A Park Affair

I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop him, he was much too large for me to resist him. My mind scrambled to find a way to tamp things down. For the first time I was afraid of being raped-- by my own husband. Maybe I wasn't thinking straight, but it was the only thing that came to mind.

"Well, it's about time you showed some real interest in these," as I placed my hands under my breasts and pushed them up. I saw a look of confusion on his face. He stopped, his hands went down to his sides as his eyes remained glued on my heaving chest.

I swallowed hard, it was taking every bit of strength for me to take a step toward him. I planted a kiss on his cheek, my stomach protesting, then forced a smile. "Finish watching your race, then come in and treat me as your wife. I went off the pill a month ago if you want to know."

I watched as he sat back down on the sofa, his temper had settled. I was sure he didn't even think my comment about Joanne made a difference-- as far as he was concerned he'd been forgiven by the Lord. Well, I wasn't the Lord and the memory of them at the sofa was fresh in my mind. He was going to hell as far as I was concerned and I knew he would have company.

He looked at me, his face stoic. "This will be over in about seven minutes. Glad you came to your senses."

His words made me want to heave. I rushed down the hall, into our bedroom, pulled out a suitcase and jammed underwear, a bra, some blouses, a few pairs of slacks, and two pairs of shoes into it. I slipped out the door into the garage as he stared at the TV. I didn't have much, but it would be enough for a few days until I could come back for more. The asshole wasn't ever going to touch me again.

I rushed to my car and was away as fast as I could go, the tires squealing as I drove off. My last look was of him standing in front of the garage in my rear-view mirror-- I had gotten away. I got as far as the park and pulled onto a side street and called my parents. They lived about two hours away where my husband wasn't likely to go. After a minute to settle myself, I called and told them I was coming to spend the night and would leave early for work in the morning. I Explained I would tell them what was going on when I got there.

I started driving and felt my hands tremble as I gripped the steering wheel. He had intended on taking me regardless of what I wanted and the fear was now manifesting itself. I settled down after a while and the drive to my parents' home was enough time for me to reflect on my three years with him. Three full years of my life down the drain because I wasn't mature enough to know better-- our relationship had gone bad after no more than a year. We had disagreed on one thing after another, at first small things, then major things-- like having children, and having money in a savings account.

I spilled everything to my parents, well... not everything. The pistol and Robb I omitted not wanting to admit I had been so desperate. They sat silent and let me talk and when I was finished told me they understood and would help me in any way they could. I took my suitcase into the guest bedroom and sat down on the bed. I opened the suitcase to see what I had selected in my haste to get out of the house hoping there was the right combination to wear to work the next day.

I slept poorly, tossing and turning, thinking I had screwed my life up big time. I had sought revenge on by husband by sleeping with a total stranger and realized I would never use it against him. I didn't want to look like that kind of woman. He had his righteous Christian woman and the Lord had forgiven him. What did I have now? I felt asleep and jerked up with a start when the alarm went off.

Chapter 5 Freudian Slip?

Wendy

I drove to work and stumbled into the office half awake. I struggled through the day and realized I hadn't made arrangements for a place to stay for the night. It didn't make sense to drive all the way back to my parents' house again. I hadn't closed my savings account, or made it a joint account after we married-- now happy I hadn't. I went to the ATM and withdrew enough money for the week to stay in a cheap motel. It would do for the time being and I decided I wasn't going to go back for my clothes either-- I'd shop for what I needed. The account was healthy enough to support me for a while, so at least I felt better about that.

After work I drove to the cheapest place I knew, committing for one night. I walked into the room, put my suitcase on the chair, and fell exhausted onto the bed. I woke up three hours later feeling hungry and decided to walk down the street to a fast food place for a salad. I had put my phone on silent and when I looked at it found there were multiple calls, and text messages from my husband. I deleted all of them and blocked his number. No sense in talking with him, he could do that through my lawyer, and I'd find one before the end of the week.

The week went along and the women at work knew something was up. I finally revealed I'd left my husband and was living in a motel. One of the single women offered me a room in her apartment saying she didn't use it for anything other than storing a few boxes of stuff. I accepted her offer and moved in two days later after buying a used single bed and bedding to make it up from a thrift shop. I needed to stretch my money as far as I could not knowing how long it would be before I could end my marriage.

Clara was a godsend, she was always such a happy person, her personality was exactly what I needed, and I found my mood improved as the days went by. We shared expenses for food, so that helped too. The biggest change after a few days was I didn't feel stressed as much as I had before. I didn't realize how much it was taking out of me having to deal with my husband day in and day out.

I found a lawyer and gave him the go ahead to do whatever was needed. He told me if my husband didn't contest the filing it could be done in a month at a modest cost. Under state law I was entitled to half of our real assets and funds held in joint accounts at the time of the filing.

A week later I had diverted my paycheck to my new checking account. I was feeling better about the decision I had made when my husband showed up in the lobby of the building asking to see me. My lawyer told me it was best not to talk with him unless someone were with me, even if it were not him. I told the receptionist to tell him I was in a meeting for the rest of the day. I found out later he left after a few minutes saying he would try to see me later obviously unhappy.

I was eating supper with Clara when my phone rang, it was my mother. I decided to ignore it and call her back after we finished eating. I walked into my bedroom for privacy, went to my contacts, and touched the screen.

A male voice answered, thinking it was my dad who had picked up.

"Hi Dad, this is Wendy. How are you?"

There was a long pause, then."Wendy, this is Robb. Are you okay?"

Surprised, I stammered out a reply, then regained my composure. "How are you?"

"Good, work and doing the volunteer stuff, nothing unusual. But, why are you calling me?"

I didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him I hadn't meant to call him. I was trying to come up with a plausible explanation when he offered. "You called my number by mistake didn't you?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I never took your number out of my contacts."

"I understand. So, things are going well with you and your husband?"

"No. I'm in the process of getting a divorce. I'm living with a friend in her apartment until I get things settled. I hope my lawyer will have good news for me by next week."

That's great, ugh, well... not great news...

"Robb, it's okay. I understand it's awkward."

"Good, it's good to know you're moving your life forward and you're safe. Well, I'll let you get back to whomever you meant to call."

"Thanks." I replied not knowing exactly what else to say. I saw the call end and this time pressed the number for my mother: Roberta, not Robb. I would remove Robb's information after talking with her.

My Mother answered and told me my husband had called her asking if she knew where I was living. I felt my heart go into my stomach. He was stilling looking for me.

"Honey, I told him I didn't know where. I won't repeat what he said, it would only upset you. Your father and I think you're doing the right thing. Be strong, see this through, and when things settle down you'll find a man that's good for you."

That was my mother, always looking for the silver lining. We talked for another half hour and then I put my phone down. I would call my lawyer tomorrow and see if he had anything to tell me. I opened my contacts to delete Robb's number, my finger almost touching the screen when I pulled it back. I probably should have thanked him again for helping me. I'd call him back, then delete it after we finished talking. I selected his name, waited for the dial tone, and for him to pick up.

"Robb here."

"Robb, it's Wendy again."

There was a pause. "You're alright aren't you?"

I laughed. "Yes, I'm fine. I thought I should call you back and thank you again for helping me."

"Okay, you know I'm pleased you're alright. You sound good, I can almost see your smile. I remember what you look like when you wear one."

I felt myself smiling like a fool, I remembered when I had smiled at him that way. Memoires flooded my mine and I felt myself go warm remembering being in bed with him the following morning. There was a long pause between us, then I started to say something just has he did, we both stopped, another pause.

"Go ahead, what did you have to say," he offered.

"I don't know, what did you want to say?"

Another pause, I felt myself tense wondering now if I should have called him.

"Wendy, are you free tonight?"

"Yes. Well not free, but reasonable," I replied flippantly.

I heard him laugh. "Reasonable works for me. How about I come and pick you up and we can go out for a coffee."

"Robb, I'm still married. I want to, but I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"I understand, it makes sense, sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking straight."

"Robb, I would say yes otherwise. Really, I would."

Chapter 6 Second Thoughts

Wendy

We talked for almost an hour and I found myself laughing at his lame jokes. Though he did a pretty good job at laughing at mine too. After we hung up I felt wonderful. He had laughed at my favorite lawyer joke: How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof? He had made a few guesses, and when I gave him the punch line: It depends on how thin you slice them. He laughed, then continued to chuckle as we talked. I felt so good knowing I had entertained him. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time.

"Well, you look like you're in a good mood, Clara grinned as I walked out into the living room and sat down. Who was that you were talking to?"

"A guy I met at the park a while ago."

"How well do you know him? It sounded as if he has a good sense of humor to make you laugh like that."

The question jolted me and my mind tried to parse the question.

How well did I know him? I didn't know him that well, I mean we... I had him...

"Come on, it can't be that difficult to answer," Clara chided with a smile.

"I've seen him one time, he gave me his number, and I accidently dialed it instead of my mother's."

"And you talked with him for how long?"

"I don't know, a while. He asked me out for coffee and I told him no."

"So, once things are settled with your husband are you going to call him again and see if he'll take you out?"

"Really, I don't know, I haven't given it any thought." Then I realized I hadn't deleted his contact information as I had planned to do. I didn't want to second guess myself as I had enjoyed talking with him-- I decided to leave him in my contacts.

"You know you could ask him out, you're not that old fashioned are you? I mean you could have him over to hang out."

"I suppose I could once I have my own apartment and my husband is history."

"You know I don't mind having you here."

"I know, thank you. But, I will have to move on with my life and getting my own apartment seems important in that respect."

Robb

After ending my talk with Wendy I took a root beer out of the fridge and sat down with a bag of pretzels. I was surprised when the first call came, then disappointed it had been by mistake. She had been honest about it and... well... it was nice to hear her voice. I was engaged in reading when the second call came and after talking for a while it seemed as if she had taken my advice and sought a divorce.

The longer we talked the more relaxed she seemed to be. Making her laugh was delightful as I could see her eyes sparkle while those sweet lips showed a white smile in my mind. The surprise was she had a wonderful sense of humor herself, and I found myself laughing more than I had in a long while. That was when I suggested we have coffee together. When she declined the air went out of the balloon in a whoosh.

When she explained the reason I felt better, she was right of course, she was married. The situation was thankfully different than before and I couldn't help but feel good about it. We kind of ended our talk without really saying goodbye, it was as if she were leaving the door open. I hoped she was and this time my feelings were less than altruistic-- I wanted to feel her body naked against mine again.

Chapter 7 Caving In

Wendy

I was at work two days later having lunch with several of my coworkers and found my mind wandering. It was the second time in as many days Robb had come to mind-- the sound of his laugh in particular.

"Well, that was some smile," Ruby said, bringing me out of my reveille, "I haven't seen you smile like that in weeks, it's nice to see." The others nodded their agreement.

I returned to my desk with a few minutes left before my lunch break was over. I took my phone out and sent a text message to Robb suggesting we meet in the park, then go for coffee if he wasn't busy. I pressed send, my heart beating a little faster. Sure, I was still married, but that didn't mean I couldn't meet a friend, did it?

I was working on a document when my phone vibrated on my desktop. I picked it up hoping it was a response from Robb accepting my proposition. It was! So much for my ability to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon. Though a few minutes later there was another reason too-- my husband had left a message with the receptionist saying he wanted to see me today. I didn't call him back, continuing to take my lawyer's advice. Damn, it seemed as if the day had turned into a mixed bag as my lawyer had called to tell me my husband's lawyer was trying to slow things down.

Robb

I was surprised when I saw the text from Wendy since she had said she was still married and it wasn't a good idea. I wondered now if she were having a problem of some kind. Our last phone call had been comfortable enough until the very end. I hesitated for a few minutes before responding, what did I have to lose? I was already involved with her and once she was divorced there was the chance of continuing our relationship in some fashion-- besides, I wasn't seeing anyone else. I sent a 'yes' and provided a time I would be there. I had to admit I was surprised she wanted to meet at the park, though maybe it was a way for her to deal with what had transpired there-- a way of getting past it.

Wendy

I strolled out of the lobby to my car with a smile of anticipation, surprised at how much I was looking forward to seeing Robb again. It was a fifteen minute drive to the park from work and when I arrived I got out and stretched, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air. I elected to take the bench in the shade of a tree rather than the one in the distance where Robb and I had met first. I didn't need for him to remember the wretched woman he had found that day. I could have suggested another location, but I had to deal with my demons too.

I was sitting watching as people walked, biked, and roller-bladed on the paved path not far away. I closed my eyes and took in the whisper of the leaves in the tree as a gentle breeze hit my skin. It was then I heard a voice and felt myself stiffen-- it was my husband. I had no choice, I turned to face him.

"You didn't make it easy for me to talk to you," he said in a stern voice.

"That's because I don't see a need for us to talk. What I saw was enough to tell me our trial separation hadn't worked; at least not for me. You had your chance and didn't use it. So, just leave me alone, I'm not changing my mind."

"Pastor Davis has agreed to meet with us. I've been praying for our marriage to work, and the Lord has told me I've been forgiven. But, he had to teach me a hard lesson. Wendy, I want you to come home, so we can start over. You're my wife and I want you to honor your commitment."

I just stared at him, honor my commitment to him! I guess it doesn't work in reverse. Maybe I should have prayed to the Lord harder, so he could make me understand, and be forgiving.

"Wendy, I'll give you a few days to pray for us, for our marriage. I'm sure if you ask for guidance he will grant it to you."

I looked at him, trying to project calmness and confidence. "I'm not interested in prayer, Pastor Davis, or you. Tell your lawyer to move forward on the divorce, so we can both move on with our lives. That's all I want. I want this to be finished."

"I just want one thing from you right now, just share a kiss with me so you'll see there is still something between us, that the love given to us by the Lord remains."

Before I could protest he grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him. I resisted, trying to back away knowing I didn't want him touching me. I found the thought of a kiss revolting-- my lips on his wasn't going to happen. I felt a hand come to my other arm and grasp it firmly, then saw him leaning toward me.

"No! Let me go!" I shouted as he closed the distance.

Robb

I was walking into the park looking for Wendy and was certain I saw her sitting on a bench under a tree. Continuing on, I saw a man approach, stand for a moment, then sit down next to her. I was sure I was mistaken now, and turned my gaze to the other benches around the park. I didn't see a lone women sitting anywhere and was thinking she'd been held-up by traffic and hadn't arrived yet. I looked back to where I saw the man and woman sitting just as I heard a shout. I was close enough now I could tell it was Wendy-- she was struggling with the man.

I rushed up to the bench yelling. "Leave her alone, get the hell away from her."

I saw him stop, still holding her arms, to look at me,as I stopped a few feet away. He looked at me surprised.

"This is my wife, get lost. We have things to talk about."

"It doesn't look to me like she wants to talk, or whatever it is you're trying to get out of her."

"I told you, get lost. We'll work this out."

"Okay, here's the way it's going to work. You let go of her, she tells me she wants to talk with you, and I leave. If you don't, I call 911 and get the cops here to sort things out. I don't leave until they get here. Your choice."

I watched as he slowly released her and turned to me with a glare. "This woman is mine, she is my wife, and she knows what it means. She had better understand I deserve another chance and I'm not giving up just because her lawyer talks to mine."

I watched as he turned to Wendy. "I want to talk with you right now, I'm tired of the run arounds. I won't do anything else other than talk."

I looked at Wendy and saw she wasn't happy. Then she nodded.

Wendy

I heard a voice and looked to where it came from and saw it was Robb. My husband released his grip on my arms and I moved to the far end of the bench. I knew my husband wouldn't be aggressive with Robb, I'd seen him back down too often. Still, I was happy to have Robb there as his grip on my arms had been painful. This was the second time he had tried to force himself upon me and I was more fearful than ever before of how he viewed me.