A Mom's Symbol Ch. 03

She heard him mutter quietly, "Still, it is your birthday tomorrow."

She looked up at him. He looked at her seriously with gentle indulgence as he continued, "Birthday girls get whatever the fuck they want. All they need to do is ask for it."

He then leaned it and bit her lips before moving just a few inches away from her face. He asked, their noses almost touching each other, as he stared at her lips seductively, "So...is there something you wanna ask from me?"

Alyssa didn't know where she got the fucking energy, but she said, "No. Nothing."

Alex smiled and backed off. He chuckled as he remarked, "Well, I guess my job here is done then." The cab arrived near the park. The bully gently led her to it and opened the door for her. Alyssa still felt like she was in a dream. She's been treated this well before; she's a beautiful woman after all, but the experience is significantly weirder when it's from your brother's athletic bully who's been fucking you as degradingly as possible the past week. Alex stared at her as he held the door and said, "See you later, birthday girl." He then gently slammed the door shut and Alyssa headed home.

When she arrived, her mom was already home with groceries. Apparently, James and Brandon also came home early. To help with setting up her birthday. Her dad came home with a box and gave it to her. She opened the box, revealing a confectionery artwork that said, on the front, "Happy Birthday, bunny".

Alyssa froze seeing it--the soles of her feet seemingly glued to the floor as she blankly stood there and held the cake.

Her dad sheepishly said, "I made it myself. It's mocha, your favorite flavor. It took a lot of tries, but--"

Suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore and hastily put the cake in the table before running up to her dad and hugging him. Alyssa gave him her heartfelt gratitude as her eyes began to moisten and tears uncontrollably fell.

Brandon laughed and asked, "You remember that?"

Alyssa replied immediately, "How could I ever forget?"

Her heart felt full to the brim--to the point where it fucking hurts. Yes, she could never forget. "Bunny" was her dad's endearing nickname for her since childhood. She'd never forget it. He called her that whenever she'd trip and fall as a child. And whenever he did, she'd stop crying. It's the nickname that kept her going when things were tough. It's the nickname she thought of when she felt ugly and worthless. It's the nickname that got her the degree and success she wanted in life.

It meant so many things to Alyssa, but it always served as her resting place whenever she needed a break from life. God, it felt good hearing it from her dad after so long. The last time she's heard it was more than seven years ago. It always made her feel so safe and innocent back then.

She also realized how much she didn't deserve that nickname now. She cried even more over the guilt of betraying her brother and her dad. Alyssa hugged her dad tighter.

Brandon chuckled. He thought she was just stressed out or something. That and she was reminiscing over the nickname written on her favorite flavor of cake. He continued patting her as she cried--it only seemed to make Alyssa bawl even harder. It took a few minutes for her to calm down and let go of her father willingly. By then, her ragged breath held little hiccups as she forcefully tried to stop crying.

Lily was shaken up at the scene. Unlike the father, she knew the story; she knew why Alyssa emotionally broke down.

And the gravity of her own doing slowly dawned on her a little bit deeper too.

"Hold the cake, sweetie. I want a picture of this moment. You don't cry that often after all. Smile for us, bunny," Brandon said as he held up his vintage polaroid.

Alyssa chuckled as she wiped her own tears. She took the cake from the table and smiled for the camera.

"Alright!" A shutter flashed and a white film came out of the polaroid. Brandon took it out and gave it to James.

"It'll take a while for the image to settle. Keep this for your sister, James."

Alyssa stared at the cake sentimentally. This was probably the best gift she's received for a long time. She looked up at her dad and said, "Thank you, dad."

Brandon grinned, "No problemo. I love you, baby."

"I love you too," she said, smiling from ear to ear. She looked at James looking at the settling film. Alyssa's heart skipped a beat. He looked silently murky as he stared at her picture absentmindedly. He was also uncharacteristically silent for a party. She knew James; he liked parties, so why was he so....dead?

James seemed to have noticed her staring and smiled. It looked forced, Alyssa thought. She felt worried; was...his bully bothering him again?

"Anyway. Let's get to work! I'm gonna pump and set the balloons up outside," Brandon clapped his hands and comedically pulled out the pack of balloons he bought.

Alyssa chuckled. She was about to speak up when she was interrupted by her father, "Yeah, yeah. You're 'too old' for shit like this. We didn't ask you for your opinion, Al. We're setting it up as we like. Right, James?"

James half-heartedly laughed as he avoided her eyes, "Right."

The beautiful blonde punched her dad on his shoulder lightly.

"Okay, fine. But I'm borrowing James for a bit. So leave him with me. We'll only take a second, dad."

"Whatever the birthday girl wants, she'll get." Brandon shrugged. Alyssa flinched at the extremely familiar words. It was almost a complete copy of.....Alex's words this morning. He was nicer than he ever was today. More seductive than he...needed to be. Her mood suddenly dropped as she thought of the bully.

She hid her mood fluctuations and smiled, "Thanks, dad."

Alyssa grabbed her brother's hands and led him to her room. James shivered at her touch. He felt it gently squeeze his trembling hands. These were the same hands that stroked his bully's cock repeatedly as she asked him to cum on her face. His dick twitched, remembering how she looked like in those recordings.

She closed the door behind them, still holding him by the hands as she looked up at him. James felt uncomfortable at her incessant staring. Whatever he felt though, he hid deep inside. He asked, his expression betraying nothing, "What do you need me for, sis?"

She asked, "You don't seem too happy."

James smiled bitterly, "I'm probably just tired, but I am happy. You're spending your birthday here after all these years, so why wouldn't I be?"

"Tell me honestly," she seriously said, locking eyes with James. Alyssa continued, "Is your....bully messing with you again?"

James denied it; he wasn't technically lying. If you don't take the tapes into account, Alex didn't mess with him; it was just the usual pranks--practical jokes, occasional shoving, or asking him to pick the girl he'll order to knob on his dick during lunch break as the bully eats the lunchbox his mom, Lily, packed for him--nothing out of the blue and extreme. He was already used to it. In fact, he felt grateful about it. He's experienced worse after all.

"Don't be scared, James. I know you and I know when you're hurting. Clearly, you're hurting right now. Just tell me the truth. I'll...fix it, I swear. Just don't be afraid."

"There really is nothing going on, sis."

"You...why are you lying? Look at your knuckles!"

She raised the hand she was holding to his face. James' knuckles were riddled with wounds and bandages. He flinched. His hands were messed up because he kept punching the wall as hard as he could yesterday. He started doing the horrible self-harming habit uncontrollably a week ago, punishing himself for masturbating to his mom and his sister moaning, getting fucked in front of tapes the latter probably wasn't even aware of. Unlike the first video, the angles of everything that followed were way more secretive after all. That and a few more digging, James was positively sure she knew nothing about the tapes. The recorded videos tied to the 'missing' lingerie she kept looking for--which he hoarded in his cabinets. Like a fucking pervert.

"I...fell. This wasn't him. He hasn't been hurting me for a while, Alyssa." James called her by name in an attempt to somewhat intimidate her. He hoped she would just drop it. She didn't.

"Why aren't you fighting back, James? We could fight back. Don't be so scared of him; he's a student like you. Nothing more," Alyssa said as she stroked his arm, trying to reassure him to fight back.

"Just drop it, Al. I know what I'm doing. I'm fine. I appreciate it, but I can't do shit about it, okay?"

Alyssa was livid at his defeatist attitude. "You CAN do shit about it, James. God, why are you being like this? We didn't teach you to be this weak and pathetic--"

Alyssa froze when she realized what she had said. She covered her mouth with her hands as she looked at her brother; the boy was smiling, but he was clearly hurt as he looked at her derisively.

"James. That's not what I meant. That wasn't me. I--"

"Then who was it, sis?"

Alyssa couldn't answer.

James chuckled in a low, depressed voice as he said, "I thought so."

"James, that's not what I meant. You know it w-wasn't. I'm sorry. I was just worried! You don't tell me squat and I just want to help!"

"WHAT? What the fuck can you do, Alyssa? You weren't here for seven FUCKING years! You promised me you wouldn't leave. You....You...! I'm--I've been here in this p-position for years. I know what to do. So STOP trying to help. I don't fucking need it. There's nothing you can do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Fuck. Just d-drop it, okay? You don't know what I know!"

It was true. She didn't know what he knew--the things he heard her utter with that beautiful mouth; the things she did for his bully's pleasure; the things he fucking masturbated to. James was incensed. How could she criticize him for not wanting to fight back to Alex when she herself let the same guy walk all over her? Whether it be by words or actions, she let Alex sexually subjugate and straddle disrespectfully on top of her with just a touch of his dick--like she was just some dumb, slutty bimbo; the type of woman she insisted she wasn't and was never going to be her whole life with her fucking feminist ideals and her fucking speeches.

He felt her hands gently, but firmly holding the sides of his cheek. The same hands that pumped the base of Alex's dick as he spat on her face.

"James, look at me. I'm here now. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I left; I had no choice. I always said I did it for you three--and I did. We had no money. I had to take the job, but you're right. I left, and if I'm being c-completely honest with myself, I also did it for myself. I love my job. I wasn't ready to give up my dreams. B-but I'm here now, James. I'm here."

"I don't feel it."

Alyssa paused. She asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked straight at her as he uttered calmly, "I don't feel it. I don't feel that you're here. Right now, with me."

Alyssa grew silent. Outright hurt now showing in her face. James looked at her expression and closed his eyes; he never liked seeing her in pain.

But he was hurting too. He was confused. He was disoriented. He was disgusted with himself and his...fucked-up kinks.

He didn't know what to do.

"I gotta help Dad," he said as he turned his back on her and left, closing the door behind him.

Alyssa felt her body wobble. She sat on the bed as she processed whatever happened. She still didn't know what exactly James meant by that statement. They were having fun last week, why did James feel so distant now--

Her face grew pallid. Did he know something? Did he....see?

She shook her head. No, that wasn't possible. Lily said she saw Alex delete it with her own eyes from his phone. Now, all that was left was the physical copy; the bully wouldn't give that to James. Alyssa took a deep breath as she calmed down. Her thoughts, unfortunately, steered back towards the argument that just transpired. James looked so hurt. Alyssa was positively sure it was his bully. It was fucking Alex. She felt her blood boil in anger as she struggled to breathe. Her fists unconsciously clenched before loosening up. She grabbed her phone and sent him a text saying she'll never sleep with him again.

"Never contact me again. Leave me and my brother alone," she typed and hit send before closing her phone. She took a deep breath and tried clearing her mind.

A knock resounded in the silence. Lily opened the door and came in.

"Alyssa, what just happened? You were crying downstairs. And now, so was your brother when he came out of here."

She felt a pang of pain, imagining her brother tearing up. She took a deep breath and calmly stated, "Mom. I'm never going to do it again. With Alex. I'm completely stopping right now, no matter what." She looked up at her mom and continued, "I think you should too."

Lily's brows furrowed. She asked, "What about the CD?"

"I don't care. I'm never going to have sex with that guy again. I'm never going to let dad and James down again. What's important is what I do next, and I wanna do whatever it is with a clear fucking conscience. I'm giving you a month. This is the most I can do, Mom. I'm telling Dad after a month. I don't care what you decide to do. I'm giving you a month so.....don't waste it."

She left her mom, who seemed dumbfounded. Lily was shocked at the solid conviction in her daughter's tone. Alyssa laid down an ultimatum--that seemed to hit her in the face. She felt herself slowly coming awake to the reality of the situation for the first time in about two years; Lily was a mom. She was married, and yet she was offering her sexual servitude to someone who occasionally hurts her son on purpose. The sex made that feel normal. It felt like roleplay. Or like porn. Through the never-ending orgasms and the absurdity, the situation felt as surreal as a dream. And now that her daughter was speaking up, she suddenly found herself awake. Yeah, what was she doing? James was her son. Wasn't family the most important thing for her?

Lily's mom was almost always never there her entire life. She constantly partied on clubs, drinking alcohol, gambling, doing drugs. She starts her routine from early morning until night time--occasionally never even going home until the next day. And that was fine with Lily then. Her dad was there for her after all.

One day after coming home from college though, Lily saw her mom on her dad's bed, fucking someone else; someone significantly younger than her dad. And way bigger. She should've been disgusted--and she was--but more than that, she grew curious of big dicks. Her mother looked happier in that moment than Lily had ever seen her before. What exactly could make that ice-cold woman smile as widely as that?

When her parents finally divorced, she obviously went with her Dad and put her focus into academics.

The more she grew up, the more she understood the situation, and she detested her mom for it. She detested her for never being there; for scarring her dad, preventing him from ever loving so genuinely again. Lily vowed then that she'd never become like that.

When did she ever forget that promise to herself?

What about her WEDDING vows? She broke them too. Why was she only realizing now?

No. She realized it long ago. She knew why. She knew when. She knew how. The answer was as simple as they come.

It was just the sex. The mind-fucking, nasty sex. The big, fat, tasty cock. Lily had a taste of it and suddenly, she understood her mother. It was like a savage addiction. She even wondered if that was why her mom was like that. Did her mother deal with it at a younger age? Was that why she grew up like that, going on clubs hoping to find the sweet, delectable release that could only be achieved by a big dick digging into her nice and hard? Was she....looking for what Lily had with Alex?

She remembered how it was like two years ago; where every little thing spiraled into bigger things. Brandon lost interest in her as early as five years ago--three years at the time the deal with Alex started. She felt so unattractive then, but she never let it show. One day, James asked for her help with a bully; obviously, she agreed. She's never personally experienced being bullied, but Lily felt sad for him still. She genuinely wanted to help her son. So she talked with the bully, thinking her stern tone and her position in society will intimidate the young man.

The meeting ended up with them having sex on the empty stalls on the school bathroom. She couldn't believe how easy she was, but she also mostly attributed it to the fact that she was sexually starved for three fucking years. She thought that was why it felt so fucking good. Lily still remembered the feeling of his hot cum melting her womb then, thinking she'd definitely let him fuck her pussy raw repeatedly after that. When she went home and saw James, however, she was taken aback. The shame surfaced. When he asked her how it went with hope in his eyes, she couldn't answer. She lied and told him she hadn't met him yet.

The next few days after that, Lily couldn't forget about the sex. She wanted a second taste so fucking bad. She hated that she did. She beat herself up for it, emotionally and literally--Lily beat her pussy up to the thought of the man; but she couldn't let the hopeful James down either, right....?

So she came to the solution that would get her both. It was then where she decided to make the deal with Alex. The man laughed at the time, agreeing casually because he'd "never refuse good, fast-food pussy". She felt mortified at the time, but that didn't stop the wetness that grew between her legs. Ever since then, it was a quick downward slope--only she hadn't noticed because it felt like she was climbing higher and higher at the time from all the mind-blowing orgasms.

It reached the point where she couldn't even recognize herself whenever she looked at her own pictures taken years ago. She felt so disassociated with the woman in the pictures. Usually, when you look at them, certain recollections of your thoughts and what was important to you at the time will flash through your mind.

But when she looked at herself before Alex? It felt quiet. She couldn't remember what she loved at the time. Did she like sewing or any recreational hobbies? How highly did she think of her husband? What about James, what was he doing at the time? And Alyssa? Her promise to herself of never betraying the man she married?

Brandon was essentially like her dad; they were both innocent. None of them deserved any less than the best, let alone the monstrosity she was doing; offering her cheating ass for free-use to a man who doesn't even love her.

God, what has she done?

____________________

Alyssa was ignorant to her mom's erratic thoughts and self-hatred. To be honest, even if she did, she wouldn't care that much. James and her dad were her priorities for now. The former needed a strong sister, the latter needed a good daughter; she was going to be both.

Especially at her birthday.

She went down and started helping with the decorations. Brandon kept telling her to sit down, but she wouldn't listen. James kept quiet though. No matter what she said, he never reacted. Alyssa felt she deserved it.

That didn't make it any easier to her heart though.

She slept pretty early, but she suddenly woke up at 12am with thoughts of James. He was ignoring her the whole day yesterday. Was he going to keep the silent treatment up? She hoped he would forgive her. It would honestly be the best birthday present she could have, aside from the cake her dad made.

She took a bath and brushed her teeth so she wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. After drying up, a knock came out of her door. Alyssa opened it, hoping it was James. It wasn't.