All Comments on 'A Normal Affair'

Why stretch out a story of infidelity when t can be done very effectively in 2 pages?

I liked the fact it was….normal. A bit over the top sex wise; but he didn’t get the hottest supermodel and sell his company to Apple for a billion dollars while his ex became a drug addicted prostitute.

All in all, a good story.

Became too much of a slog after a while. It did bore me a bit. I liked it as nothing bad happened. They all ended up happy with their choices.

Scores 3/5

Incredibly BORING, gave up on page 3, can't keep the wife happy, but has women after him left and right when they hear he may be single?

Everything is just so fucking civil, which only goes to prove this is a fantasy site.

Rather boring and long.

Good. Not everything has to be BTB

Nice story until it went off the tracks at the end.

I feel like I just read two completely different stories. One story about a guy’s marriage breaking up and another about swapping sex partners on a yacht. The first story was much better.

Please stop pretending to be a man in your stories. You are a girl and you write like one. You can't begin to think like a man or write a story like one. Your women are all fucked up in the head and your men are all weak and pathetic. Try something crazy like writing a story from a woman's point of view.

I couldn't read past page two. The husband is a pussy. Your wife straps you with a litter of kids, cheats and you're all, "where did I go wrong", " we just grew apart". No, the slut cheated alot. He's s ad cuck.

The author held the story together for about 3 pages then she jumped the shark. Too bad. She had an interesting concept going

What a weird story. It’s almost as if you just met human beings last month and this is your take on how we act

God job in describing an utterly selfish and disgusting woman.

Not so god in the reactions from the cheated spouse

Starting out the story was ok. Nothing spectacular but, I was enjoying it. I actually really liked the fact that Margie felt bad that her actions had caused Brett to behave out of character and be less of a good person than he normally is. The fact that they still felt fondly towards each other and were willing to try being friends isn't something you normally see in a LW story. There needed to be some editing to make the story flow better and read more easily but, it was ok.

Then it went completely off the rails starting with Brett catching Victoria being fucked in the warehouse.

That scene. Derek showing up in the hospital room to reveal Margie is a gangbang queen and then having Brett & Maddie turn into swingers seemed completely out of place based on the character and plot development up to that point.

Several loose ends not wrapped up. Brett & Victoria were going to get tested for STDs after their first time unprotected. Apparently never did. Based on the things Derek said to him it probably would have been a good idea. We never find out if Derek was just trying to get a rise out of Brett or if Margie really did gangbangs.

When he said that Brett never figured that out. That seemed to imply she was like that when she dated Derek in highschool. Since Margie was 17 when she had the twins that would have meant Derek had her doing gangbangs when she was like 15. Hope that wasn't the author's intent. There was really no way she had been doing gangbangs while she was cheating. All their stuff was being done at work. There were no nights working late, no girls nights out, nothing suspicious on her phone.

Having Margie and Derek end up happily ever after doesn't fit either. She realizes that when he said he didn't want kids he just meant kids with her. Him as a married man convinces her to cheat in her husband of 20 years. They were having sex and doing lunches during the work day, no way they got to know each other enough for a serious relationship. Then when Derek is talking to Brett he says he's going to keep Margie so busy doing gangbangs she'll forget all about her "brats". A more realistic version would be she moves in with Derek and within a year she gets tired of him pimping her out to all his buddies and ex-teammates leaves him and finds a decent guy to settle down with.

The whole FWB turns into swinging with Maddie for two years. Someone who just went through his wife cheating and seeing a video of her having sex with the guy has no problem watching his new girlfriend having sex with others???

Even though Brett & Victoria hadn't defined their relationship and hadn't talked about being exclusive. Having her randomly fuck another co-worker at work where Brett could find them doesn't track either. She was described to us as a really good person and friend who's over the top with her flirting. She had made it obvious that she wanted a relationship with Brett if he came back in the market. Then, as much as she really likes Brett she doesn't go visit him in the hospital after he's injured as a result of her actions?

The random introduction of Marc Levalliere to the story was entertaining.

I don’t know how to rate this. It is like someone’s mom’s recipe for a pie made of all the Thanksgiving leftovers. It was a typical the ex-boyfriend comes back and suddenly every female in the betrayed husbands life wants him but he is free the fuck all the women because they adore him but allow an open relationship. Oh and Dereck the former boyfriend shows up for 2 paragraphs of Alpha / cuck but he can’t pull it off and Margie is going to wear Derecks balls for a necklace then they are not mentioned again. Why not add the ex-wife to the rotation? Then the epilogue was an entirely new story. Um I got lost in all the naked bodies and how suddenly all his friends were naked and swingers and ok with it. And Maddie wasn’t long term but who cares everybody was naked. At major plot points whoever was there got naked. At the end I think I have blended this story with most of the other thousand similar stories but like mom’s Thanksgiving leftovers it was all good but unidentifiable.

Uh . . . what was the point, or the plot? You characters change character and personalities like some kind of cyborgs with different subprograms kicking in as the plot needs people loving, then cheating, then fucking, then gang banging, then group sex, then rinse and recycle? I hope it worked for you. I had to skim over the most pointless side stories or irrelevant tangents that after the third time you character kind of says, "Well, back to the story, . . ." I just gave up. I kept waiting for something to happen, well, beside fucking. Maybe this story should have been in Erotic Couplings, Group Sex, Romance? Well, whatever, thanks for the effort.

Well written story, but I think you added one woman too many to the characters life. I don't think any of them were given enough time, especially the one he ended with. None of them seemed relevant to the plot.

Really liked this stories direction and then it fell totally of the sled.. Sex at times was hot but the husbands pursuers all turned into wanton sluts. I assume Matt didn’t want primary custody as any evidence of a.gang bang would have delivered an unfit mother ruling. All in all this story. As hikacked after his fall and stayed scattered till the d d. One last point.. The Roger failed to even crease the surface of the kids character.

Too long to be worth much

Wonderful story. 10 Stars

I liked it. That probably doesn't mean much to most people. But oh well. 5stars

it was well written

but I stopped reading when maddy and mc's swinging started

too much fornication for me to be realistic

thanks kiki_goodman

Yeah the ending turned a complete 360 starting when he left the hospital. Not that believable what transpired even for a story

Lost interest. Two stars.

I liked it, and found it to be a good story, with a plot twist or two. Yes they married young, but that does happen in real life too. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't. This was one of those stories that you had to read until the end to find out who Brett actually ended up with. I only say that as he was originally married to Maggie, then he was with Victoria, then Maddy, and finally Kara. And that wasn't including the swapping/swinger parties with their group of friends.

I gave it 5 stars for the great story, with a different take on having an affair, and how life progresses along after divorce. Thank You for sharing it with us.

Okay!

4

What a sorrow pice of dung this Dereck must have been, bedding a twat that had thrown eight buns, imagine that ruined bod and thinking he‘s qualified for god gift for Victoria‘s Secrets Models. LOL

Captcha

Ending was poor. He has the most shit taste in women

Points for the iconic villain, Marc LaValliere, cameo; otherwise, this one is worth skipping.

Interesting story went wtf all of a sudden. Still worth a read for sure. Moral of the story-don’t get serious with a woman who who let a man treat her like shit. If she acts like she lacks worth, believe her.

Or maybe everything after the concussion was delirium

I found this story scattered and unbelievable. I couldn't get into it.

The hot to trot woman at his workplace did not work, and made his betrayal by his wife meaningless.

Mostly pleasant tale with only a few rough spots. All in all, a nice tale.

What the fuck!? She decided the get revenge on the workplace fling who never promised him anything but is fine with the wife and the asshole? Really? One or the other I can accept but this is ridiculous.

rofl 8 kids? when did they find the time to fuck each other let alone fuck anyone else. both should be in person for crimes against humanity. population is bad enough without unresponsible brain-dead morons having 8 kids. guessing they were those ppl that dont believe in birth control

Sure, she got a makeover, new boobs, tummy tuck and vaginal rejuvenation,

9 kids and she has the money to do that. eh think u messed up a bit giving ur characters 8 kids

2 pages of text isnt an Epilogue its just finishing the story. again back to the kids, 8 kids and they were barely mentioned lol. have a feeling those were some very neglected kids

While the story went all over the hetero-normative sexual spectrum, it does feel some what real due to the inconsistencies. Or is a story trying to pseudo-emulate the life of a positive version of Ronny the limo driver(F-list NY-Vegas Celeb,Stern-Crew).

Jokes aside this story is another reminder for all men, if you place a women on a pedestal don't get surprised she looks down on you.

When women place men on pedestals atleast men have the upper body strength to pull her up.

I enjoyed this tale. The presentation was good and the moral contrast between Brett and most of the other characters was presented well. Naturally the dichotomy between what finally settled down with and the relationship he lived (wife) or past by was inconsistent. His wife, the mate that he was going to raise his kids, was a gang bang slut.. The first stray, Vicky and the stronger relationship Maddy, were facilitated by his sex MO or something. The "fuck it" attitude when Derek taunted him with "slut Margie's" proclivity for multiple partners, gave a vibe of untruth to the way he is built...morally and parent wise.

You should look up the definition of "epilogue."

Too much of a wimp for me.He should have thrown Margie out when he learnt about her affair with Derek.How could he take Virginia's panties off twice the first time he shagged her?.Like wise how can Margie get her tubes tied twice.?

Boring and stretched unnecessarily

A tad too long. This could have wrapped up on page 4.

DOL

hit page 3 and realized yep rest of this crap show is gonna suck.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!

8 kids? Okay, two are adults and out of the house, still, six is a lot. As it was said before, she should had her mind occupied with them 24/7, either that, or she is a terrible mother.

And a lot of other illogical stuff, like her lover behaviour, one minute he is a top tier asshole and then he became a true gent? Why? Because woman who he allegedly treated like slut told him so? Yeah, right.

2/5

Want Margie’s story!

Good job, thanks for sharing your work!

Swapping ruined it why bother with relationship if you are going to sleep around

Good right thru the leaving the hospital, then instead of emotion, problems with custody, divorce, etc. IT changed to an unrealistic sex story.

Very warm, skipping over the waves version of Femdom agitprop. Naturally happy people will like this make-the-best-of-things, people-are-people approach.

I think I lost like 40 points of I.Q. after reading that.

I hope these people aren't guarding our shores tonight! Whoo! 5* for the fun!

It went downhill after the hospital scene..

This was so disgustingly sugary feminine in all manners that I was actually trying to search for a male protagonist in all 5 pages. Maybe Derek is the closest? Is that what female writers fantasise? That they get their cake and suck it too? Just goes to show how truthful is the Women form Venus and Men form Mars concept!