All Comments on 'A Place in The Sun'

Rachel is in a cast and all alone. She is concerned because Jasmine is flirting with her husband... husband cheats on wife who is all alone in a hotel room. All of a sudden Rachel is down with a bisexual theeway.

You kidding me with this stupidity? Where is the character development that leads

A. The husband to callously and cruelly cheat on his injured wife who (is in another country holed up in a hotel room) and who recently lost her mother.

B. Rachel all of a sudden is down with sex with a practical stranger. Oh yeah and her injury isnt bothersome at all.

Seriously?

A decent first effort, fairly simplistic and pedestrian, but shows that you put a great deal of thought into the storyline. Stick with it.

Do help us to believe the characters can do what you have them do. As Starsong indicated, you did not give us any background that the married couple have been swingers or that wifey is bi.

Excellent effort! His bedding his wife could have been more graceful.

A good first effort. Jasmine Harman, you say? Yes, you would and so would everyone else!

It might have been a bit rushed in places, but you'll make a good writer.

Beta readers can help. As can a good editor.

If it had been Dani I may liked it more....

So sweet. The cheating bastard shared The whore with his injured wife. Then they go to Tuscany. Cheater's fairytale.

A good first effort, enjoyable sex scenes, I'm terrible with spelling and grammar and I usually ignore those mistakes but there were a couple that threw me here. Also I'm not familiar with the show but it made me think this could have been submitted in Celebrities and fan fiction? But I do most of my reading in this category so I imagine if you want to be read and commented on submit here. Anyway keep going, if you enjoy it go for it the way Jasmine did! ;-)

Sorry, weak at best.

What has Tuscany and shopping for a vacation home have to do with fucking around on your marriage? And apparently it wasn't much of a marriage to betray as the wife joined in at the first opportunity. Seemed more like a Group Sex or Erotic Coupling celebration. I didn't see how breaking marriage vows or betraying a loving loyal spouse had anything to do with this the plot or story.

Also there was no character development to create suspense or drama. Everyone who wanted to fuck just started fucking at the first opportunity without much discussion or debate, like maybe the married couple were already swingers or had an open marriage?

I wish you well on your future stories. This one just didn't make much sense to me, which could be entirely my fault. Write what you think it right.

And thanks for the effort.

Wish it had been Dani or Laura ..... or better still both

Great story. Me and the Mrs love place in the sun and often fantasise about what goes on behind the scenes

One thing I would change and that would be add Laura into the mix now that would me mega hot

Funny how ALL the comments that are negative are by 'Anonymous', isn't it?

I too would like to read of Laura getting involved with Jasmine. That would be a hell of a scene! Keep up the good work, and don't let the bastards grind you down. 👍