A Nerd in Paradise

"I'm shooting promotional videos for the cruise line. I got into body building after college. A couple of years ago I entered a competition and won. After winning a couple more, I got recruited by an agent, and now I get an occasional television role, but mostly I do commercials and in house videos."

After introductions he led us to a sit down style table where we met his fellow actress who looked like she wanted to hide away somewhere wolfing down a Big Mac. Her name was Chiffon or Velvet or Chenille or something like that. The constant chatter in the room made it hard to hear. Her fake boobs were impressive and I had half a notion to ask her if I could touch them so I could compare them to the lady's at dinner. Flor gave me a hard look. I swear she knows what I'm thinking.

Next to the actress sat Harvey, the sound man, who spent the evening casting adoring sidelong glances at the actress. He was one of those nervous, skinny guys with a beer gut who never sat for long. Next to Harvey sat Linda, the director, writer and the show runner for the videos.

"We meet again," I said with a grin as I sat down next to her. She cleaned up good. Her hair was down, the pencil was gone and so were her clothes.

I could see that she welcomed Flor and me as a respite from dealing with her compatriots.

"You know her?" Flor asked eyeing me with one arched eyebrow.

"I shared the business center with him this afternoon," Linda volunteered holding out her hand to Flor, "we had way less skin exposed, however."

Gary and Flor soon fell into chatting about friends and times I had no knowledge of so I painted on an idiotic smile and resigned myself to an evening of imbibing watered down drinks until I bloated. When Flor began touching Gary's hand and arm and leaning in to whisper things into his ear making sure that her breasts brushed against his arm, I glared at her, but she ignored me. My stomach tied in knots watching her throw herself at Gary. They had spent evenings dancing at the local club on her summers working at a golf course. They had done more than dance together.

"Have you ever been on a clothing optional cruise before?" Linda asked.

I shook my head dividing my attention between her and Flor. "Nope, brand new experience for me. I feel like I fell down a bunny hole and nothing makes sense anymore," I cast a heartsick eye at the sparks jumping between my supposed fiancee and Gary.

"So you're not into couple swapping or anything like that?"

I shook my head and stole a glance at Flor. Linda caught me doing it.

"Your chances of falling down a bunny hole are pretty good around here," she retorted with a giggle.

It took me a moment to remember what we were talking about.

The double arc of freckles across Linda's breasts fascinated me. I would have enjoyed a lovely evening kissing every freckle if I wasn't engaged. I liked her hair, too. She wore it down where it did a lovely job of cascading over her shoulders and delicately curling around the pale skin of her exquisite breasts.

"Is this your first cruise on a clothing optional boat?" I asked.

"We're here because there was space available for us on this cruise. I didn't even know it was clothing optional until I sauntered past the pool area. That was quite an eye opener. I would have packed lighter if I had."

Her blue eyes twinkled at her little joke.

"You seem to have adapted," I said with a grin glancing at her breasts. They were a lot fuller than I had guessed them to be. I wanted to reach out and give them a squeeze. They were right there beside me begging to be stroked. A part of me also wanted to show Flor that I could be just as obtuse as she was.

Linda wiggled her shoulders to get her breasts moving.

"You mean these old things? I went down to dinner fully clothed and discovered that I had to wear a lot less if I was going to blend in."

"Old isn't a fit description," I added, "luscious would be a better descriptor."

"Are you flirting with me?" she asked tilting her head to one side.

"Yes, I w..."

"Gary and I are going to the disco. Want to come?" Flor interjected.

"I'll stay with Linda," I replied kicking into awkward dancing boyfriend mode, "there's no way you're going to get me into that loud, crowded and sweaty place."

Flor was throwing herself at another man like she had done so many times before. I glared at her ready to yell, but held my tongue. Breaking up with your fiancee on the first day of an eleven day cruise seemed suicidal. My second thought was that I had brought her out here to see if she could remain loyal to me in a target rich environment, and I was getting my answer sooner than I thought.

I glanced over at Linda to see if she was amenable to the idea of staying with me. She nodded and smiled.

"I want to come," the actress said as she popped to her feet. Her breasts didn't wiggle at all.

"Count me in," said the sound man standing. His beer belly did jiggle a little.

Soon Linda and I were sitting at the table alone. She frowned at me.

"It's okay to say it's none of my business, but I don't understand your and Flor's relationship."

"She's my fiancee," I replied with a smile that did not reflect my growing queasiness.

"Why aren't you all lovey-dovey like engaged couples are supposed to be?"

"We've known each other since our Freshman year in college. We passed through that hands-on stage a long time ago. We have similar backgrounds. We glommed on to each other in college and have kept together ever since."

"I'm not buying it," she said shaking her head, "you're intelligent, so you've figured out that Gary is a man-whore who works very hard to bed every woman he meets yet you let your fiancee go off with him. Something's not right. There should be a little more caveman in you and a little less urban sophisticate."

I stood and grabbed her glass.

"I'll get us fresh drinks. Answers to philosophical questions require alcohol."

When I returned Linda was looking at me with a tight smile on her face.

"I figured it out. You're testing her, aren't you? But I have no idea why you would do that."

"Am I that transparent?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Not to most people, for instance, I doubt Flor has figured it out," she sipped her gin and tonic, "she's too much into her game to suspect that you're playing your game within her game. She maneuvered Gary into asking her if she wanted to go to the disco and she was happy that you didn't want to go. By the way, she strikes me as a bit domineering. Are you a submissive?"

I shook my head. "Not at all. What's your read on me?" I asked.

Linda frowned at me. "You're not weird. I see you more as unhappy. You know you have a right to be happy, and Flor's wandering eye is making you very unhappy."

"Do you promise to not tell Flor?" I asked.

"I have no stake in what's going on between you two, and I want to keep it that way."

"Flor goes through boyfriends like a teacher goes through roll call. I've seen dozens come and go. She proposed that we marry a few months ago, but she never says she loves me. I've loved her for a long time, but I will not become another bauble on her charm bracelet. If I cannot trust her, I don't want her. I will not buy her an engagement ring until I know I can."

As I said it, I realized that those were my feelings. I had never thought them through before.

"So you take her on a clothing optional cruise? I don't understand. Do you want her to fail? Why don't you tell her to take a flying hike instead? It would be a lot cheaper."

I had never considered that I might be subconsciously trying to get rid of Flor. While I had worried about Flor's commitment to me, I had never examined my commitment to her. I had been wild about her once upon a time, but did I still love her or had she become a habit that allowed me to avoid the hard work of finding the love of my life? Being an introvert and a nerd, I could see myself being lulled into that trap. There were things about Flor that made me very unhappy, but was it enough that my unconscious wanted me to walk away from her?

"Are you in the habit of asking annoying questions that strike right at the heart of the matter?" I asked shaking my head and faking annoyance.

Linda held up her left hand displaying her unadorned ring finger.

"I studied journalism in college. You now know the reason why there are no rings on this hand? My brash style drives men off. Give me time and I'll work my magic on you."

"So no man in your life?"

"Nope," she shook her head, "I work in an industry full of shallow people and mega-egos. Everyone including myself is looking for the next big thing, or we're trying to revive a failing career in an industry with too many people vying for too few jobs. It's not fertile ground for developing close, emotional relationships. I like to think that I'm not as shallow as the people I work with, but I worry I'm fooling myself."

She frowned, looked down and idly sloshed her drink in her half empty glass. The movement made her breasts move in a most enchanting way. I resisted the urge to stroke them.

"Are you in the habit of asking annoying questions that strike right at the heart of the matter?" she asked looking up at me with a wry smile.

When I started laughing, she frowned.

"Why are you laughing?"

"We seem to share the same problem. We tell the truth when we should be lying."

Linda reached out and placed her hand atop mine. When she looked up into my eyes I saw attraction? Conflict? Maybe a bit of wariness thrown into the mix?

"I need to say good night. The drinks are hitting me hard and you're an engaged man. Besides, I'm like a duck out of water around here," she declared looking around at all the exposed flesh.

"Would you like me to walk you to your room?" I offered.

"Too much temptation," she said waving me off.

With that she pecked me on the cheek, rose and disappeared through the door. I enjoyed her company and she had a cute bubble butt, too. I vacillate between the sublime and the venial like most men.

I felt no guilt admiring Linda. If Flor could throw me over for another man on the first day of our cruise, then I could throw her over for another woman. Was I being childish? You bet. Did I feel guilty? Not at all.

Flor staggered into the room waking me.

"What time is it?" I croaked from under the sheet as she stripped.

"It's after 1:30. I'm sweaty and exhausted so I'm taking a shower. We danced until they shut down the disco."

I checked my watch on the nightstand once she had stepped into the shower. It was after four in the morning. A little while later, her nude body slipping into bed woke me as she cuddled next to me.

DAY 2

I arose at seven and grabbed a quick breakfast at the forward buffet before wandering down to the business center. Sooner or later I had to confront Flor about why she lied about the time she came in. I could only think of one reason for her to be out that late, but first I had to get my translation done.

I entered the business center with two cups of coffee in my hands.

"Look who's here," I said with a grin as I plunked down one of the cups on her desk, "I see the dress code has relaxed since yesterday."

"What's this?" she asked pointing at the cup.

"I took a chance that you'd be here and that you drank coffee."

"So, all I had to do was wiggle my boobs at you last night, and now you're my love slave?" she asked with an impish grin as she pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I did enjoy your wiggling breasts last night, but I would have brought you a cup of coffee even if you hadn't wiggled them. By the way, if I'm going to obsess, it will be over your amazing hair and lovely freckles."

"Well, thank you very much," her blush colored her cheeks and her upper chest.

"By the way, I heard that dress code joke you made and I'm choosing to ignore it since your naughty bits are hanging out too."

She pointed at my half inflated dick which looked bigger than normal. I worried that it might rise to full inflation if she paid too much attention to it so I got to work. Things progressed well despite an alluring naked woman working across from me who unconsciously stroked the inside of her thighs as she pored over her writing. After a couple of hours, she left and I was able to get some work done. When I finished up my translation, I faxed the data back to civilization via satellite phone. I was cleaning up my work space when Linda stormed in and threw herself in the chair behind her desk.

"Bad news?" I asked.

She leaned forward with her elbows on the desk and her arms supporting her head. I did like the way her breasts rested on the desk. For the first time in my life I wanted to be a desk blotter when I grew up.

"You know what my dumb ass sound man did last night? He got himself drunk, picked a fight, and got his nose and arm broke," the words exploded from her, "this trip is going to Hell in a hen basket. I swear, I have to watch everything my crew does with a fine tooth comb."

She pinched the top of her nose with her forefinger and thumb.

I waited to see if it would occur to her what she had said. When the metaphorical light bulb did not come on, I ignored it.

"I'm screwed. How in the Hell am I going to film travelogues at each port when I have no sound man?"

She shook her head.

"I can help you," I shrugged, "I know zero about recording sound, but if you show me how, I can do the job."

I'm not sure why I volunteered. I guess it was to demonstrate that I could have a life without Flor after she had abandoned me. Who the Hell am I kidding? I did it to piss Flor off. She could spend tomorrow looking for me on the ship while I toured the island with two beautiful women and one fiancee stealing jerk ball face.

It might also have been because her full enchanting breasts swayed with her every single move. In my mind that was an equally good reason.

Linda brightened.

"You'd do that for me?"

I nodded then frowned.

"Will Gary be there?"

"Of course. You'll be recording both him and Siobhan," Linda frowned at me, "Why?"

"I suspect that he and Flor fucked last night."

Linda bit her lower lip then nodded. She had made up her mind about something.

"I can tell you for a fact that they did," she replied with a sympathetic sigh.

"How do you know?"

"I'm going to hate losing you as a sound man, but I can't have you and Gary coming to blows during a shoot," she leaned forward, "Gary is one of those classless douche bags who brags about his sexual conquests. I listened to a blow by blow description of his nighttime tryst with Flor over breakfast this morning. Sorry."

"I'll be damned," I said hitting the desk with my fist, "I suspected that was what happened. She couldn't even wait a full twenty-four hours before she threw me over?"

I stood and began pacing the room.

"So are you still willing to work for me, or should I come up with a plan B? The crutch of the matter is that I still need a sound man."

"I'm not mad at you," I said shaking my head, "I promise I won't pick a fight with Gary, but I might push him out of the helicopter once we're in flight."

"Don't even say that," Linda grabbed her head and grimaced, "I've got to return to Orlando with enough footage for eight twenty minute episodes."

"Okay," I held up my hands, "I promise no violence, but I refuse to stop thinking evil thoughts about him."

Linda stood and wrapped her arms around me giving me a kiss on the cheek. I was very aware of her breasts crushed against my chest and how our naked hips touched briefly. I had no idea what to do with my hands. Finally I placed them on the small of her back and fought the strong urge to slide them down to her ass.

"Thank you," she said from the depths of our hug.

When she stood back, she glanced at my crotch.

"Aw-w-w, you like me. You really, really like me," Linda giggled before tapping my boner with her finger and watching it bounce, "remind me not to do that in public."

I stood there speechless while blushing.

After lunch, I went looking for Flor, but never found her. When it became obvious that I wasn't going to, I decided upon self-destruction and ordered the first of many bourbon and waters while I contemplated Flor's fickleness. She had set my turtle body atop that metaphoric totem pole again. I drank heavily to wash the bitterness from my mind vowing to watch the waves until oblivion set in. Linda found me after dinner not far from my goal. She sat nude beside me and waited for me to talk. I liked seeing her nude. Her waxed groin looked so inviting. She looked so ripe and luscious.

"There's so little booze in these shipboard drinks that I can drink all afternoon and still not have a buzz on," I turned to Linda, "Flor is nowhere to be found. She's in Gary's room; I know it."

"What are you going to do when you find her?" Linda asked, "I'm diabolically opposed to any violence."

I shrugged, "I'm not going to yell at her or get violent if you're worried about that. I do want to know why she abandoned me since I'm the one paying for her trip. I would expect loyalty from her even if I can't expect love."

Linda tugged me to my feet.

"Let's get some food in you. Drinking alone all day isn't good for your body or your mind."

We ended up at the 24/7 buffet where she loaded my plate full of protein and starch.

"Are you still willing to be my sound man tomorrow?" she asked while sipping her coffee as I ate. She spilled a little coffee into her lap which she wiped up with her napkin. I resisted offering to lick it up. While she showed concern for me, I was thinking of ravishing her. I was barely sober enough to hold my tongue. The image of me physically holding my tongue to keep from licking up the coffee in her lap made me giggle.

Linda looked at me like I was drunk or seriously deranged.

The dinner rush was over and we sat alone in the gathering gloom as sunset darkened the room.

"Of course, what else am I going to do in Aruba without a date?"

"You've got to be kidding. There's a thousand unattached nude women looking to get lucky on this cruise. Surely you can find one to spend your time with."

I had been drinking all afternoon, but still had sense enough to know that I was sitting with a beautiful naked woman and I wanted to spend my time with her.

"I've never been one who picks up women," I whined "I'm not drawn to them because they have a nice figure or they know how to party. I'm drawn to smart, competent women like you."

Linda ignored my compliment. She noticed it because she raised her eyebrows, got control of herself and pushed on.

"I'm calling bullshit on that. You liked my breasts just fine last night."

"They are as beautiful now as they were last night," I admitted glancing down before I could catch myself, "but I met you before I met them and I was impressed with you while you still had clothes on and that pencil stuck in your hair."

"You're drunker than you think you are," she pointed her finger at me, "and I refuse to be your rebound lover. I will not get between you and Flor. Now finish up your mashed potatoes. You need something to soak up all that booze."

The booze made me stupid and bold, a bad combination.

"I know you're attracted to me, I can see it in your eyes."

"Of course I'm attracted to you, dumbass. You're intelligent, and charming as Hell when you're sober, but you're also engaged, and I will not fool around with an engaged man. It's immoral and bad Karma," she tapped her finger by my plate, "now finish your dinner," she said in a motherly tone.

I did as ordered.

"Let's get you outside and walking. You need to burn off alcohol."

She pulled me to my feet.

Outside, a tropical evening free of heat and humidity drew a crowd out onto the main deck to enjoy the cool breeze. Half of the ship had decided to stroll in the tropical gulf air. Many still wore only sandals, but there seemed to be a trend of people getting back to wearing bikini bottoms or shorts. I was content to free ball for the evening. That made Linda and I a matched set.