All Comments on 'A Man Called Asshole'

Plot had promise (despite the predictability), but none of these characters were likable for me. Would have been good if they did something entertaining for the story instead of standing on soapboxes all the time.

No, there's nothing nice or sympathetic about it, either the situations or the characters.

This isn't a very likeable story and there are no likeable characters. That is an achievement and means, for me, that you have written a good story. Sad, predictable, with only losers. Well written, though. Thank you

All I can say is I liked the story.

Much ado about nothing.

What a sad story. I agree with Secrestal, this story had a lot of promise but it wasn’t developed.

I will echo remb95’s comment, “All I can say is I liked the story.” The writing was clear, the story moved quickly, and the end was appropriate and justified. Thanks very much. Good read.

I enjoyed it.

Abrupt ending, but an enjoyable read.

Very good story. I hope there is a part 2. I would like to see Trey be successful and find a good woman and have a successful marriage. Heather needs some anger management counseling, and hopefully her marriage is successful. As far as Lisa and Margo go - they need to grow up, and get some serious counseling. Neither of them is ready for a serious, adult relationship and may never be. I do think Lisa and Margo should plan serious retribution on Jimmy and friends.

I think a part 2 is needed. I agree with SwordWielder.

"... Maybe love isn't a pillar. Maybe it is more like the seat of a three legged chair. Faith, Trust and Respect are the legs. Knock off one and you might balance on the other two but you certainly wouldn't be able to relax or lean back..."

Knock off any one and your marriage will not sit upright and straight. It takes all three to keep a level stance in a marriage.

Good story.

This is me, not you, but I've missed out on the sort of life that would understand why any of them would think that the things they did could be overcome.

I can't believe Heather thinks that her (current) employment record is not going to be a severe handicap in her future life.

His friends acted as they did because they were angry and resentful at him for changing as a person (for changing the status quo). Foolishly, they expected him to react to their treachery like his former persona would have and that things would go back to when they were happiest.

Conrad knows that the company's recuiting needs will probably be expanding further in the near future.

Last, Lisa's acceptance of the situation has cleared the way for she and Margo to screw their way through the honeymoon in a celebration of her new lifestyle. (Lisa is lucky that she never saw her fiancée's hard body - it will hold down her regret)

I'm looking for a character with an IQ higher than that of a mollusk. Please help me.

Well written story

Trey/Troy May have started a total man whore but did change for the better. This made him sympathetic when everyone’s betrayal came to light.

Hopefully Heather’s marriage survives, as she is innocent.

5 stars, glad you took your time with the story it was worth it

Didn’t he send Jimmies email to Margo? So why the fake confrontation in his office.

Heather's husband doesn't trust her? Who was spreading rumors, and why didn't he talk to her? Why would Heather have to go after Lisa and Margo twice thus loosing her job?

The truth was already going around, and she had done nothing to suggest she would cheat.

Great Version of a Sad Story. Well Written, But sad. Friends pretending to be Friends are the only ones that can really knife you in the back. In this case, they did in Spades. Too bad none of them got a trip to the hospital for a few weeks. Especially Jimmy, who needed to lose his nuts for his seduction of the bride. What a "backstabber", nope, I would have made it my personal goal to hurt Jimmy Boy, Seriously. 10 stars for the great writing, great story, and great effort, Too bad there wasn't time for a happy ending. Great Job overall. Thanks, Buster2U

Great story. It's too bad Heather lost her job as she was totally innocent. Lisa and Margo should have been fired instead. A company wide meeting about them being possible lesbian lovers but nothing to quell the rumors of why the wedding was called off? Seems a little off.

And giving back what was obviously a valuable and costly ring? 'Desecrated' or not a dumb ass move especially when the MC had taking a hit financially.

A possible follow up story/epilogue could be: I would suggest the MC call his ex friends and suggest they take up a collection to pay him back for the money lost for the wedding cancellation they caused. Of course being assholes, they respond back laughing at him and maybe sending him a dollar each for the use of his fiance, That brings out a trip from the Asshole who trounces each one (not just a bloody nose but perhaps real and permanent damage) and leaves them unable to prove it was him.

An interesting story. I like how the main character knew who he was, made no apologies for it, and everyone knew what to expect from him. Honest and trustworthy, to be honest. No fake window dressings for him. Though the story was "long", it still felt like there were pieces missing. Some of the earlier "you know what you did" statements, for example, could have been dived into and provided a bit more explanation.

Very good. This shit happens. It's obvious she was always a slut and loved the excuse to fuck around. First the lopsided prenup proposal, then the declaration their marriage would be open, showed that. Fun story.

Lots of fireworks were assembled in the story but the author forgot fuses and matches. I hope there is a sequel somewhere in the background.

For the comments that none of the characters were likable: Why is that important? The idea is to tell a story. I think it ADDED to the tale that the MC/narrator was a self-admitted asshole. Too many stories portray the MC as Captain America. I did not care for the idea he was such great fighter/ athlete etc in addition to being a good looking pussy magnet and self proclaimed stud. BUT i was not the author so the choice was not mine to make.

Thanks for the story. Not quite a standard BTB story. I found the LC to be relatable if not likeable. My issue was with the fiancé character. It seems a little unrealistic to imagine a prudish woman who insists on no intercourse before marriage turning into a slut simply on rumours told by his old friends. I know it is a short story with all the limitations of the form but the character change was a bit too drastic for me. BTB stories are sometimes enjoyable for me but I really felt like this one could have turned out to be a redemption story. Thanks again.

Thank you. Well written and well structured. Also, it struck a little too close to home for my 20's and 30's. I also had been an athlete. Tall, fit and healthy, I also did parttime work as a Model and Actor. (I was in Investment banking) Plus, was a tad wild with the ladies and I too, was a bit of an arsehole. Then I met one particular girl and fell head over heels. Sadly, I changed my way so dramatically that the person she fell for, changed into a guy who wanted to please her. We got engaged. She fell for me as an arsehole/bad boy and when I changed she lost respect for me and, 1 year later, started cheating on me with, you guessed it, some "bad boys".

I was devastated. Yes, I broke it off and moved to another city. No happy ending for me. Cheers.

I liked it. Hope you follow it up.

I'm sure I've read this before?

Well done

Excellent!!! 5 stars. Sure hope you continue with this one. Would love to see how it goes for him to see if his past continues to haunt him. Also to see what happens to Lisa.

Wild ride and a great story. Thanks for posting.

Quite a fun story to read.

Meh. I barely managed to rate this at 2 stars. So many problems.

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1. The asswipe fucked married women and bragged about it. So, he's instantly NOT on the list of valid victims I would feel any empathy for, as a victim on cheating. More like, Karma on him. That alone cost the story 2 stars - otherwise I may have been choosing between 3 and 4 stars. You're supposed to have a MC victim you are rooting for in LW story, even if he's an asshole, not someone who got what was coming to him.

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2. The cheating shitswipe didn't lose ANYTHING. Her family was too cheap of assholes to pay for the wedding, she even got a vacation on MC's dime. The only difference between her and a whore is, whores are actually honest people who don't take advantage or fuck people over. And she had zero downsides. Hell, if I was writing this story, he'd have have videos of all her confessions and circulating them (and beaten the bachelorette party videos of ex-friends.

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3. He beat up a bunch of people in front of witnesses, and none of them went to the cops? That felt extremely unrealistic, regardless of whether they deserved the beatings.

@rwg7 - she wasn't "prudish" - she insisted on "no sex" because she was shit-testing him. Mind you, with his reputation, not an unreasonable idea (unlike 99% of shit tests women do). The slutting was just a "oh I think you're a slut so I'll be one too", a very in-character thing for her, just because it's a generic human thing to do.

@Gamblnluck - there's assholes and there's assholes. For me, the "fucking married women" passes - or rather blows past - the line from "an asshole overall who is still to be empathized as a victim of cheating" squarely into the territory of "I hope you get cheated on when you marry". In other words, the whole point of LW story (that is, story about a cheating victim) becomes meaningless, as he's not a victim of cheating, but of well deserved karma. If anything, the "protagonist" in this story is the un-named past husband, who was the victim of the story's asshole. But the story wasn't framed that way at all, unfortunately. Think of it as a story about a victim of theft - except all that was stolen, the "victim" stole from others in the first place. Do you feel for that "protagonist"? Generally, no.

@readyone - this story didn't provide enough details, but first of all, just the fact that she works with a male slut may be enough to be jealous - and perhaps, behind the curtain, Heather has misbehaved before.

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As far as her being fired - IANAL, but I would suggest realistically she may have had grounds to sue the company into the ground for unfair dismissal, since they were asked to stop the rumours.

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And if the "protagonist" was actually a decent person, he could have offered Heather's husband to take a polygraph test to prove the rumors were false. Since it was his fault at least in part, due to his past.

Really, you left us hanging? In word's of the US's illustrious leader - "C'mon man!" LOL! Too much narrative for tops cores and incomplete finish. 4.4*

I gave it 5 stars because it is well written and a different take.

But,

It is tough to empathize much with the main character. Sympathize a bit, maybe.

This could be a classic break tragedy but lacks the character development.

The seeds of destruction were sown by the by his previous life style and being oblivious to the consequences - calling him shallow just gives a hint to a direction of departure. His “friends” are just like the mud in a pig pen, roll around in it and the mud is going to stick. To act surprised when you discover you’re covered in mud and smell like pig shit is just a complete lack of self awareness.

As far as using his brothers as an excuse for being a self admitted bully. Well, that just means he failed the test of humanity. None of us control our circumstances or what life chances to test us with. We do, however, 100% control how we respond.

So 5 stars fir the writing, but can’t get beyond indifference for the future of the MC.

Sorry that most of you missed that this story was about a boy growing into a man, and sometimes that’s not a linear direction, and is usually about learning from previous mistakes … as me how I know? 5*

Lisa was definitely in need of some therapy. Didn't trust the guy or believe anything he told her but, was still going to marry him.

Good luck for him that this all came out prior to the wedding.

Excellent read. Great story, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Wonderful story. A man growing into himself. It does show that you are marked by who you befriend. Sad but true.

Here's hoping forthe"rest of the story" (sorry Paul Harvey)

5*

Sorry, didn't work for me. Lisa does a complete personality flip flop and never once confronts her fiancee' about what his friends are telling her? Yet she still wants to marry him after refusing to date him because of his reputation just because she got her revenge fucks? Believability counts.

Did not care for the ending seemed rushed

Almost a 5* but Lisa was played and then perpetuated the hoax and WON. Sure the married is off but she got away with her immaturity to his detriment. Then having to move and get a new job, yet Lisa is vacationed and comforted.

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Jimmy is the lucky one that should have met a baseball-bat again and again.

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4**** hooyah

Thank you for posting such a sad story where only the "asshole" proved faithful in the end.

That story went out on a whimper. It had some possibilities but your ending left it flat. Really a story about a bunch of not-nice people. Sorry. Not your best work.

This is one of your better stor. Five stars.

Very good read . Thank you for taking the time to write it. 4.5 stars . I gave ya a 5stars . But know the cucky shitbags will vote it down

Good grief how awful. Workplaces do not function like you described. Painful dialog.

Hope there's a part 2!

Captain Obvious alert! I'm a nitpicker. Many find my nitpicks obvious at best, annoying at worst. If that bothers you, please just go onto the next comment, because I won't be changing in this lifetime.

BTW, if you want to send me feedback about my comments, you might want to tell me which story so that I can look at it. I might even agree with you! I AM capable of learning, or maybe I was just having a bad day, Also, it’s hard to take you seriously when you send it anonymously.

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"You know what you did." - I hate when women have this attitude, along with the, "If I have to tell you..."

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Even if he DID cheat, this is the woman who hasn't even gotten naked with her fiance, let alone fucked, until the wedding night,and now she's in full slut mode?

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"No, now that I think about it." - NOW that she thinks about it. He told her where he had been, and she obviously didn't bother checking it out.

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"But, I believe you now. I believe you have been faithful to me and I am proud to be your intended." - But she hasn't been faithful, and he's ashamed to be her intended.

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"Can't you forgive her this little indiscretion?" - Why? She couldn't forgive HIS "little indiscretion."

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"Then she was going to announce that we had an open marriage and would fuck around anytime she pleased." - Wasn't that another option if they didn't want to start with a clean slate?

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Why give back the ring? That's worth a lot of money!

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"You weren't married yet." - That didn't cut him any slack when she thought that he had cheated.

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"Should I have pressured Lisa more for sex? Would getting her into bed even helped?" - Maybe, since part of hie "friends'" argument was how he wouldn't be able to go cold turkey.

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"I have asked to be put on another team as I don't trust you." - WTF? I can understand wanting to be on another team because of the rumors, but what has he ever done for her not to trust him?

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I liked Trey. Not as he WAS, but the way he turned out. He made a REAL, sincere effort to turn his life around, and was sabotaged by those who should have been on his side.

I liked the story greatly, until the end. I think a bit more elaboration would have been better. I could only give 4 *'s, as they don't have 3/4 . 4.75, is my true rating.

Was enjoying the read but like other I felt the ending was like hitting a brick wall, could have finished better, that apart, thanks for a good read. Lisa is one dumb cunt

Unfinished. Please give Trey a better ending. Heather needs to sue that company for allowing her reputation to be tarnished.

Brings to mind the quote by Loretta's mother in Moonstruck: "Don't shit where you eat." 5 stars, Hey! What are friends for? To take advantage of or shit on of course, at least in this story.

Dude, that was really well written. 👌

There were quite a few small things that made the story irritating, some of which have been mentioned by sbrooks. The one that I really couldn't stand was the last paragraph.

This particular man who called himself the Asshole is faced with a woman who never trusted him, had sex with all his friend and with the intended best man in the Asshole's bed despite never having sex with her 9 month fiance, who got marked and intended to humiliate him on his wedding night and planned to never intend to follow the promises she was going to make at the altar. The character development is pretty clear and there is no way that this man as depicted would miss such a sorry excuse for humanity as his former fiance.

This story really got to me. Please write a follow-up.

Great story, especially if there is a part two. If not the ending leaves a sour taste. Thanks.

yes...this needs a part 2

Like the story and I believe Heather had every right to wupp ass she was most certainly prevoked.

Good story, thank you. I liked the ending but if did a second shot I definitely would read it.

Why no tags ?

What an pathetically stupid contrived story.

REALLY....

I racked my tiny brain for an answer but came up empty. I trusted my friends to have my back, especially right now

This is not finished. I see other authors, adding a finishing chapter of the story I suspect finish. The damn story will put his two cents in.

@Gamblnluck

Writing a story with NO likeable characters is like an author waiting until the end of his story to tell the readers not to read it. But you're correct, that IS his choice to make.

~

As for the story, consider these old familiar adages --

"In life, there are no free rides."

"Karma is a bitch!"

"As you sow, so shall you reap."

LISA WAS PERFECT FOR ME....

oh.my. god

The amount of retribution was not even close to adequate for all he had endured for the slut's sake. The story was fine otherwise, but the ASSHOLE turned out to be merely a quiet fart.

To unbelievable for my tastes. Really he stays celibate for a yr plus only for his love listening to rumors and turning into a wonton slut. Where was the proof and no way he even should have married her. She gave out plenty of signals. That she wasn’t trusting him. Just over the top.

I guess I just don't get why the mc was considered an asshole? He fell into a psychological pattern of behavior as a child and then a young man, but upon meeting Lisa, he evolved past all that. Trey was, as implied by the storyline, a remarkable young man of exceptional character. I for one would love to hear more about him. Maybe several years down the road after years of therapy that bitch Lisa seeks him out to apologize and see if there's any spark left only to find him happy and the object of a truly loving wife.

Why was it when the term asshole was used to describe his actions, it just seemed to be akin to self respect. Has the woke world gone so far that any guy that shows that he has some self respect he is referred to as a asshole.

Perhaps his past actions have given him the moniker of asshole. So be it, he was ultimately chased out of town, mainly because he has horrible taste in friends, and had so many red flags around him that he ignored, his real name should have been Stalin.

I enjoyed this a lot! Thank you!

I appreciated that you had Troy/Trey change himself, to be worthy of his wife, and he went through a few realizations. It was nice to see a character grow.

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Be well!

God story! It leaves as yet untold tales possible in the future, if the author was so inclined.

Good story!! I'd like to see a follow up where Lisa takes revenge on Jimmy and friends.

Told of the second page and are you fucking serious??!!!

Who would put up with this ridiculous bitch?

Former bully?... to treat his supervisor? Maybe go to angermanetment.

excellent, really hope you continue the story

steppinontoes

It was pretty good, until you shot yourself in the foot and stumbled short of the finish line. If you could have held it together, it would have been a really good story.

Not a good story line. Weak plot. Characters were unbelievable . A prenup she wants and no sex too marriage. Believes his sick friends and has multiple sex with them . Never checked with him or saw him cheating. Just wild. With friends like his who needs enemy’s. He gave the ring to the friend and 2 tickets for there supposed to be honeymoon .. paid for most of the wedding and lets her get away with this. He didn’t beat his friends enough. She should be made to pay back his investment. Seems this author got lost way. From a strong man you made him a pussy. Lost his job. The bitch still is employed . You got this one wrong.

@Gamblnluck - Do you read much without your dick in your hand? Not everything is intended to just be another stroke story...

A lot of people want an immersive experience when reading. They want to vicariously experience what the protagonist is experiencing. Having a main character that they don't like or can't relate to breaks that immersion. It's the same reason that books rate/sell better with readers of the same gender as the main character.

I see some comments about Heather being innocent, but I have to question that. Her (over)reaction gives me the feeling that she is cheating on her husband and frustrated that a false rumor might trigger the exposure of her previously concealed indiscretions.

I find myself a contrarian concerning the comments I read. Many of those people would feel some sympathy for an addict or alcoholic. Here is a guy who had a poor past. Not novel. More likely more true of HS and college athletes than not. Wilt is rumored to have had sex with 10,000 women.

The common response by women cheaters is it didn't mean anything or it was.just sex. She wanted him to change, and he did. It's called maturity, and psychologists determine most women's brains aren't fully formed until they reach 25 years old.

Karma us a joke and missapplied here. MC did just what most readers cry for. He was decisive, proactive, and meted out consequences. I'm happy that he found out how immature and slutty she was before they married.

This needed a second chapter wherein the MC post's Jimmy's description of the bachelorette party so inviting all the other husbands, boyfriends etc to join the suspect pool before tragic and more permanent things started to happen to Jimmy and his other 'friends'. Doing so would also get some back on the females involved as well.

Very compelling story, it goes with the saying, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, Trey definitely did that as his enemies were his former friends. I do think that he should at least sit down with Heather and her husband to explain the situation a little, As for Heather getting fired, she was warned after the first incident, so that is understandable, she did not need to go after Margo and Lisa, so he may want to tell her and husband to get some anger management there. Kind of intrigued about a second part of the story, where he comes back to see his folks and the fallout, see if he runs into any of his former friends and if Lisa ever admitted the truth of the real reason why the engagement was called off. It wouldn't be surprising if Jimmy bragged about it, acting like how Trey formerly was, I could see Lisa and her friends now steering clear from him because the orgy wasn't worth it, so you got two divided friend groups

As a man, I am acutely aware of the weapons of choice from the opposite sex. PASSIVE AGGRESIVE Behavior preceded by tears and illogical meltdowns. Seems Lisa had PA to the max. Should have dumped her when she

brought out the PreNupt.

I enjoyed this story, it is a different take on the MC! He is not the typical saint, or the typical normal guy who is fairly non-descript, a non-fighter and is surprised the girl purportedly loves him. I don't agree with the people that

say the MC was not redeemable. He changed for this woman, to become a better man but got kicked in the nuts by his so-called friends and the love-of-his-life decides to believe them and not him! It was well told, but the ending was not great, because I felt there was more that could have been said/done! I still gave it 5*.

BTW I have read some of your other stories and think you are a good writer, please keep writing!

How about a part 2?

Not enough retribution for Lisa. The ending sucked the air out of the story.

Poor ending

Martian slut Ray strikes again.

Five stars. I hope there is a sequel to the story. Is life gets turned around in the next story?

So glad Lisa got the shaft Obviously she was a self-opinionated slut bitch and he was lucky he found out BEFORE they got married Maybe an asshole BUT better off now (jaybee186)

Pretty ordinary story, quite understated and somewhat poorly told.

Scores 3/5

No, no, no. He was too easy on the perps. And the company should have paid for his relocation at a minimum. And Heather was an idiot. Why not stand up for him? And despite any reputation he should never have put up with her “test”. Screw that - no trust, no marriage, and it was apparent she never trusted him.

Just no. She was not saving it for marriage. She had given it away. The one sided prenuptial - a clear warning. She could cheat but he couldn't? Maybe not trusting was not about his but about her nature. Seems so. A couple of months of "testing" was more than enough. He should have gotten to the bottom of it. Probably screwing random men while "testing" him. Perhaps allowed certain -reciprocated- measures to check for cheating opportunities. But perhaps he was lucky she revealed herself as a stupid cheating slut before he fastened on the ball and chain.

Just cries for another chapter, but this one was very good.

Good story and looks to be room for more. I feel like she was naive/gullible to believe his ex-friends but was willing to except an open marriage to keep him. Well, that was interesting. I didn't see her as a slut but was willing to change for him. The ex-friends need more retribution. Their lives should be totally destroyed no less than they destroyed Troy and Lisa's.

Good story and well written but a tad too melodramatic for my taste. Good for a 4*.

4 and only because the story kinda peters out with no real ending. If there is ever a sequel I'll bump it up to 5. An interesting story with an interesting and very flawed MC but thats part of the charm. He is not some born noble paladin but a man who did bad things but was trying to change, to be a better person but his past demons and the company he kept pushed him back into being a not so nice person. There was a few story problems such as the MC ignoring the great big red flags the ex was tossing out there especially the one sided prenup but I guess they were necessary for the story. Also this story could use some tags to make people like myself who look for new stories that way easier to find.

Sequel?