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All Comments on 'A Night at the Club'
by Aboutlastnight
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- 4 Comments
KristieBechirover 8 years agoFriendly tip
Second-person narratives rarely work. It makes no sense to tell a person what just happened to them. I know a lot of readers stop reading as soon as they see "You walked into the room", etc.
Anonymousover 8 years agoA night at the club
"You walked into the room..." and I left.
We're not THERE. This makes your story very difficult.
Anonymousover 8 years agoTime for a new girlfriend.
She's a slut & your a cuck in waiting. With any luck she'll bring home a nice little STD for you.
palewriterover 8 years ago2nd person sucks and not in a good way
it offers no willing suspension of disbelief. The "You" is not me.
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