All Comments on 'A Husband Lets Wife Have Sex... Ch. 02'

Hopefully chapter 3 is following very soon.

Chapter Two was more substantial than One. I still feel the characters need more development. A great literotica story needs to also be a great story, not just a lot of fucking, which unfortunately prevails at Literotica.

Also I wish there was more reluctance on Victoria's part. She seems too eager to be with Chris, and possibly loosing Jayson.

These are just my opinions, but it seems that is what you are looking for.

This is just fucking stupid.

Nothing to this is anywhere close to believable therefore totally Unenjoyable.

No husband would agree to never having sex with his own wife again,,, not one, If he loved his wife. Only a Damned fool would so that...so in this pretext and the fact that a story must be written so it is at least somewhat believable, this story unless it changes some little direction is nothing but crap, good writing but crap!

really like the "never having sex with hubby again" element

I think a formal legally binding ceremony would be fun

video taped for legal enforcement

wife all dressed up similar to a pseudo wedding

The vows?

"Honey I hereby swear that I will never allow you in my pussy."

"I understand"

"I will never touch your penis again with my mouth "

"I understand."

"I will never touch your penis again with my hand, at all."

"I understand."

"Upon forfeiture of everything you will not cum, not one drop, unless allowed to."

Legal moderator : "You may now remove your wedding ring and return it. I now pronounce the husband a legally chaste cuckold."

:)

Have fun writing!

It's good but Jayson is giving up too much too easy. Not that he needs to fight it, but it doesn't feel like he is being persuaded, tempted, coaxed as much as he should. We also don't really find out how much he is getting off to it or how jealous he is.

Your stated purpose is to learn to write erotica, so I’ll offer a bit of advice; most of it may be useless—you’ll have to be the judge, but surely it’s worth every penny it cost you.

There are as many ideas of what constitutes good erotica as there are people to put them forth. (You’ll see this by reading comments on your stories and other’s.) Stonewall1954 is right on when he says a good story must be somewhat believable, or put another way, any fiction story should not push the limits of believability beyond the ability of readers to suspend our unbelief.

It’s hard to accept a story where hubby willingly agrees to never screwing his wife again; perhaps a man would get excited watching wife and another, but surely he wants a piece of the action.

On the plus side, you show the wife not really getting satisfied, so that gives a reason for her to accept the stud—only thing is, she suddenly shows no regard for hubby—why would a woman who, just a few paragraphs before, was a concerned wife, turn so quickly? She can do it, but you must show why. Another option would be to have her showing distain for hubby before the interview. The fact you’re writing a man who seems willing to let his wife be the breadwinner, while he chases a pipe dream, would play into that.

You have a real knack for writing, and have done a very good job telling a not so good story—just think what you’ll do when you get the erotic story telling down pat.

thecarolinadreamer and others have left helpful comments and I thank you all. Criticism is good. Maybe the next chapter will be better. I shall improve over time!

awful fitting for a good story, and i love it.,. keep all the comments in mind. you should respect each of them. .keep writing. such a talented author.

Even Carolina Dreamer can't help you with this.