All Comments on 'A New Coworker'

Good first story.

I would not have put it in romance, rather erotic couplings which this was. Romance category is usually longer stories of romance, love, relationships.

Keep writing and LMK if you need a beta read before publishing again.

Nice, but too damn short !!!!

Not bad, kinda could be a better plot than 95% of porn movies… Beyond that though this is more an erotic encounter than a romance, romance needs character development. Romance also needs some dialogue 😇. Go look at the Always series by LKilKenny or “The Future is in the Air” by WillDevo, great examples character development. I bet there is a lot more you can do… Daddy, what happens at lunch, is it love, is it infatuation? If you do a part 2 add this in, but give them a chance, say Amber is taking the summer before going back for Senior year in college. Do some backtracking, what’s up with how he is down there, if down there the whole time how’d he run into Malcom so much to hate him already? I see lots of potential, I bet you can do a lot better!

Well written, just missing a story line.

Wrong category

That's it??? No beginning and no end - just a bit of gratuitous sex with all the preparation for a real story that never materialized. 2*

Good start

Needs more of a build up.

Needs to have something come after the erotic "meeting"

Malcolm, Why is he in the story?

Do they continue a love affair?

Many ways you could go with more parts.

I give it 4 stars with hope that more will come.

First story! Good job. Keep going.

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