All Comments on 'A Promise Made - Alternate Version'

Unlike some of the writers on Lit, I try to make sure the reader can tell "who is saying what" but yet I get constant "whining" by some small minds that don't appreciate that. Just because I like to use "purrs" a lot. "Sooooooooorrrrrry" if you don't like my writing, don't read it, write your own!

Buster, it’s a little over the top, but I actually enjoyed this one.

It was a long time coming. That old story really bugged me, thanks.

Liked the approach, a pity it was over the top

Buster, I just read your comment you made 2 months ago. Don’t take it personal on the feedback, as it pertains to your writing skills. You do need someone to help you organize your words, so they can make the impact you desire. If we can’t understand what you are trying to say, you will never draw us in. A good story should be the same as a good movie, it needs to pull you in, and keep you there, until you become a part of it.

Buster, this the way a cheating should play out. 5* from me for the way it happened, and for your writing. Do not let the nay-sayers detract from a great story. Thanks for your tales.

Great Story!! Loved it!!

Too bad Jackson did not end up in prison being a eunuch bitch!!

Way over the top and poorly written to boot. But damn I really liked it.

This story is an excellent example of how difficult it is to craft good and believable dialog. To me the dialog is too repetitive and overdone. As far as a BTB, it was very entertaining. Keep on writing

I loved (hated) the original and loved (hated) this version cause in each Traci was just too stupid for words, but that set up the story well.

I am not an author and admire you, Buster, for your work, imagination and the stories you give us for free. In my mind there were three issues which hurt the story. 1. Bobby became complicit when he told her it would turn him on if she got pregnant. Yes, she would already have been dead the Bobby as she admitted her prior cheating, but it makes her a little less culpable here. 2. The revenge was good, maybe a little over the top, but it was too rushed. Everything else was played out slowly, we didn’t really get a chance to feel the enjoyment of the revenge being heaped on. 3. Bobby merely making the x-rays show cancer could have need the start of the next step of making the machines over-radiate his balls and actually give him inscrutably painful cancer so he was begging to have them removed. Then his dick would develop incurable oozing lesions.

Your work is so good, this one deserves a re-write. I know I don’t have the talent to do it, I’m better at critiquing and editing which makes me no better than the other complainers, so please take my comments only for what they are, suggestions from a fan.

Thank you for your stories.

Buster ain’t Hooked, but I like a ridiculous over the top revenge story, so I actually thought this was and is Buster’s best story.

Thanks For the encouragement guys! I probably worked a whole month on this story. I am actually surprised that it came out so good. Just a side note: One of the commenters mentioned about Bobbie "taking out" Traci's BirthControl, The reason was to make the burn on Traci "all the worse" LOL. Besides, it is just a story people. This didn't really happen. Thanks, for the read. I hope you enjoyed. Buster2U

Oh, yes, Traci did admit that she had fucked around with other Customers before. That was just to show that cheating had become more "normal" or "routine" for Traci. She wasn't so concerned about being a good faithful wife anymore because she had become more selfish, and self-centered. It seems that working as a sales person to all these rich 'elites' gave Traci the false impression that she was actually one herself. She was just a 'hottie' that turned into a 'whore' selling art to rich folks because it was fun.