A Mother's Concern Ch. 08

1 day to go...

Neither Sandy or John had any idea what to say next about the experience, so they both pretended that night never happened for a few days. Sandy deleted the NetWatcher software from her son's computer. It was a violation of his privacy, and even if maybe it was the right thing to do on some level to watch out for her baby, the guilt was too much and a mother shouldn't have such access to the intimate private thoughts of her son. She hoped whatever the hell happened between them would help John on the step to adulthood but honestly she had no idea how it possibly could. She made her son obsessed with the idea of fucking his own mother and then consummated that obsession. She felt tremendously guilty and ashamed and thought it made the most sense just to let John go to college and get away from her.

They planned to have dinner together tonight as if it was the last night before John was to leave. It was going to be awkward and potentially raw. Sandy tried to figure out what to do about it. Canceling it seemed worse than just going ahead with it and pretending nothing happened. But how could she possibly do that? She tried to compartmentalize that night the best she could but it was not possible, that was her son.

John saw his mother pull away from him the last few days and couldn't take it. He finally got to kiss a girl, finally got to taste her, finally got to fuck her, the thing he always wanted and it was more than he could have ever hoped for. He tried watching mommy son porn but it was no longer the same, his hunger for his own mother was insatiable. He had the real thing and he finally understood what his mom was saying about how fake and phony porn is. The last few days he only masturbated to the bikini pictures of his mom. Thinking about her orgasm at his hand. He wanted to see it again so badly. He wanted to come at the same time. But how the hell could he bring it up? He sensed his mother needed space, and this was the first romantic relationship he'd ever had in his life. He didn't want to screw it up, especially because it was with his own mother.

He knew they were gonna have dinner the night before he left, and he wanted that night to be special. He wanted his mother to feel good about everything that happened. He decided he was going to clean up and got a haircut that morning. He shaved. He got out his suit and put it on. It was wrinkled so he decided to iron it. He wanted to look sharp, he didn't know where the dinner was going to be but he wasn't going to allow his mom to take him to some place cheap. He wanted to impress her, and show her what a man he was. He wasn't some kid wearing mesh shorts and a sweatshirt. He was a man.

The time of the dinner he knocked on his mom's room door, she said to come in and he wondered if he'd get a peak of her in her bra and panties again, or maybe she'd picked out an even hotter one this time, but she was fully dressed wearing a pretty conservative dress, down past her knee and even covering her shoulders. She wasn't wearing makeup. She took one look at her son and her heart sank, she knew what he was doing cleaning up like this. She didn't know how to react, he looked like a proper man. She started crying.

Why are you crying? "It's just because I know you're going off to college tomorrow, my little boy is a man. You look so handsome in that suit." John was proud, but confused. He thought he was going to get inside his mommy again, but it didn't seem like it was going to happen tonight. She just was going to have dinner and say goodbye like nothing had happened.

John and Sandy had the most awkward dinner possible together. Sandy not wanting to steer the conversation toward what was on both their minds, John too intimidated to try, John just kept asking questions about college, figuring that bringing the conversation back to the reason he was leaving tomorrow was a good enough distraction. By the time the dinner ended, John was frustrated. He wasn't going to get anything from his mother. He was leaving tomorrow with no closure, in love with his mother, lusting after her body, and he was just going to have to live with that.

On the drive home, John decided to get bold. In privacy with no one in earshot, his mother unable to eject the moving automobile he decided he could finally open up to her. "Mom, I want to talk to you about something." Sandy tightened and responded "What is it John?"

"Mom, the last week was the most thrilling week of my life, I felt things I never felt before, and I don't want those feelings to go away." Sandy was relieved at the general level of tact John was using, talking about the subject without actually talking about it. It gave her a way to try and end the conversation while still hopefully giving him what he wanted, what he needed. "John, I think we learned why a relationship like that is frowned upon in society. It was an exciting and thrilling time for me also, but a very confusing week. I sense you are also confused."

"Because you are confusing me." John responded.

"Well maybe that's because it's wrong, and sons shouldn't be doing things like that with their mothers."

"Doing what, say it mom."

"No. I'm not going to talk about it further, I was hoping this would be a nice dinner and I was hoping to avoid it but I guess I owe you the clarity of knowing. This is over John. It won't happen again. Never again. It's good you're going off to college tomorrow, you can find a sweet girl there, fall in love. Have a healthy relationship with her, not this." John was dumbfounded into silence. He had no practice with break up conversations and didn't know what to say. Begging wasn't going to work, he was sure of that. But he wasn't happy this wasn't going how he'd hoped. His mother was dumping him. What the fuck? John sat and sulked the whole rest of the ride. Sandy didn't dare break the silence, and just counted down the minutes until she could get home. John realized his time was running out, any chance to have an honest conversation about this was going to be gone forever. So he saw one last chance to share his thoughts. "I think you've got your cause and effect mixed up."

"What do you mean?" Sandy responded

"Society doesn't frown upon it because it leads to confusion, it leads to confusion because society frowns upon it. No one even has to know." John got out of the car and headed to his room. He locked the door. This time Sandy knew he just locked the door cause he didn't want to talk or be with Sandy. This wasn't about masturbation, this was because he was mad at her and didn't want to be under the same roof as her. Sandy went to her bedroom and began crying. After a few minutes, she pulled out a piece of paper and started writing.

John sulked in his room, looking at pictures of he and mom together on previous vacations. Both smiling for the camera. They obviously loved each other, now they lusted after each other and their relationship was gonna get destroyed. Not because of anything he did but just because his mother was too chickenshit to give in to the joy and thrill of mother/son love.

Then he heard a knock at the door, he went and opened it and saw his mother there. She had a present in her hands. "I forgot to give you your college going away gift. I'm so happy for you." She embraced him and allowed him to take her into his arms fully. "I love you." She then went into her room and closed the door.

John opened up the present and it was his mother's bra and panties that he lusted over before. Included with them was a handwritten note. He read it.

"Son, I am sorry about all of this and I am sorry I got you all mixed up emotionally. The truth is I've been very lonely since your father died and I have seen the man you've become. You make me so proud and I love you so much, and I just allowed the love to overtake my senses. It was wonderful and I am so grateful for the experience. I love you and will always love you but I want you to go off on your own and become a proper man. That's what college is for. I just don't know how to say it really and so I pushed you away while simultaneously pulling you closer. You are right that social pressure is hard to ignore on this front, and maybe it's skewing my perception of things, but I just want you to be happy. I hope this memento of our time together can satisfy your future urges and you can move on. Please believe me that this is because I love you. I love you so much and I am trying to put what's best for you above what I want. I want you. I don't deny it. But your future means more to me than nights of bliss.

- Love your mom, Sandy."

John smelled the panties. They were used. He decided he didn't care about locking the door, he wanted her to know how he felt. He wanted her now more than ever, especially now that he was certain she felt the same way. He wanted her to hear what he was going to do. He put the bra and panties on his bed. Put one pillow underneath the bra, one pillow underneath the panties, separated the two at about the distance of his mother's dimensions. With the door open he undressed and started humping his pillow with his mother's panties on it. He did it rhythmically while closing his eyes. He did it with enough force so that the bed springs could be heard in the next room. He started grunting. He didn't care about discretion anymore. He felt the satin of the panties on his hard cock pressing more and more, so he decided to talk dirty to maybe give into the fantasy a bit more. "Mommy likes it huh? She likes her son's hard dick inside her pussy." As he got closer he decided to start stroking himself manually, let out some guttural moans and then he came all over his mother's panties. He looked up and saw her in the doorway.

"I love you too" John said as his dick dribbled the last bits of his cum load all over his mom's panties. Sandy came over and kissed her son fully on the mouth. She then looked him in the eye and informed him "Last time was about my pleasure. Tonight will be about your pleasure." She went down and put her son's deflated, cum dripping penis in her mouth. She knew it was going to just be a matter of time until he got hard again, and she was going to enjoy watching it grow between her lips. His cum tasted salty, it was a long time since she had enjoyed the flavor. She wanted to taste it, but she wanted it to be fresh this time. After about 3 minutes of teasing his cock with her mouth he was ready for action again.

"Do you want me to reciprocate?" John asked? Such a thoughtful lover her son was already. "No, I'm plenty wet already" Sandy responded. She straddled her son and allowed him to enter her fully. This position she was in control and she was able to control the rhythm of the trusts by moving up and down but she had better ideas. "Son, I want to do doggy style this time." She got up and turned around presenting her ass and pussy to her son like those porn sluts he would pine after. Her son mistakenly thought she meant anal sex and started to try and enter her anus. "Whoa what are you doing!"

"Sorry I thought you wanted anal sex" John awkwardly responded.

"No just doggy style, vaginal sex, doggy style allows for deep penetration and the man to be in control of it. I'm giving myself to you son. Use me. Make me come again." Sandy looked forward and waited to feel the deep penetration of her son's hard cock inside her. He came up, aimed his cock properly, grabbed her hips and thrusted deep inside her. He started thrusting back and forth, trying to get deeper to feel his mom's pelvis smash into his.

"Harder. Fuck me harder." John began more forcefully thrusting, he wasn't sure how long he could last, but he was pretty sure his mother wasn't ready yet. So he found a rhythm, while still satisfying his mom's wishes. He could tell her excitement was heightening, He was going to get her off if he could just make this hard on last. "Harder, harder, use me son!" He raised the volume and intensity of his thrusting, he pushed and pushed "Now fuck, fuck me, fuck." His mom came, and that was the trigger for John as well. He finished inside her. He lied on the bed next to his mother and she flipped over and he got to see her afterglow.

"That was great" Sandy revealed.

"Are you ready for round 2?" John flirtatiously said. "Give me a minute, and you a minute. God the energy of youth." Sandy looked down and saw John's cum slowly drip out of her pussy. She liked that, she liked it a lot.

"Listen mom, you said tonight's about my pleasure. I'm not done, you're not done. We're just getting started." John then kissed his mother fully, fondling her breasts and trying to get her excited again. She gave in. This was going to be a night to submit to her son's desire. It was the only thing to do, even if it might not be the right thing to do.

Hours later, Sandy lay in bed trying to process what had happened that night. Her son had fallen asleep but she was struggling to. She scooched over and hugged her son in her arms, with her head on his chest. He was a man now no doubt about it. His lovemaking technique could use work but he understood what really mattered. Mutual love and respect and communication. John slowly shifted and woke up and said "again?" Sandy let out a laugh, "No go back to sleep sorry I didn't mean to wake you. Just wanted to cuddle." John cuddled back. They loved each other and nothing would change that, even if eventually regret took over Sandy finally realized. Her fear was misplaced, it was time to be courageous and give into the joy.

0 days to go...

John looked around and noticed his mother had already woken up. He looked at the time, his train to college was supposed to leave in 2 hours. He needed to finish packing up his stuff and head for the train station in an hour. He got his mom's bra and panties and put them into his luggage. He could hear his mother in the shower. He couldn't resist a peek. He headed over and looked at his mom's gorgeous body. He didn't know if she had overnight reverted to a "this is sick and wrong" stance on this whole thing but he didn't care at that point. He was going to take charge and stop letting her dictate what this was.

"Oh man look at that body" he looked and smiled. His mother saw him in the doorway and smiled back. A good sign. Maybe she's finally not going to pretend this isn't their relationship. Maybe when he gets back from college this winter he can get another chance to fuck her and show her what those co-eds taught him. He wanted to make her come harder than his dad ever could.

He went back to his room, got all his stuff and loaded them into the car. He waited and waited and then he saw his mom, wearing makeup and a low cut dress, her ample cleavage showing. "Mom, you look amazing." He moved over and pushed away her hair and started kissing her neck. "I want to show you what you're doing to me."

"She smiled. Soon we have to head to the train station. We can't miss it."

"It's freshman orientation. I can show up a week late if I have to and not miss anything. Why don't I just stay here for a week then go." He started kissing and fondling her breasts. Sandy started to get turned on and there was tingling down in panties again.

"Ok. That works. You can miss freshman orientation, you can go next week." Sandy decided to stop fighting this. She knew the passion of youth, maybe it was a one week love affair, maybe it was life long, all she knew was that fighting it didn't work, and she and her son were going to give in to the lust they had for each other. The physical manifestation of their love which was unyielding and her son had certainly become a proper man.

7 days to go...