All Comments on 'A Room to Share'

Logic dictates that Kelly knew what could be seen from the shower. She knew she'd be seen watching him.

Both are coy, and that's kind of cool.

Good tale.

Is this a rewrite of yours or did you steal from someone else?

I had to make myself read the story. I thought it would get better...

Re "a room to share": Agreed :) Glad you enjoyed the coy games as they teased their way through a build up!

Re "I've read this story before" You may have read something similar. I wrote this recently for the hotel tryst crowd. I'm a new member, this is my second story. Please also check out "Nudity and Nature" for more on the thrill/fear of exposure theme.

What a thrill………. I love your story. My wife and I have had some similar stories and I would love to share. My email is florida_beaches@aol.com I hope to hear from you!!

Very deserving of a 5. The slow build-up of sexual tension is exciting. The combination of the female's shyness and her lust for her male roommate creates the perfect story. Keep up the good work.

Made me wet reading this. Loved the teasing.

Very well done, nice build up and then a fine ending. The kind of story that makes me want to hear more of the same characters.

A writer of erotica should have at least a minimum grasp of female anatomy. Look up vagina and vulva in Wikipedia.

Thanks for your feedback, anonymous. Rest assured, anatomical correctness is not the only thing erotic lit writers have to consider. There are certain terms that readers simply do not like in the context of these stories, whether they think it's too clinical, or not erotic-sounding enough, etc. Like many people here, I restrict myself to certain safe words that most people find appealing, and only use terms and phrasing outside that scope if absolutely necessary. The ones I have chosen for literotica stories are simply dictated by the comments I have observed on this site.

I come to this site infrequently and have never commented before. But nice work here. I love the suspense, the shyness, the akwardness, and the reluctance. This was a real fantasy, not just a story of exhibitionism or something crazy unrealistic. Maybe I liked it so much because I go to conferences and I know what those rooms are like. In any case, thanks for playing it out patiently. I'll remember this one.

Just the kind of story I love to read.....creating suspense and building anticipation....passionate yet neat and clean.....

Well done!!

A wonderful story, very realistic, and also excellent writing.

Having been "on the road" for a large portion of my adult life, this is a traveler's dream!

I love the way you tell your stories.

True story. Been there.

Nice little story. I'll give you a four.

Your use of “vagina” needs to be reviewed. And please don’t use comments from the readers to cause you to use the wrong terminology.

The vagina is not visible from the outside. The vulva, the lips, the pussy are visible.

Saying “she covered her vagina” is like saying “she held her hand up to cover her esophagus.”

You write good stories, the votes confirm it. Please don’t be so defensive when someone offers constructive criticism.

Thanks anon! Apologies for appearing defensive. There is a campaign by some authors who feel the term legitimately demands broader usage in a literary erotica context, such that unwitting misuse is not necessarily an accurate claim. You can find the understandably-divisive reasons for this elsewhere but rest assured that I have essentially given up reflecting this opinion in my stories and I think you'll find my usage has changed in later submissions. I appreciate your feedback and I'm happy that you're otherwise enjoying these stories!

Very, very nice! Just enough build up, and not drug out too much. Second one of your stories I’ve read, and I’ll be reading a lot more of them. Thank you!

Loved your story. Of course, there may be lots of sceptical remarks about what or what not a pair of strangers might do, but I loved this story about these strangers and how they moved past random acquaintance into rewarding intimacy. Thanks very much. I'll look for more on your site.

Thanks for the well written, imaginative story.

Thoroughly enjoyable little story. Thanks.

Good story, well told.

I read this after mostly enjoying Do It or Lose It, and I'm disappointed to say I did not enjoy this one. Am I the only one who felt the guy came off as increasingly predatory and the woman remarkably naive in a not playful and/or erotic way? He didn't create the situation, but his thoughts and actions once they got the room were all manipulative. This did not read to me like the playful romp it seems other people read.

I am glad to see in the comments that you have abandoned incorrect body part names since writing this story. It's maddening to see incorrect women's anatomy in these stories. It automatically makes the writer look ignorant and makes the reader feel like the writer trivializes women - which is never a good look and discourages female readers.

Something else for the writer to be aware of - it appears smirk was used incorrectly throughout the story. It wouldn't have stood out very much had it not been used so often. From dictionary.com: "What does smirk mean? A smirk is a kind of smile, but it's not a friendly smile—it's often a sarcastic or arrogant one or one that's intended to provoke or irritate the person who sees it. Smirk is also a verb that means to smile in such a way." It has a negative connotation. Kelly was described four times as smirking although nothing we're told about her action or motivations backs that up. It doesn't ring true. The guy was described as smirking twice which, combined with his actions and motivations, contributed to making him come off like an asshole even though I'm not sure that's what you intended. It very much muddied the waters for me.

The story was otherwise well written, and I look forward to checking out your others.

Enjoyed reading the story again, thank you.

Well done!