All Comments on 'A Long Time Coming'

If your wife helped write this, you should question the validity and strenth of your marriage.

a good first story; believable and yet contrived by the two.

Very good! Please continue writing.

one of a dozen 5 stars I have given in maybe the last 1,200 stories or so. perfect.

Cough cough.... troll.... yup a troll is losse

Wouldn't touch a foul creature like that with a ten foot pole

Well you have perfectly described a foul human being

This actually could have been a terrific story if it had been written in first person.

Second person doesn't really work. As an observer which is what second person is, you can't know what the participant is thinking or feeling.

Second person stories suck.

What is so creative about one of a zillion slut and cuck story's. They're pretty much, fill in the blank.

Somebody gave this 5 stars? I agree with the comment that you must have filled in the blanks! This had to be a form story, a blank template that you just change variables like names and places. Then voila! You wrote a story! This had a plot so basic it could be alkaline. Point of view was not on point. And it's only the fact that you didn't murder the English language outright, that you're walking around free. Sorry I am trying to critique stories based on mechanics rather than whether I liked the characters alone. Speaking of which, I don't care for them. Three people who thought little of their marriage vows. I mean why bother with vows, staying true to one person, having the family? It's a joke at the point anyone starts thinking of playing outside the marriage, isn't it? Just shack up, have bastard kids, forget about communal property. Why should you want or try to build for the future? Family means sh!t at this point, doesn't it? I mean the kids shouldn't have a problem saying, "Yea, that's my mum...no, I have no idea who my real dad is. Does anyone?" Did Jake's wife Miranda know he would be screwing the wife of a friend that night? Was she on board with their adultry? Is this the kind of stuff people of this character do when their kids are in the house? It's conceivable that one of the kids could have felt ill and come outside looking for a parent. Not knowing that mom was getting banged in the boat by uncle Jake. Really great community of people these swingers. Not people I would knowingly trust with any of my stuff. After all, if their values aren't important to them why would you expect them to value any of yours.

Gee you must be one of the star pupils in Nakedcraving's or yellowjackets class on "How to deal with repressed homosexuality through writing" classes.

HOT STORY!!! Congratulations for your first one!

Ill conceived, poorly written and no fun to read.

Congratulations you have successfully described the mind of a selfish woman

If your wife helped you think this up, then both of you have problems with reality.