A Park Affair

I parked the car and walked into the park knowing where I would find her. As soon as I saw her my heart sped up, she looked fantastic. A smile came to my face with the anticipation of her smile. I was still twenty feet away when she saw me and a broad smile crossed her face.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a woman who's addicted to coffee and is willing to spend time with a weird man. Is there a chance you could point me in the right direction?"

She stood up smiling, took a few steps toward me, and started to laugh.

Chapter 9 Changing Perspective

Wendy

I was lost in my thoughts as I waited on the park bench. Despite all that had happened here I found the park offered me a glimpse of what could be- parents with children, people walking dogs, laughter, and couples holding hands. When I saw Robb approach I felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders. His off-beat question made me laugh, it was the perfect introduction.

"This may be your lucky day, Sir. It just so happens I require coffee frequently, though if anything, I'm addicted to weird men. Weird mind you, not strange."

"That does seem peculiar, weird, rather than strange. I'm not sure I know the difference."

"I think it would be worth discussing over a hot cup of coffee," I quipped.

"Indeed."

We started walking toward the coffee shop two blocks away.

"So, how has your day gone?" he inquired pleasantly.

"It's been pretty good. I'm caught up on my files, and the new one they gave me looks interesting. So, work is good. I called my lawyer and told him I want action, no more waiting for something to happen."

"Sounds like a good day," he offered.

I smiled. "The best part was finding a man who would buy me coffee and keep me company for a while."

"Hmmm, sounds as if it has been a productive day, does the guy know you favor your coffee black?"

"Yes, I wonder what else he knows about me?" I giggled, which wasn't like me.

"Oh, I think he loves your smile and that little dimple that shows up when you do- it makes his day. He likes your wavy black hair that frames your beautiful brown eyes. He knows you're smart and vulnerable, but you're willing to advocate for yourself, those kinds of things. He also thinks you're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"Does he think I'm emotionally unstable?" I asked cautiously.

He stopped walking, gently took my arm, and looked at me, "He thinks you're brave, resilient, angry, in pain, and want to be treated with respect and dignity. He thinks you're capable and willing to move your life forward at your own pace. He knows it takes time to get over some things and will give you all the time needed to find your way. He knows you're honest and that he can trust you. Unstable no, in transition, yes."

We started walking again and I felt tears come to my eyes. It felt good knowing someone actually understood me and the uncertainty that surrounded me. Clara had tried to console me, but some of the things she said, though well intended, told me she really didn't appreciate my circumstances.

We stopped to cross the street and I glanced at Robb, he took my arm and pulled me onto the grass.

"I think you can use a hug."

His arms came around me and I fell into him and closed my eyes. It felt so wonderful simply to be held. The affection warming me, after a minute he asked if I wanted to keep going. I nodded my head and mumbled I was. When we parted he was looking at me, his eyes were so caring.

He took his hand and moved a few stray hairs from my cheek. "Where's the smile I came to see? A smile makes you glow, it brings out the wonderful woman I know is hiding behind those teary eyes."

I couldn't help but laugh a little, he made me feel good about myself.

"It's here for you," I said smiling.

***

Wendy

Two weeks later my lawyer called to say my husband had signed the divorce papers and he was filing them at the courthouse.

"So, I'm free?"

"Your marriage is dissolved and you are free to lead your life as you wish," he replied.

Only the financial dealings had to be completed and I would receive half of our marital assets. It was done, I was single again.

I thanked him and told him to send me the final bill. That way the ordeal was over once and for all. I hung up and felt a weight come off my shoulders. I can't say I was euphoric at the news, but it was liberating. That part of my life was history and now I could look to the future. The next thing I did was pick up my phone and send a text to Robb. I was buying us dinner tonight. We had talked several times and gone for coffee once each week, all the while I felt a little apprehensive despite my best efforts not to be.

I knew what they said about rebound relationships and I was leery of making a commitment of some kind. If there was one thing I wanted, and needed it was what I had gotten the first time I was with Robb. I know women aren't expected to want to have sex for the sole purpose of enjoying it. The stereotype had always bothered me, and the church women swore it belonged only within the confines of marriage as the good Lord intended.

Well, I wasn't married anymore and my body told me in no uncertain terms what it wanted. I had squirmed in my seat both times as we sat having coffee together. Both times I wanted to reach across the table and kiss him until he took me on the floor. That fantasy had played out in my mind more than once over the last month.

Robb

When Wendy called and told me her marriage was over, the papers signed, I felt a sense of what? I wasn't sure other than I was happy her struggle to be free of her husband was over. But, what did it mean for me? After having coffee together the past two weeks we both knew she would be free soon and though we didn't come right out and say it, we knew it would change the way we saw one another.

She had been relaxed more than ever and her sense of humor and demeanor made her even more attractive. Our first, and only, night together, came to me again and again. It would never be the same, at least the motivations wouldn't be. She had shown signs of confidence and independence once she had moved out of the house with her husband. She had the maturity that comes with being married and of dealing with all the emotions that such a breakup creates.

Wendy had become far more willing to touch me and she flirted more than ever. We kept our boundaries intact based upon her married status. Now, she wasn't married and she could do whatever she wanted with her life. For the first time I wondered if my utility to her was at an end. I had to admit to myself I didn't want it to be. I knew that I should be patient and not to rush into anything. She might be single now, but I was sure her husband had caused emotional damage she had yet to recognize and deal with. It was best I tread carefully for both our sakes.

Wendy

I got off of work and hurried home to freshen up. I had texted Clara and gave her the news my divorce was finalized. When she walked in the door as I came out of the bathroom she looked at me with a broad smile.

"You look pretty chipper I must say. I'm sure it feels good to be free of that bastard."

"I do feel good. I'm taking Robb out to dinner tonight to celebrate. I'm wouldn't have made it this far without his help, or yours other. But, I don't want to even think about Cecil... err... ex husband now. He's history and I want to move on."

"Okay, no more about 'him'. You know it will be different with Robb now that you're single again. I mean you haven't slept with him yet. I hope he doesn't expect you'll want to hop right into bed with him now that you can."

My mind froze. I had slept with him, but I... oh my god! I knew I wanted to again. Was it a good idea? It would be different. What was I thinking?

"I don't think it will be a problem. He hasn't given me any indication he's looking for that."

"He does like you doesn't he? I mean you keep seeing one another and it suggests to me there's something more between the two of you."

I felt my stomach tighten as my mind raced to formulate a response that didn't reveal my infidelity while I was married. I'd never been a good liar.

"I think there is a special bond between us. He helped me over the toughest part of my divorce. I guess I can honestly say I wouldn't have seen it through to the end without him."

I looked at my watch and told her I had to get going if I were to be on time. I heard her tell me she hoped I would have a good time tonight. I hoped so too now that she had pointed out the basis of our relationship would change. It hadn't occurred to me that it would, though I should have known better.

I walked out to my car and drove to the park after I decided I should tell my parents the divorce was completed. They had always thought my husband was a good match for me and when I told them I wanted out they were unhappy. It was one of the reasons I had stayed in the marriage and tried to work things out as long as I had.

I could tell my mother was resigned to the reality as I hung up. I had my life back and I was going to make it my own. I'd been too immature to ignore their feelings in the past and I was determined I would be my own person from here on out.

I left the park and headed to the restaurant to meet Robb. I was a little late, the conversation with my mother took longer than expected. When I walked to the entrance and saw Robb's smile as I approached I felt fluttery inside. Damn he looked handsome as my eyes swept over him. I felt a little awkward once I stopped in front of him, not knowing exactly what I should say, or do. I could hug and kiss him now if I wanted and not feel guilty, or ashamed. I was trying to wrap my head around the concept when he held out his hand for mine.

"You look wonderful. I like the necklace, especially where it enters your cleavage," he said with a mischievous expression.

I felt my face flush red, something I wasn't prone to do.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Thank you," I stammered, "I mean for noticing the necklace, not the other things."

"I'll try to be more considerate," he replied quietly as he held my hand.

I was flustered, feeling like my first date in high school. "You're considerate enough."

We sat down at a table and ordered our food. I avoided any mention of my ex-husband, saying only this dinner was in celebration of the start of a new life. Our conversation was light, refreshing, and he told me his parents would be visiting him in a few weeks. When I asked if he were on good terms with them he smiled.

"I'm still the apple of my mother's eyes and dad is proud of the work I do, even though he doesn't understand much about computers. So, I would say I'm doing pretty well."

"Do they say anything about not being married?"

"No, not really. I mean they were disappointed when I stopped seeing my last girlfriend as they hoped I would propose to her."

"Why didn't you?" I asked cautiously, not sure I should ask. But, he had brought it up, not me.

"She was unfaithful," his voice with a hint of sadness.

"I'm sorry." I said honestly.

"I wanted you to know at least that much in case it comes up in the future."

Maybe I was making more out of his statement then he intended, but it seemed as if he expected we would have a future relationship of some kind. It made me feel good thinking it could happen. We finished our meal after having decided we would take a walk afterward, dropping my car at his apartment as he would drive to the river walk not far away.

There wasn't any indication Robb felt out of sorts as I paid the bill before we left, though he did ask if he could leave the tip and I agreed. It was very generous and I was sure it was because the young lady that waited on us was quite attractive. It made me feel like an old married lady at 26. He saw my expression as he placed the money in the middle of the table, and gave me a shy smile.

"She did a good job and deserves it. In terms of what you're thinking, you would have gotten a larger tip."

I chuckled, "You don't know exactly what I'm thinking."

"Oh, men are simple enough. We like good looking women and don't hide it very well when we do. In your case, I don't intend to hide it."

Again, I felt myself blush. My ex had seldom ever said something so bold, or truthful when it came to the way he viewed me, or any other woman. Robb's ability and willingness to be open was refreshing.

"You know you surprise me with your honesty, but then I think you know I'm attracted to you."

He smiled, but didn't say anything, so I continued.

"Men are just as different as any woman. I'm not blind, I see the way you look at me and know you find me attractive. What makes you different is that you're open about it. I'm not into playing games and I don't think you are either."

Chapter 10 I Have A Past

After dropping my car off I got into his car and we were on our way to the park along the river. I was so satisfied with how the evening had gone. We arrived at the park and started our walk following the path along the river. It was about twenty minutes later when I saw one of the church women approaching us as we walked hand in hand. She gave me a strange look, then stopped, indicating she wanted to speak to me.

"Hi Sarah. Wonderful evening isn't it?" I said pleasantly.

She looked Robb up and down, then looked back to me, and snarled. "I heard you got divorced. Didn't take long to find someone else to ride you did it?"

I was shocked at her words. I was about to reply when Robb spoke.

"If you're insinuating we've been having sex since her divorce you would be wrong. We haven't. Not that it's really any of your business. Now, if you're interested in being ridden we can talk about it. I may be able to fit you in, though there would be a small charge."

I felt a laugh start to form in my throat and did my best to stifle it. The look on her face went so red it seemed to glow. No words escaped her mouth though her jaw was working, her face agonized.

"It would only be twenty dollars and I'm sure it wouldn't take long," Robb added, his face serious.

Sarah turned and walked away at a rapid pace without uttering another word. I looked at Robb and saw a smile cross his face.

"Guess she wasn't interested," he deadpanned.

"Robb! She probably thinks I'm paying for it. You know that don't you?" I said half laughing.

He looked at me, his smile even broader. "You Ms. Cummins will never have to pay a cent."

I took his arm and smiled. "I'm not Cummins anymore, I'm Brown, Wendy Brown."

"Well Ms. Brown, shall we continue our walk?"

"I'd be delighted."

***

Wendy

It was a month later and I saw Robb once or twice a week for coffee, though we talked on the phone at least five days a week. One night Clara suggested her boyfriend, Kevin, had a friend I might like and that we double-date. I wasn't sure, but after a few minutes decided I should do it to show my appreciation for what she and Kevin had done for me in the past. Kevin was a really nice guy and I got along with him well. I thought Clara had done well for herself.

The night we went out was warm and I was wearing a tank top, shorts, and sandals. Tony was damn good looking and I was thrilled with the idea I'd be seen with such a good looking man. He was pleasant enough, though as we talked I found he was... well... shallow. He had no problem undressing me with his eyes. After all these past few months I was used to it, accepting it as the price I paid to dress as I chose now that I could be myself.

He was kind of like my ex in a way. When he started asking about my religious views my hackles went up. It made me uncomfortable as that was how things had gone with my ex. Religion was never far away, even on our first few dates. I steered our conversation to other topics whenever it came up. He seemed to continue to jabber away about his faith group regardless.

I finally mentioned to him I was helping out at the food bank on weekends and he seemed to take some interest in that. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Really, you work at the food bank? I hear those people simply don't want to work and take handouts."

I told him about the variety of people I met and how life had put them in rough straights for a while and they needed some help. He went on about how his church served food to the needy after they attended church service. Suggesting it was a small price to pay for what the Lord provided. I shut my mouth and didn't say another word. It was turning into a long night.

Robb had gotten me involved in the food bank and I found the experience enjoyable. At the time it took me away from my own problems and made me appreciate other people had problems too. It was something I continued to do after my divorce. Robb and I would spend time together with people who had become friends. I noticed how several of the single women took an interest in Robb while he was there. He flirted a little with them, but he did with me too. It made me feel good to have his attention.

I knew Clara was disappointed our date hadn't resulted in something better. But as time passed I discovered my friends always seemed to want to help me out. This took the form of trying to fix me up with a friend, or a relative. I knew they were well meaning, but after almost three months I was exhausted by their interest.

I related this to Robb and he told me he had gone through the same thing after his breakup. That was a topic he didn't say much about. I was sure it was because he didn't want to burden me with what had been, or was, his problem. I had met his parents briefly months ago and he called one night to say they were coming the next day.

"Wendy, would you be my date for dinner?"

"You mean a real date?" I asked surprised as he had never used that term with me before.

"Yes, a real date. I'll pay for your dinner and you can try to be nice to me the entire evening."

I laughed. "I'm always nice to you."

"Yeah, come to think of it you are. Well, you'll get a free meal out of the deal."

It was if he were asking me for a favor, as if I wouldn't be interested in dating him without his having an excuse.

"I would be delighted. Where are we going?"

I hung the up phone with a smile, it was one of the best restaurants in town. I was thrilled. Did I have something nice to wear? I would need a manicure for sure, pedicure? No, it was too cold for open-toed shoes, or sandals. I looked at what I had in my closet and decided I needed a new blouse that I could match with either a dress, or a pair of dress slacks.

I had lost pounds over the past two months thanks to simply walking to the park and back to Clara's apartment. I heard Clara come in and told her Robb had asked me out.

"I thought the two of you had a disagreement last week."

"We did, but we worked it out, neither of us can be right all of the time and... well... he was right this time."

"If this is a real date will this change your 'platonic' relationship? I know you have the hots for him, so don't deny it. Every guy you've gone out with you compare with him. Why don't you just admit it and get it over with? Girl it might help if you got some sack time with him. You know you're allowed to have sex with any man you want now."

"I don't know, maybe it will our relationship," I replied thinking if she could see it others could too.

I had kept it to hugs and a few kisses trying to avoid the rebound thing. But, she was right about the sex, I could really use a roll in the hay. The problem was my fantasies had all involved Robb over the last few months, my hand had gotten a lot of use, and my B.O.B was on its third set of batteries. The one night I had spent with Robb came to my mind constantly.

Robb

I hung up the phone and sat down, my heart beating hard. I had finally asked her out thinking enough time had passed and she wasn't in a rebound situation any longer. Our time together on the phone, at the food bank, and for coffee had shown me we didn't agree on everything. The important thing was we talked it out each time and respected, and liked each other afterward.