All Comments on 'A Roadtrip to Remember Ch. 01'

For a first story, this is an exceptional piece of writing, and one can only hope that many more chapters in this story will be forthcoming from this author. Excellent work!

Thanks - made my day to read that you liked it! I have a second chapter done. I am in the process of editing it. Should have it ready next week.

Hi, enjoyed the story, moving at the right pace, sensual, look forward to next chapter

Good premise.

But the sex moves too fast.

The blowjob starts too soon. Needed more playing with is cock first. Needed conversations about how it felt. Did he like the way she played with his cock? Did he want it differently? Slower? Faster? Harder? Softer? What about his balls? Needed discussion about how close he was to cumming, and slowing down so he wouldn't cum so soon.

Needed her asking/begging him to touch her pussy while he teased an approach to it. Needed her begging him to make her cum, and him continuing teasing instead.

And you need an editor/proofreader. For example: MIDRIFF os one word, not MID RIFF.

Four stars.

Mcallan Scotch Whisky is the correct spelling.

“Noticing his gaze, she glanced over, smiles, and reached for his hand.”

Please pick a tense and stick with it. (Not the only example of this in the story.)