All Comments on 'A Hero's Rebirth Ch. 05'

I have enjoyed immensely, working on the editing of this story. It is an amazing tale and I look forward to more of it!!

Excellent, to start with, I wasn't entirely convinced by this story, but each chapter has gotten better and this is defintely the best so far. Thank you for the writing.

Awesome chapter, and with an interesting snippet of progression. Nice character development. So, now that bullets are easy to block and the MC is ...less overpowered, does that mean that all the armoury work that the wood elves are doing will become useless? Or will there be a counter so that his weapons will still be somewhat effective?

Also, (on a sillier note) will Carl Gustav recoilless rifles make an appearance? (If only once, pretty please, LOL)

Thank you for taking the time to write this story, its wonderful and the effort you put into it and all your other stories is greatly appreciated!

Awesome as usual. I wish I was half as talented a writer as you.

More fantastic adventure to enthral us! Thank you so much for sharing your excellent work with us on this site, will be looking forward to the next chapter with quiet anticipation. Take care and be well.../A

This story is just such a great read!

This chapter was spectacular. I wish they could all be this long and wonderful, but you have to weigh that against posting frequency. If you can't post monthly, your readers might forget what your story is about or even what was in the last chapter. So even 4 or 5 pages a month should be enough to keep your readers interested.

Fantastic. Very detailed world and character development. If he keeps collecting matrons I'm going to need a cheat sheet to keep them and their powers all straight.

Have really enjoyed these chapters and the plot. I understand why it took so long between submissions, but would it not be better to put out smaller sections more often? Really enjoy, just hate the wait. ;-)

This has far and away become my favorite series on Lit. Chefs Kiss once again, you have struck the balance between more additions to the harem and still having them be fleshed out characters with distinct traits beautifully. The long wait for the next chapter paid off in spades, as the quality of the story continues to increase, and you set a very high bar with Chapter 1! There is great story progression; there is so much meat still on this bone, but you have never let it stagnate anywhere. Selfishly, you could not write this story fast enough, but I will put on my big boy pants and patiently wait for the next incredible installment. You have a gift, and a seemingly great chemistry with your editor, you two don't ever stop. 10/5 stars.

This story holds interest from the first submission through the latest. Chapter 6 is anxiously awaited. I commend you for a great plot and character interaction. This series is one of the best I have ever read; thank you for such a great story.

Thanks for the warm reception! Glad to have such enthusiastic readers. Sorry, discussion in the comments here is tough. I'm happy to chat on my Patreon (I've kept it at $1 so anyone should be able to join), and if I get enough people wanting to chat, I'll make a discord.

But I love the feedback, thank you all so much!

Once again another fantastic chapter. Somehow each chapter delves deper into each character and the world Thomas has been brought to. I am just as much looking forward to finding out more of this world as i am about the characters yet to appear. Please make this story one of your priority stories pretty please.

The first 4 chapters are written well and exciting such that (i) the reader was anticipating for more. Chapter 5 filled the anticipations and left readers (i) lusting for more.

What a fantastic story!! I am completely enthralled with your talent to spin a yarn that sucks readers in to the point that they are on pins and needles waiting for the next chapter!!!!!!!

I have never commented on any story before but I have to on this one. This series is incredible and I find myself primarily reading purely for plot now and not, uhh, spicy reasons. You should turn this into an actual book series whenever it’s of the proper length and monetize this. Just wow!

einfach spitze

Great story

The only downside to this story is the waiting for the next chapter. I am loving this so far!

The orgasm reverberated through our bond, driving my peak higher, and I heard the rest of the matrons give shuttering moans as they felt the ripples through our connection.

should be:

The orgasm reverberated through our bond, driving my peak higher, and I heard the rest of the matrons give SHUDDERING moans as they felt the ripples through our connection.

Really enjoying the overall plot of this story. I find you get hung up on details that may be viewed as tangent, with little purpose. The full paragraphs on arm positions for casting spells, or the math of how many maidens and matrons that will pass through Tom’s house in a lifetime are a bit wasteful. For a short story that this is, point a finger and blast away the magic. Have Tom realize elves live very long, and notice an old image of a bygone Master with many many matrons.

I am a total nerd and have been doing electronics since the early 1970’s in the US Navy. In the past I normally only read to learn more on how things work and how to re-engineer these electronic devices. Using books and electronic documents for references to learn more about new developments or learning how to repair/reprogram items.

While being total nerd, I have never played Dungeons and Dragons other than the late 70’s and early 80’s Atari electronic game version. I did like the Hobbit tale and Ring trilogies. I enjoy many war tales and history on wars on both sides the victor and loser. Reviewing these historical events always leads to intriguing knowledge gains. The potential for what ifs is astronomical in creating mind games. I believe you are creating such a realm blending everything while building/producing this series of tales for our consumption.

I hate the length of your tales due to my slow consumption (reading). But I have to agree with all of the positive comment on your construction and flow throughout this and each of the previous tales in this series. This one earned the Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating I gave it.

Thank you for creating these products.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Enjoying this! Keep it going.... and thank you for sharing

Brilliant, can hardly wait for the next chapters.

Love this series!!!

I love your story. As someone who really likes numbers, can I ask that you be careful with your numbers and/or make sure that they are consistent. For example in the first 4 chapter the elves live to be around 2,500-3,000 years old. In this chapter you are stating the elves live 25,000-28,000 years. That is a ten fold difference. Based on what you said in previous chapters a she-elf is fertile from about 120 years of age to around 1,400 years old and during that time could have 100-150 children. This equates to about 1 child every 8 years or so. This chapter indicates that fertility last until they are about 14,000 years old. That would only be one pregnancy about every 90 years or so. If they only get pregnant every 90 years the men could take on a lot more matrons.

In this chapter he also takes nine bracelets, but only gives out seven. It seems that this was just a complete miss by you and your editor.

I do really like your story and I'm looking forward to more.

So good!!!

Thank you for catching that on my numbers! I meant to say hundreds in that scene instead of thousands! That was a pretty bad misspeak, and I'll have to get a edit posted... Ugh, it always takes forever for edits to go through. I'm sorry for the mistake there. I do try to be careful, but this time the verbal wording got me instead of writing 1,400... Dang it. I hate doing numbers with words instead of using numerals.

The earlier numbers (120-1400ish for fertile years, and lifespan being 2,000-3,000) are correct.

Wonderful. Please continue, and thanks for sharing.

The story is amazing, beautiful, and enthralling. So much detail and imagination, I can't wait to read more.

Loving this story so far! I love stories where a human from earth finds themselves in a fantasy or sci-fi universe - regardless of how they get there. I also feel that there's going to come a point (if it's not there already) when he has too many wives. The fact that he has to take all of them to bed except the pregnant ones is going to lead to way too much writing taken up with bedroom scenes (possibly). Thankfully you're doing an excellent job of keeping the sex short and sweet, rather than filling pages with it. I'm looking forward to when Amara finally gets in bed with our hero. 5 stars from me!

When you re edit this… be mindful of the sexist comments of our hero. If he is to be champion through his actions then his inner dialogue should reflect his respect for the female characters. Fun read otherwise 👏🏽

MysterLee….it is a story. Not to mention, at the end of the day, he’s still a guy. He’s gonna make sexist statements and have sexist thoughts.

MysterLee, I'm curious... which comments are you taking about? He's a military man, and for a military man (as I understand it) his language has been borderline unreasonably clean. I'm not a veteran myself, but my veteran brother and veteran friends gave all given me the impression that most soldiers (especially active duty, like our MC was less than a month ago when the story started) are a profane and crude lot, in general. I don't think policing his inner dialogue does him or the reader any credit, in fact it does the opposite. If you ignore the intrusive thoughts that reveal the hero's flaws and temptations, then there is no nobility in his actions. Finding the elves sexually attractive, appealing, and allowing him human thought and emotion is a good thing, for a few reasons.

1) While, yes, he's fighting a war for the Elves, this second life is a reward for him. He lived a noble life on Earth, while not without flaws, and being sent to this world is literally a reward for him. If his partners and lovers weren't appealing, what kind if reward is that?

2) This isn't a fairytale to be told to young children. This is a Fantasy Action Romance Erotica for adults. Can any straight man say he hasn't had inappropriate thoughts about a woman? Can any straight woman say she hasn't had inappropriate thoughts about a man? Same for non-straight individuals and those they are attracted to. Asexuals might be the only ones who can make the claim, and only the ones completely lacking desire and attraction of any kind. Isn't it a common lament of the extreme zealous righteous that they cannot avoid occasionally thoughts of impurity?... and you would hold a non-religious military man who is making (as far as I can see) the right decisions based on the hand he's been dealt to a higher standard? We must accept that no one is perfect or even those we should look to as examples will fall horribly short... and that's not talking about our MC here... If you are looking for a role model on a smut/erotica site you might want to consider therapy and evaluating some life decisions.

3) If we don't acknowledge the reality that so long as rules and limitations based on moral, social, religious or other grounds, and that there is a temptation to go beyond them... then there is no moral good in our Hero's actions. For example, Amura. She's a young maiden, enslaved and given to our hero. He's been told he has full rights to use her... sexually... however he wants. He could order her to perform any sex acts he wants. Many stories on this site revolve around a single such instance and the abuses the controller in this circumstance heaps upon the controlled. Our MC has done NOTHING sexually to her, forced her into NOTHING, and the instances of her placing herself nude in his presence have been entirely voluntary. If he didn't WANT her, if he didn't find her appealing... then woop-de-doo, you didn't do a thing you didn't even want to. But in accepting that he wants to do things to/ with her, his refusal to force her actual has merit and goodness. Not sure if this kind of thing is what you're taking about.

If you're objecting to things like the use of words like "cunt" to describe the female sex organs... he's fucking military, I still think his language is probably tame for that fact. I've been just waiting for a real Veteran to enter my comments and go "Holy Shit, what are you a church boy? Make the man fucking swear like a soldier! His language is way too clean and it almost makes this unreadable for someone who knows how soldiers really curse."

... so I'm not really sure what you're complaining about.

Fantastic story, well done to the amazingly talented author who makes the reader fall into your world, can't wait for the next chapter of your saga!!!

I really like the story. The only reason I have not given it 5 stars more consistently is the errors. The wrong version of the right word , a missing word from a sentence and other items like that have made things confusing. In most cases with some work I can come up with a solution that works, I am just not always sure it was what you intended. I plan on finishing the story and trying some of your other stories because you are very creative and have things well organized. I just hope you can clear up some of the errors in your newer stories

I'm doing my best on the editing, and my editor catches a lot... but we're both human. So, sorry we don't catch everything.

Ok this story has got me hooked!! 3 days reading this entire series non stop!

One question tho? Are you planning on bringing in the humans and maybe lizard-folk into the war either for or against Kathra?

5/5

Helgamite, you'll have to wait and see. But.... I'll give you this: With how popular this story has been, there is a high likelyhood of the story continuing after the war with Kathra finishes. Sort of like "A Hero's Rebirth" is book 1, and there will likely be a book 2. The others WILL be in book 2 (and potentially beyond) if I don't bring them in on Book 1. I have ideas for book 2 (Damn ADHD brain can't not), and I'm happy to keep writing as long as people keep enjoying it.

Fabulous story so far. Seems to me that having so many matrons will prevent you from flushing them out very much. Still....

5/5

J

Brother can you atleast please reveal when next part coming (an approximation if not exact). Please 🥺

I just sent it to my editor. It is pretty long... it was my NaNoWriMo2023 project.... and it hit 50,000 words. So editing may take a few days... but it's coming.

I am loving this series and how you put everything together. Correct me if I am misunderstanding, but it take the female elf two years approximately from conception to birth. During that time the female elf does not have the desperate desire for sex. If our hero continues having one matron achieve conception about once a week, he will have about 100 matrons pregnant at one time, and go a long ways to repopulating the various elf nations. If the story continues as it starts, each elf nation will want him to have at least one matron from their nation. I am really excited to see how this goes.

That is a pretty good analysis on the situation with our Main Character breeding the elves. The numbers are roughly correct. Though the two years is an elven fertility cycle. Elven pregnancy lasts 2 1/2 years (or 6 months more than you had calculated.

Well , what all can I say, except…..Congratulations on a superb Fantasy Series.👏🏻 The plot and your story telling ability has had me hooked for the past 2 days. I am glad to see that you have had the next chapter completed and in editing. It will be my Christmas present 🎁😅🤣 thanks again and Merry Christmas to you.

Out of curiosity how many words for the total project have you written so far? I saw in a previous reply that the next part is 50k alone so I’m just curious the current running total.

very creative but the almost excessive detail makes the story movce too slowly and the elf names are difficult to grasp.....especially for those who do not see well/

Cummingatu, I keep meaning to just see what that is so I can answer your question... I'll have to grab those numbers, as I don't know (off the top of my head). I just keep forgetting.

Sorry for the slow moving story, it's just how I write, and the elves just wouldn't feel like Elves if their names were Samantha and Tiffany...

Okay Cummingatu, I have your word counts now:

Chapter 1 38601 Words

Chapter 2 38211 Words

Chapter 3 27748 Words

Chapter 4 35718 Words

Chapter 5 54673 Words

Chapter 6 52284 Words

For a total of: 247,235 Words

It's a great story that's really hitting a lot of my buttons (hot elves, deflowering, and ESPECIALLY breeding kink). But if I might make two suggestions. First, all the made up fantasy names are already challenging to follow, and it's made worse when you misspell them in lots of different ways throughout the text. It would be a good idea to keep a document with a master list of all of the canonical spellings of character names and places and such, and have your editor check all of these names against the list while doing the proofreading. Character names especially get misspelled often and sometimes in ways that make me lost track of exactly who is being referenced. Doing this would improve the readability of the story quite a bit. Second, it's very hard for readers to keep track of this many characters, it would be a good idea to start every chapter with a list of important characters with brief descriptions to make it easier for us to picture them in our heads. It doesn't need to be anything super long or detailed, just something like:

Character name here: Wood Elf battle matron with dark black hair and green eyes, 5'6", skilled at tracking, rides such and such mount.

That kind of reference would make it easier to visualize what is going on. Thomas already has a very large harem and I simply cannot keep track of what all these chicks are supposed to look like, which makes the sex scenes especially less impactful since I can't easily visualize the involved she elf in my head.

Wolfbeckett, I'm glad you like it!

And confession, I have exactly that. I have a character list with all the characters of any significance I've introduced... and it works great when I'm writing on my computer, I literally Copy -> Paste the names most of the time... it's when I'm writing on my phone that it is bad... I try, but Spellchecker really sucks at helping with those, even when I add them to my dictionaries.

Also, I have a second editor that is hopping in to help and they seem great at catching these. They've been chugging through the currently published chapters (finding an embarrassing amount of mistakes) and they are currently working through Chapter 6, so we can fix these before I publish it.

I try to be consistent on stuff like that... and like I said, it's easier when I'm writing on my laptop, and I prefer to write that way... but more often than not, I'm writing on my phone.

Great story, love the mix of character's and I agree with you about the elven names it suits the character's from another world.I have got two problems with the story so far the chapters are too short and the upload time between chapters are too long lol...great work looking forward to the next chapter....many thanks bone

I love the story and characters. BUT, just a couple of suggestions. One. any Special Forces "Team Leader" would be training "Indig" personnel assigned to him, and finding weapons similar to his own to equip the entire unit. Second, he would be aware of those that there are weapons that have virtually no recoil. In Vietnam that started as the M1 Carbine, and then evolved into M16s, as they became available. By the way my 7 year old very skinny grandson thought the idea of one of those kicking to be ridiculous. Now imagine all 12 if those attached to him laying down designated fields of fire against bow and sword wielding Dark Elves at 500 meters, the 300, and then 200 meters if ANY made it that far. Walk into a VFW and ask if there are any old Vietnam Special Forces around. One will quickly give you a course in speed course in such tactics and training as that WAS their role and mission. Great story but put a little reality in with the fantasy. Next time contact me and I will quickly edit your great story on such things :-)

I hear you about low/no recoil weapons. I do. But let me ask you this: if you have TRAINED WARRIORS already LETHAL with their weapons with speed and skill, knowing how to manipulate the range, trajectory and power of their weapons.... would you have them ditch all that for the lower power of the low/no recoil weapons? Historically, a war archer could only fire 12 arrows per minute, but an M6 could fire 700-900 rounds a minute. Now, an Elf could not fire 700-900 arrows per minute, but could probably put out 60-120 arrows per minute with skill and precision. Can an automatic rifle put out more bullets than an Elf can fire arrows? Yes. I freely concede that. Is there a potential to become more lethal with a low/no recoil weapon than a bow and arrow? Yes. But if you have warriors who are ALREADY lethal, and you'd have to design, craft, and train warriors in a new system which they would (for a period) be less lethal than they ALREADY ARE because they have 60+ years of training with bows.

Plus, in case you haven't caught it, the Elves are already having resource issues. They are reopening mines and scrambling to gain resources. So question about your Vietnam vets: were they trying to mine the resources, design the weapons, craft them in the field, and train the "Indig" warriors (who were already lethal) with them... or where they taking crates of weapons, handing them to "Indig" civilians and taking someone with no lethal capabilities and turning them into combatants? I would argue those are two very different circumstances. Also, I know some Vietnam vets I talked to talked about crawling through mud and cutting throats with daggers while the (not going to use the slur he did here) were sleeping. Does that mean that this tactic is universally applicable and should be the go to? No. Every battlefield is unique. Our MC has made the decision that given the level of lethality he has seen and the difficulties he would have to overcome in transitioning the elves from the methods of combat they have honed over hundreds or thousands of years to firearms in the months he has is not a priority RIGHT NOW.

Additionally.... if the elves, his current allies, cannot effectively use high recoil weapons, and he floods the battlefield with firearms... what happens if an enemy race (not elven) captures some, figures out how they work and makes simple, high recoil weapons with higher lethality than the low/no recoil versions he patches together for the Elves. Again, the ONLY firearms on this world are his and the ones his Smith is tinkering with. When firearms were brought against the natives in America, it didn't take them very long at all before they captured them and were using far more difficult and complex firearms. With the simplicity of of a self-loading, infinite ammo system, all it takes is one falling into enemy hands and they will be using it.

So, while YES it is standard practice, in a world full of guns, to give guns to our allies (which has never gone poorly for us... Right? Russia? Iraq?)... the MC here is ALONE AND UNSUPPLIED and isn't just pulling M6s out of a crate to hand to untrained "Indigs". I've explained this multiple times. He has a lot of difficult decisions to make, and while you may not agree with how I had him make these decisions. I'm not rewriting it because you think he can pull a crate of M6s (or whatever other firearm you think the elves could use) out of his ass. And while I appreciate the fact that your 7 year old (with human bones and joints) thinks that there are guns with easy recoil (and yep, I've shot 22s, I know that there are guns with very little recoil), to me this conversation is like every person that says Hawkeye should use guns. Would your low/no recoil weapons have hurt the dragon that the .50 cal couldn't? No? They would have been just as ineffective as the arrows? Same thing with the Kanegs? So.... it would thus far have made no difference if the elves were using bows or guns?(Because expecting an elf with days of training to be using an M6, or whatever other model you throw out, at the same ranges as a trqined veteran sniper is dumb and the attack on El'Muth'Ran was a success of stealth and throwing all the other elves in there with guns or bows might have made it fail, and the only other combats he's been in it wouldn't have mattered.)

I know every time someone posts one of these "your elves could use THIS gun so your writing is stupid" comments... you think you're being clever. Congratulations. Such a smart man. Very good. Now, put down the internet and from memory draw up a perfect schematic, and explain it to someone whose never seen a gun. You've fired these guns, right? So that should be simple for you. Our hero was probably stretching his knowledge of firearms getting what he has. Because USING a firearm and DESIGNING a firearm are different. He was most familiar with snipers because that was his specialty. Could he maybe lower the power and increase the weapon weight enough to make a gun that the elves could make? Probably. Would it be LETHAL enough and MOBILE enough to replace the bows the elves use? Would you walk up to Genghis Khan and say "hey, your horsemen archers are cool... but here's a 22!" No. The bow dominated battlefields for hundreds of years. Are high caliber rifles without arguement better in the hands of trained soldiers? Yes. I'm not arguing that current human soldiers should go back to using bow and arrow. But please, for the love of all that's holy, stop trying to tell me to replace bows, in the hands of competent archers with low-caliber rifles because "I don't think the kick is that bad". That's literally an opinion argument (given that you do not know elven anatomy), and only addresses one of many reasons that I have made the decision to have the MC act the way he has. Is it the one I focus on? Yes. Because it was simple to make a few demonstrations and move on. So, please let me move on.

Sorry if I was snippy or disrespectful. I have gotten so many comments like this and.... I'm tired of them. Frankly, the fact that I had him be able to guide the smith into making his .50 caliber, his Automatic and a pistol is probably the most unrealistic part of this. Google what happen when Kentucky Ballistics was SLIGHTLY OFF with his ammo on his .50 cal. I tried to point out that firearms are a little more complex than "Tube go boom, bullet go pew", when his 9mm exploded in his hand. It was an evidence that he was doing his best and his numbers were off. He is a sniper, not an firearms designer. Please stop harping on this one stupid point and just enjoy the story.

You know everybody is a Monday morning quarterback. NaughtyPladin this is your story in a world you have created. Write it the way you want and don't waste your energy replying to the crows on the sidelines. Life is to short to wast time, enjoy what you are doing.

Found a diamond in the rough!

Grrr, catching up to the author really sucks. Need more story!

Write the story how you want, it is yours.

This is a wonderful story from Chapter 1 through Chapter5 and I am really anticipating Chapter 6 to see how it goes from this point forward. It is your story in a fantasy world and as such does not have to be as in our real world. The story is enjoyable as written and you do not need to defend how you have put it together. I have yet to find any book or story that does not have some typos or editing issues; but that does not detract from the great story line. You keep me involved in the plot and looking forward to the next steps in the plot. Thanks for your time and effort!

Good stuff. I'm amused by all the whiners in the comments wanting him to give guns to the elves. It seems obvious that they have skeletons akin to a bird's. At best they'll maybe be able to use a bipod. Perhaps a reciprocating barrel, like on armor or naval autocannons?

Maybe the mountain elves will have better mines to enable heavier weapon production. I know I'm most interested in the cloud elves, since I want to see if they're even more bird-like in their skeletons.

One piece of advice, don't bother writing long comments replying to the whiners. They are literally unworthy of your time. If you were a lesser author, I'd advise you at least keep criticism in mind, but they clearly lack the critical reading skills to even understand basic setting details. Given that, you won't get anything useful to your craft out of spending more than a moment on them. There will always be idiots, and you explained yourself well enough in the text already for those with any wit.

NOTICE!!!

Chapter 6 has been submitted for Publication.

This is a fantastic series! Excellent job writing this. I check back a few times a week to see if chapter 6 is out yet, do you have a rough idea when that will be the case?

Lol.... if my comments were only posted immediately, you'd have had your answer before you typed the question, Mr/Mrs Anonymous.

Enjoying story, well thought out and written. Keep doing what you're doing.

I meant to give a 5* rating but hit the wrong button !

Excellent story so far. Really enjoyed it.

I have been so excited reading this series, I haven't taken time to comment. God bless your writing skills. I personally needed a great story series to read, and you have given me that..Thank you....10 🌟 🤩

Okay. I loved this chapter even though I was surprised at its length. It took me a while to find it as I had been monitoring Novels and Novellas, not SiFi. I've enjoyed the adventure of this series although I wondered how many ways you could fuck an elf maiden. I will be curious to read about the first time our hero does one 'doggie style'! Looking forward to the next chapter.

is it some joke that i am not getting that you keep saying that 5 inches is large ?

Great chapter!

@quannis in the first chapter he talks about how he wasn't large where he's from (earth), but he's massive compared to the elves.

Yes, @quannis, as @FantasyLamb said, here on Earth five inches is pretty average, but most elven men are rather small, so 5 inches is superhuman to them.

I agree with some of these comments:

Fuck a virgin, cool shit happens, repeat. This story would be as good without the sex, and in some ways the sex rules you have set up are limiting you. I’d be interested in if you can make the sex scenes as interesting as the rest of the story.