbally describe them. Lorraine suggested we plug my SD card into her computer and look at the drawings. She also suggested that she would like to see each photo which corresponding with Geri's drawings.

We spent the next few minutes looking at each photo, then its corresponding drawing. When we were finished, Lorraine commented there were two more drawings than photos.

"Before you look at Geri's last two drawings, Lorraine, what are your thoughts about the earlier photos and drawings?"