All Comments on 'A Moment'

First story!

4

Ruined by rushing

Nice work here.

Seemed to jump from hard reality to fantasy just a wee bit too fast. There needs to be a reason other than lust for a change from chaste longing to all-out fucking. God start and raunchy finish but something is missing.

A bit rushed, but not “ruined” by any means. Good first story! Hoping we find out more about James and Julia (and maybe Stacy!).

A few years ago, I was James. About a year after my wife died, my “Julia” took my class. She got a good grade, and soon after the class ended, we had a lunch date. A month later, she visited my bedroom for the first time. She helped heal my lonely heart with her gorgeous body and her incredible cocksucking skills. We aren’t together any more, but I’ll never forget her!

Advice for new author: Get a good editor, better yet, 2

Work with editor as you develop the story.

Choose the right category. As written this was an erotic coupling.

I will not rate it as is

James description must be included here -- does he have a splash of sexy chest hair across his manly chest? On his abs? On his sexy arms and thighs? Aroundthat sexy cock?

Get these two together, as they seem to need each other! Please write more!! They seem a good couple together!

Very worthy first effort. Certainly would benefit from a second chapter, but you can leave it as is and let the reader imagine the outcome. I do agree it's not a romance... yet. Be careful which category you put any future works in, some of the readers can be rather catty. Hope to read more of your efforts.