All Comments on 'A Master's Punishment'

Hello, Happy New Year, welcome and thank you for this, your debut story - or at least Chapter One of it! I'm glad you didn't lose even this - and it should serve as a timely lesson: Data Does Not Exist Until You Have At Least Four Copies Of It.

You should write that out, by hand, a hundred times to drive it home. As to the story fragment, well done and please bring us more - four stars for a good start.

There is no pace to this, no attempt to set a story line, no try at building character. There is no sense of the relationship between Master and slave. In short, this is not a story, just a snapshot. A blurry snapshot at that.

quite well as a scene (5*s from me). Will be watching for more. Ignore the naysayers.

Plzz continue your work... Going good

Good start. Please write more.. Can't wait

It was really good in my opinion, I could tell it was your first time writing a story like this though. You could work on being more descriptive and a lot more graphic! These stories often take time and thought, a lot of thought if you ask me. It's nice to see comments where people are saying please write more. It's almost a promising wish for some people. I say that in a sense where it's like these people are almost feeding off of your stories and that's the best feeling ever, knowing your helping someone else out. Anyways getting back to what I was saying, watch how fast you comprehend the story, slow it down a little bit. You went from him walking into the house to immediately punishing her. Take time to really think hard about, people like when the stories tension builds up slowly and then the immediate reaction of the punishment happening. Good story, follow some of these tips and I think you would have amazing stories wrote!