All Comments on 'A Secret Even to Myself Ch. 10'

their first kiss?!:))cool fireworks!!;)) and you have not made it a dream i hope,you tease, hot wrier?!;))we want lots of fireworks from sexy Tobias and Mahin!!;))

This was a really nice chapter and a real turning point in the series. Up until now though I liked the very skilled writing style and the characterisation of Mahin, I found the story to be lacking something that I had a hard time putting my finger on, add in Tobias and unpleasent behaviour and the story felt somewhat derailed. I'm so glad I stuck with reading as this chapter really was a game changer.

To start with I loved a lot of the start of this chapter, the cooking scene with Tobias actually offering to help was a vast improvement of previous interactions and helped humanise him, as at least trying to interact pleasently with Mahin. I also liked a lot of the levity of the failed cooking and them both having a laugh over it, to be honest that was the first actually bonding interaction I've seen between them the whole story and it was nice and well written. I wan't keen on his assertion that she should have asked him for help or her lack of reply to this, this really felt like a missed oppertunity for Mahin to take Tobias to task over his poor behaviour and to point out that he hasn't yet shown himself worthy of trust. I also wasn't keen on his assertion that she lied about being a good cook, recipes can go wrong, people have different standards of "good" it seemed another instance of him racing off half cocked rather than an insight of a skilled Dom. Still I thought it was an increadibly solid scene, that really helped tie the story together. As a reader I was already impressed by the chapter and trying to decide between a 4 or a 5 then the script scene happened.

Finally! No offence, you state that this is a rough draft and the last few chapters felt a bit like you'd hit a block. The same cycle would replay, Mahin does something innocuous, Tobias explodes and punishes her harshly/unfairly and then Mahin inexplicably gets hot for Tobias over it. The script scene really was a game changer and an exemplory narrative moment, it does wonders for the characterisation of both characters, finally breaks Tobias away from his horrific previous attitude giving him some real depth, all whilst feeling organic and actually establishing a believable romantic interest between the two which will be the bedrock for the continueing narrative.

Good job, keep up the good work :)

5/5 stars

How about a total clusterfuck? Awful.

I think a bit along the lines of this-a second chance romance-comedic to offset the deep stuff I feel these guys may get into.

He needs to find a script that is good. But in it there has to be a part in which mahin see real super break through potental. But he does not believe she can carry it off. And mahin needs to try- out for it and convince him she is actress enough and woman enough to pull it off. On the set is where his genous and her talent turn good to great and in the struggle they also find each other.

I agree with the script for Mahin, but I think that she should go for it but find out it is his movie and refuse it because it's his. He has been a royal jerk face to him, so he should have to work to get her to do the movie for him. I realize his wife died from a drunk driver, but he has obviously made mistakes too, so he needs to learn some compassion and realize that she really is that incredible. And the kiss was interesting, but she needs to discount it as just extra emotion from this excersize and he needs to start to fall in love with her.

I love this story, please I hope you are going to continue. Looking forward to more.

Thank you