All Comments on 'A Hero's Misfortune'

Cant wait for second chapter Trained by sucubuss,

Great to see you back again!

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Really hope Trained by a Succubus turns out a bit more...romantic. While I do enjoy most of your stories (minus the pill one, not super into shrink stuff, to each their own) I feel like you should expand a little bit when it comes to the romantic aspect as well. Something akin to The Forest Witch, I suppose. If not Trained by a Succubus (seeing how manipulative she ended up being, in a hot way, I doubt thats the trajection you're planning anyways), I hope you decide to add another one like The Forest Witch, tone wise, into the fold of stories you've written.

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Balancing out the harshness with a bit of sweetness goes a long way and helps keep your stories from lacking variaty, but those are just my 2 cents. Regardless of if you decide to go down that path again (The Forest Witch) I'm sure your next new series (whenever you decide to start one up, no pressure), and Trained by a Succubus Ch. 2 is gonna be awesome and I'm looking forward to reading them.

@MCJOHN11708 Your comment has made me feel a lot better about the direction of the next Succubus! As much as I love domination stuff, romance is something I want to give a try (Pill was an attempt, but I'll admit I'm not too proud of that one. It was a bit rushed). I was nervous about how people would feel about that kinda addition to Succubus, but now I'm more confident about my decision. Just need to finish a scene and edit the finale, and it should be good to go!

Meh this one feels kinda stupid, the story goes from o to 100 mp in a half of a page. feels very week and pointlessly cruel. Trained by sucubuss was also cruel but in a hot way not a brutish one. So i think this story needs rewriting

Amazing! I've been waiting for more of your work for a while! Extremely hot~ I couldn't even make it through the first time.

Ooh! A unique twist! I was hoping he'd become part of the harem and turn into a lady. Your work is excellent at that! Even so, gotta love the futa!

Well, this is some interesting feedback. Pacing is definitely something I'm trying to improve. So far my stories have been relatively short and this one's been my longest so far. Thought I'd rush a bit when switching from the city to the main plot so it wouldn't be too long, but that was clearly a mistake. Glad some enjoyed it despite that though!

With the cruelty criticism, it's supposed to be in the same vein as Overthrown. Guy loses everything to a superior woman and become her property. I get it's a niche taste, so I don't expect everyone to enjoy it.

Wow, wow, wow! So happy to see you back and writing. Nobody writes dominant futa/cuckold smut quite like you do. Can't wait for more of your stories!

I think maybe their problem was that the transformation was sudden maybe?

Outside of that the pacing seemed pretty par for the course to me.

At any rate, glad to see you're back.

@torcoolguy ah that could be it. In that case it'd be a lot more difficult to rewrite, plus I'm content with that part. Though I've submitted a revision to fix the part I felt was a bit awkwardly paced.

Also, glad to see your still around :D

The feeling is more than mutual. And full disclosure I didn't mind the insta-trap collar, it just stuck out at me as a bit fast for someone who fetishizes the process of transformation specifically, which I am not.

Also, upon a second read I have to say this might be my absolute favorite story from you yet.

Glad you came back strong. The man being smaller in comparison to even the other women he's now being triple cucked with adds some direct playful femdom elements in that aren't always possible. That plus him just being triple cucked in general by an amazon demon was a super hot idea. Three different personalities and attitudes towards the superior futacock are being shown off at once.

As per usual my only autistic nitpicks come with certain size based visualizations. I love that the man becomes tiny and has a less than 2 inch penis. And further I love that the futa is 8+ feet tall and has a 13+ inch penis.

However, specifically the line, "Her cock was proportionate to her body but since she was so tall... It was huge compared to someone like Cass's." seems to imply that Gwen's cock relative to her body is the same proportionally to Cass's six.

Which one, wouldn't be the case if she is hovering around 8 ft tall, and two; wouldn't be as hot if true.

Supposing she's 8 to Cass's 6 ft tall 6 inch penis, she'd just have a bit thicker 8 inch penis. Which would be lame.

Something along the lines of "Her cock was large even considering her size, and that left it double and then some Cass's length." would probably work a bit better. Even just conceptually speaking even if someone is big you'd still probably want them to look hung when visualizing them by themselves. This is porn, who wants a demon with an average sized demon penis after all?

Gwen still is quite hung, it's just that one description seems at odds with her more explicitly detailed size.

@torcoolguy Aw man, thanks! And glad you enjoyed it! It's been the story I've put the most amount of effort into and something I'm really proud of. Though that said, I'm definitely still new to this and trying learn how to write better.

Phrasing things is up there on the list with pacing. That part of the story was my way of saying that if you look at Gwen, she doesn't have a dick that looks abnormally long. She just has what looks like a large, well-proportioned cock until you actually go up to it and realize it's as long as your forearm. But I'll keep your comment in mind in the next story (currently writing the next Forest Witch). You have a good eye for these sort of things

Yeah I get the intention especially considering her actually size.

It just currently seems like that one sentence is roughly saying, "her cock wouldn't be noteworthy given her height, but comparitively it still is."