A Park Affair

I decided to talk with him now. Robb would be near and would come to my rescue if my husband tried to take me with him by force-- a real possibility I felt now.

I watched as Robb moved to a bench nearby and sat down as we looked at one another.

"You know that guy?" my husband asked.

"I've talked with him once, now what is it you want to talk about?" My stomach clenched at not having told the truth.

"I want you to come home, meet with Pastor Davis, and agree to meet with some of the Christian women to learn more about how you should behave at home. I know you were raised in a different religion, but you need to practice what our church teaches. I want you to be ready to start a family, so it means getting off birth control-- which you know is against what our church teaches."

I looked him straight in the eye. "Let me get straight to the point. I don't want to be married to you anymore, and I certainly don't want to have your children. If you bother me again I'll seek a restraining order against you. I don't want to do that, so if you agree to the divorce this whole thing will end and we can go our separate ways. I hope you understand I'm not coming back to you."

"You can't mean that, you can't. We have a lot invested in our marriage. No other man will know you the way I have known you."

I laughed. "I wasn't a virgin when I married you. You knew that, now you want to make sure after you there will never be another? You get a little bit stranger each time we talk. I can't help but wonder if you're not reading and talking to the wrong people in your church. I didn't sign up for your brand of religion and version of marriage, at least not the kind you represent now."

"If you seek the comfort of another man while we are married you'll be condemned to hell, you know that. Think about it, I'll give you three days to let me know and if I ever see you with that guy again he'll pay."

I knew my husband was a wuss, he always backed down when it looked as if another guy would touch him.

"Well, make him start paying now. We're going to have coffee together, that's what friends do in the real world."

"So, you admit you were going to meet him here?"

"Why should I lie about it? We have coffee and talk, that's more than I care to do with you. One thing I do know, if you mess with him he'll beat your ass. So, I suggest you get up and walk away and not use your mouth in a way that will get you into trouble-- the cops may have to come to save you otherwise."

My husband glanced towards Robb, then back to me. "He'd better not touch you while you're married."

"He won't touch me unless I want him to, I can trust him. It's too bad I can't say the same thing about you anymore. Do you think it would make any difference to me now anyway?"

"You wouldn't," he glared.

I smiled wickedly, got up from the park bench, and walked toward Robb without a word. I was finished talking, at least with him. It was time for coffee with someone I wanted to spend time with. Let the bastard think whatever he wanted. I would do what felt right for me for a change.

No dating until after the divorce was final was what the lawyers touted--don't leave your home, you remain living there. Bullshit, there was legal and there was common sense. I'd removed myself from the pain living there caused me each and every day-- the only mistake I had made was in not leaving sooner.

I no longer felt connected to my faith. Not that it hadn't been building for a long time, but recent events had simply proven it was all so much hogwash. I could never accept everything from my own religious upbringing and my marriage had simply amplified what I had found difficult to believe.

Pray, pray, and pray some more, the Lord will show you the way. I prayed with my fellow parishioners and the result didn't change what happened. That individual, or those people suffered, and when it didn't change for the better everyone said it was the Lord's will. Have faith, and we would go on to pray again for something else with the same, horrible, result. Not that the Moslems didn't do the same damn thing, they were as screwed up as the Jews I had concluded.

Robb

I watched as Wendy talked with her husband. He glanced over to me several times and when Wendy got up and started walking towards me he stood up, glared hard, then walked away. When Wendy was within a few steps I saw she seemed calm, not upset at all, as if it had been cathartic for her.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. As you might have guessed I wasn't expecting him to be here. He stopped at my office and left a message he wanted to see me today. I didn't see him, or his car when I left the parking lot. I guess he must have followed me. Thank you for coming to my aid again. I'm afraid I'm more trouble than I'm worth."

"Wendy, don't put yourself down, there's no reason for it as far as I can tell. I don't know you well, but I want to have the chance to."

"You don't believe you'll go to hell for spending time with a married woman?" she asked half joking.

"No. I don't believe in things like that as I'm not religious. I guess if I were I wouldn't have helped you in the way you wanted me to when we first met. Does that bother you?" I mean, that I'm not invested in some all-knowing deity?"

"No, in fact, right now I consider it plus. Would you mind if I pay for our coffees? I think I owe you at least that this time," she offered.

"Coffee, no sex?" I smiled with a mischievous look on my face as we started walking toward the coffee shop.

"Would that be a deal breaker, the sex I mean?" she asked earnestly.

"Not at all, I want you to know that what we did the first time isn't what I expected to happen this time. You wanted something to throw in his face when you saw him, but you didn't do it did you?"

Wendy

I was surprised that he would be so perceptive, but he was right. I decided not to use my tryst against him. Not that it didn't come to mind as I sat with my husband. I felt it would reflect more on me in a negative way than him. I also didn't need to provide him with ammunition to use against me if he wanted to contest the divorce. Even meeting Robb this time may have given him something if that was his intention.

"No, but I didn't want to get you involved in this either."

"I'm a big boy, and frankly, I can be stubborn about some things."

We spent over two hours talking after getting coffee. I told him I was going to get my own apartment when I found something I liked. Then I would move the rest of my belongings from home before the divorce was final. I told him I hoped my husband was convinced after our little talk I wasn't coming back to him, and that I wouldn't have to be so careful about seeing him.

We stood next to each other after throwing our paper cups into the trash bin and walked across the street to my parked car. I stood looking at him and felt his hand come to take mine and hold it. The thrill I felt warmed me, my heart beat as if I were a young girl again. Looking up at him I was sure my face flushed red-- but it wore a smile. I so much wanted to kiss him for making me feel so grand.

"Okay if I call you?"

"Any time you want. Thank you for being here for me, good night."

Chapter 8 More Husband Problems

Wendy

I had to admit my husband was being far more aggressive than I had ever seen him before. I hadn't been able to understand his behavior over the past year. He had started to quote Scripture to me more than he had before. I had attempted to talk to him about it and he got defensive, telling me I should pray for guidance. At first, his time with Joanne had seemed innocent enough. I trusted him, I trusted her as far as that went. She was always educating me about my responsibilities as a wife, and after a while I thought they were tag-teaming me.

I didn't expect him to be so persistent in trying to get me to counseling after having ignored me for so long. His behavior was erratic, but not dangerous until our last two encounters. It was like he couldn't accept I was rejecting him like he had rejected me. I hoped he would finally see the light and sign the papers to end our marriage.

Despite my husband's appearance I was in a good mood after spending time with Robb. We had talked about our childhood, relating our most embarrassing moments. Laughing at what we'd done and now considered just plain stupid. It was liberating to be so honest with him. He didn't hold much back, he had a self-deprecating sense of humor that showed how confident he was in himself.

That night I slipped into bed and felt perhaps something good would come out the day afterall. I would call my lawyer tomorrow and tell him about my husband's statement I had three days to return home to him. He hadn't said it in a threatening way and I took it as applying more pressure to get me home where he would have more control over me. I knew what my lawyer was going to say-- I should have stayed in the house.

Robb

I left Wendy and headed home thinking she had a lot on her plate and I didn't need to add to it. I stayed as positive as I could and really liked seeing her laugh-- she had this cute dimple that appeared when she did. I pulled into my parking space, got out, and walked into my apartment to relax for the rest of the evening. I was sitting watching a program on TV when I remembered I had left my lunch containers in the front seat of the car.

I got up knowing if I didn't wash them out they would be really funky by morning. I opened the door to my apartment and saw someone bending down near the rear of my car. I stepped out thinking one of my neighbors had dropped something and was picking it up. It didn't take but a few seconds for me to recognize the shirt the guy was wearing; it was Wendy's husband. I walked down the sidewalk and approached my car without saying anything, and he didn't see me.

I got closer and it must have been the air escaping from the valve that masked my approach. Damn if he wasn't letting the air out of the tire. I glanced at the front tire and found it was already deflated, the wheel almost to the pavement. I walked up behind him and shoved his head hard against the side of the car with all my might. There was the hollow thunk of his skull on the side of the car and he slowly fell off to the side onto the asphalt with a loud groan. I stood and waited for him to recover though I really wanted to kick his face in with my foot.

When he looked up his face was bloodied, his nose bleeding, a look of fear and confusion on his face. He got to his knees and held out his hands.

"Get up and get out before I decide to kick your ass until you can't walk. I don't know what you think you're doing, or why, but if I see you again I'll finish the job."

He stood slowly, wiping the blood from his nose with a handkerchief, glaring, his hands trembling.

"I don't want you seeing my wife."

"So, you think letting the air out of my tires tells me that? I would have guessed it was some bored kid who had done it as a prank. You're stupid and a coward, now get out of here before I change my mind."

I knew Wendy hadn't told him anything about how we met and what we did. I decided to bolster Wendy's position.

"We had coffee, we talked, and I drove home. But, you already know that because you followed me here. My advice to you is to sign the divorce papers and get it over with because she told me it's over with you. Now, I understand why-- you won't even let her have friends to talk to of her own choosing. You're pathetic when it comes right down to it."

I watched as he got into his car and drove off thinking I should have put more of a hurting on him. Now, I wished he had taken a swing at me so I could have wailed on him. I walked into my apartment, found my bicycle pump, walked back to my car, and proceeded to put air into both tires. Wendy didn't want me involved, but after today's events I was more than ever before. I also felt she was worth it.

I didn't dwell on how she had come to marry him. I had come close to making the same kind of mistake myself and still felt the pain. I knew how much infidelity hurt and I hadn't been married for two years before finding out as she had. I was convinced after we talked today she was a wonderful person who wanted something better out of life just as I did.

Wendy

Clara and I had breakfast together and I told her about what had happened at the park. She sat silent for a while before speaking.

"Are you going to call your lawyer today and tell him it's time to end this?"

"Yes, I think so. My husband wants to apply pressure to make me change my mind, so I think its time I do the same thing. I'm going to threaten him with a restraining order if he comes near me again. No more being nice thinking he's going to be rational about this, he isn't going to be."

"Wendy, I want you to stay living here with me until this whole thing is over. It's safer for you and it saves both of us money, not to mention I like your company."

"Thank you, I'll stay. It won't hurt to save both of us money and frankly, I like your company too. You don't preach to me the way the women from the congregation did. After being away, I realize how self-righteous they are. Often, they meet someone for the first time and soon I hear them whispering: Are they good Christians? As if someone who isn't exactly like them shouldn't be bothered with."

"You know it's a good thing your friend Robb was there."

We talked for a while longer and I went to my room, laid out my clothes for work the next day, then got into bed. It was after nine and I was tired after all that had happened. I was impressed with Robb. He had stood up for me, then waited until I had finished talking with my husband. Afterward, he didn't question me about what happened, or what I said. None of the third degree crap I always got from my husband if I spoke with someone he didn't know well.

Then one of the strangest notions I had ever had entered my mind. Notion? It was more of an urge, a need. I wanted to... did I dare admit it... I wanted to screw Robb. I wanted him to lay down on his back, put him in, and go until I made him go off. I mean I wanted to dominate him, hear him groan as I laid into him knowing he didn't control the situation. It was the most outrageous thing I'd ever thought of.

The vision of myself on top of him the last time came into my mind. He had barely pushed up into me to keep me stimulated before I had sought my own pleasure by sliding over him, riding his hard member-- changing my position to maximize my pleasure. Never in my life had I been so aggressive, ramming him into me hard at times, his face seemed locked in hard determined concentration.

Always before I'd allowed my partner to control me, but not that time. Robb had let me have my way with him. The first time he had taken me the way I had asked him to... but the second time... the second time I... oh my god! I had, I really had screwed him.

I woke the next morning feeling different, more... assertive, in control. During morning break I called my lawyer and told him to get my husband's lawyer on the phone and tell him I was done playing games. Get my husband to sign the papers, or get ready for a restraining order, and an assault charge. I told my lawyer the gloves had come off. If my husband wanted to fight, then he was going to get a fight. After I hung up I felt better than I had in over a year. Then, I sent a text to Robb, a grin crossing my face.

Robb

I was working on a schematic for a new project when my phone vibrated. It was ten minutes before my afternoon break, so I decided to wait to look until then. Wendy had come into my mind a few times, wondering how she had handled the events of the day before.

I still hadn't made up my mind as to whether I should tell her about her husband letting the air out of my tires. My thinking this morning was she didn't need the stress it would produce. When I went to the breakroom to get a soda I sat down and saw the text message from her. I found myself warming at the thought of her smile. The message was short: "Park 6:30 for coffee. You pay."

I smiled to myself as I texted. "What do I get in return?"

When I got her reply a few minutes later I laughed. "My smile."

"See you then," I replied. That would be more than ample reward I thought; her beautiful eyes and smile filling my mind.

Wendy

I was so giddy after getting Robb's reply. I squirmed in my chair until the end of the day. I tried to remind myself again and again--it's only coffee, it's only coffee.

I was trying hard to be rational about what had happened that night when I wasn't rational. I was in desperate need of both physical and emotional support and I was more than fortunate to have found it that night. Now, I wondered if I did it again if it would be the same. Maybe it was something I would never experience again. Pleasure born of the need of sexual gratification, of hate, and retribution-- obviously a strange combination.

I went home, had a light dinner with Clara, and afterward sat talking with her as I did my fingernails and brushed my hair. My hair was more relaxed than usual, not as curly. My hair always seemed to have a mind of its own, though to be honest, it did me justice even when completely wet.

"Wendy, my boyfriend will be coming over to night. He's been gone for a few weeks, and well... you know."

"I understand. I'll be sure to be quiet when I get home, so I don't interrupt anything."

Clara, smiled. "Thanks, but I'll save the really heavy stuff for his apartment, he has a bigger bed and a larger shower. Wendy, it doesn't bother you does it? I mean, you're not... aaahh..."

"No! Clara, no. There's no reason for you to change anything on my account. After my divorce is final I'll wait a while, they say not to jump into a rebound relationship right away. Trust me, I'll manage."

"What about your friend Robb? Is he a possible candidate? Or, is it purely platonic?"

I stumbled for words, our relationship was... was... what? I didn't want anyone to know what I had done with Robb already. If it got out I would be... I didn't know... guilty, shameful, worthless, slutty? The problem was I didn't feel any of those things: not then, not now. What did that make me other than an adulteress? That was it wasn't it? I was an adulteress just as my husband was an adulterer. The thought we were equal in that respect came crashing in. Did it matter what my motivation had been? Is that what Robb thought of me?

"He's nice looking, kind, and generous, a bit messy with his personal habits from what little I've seen. But, I guess I would say there's potential there. I mean I'm really looking forward to seeing him this evening. Frankly, I'm surprised as I thought I wouldn't be able to stand being near a man again for a while."

"Guys can be such pigs. I dated a guy for a while and found I simply couldn't put up with his leaving stuff lying all over. He wore shirts that looked like he had picked them up off the floor never having seen a closet. I wasn't even sure he bathed but once a week."

"I don't think Robb is that bad, he lives alone. I'm sure that makes a difference as he only has himself to please. After being married you recognize things about life you didn't before-- what's important and what really isn't."

Robb

I didn't eat much of a dinner as I watched the clock. I'd heard some pretty ugly things about what it was like to date a divorced woman. Obviously, I wondered to what extent Wendy would be affected afterward. I hoped I'd seen her through some of the worst of it already, but I really didn't know. If there was something I understood, it was infidelity, it had hurt a lot, and I wasn't even married. I'd experienced the pain, shame, lack of self-worth, and feeling like a failure. Now, all these months later, I'd come to the point I was willing to try again. But, with Wendy?