All Comments on 'A Slave to the Servants Ch. 35'

1st - Congrats on your bundle of joy! It is a joy that I never got to experience - I wish you and your little one a wonderful future.

It has amazed me just how far the story has come and how well it has fit together. I especially liked how the young boys finally overcame their trepidation to bond with Ciera and her men. You are truly an excellent writer and I look forward to not only the next chapter, but your published works.

You really should consider publishing this piece, if not more of your work. If nothing else, I'd recommend publishing it in the E-reader format for kindles and nooks. A number of self made authors have already found success doing that. You've already drawn quite a fan base on this site, and speaking for myself I'd be happy to recommend this story for others to read and purchase. Whatever you decide to do, good job!

Also.. I think you posed a question mid-story. Clothes are worn (clothing).. cloth or cloths are nonspecific fabric woven from thread. The context you were using it in should be "Rhane and his Brother applied healing salve and wrapped both Aiden's and Jonathan's wounds in clean (cloth)."

Hope that helps.

First of all HUGE THANKS for not giving up and forgetting of all of us here suffering.

Too many good stories have abruptly ended without being ever updated. Big RESPECT for finding the time with your new addition. It is still a mystery to me how you can manage it all together. LOL

And question is - whatever happened to FUJI ? Didn't she heard there was a fight ? Or she just THAT selfish not to care anymore?

Another fantastic chapter to my favorite (and ever so long running :)) story!

It's good to here that your little terror is well, DW, although, just be prepared... they grow crazily quickly. It seems only a couple of years ago, my boys (10 and 8) were tiny creatures, but damn, do they grow lol

Take care, and sleep when you have the time!

Nchy

It would make an awesome movie! Please if you do publish DON'T take it down from lit until it is about to be released as I am sure many if not all of us will be re-reading this story many times when it finally is complete. (although no one really wants to see it end)

I'm always a little disappointed when I reach the end of a chapter and have to wait for an update. You have an amazing gift. Please, don't ever stop writing.

On your little one they grow so fast !!! Cuddle& kiss her as much as possible !!

I think I'm going to re read the other chapters I just love this story !!

It's gonna be so hard waiting for the next couple chapters. Thank god I started now rather than earlier. My patience is terrible.

Love that the family is finally all together again! One request: I'm getting everyone a little mixed up (the other families and Bane's boys) since it was so long between the chapters. Just a few extra words to reiterate relationships would help!

Or I could just re-read the last 5 chapters, which wouldn't be bad either, LOL

Enjoy your sweet bundle!

I am lucky I have only just discovered this story, so hopefully I wont have to wait as long as some to read the final conclusion. I have not been able to drag myself away from your words and I firmly believe that you should be publishing this as a book. You have created an original world different from any other I have read in Science Fiction stories and I think the rest of the world need to hear this story. Well done and CONGRATULATIONS on your new baby. Clever little breeder you!!!

I was lacking good reading material and stumbled on so much more than what I expected. I haven't been able to stop reading. You have an amazing talent! You should definitely publish this as a book. It's so well written and detailed. I can't wait to read more! Congratulations on your baby :)

1st off congrats on your little one! I am glad you took time off to welcome her into this world. Also, thank you for another great chapter. Your plot development is superb- you have consistently brought to life new elements of this foreign planet in a very unique way. The way the story continuously unfolds with new surprises is very addicting. Please continue feel free to continue this story for as long as you wish!

I love this story, and you are awesome!!!!! Can't wait for the CH36.... :)

Are the snakelike aliens edible? That would help with the food shortage. Vesa could be put in charge of collecting their dead bodies and getting them to the kitchen for barbecuing.

Congratulations on your new baby and a fab new chapter.

Enjoy the days as they fly by.

I would pay to read this story! Your the best! Totally addicted and i cant wait for the next chapters!!!!!

Every time I read a chapter I think, "This is SO good! It really can't get any better." But then new chapter comes out and I'm proven wrong, the the new chapter is EVEN BETTER! Truly, DW, you are amazing! I bow to your genius!

Thank you for reuniting Ciara with her baby boy - and now she has lots of boys to Mama. One of my favorite chapters. I had to go back and read about Aiden and recalled how sad all of that was. I couldn't shake it so I'm happy to see them all together. What a great chapter!

Congratulations on your baby girl! I imagine her bedtime stories will be magical and oh so vivid.

I love where you're going with this story and am delighted to hear that you and your baby girl are both healthy and well. Heartiest congratulations! Excellent story, 5/5! :)

Whatever happened to Mia, the slave of the family that sold the ornamentation in the compound? When they first went to the new Keepers, Mia was nice to them, then she just sorta dropped off the radar until after Ciara returned to the compound the first time and the men took her for new ornamentation. Then there was no more talk about her at the Keepers and now she's totally disappeared. I was hoping she would turn up with the other freed slaves.

I've read the the entire series for the third time now, and there is still almost a week till the next chapter is out... I'm dying! You know a story is good when you have readers who will stay up half the night to read "just one more chapter" on the third go round.

Jonathan is back! Yay! I love this! You can see how all the men are developing and how they connect! Though I do have a question how long is Ciara's pregnancy so far?.....it seem that she is due anytime now.......

So look for it to post Wed., Thur. or Fri. [7/11 to 7/13]. Maybe Tue., but doubt I it.

Boy, I thought that thing about the ore being the "remains" of dead Paterians and somehow related to their telepathic bonds was a major revelaton.

I have been told by a few fans to avoid making comments, so I deleted my comment on CH36.

It wasn't Vesa they were talking about. There were about four girls that attacked Ciara. They were talking about one of the others.

You were missed more than you will ever realize. I am so glad you are back and that the baby is doing well. Congrats. I really loved the scene with Johnathon and his brothers and the kissing. There were tears and smiles I loved it. I can't say it enough I am so happy you are back.

sherrylee1015

I believe this series you started has been an excellent work of literature, I am glad I stumbled upon it, and I am actually upset that I have ran out of chapters to read in it. I will gladly wait for your next chapter. Please keep up the good work on your story.

Don't you DARE stop commenting I enjoy reading them.

I absolutely LOVE your writing!!! I do hope you publish this as a paperback novel. I would buy your novel in a heartbeat. Your storyline and plot are spot on. You do an amazing job weaving together the fabric of the lives of your characters. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!!!

Yes. i second that, dont you dare stop commenting. it's been as great enjoying the comments as the stories, from you or any fan here.

Greeting from Vietnam.

ps: if DW ever make this to paper novel. i'd love to buy one, no matter how much it cost to ship to Vietnam. or how long i'd have to wait for it ( it'd be painful to wait though).

Steve please don't stop commenting!!!

DW I feel like a stalker waiting and watching for the next chapter LOL and yes please publish!! I would love to have this on my Kindle to read when ever I want. I have already re read STTS and find a little something that i missed the first time. I just saw the new chapter is up YAYYYYYYY but damn i have to leave for work in a few and can't decided if i want to start it cause i wont be able to keep reading it lol!! I am so happy for you and your family that ya'll have a new little to love!!!!!!!

Again thank you to both Doc and Steve for your work and talent and sharing that with us. Writing and Editing are truly talents!

Kisses

Laurakaye

It was something like-- CH36 is going to be another chapter that all happens in 1 day cycle. The battle still rages. Don't expect to see the birth.

Couple chapters earlier, I asked some questions about the men-women history on the planet. You gave excellent explanation in this chapter. Now all pieces of the puzzle are in place. Thank you. Love your work. Hope you're having as much fun writing it, as we (readers) reading it.

The story is fantastic. The plot is complex without feeling contrived. I'm sorry I haven't been commenting more as I read.

Anyway, I think I found an artifact from the editing phase, like you were reminding yourself to think about something later...I do this sometimes in my writing. Anyway, you wrote "Think about this, is it clothes or cloths?" and I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with what was going on in the story. Just thought I'd throw that out there. BTW, clothes we wear and cloths we make clothes from. ;)

Lastly, I'd just like to point out that I think this story is a cut above good. I think it's marketable should you be interested.

So there seems to be a pretty big problem with the way Paterian families work (or at least used to before the women put the men into compounds). If a male is bonded to 4 Brothers, who form a mate bond with a woman, who is in turn bonded with at least one Sister, and this family have a male child, this child will then bond to 4 Brothers who presumably each have their own breeders who will be bonded in their own family unit. How can this possibly be sustainable?

To give an example, Ciara and Evan have a son, Jonathan, who is bonded to 4 Brothers. What will happen when each of his Brothers (except Aiden, who is presumably an orphan) discover their breeders? Why should Ciara get to raise the family of children rather than any of the other Brothers' breeders' families?

This is not a flaw. As was explained many times, the family best functions as a network, and you will see how the story handles it. Just keep reading.

If when under the influence of the great spirit, bonded brothers can survive, even after one or more are killed, brothers who have never met can synchronize their attack with out word, then I should think, if the kids are seperated for a while, say to visit their individual breeders, then no harm should come to them....they will miss each other but the first bonding is with their breeders and time away should be easily compensated by the original parent child bond. Its been noted parent and children can feel their well being from a distance, and in earlier chapters, Cristoph could be felt when he was away. The brothers only suffered when their link was broken....I vaguely remember that. So good flow of scheme Hur Wolf, very good!

Just as things were getting better Jonathan got attacked by aliens! I'm glad the wounds were superficial though. I hope they get there happy evrr after.

Again thank you for posting this rivetting story.

Ariana xx

i think Vessa and Rue & company are the shit. Vessa because she managed to be self confident and proud despite being a slave (truly remarkable) and Rue's crew for being crazy geniuses! And if Vessa stays id love to see them mated. Ha! good stuff.

but im confused didnt the brothers say Vessa wasnt human? that she came from a planet were their bones were as strong as the mens metal weapons? this may be a plot hole, but not a particularly important one i guess.

I hope we get to see how Mia fares before this is over. She was sweet I'm curious how she would be as a free woman.

Vesa is a human from Earth. Ciara broke her nose almost immediately and it was one of the other slaves that hung out with her that was from the planet with the really strong bones and broke Ciara's ribs.

There are no plot holes in DW's story :) lol Some typos here and there perhaps, but no plot holes.

There IS a plot hole. Chapter 24-2, first page. She broke Vesa's jaw, not her nose.

Silly Anon. That's a continuity error--far more forgivable and very easy to fix compared to an actual plot hole that can't be filled.

Also...do you feel better now that you've blared it publicly AND anonymously? Good for you. You still got it wrong yourself.

As a matter of fact Observer7, I DO feel better. And gosh....thanks for your concern.

HAHAHA!

You'd have done better to just not reply at all. Now I know it got to you. I had already forgotten about this until I saw your reply.

Glad you feel better being an anonymous twat posting something you could have easily sent private feedback to the author to point out for correction, even using a term you obviously have no idea what it means. You must be proud. Me? I'm glad you made it public so I had the chance to ridicule someone when they're thinking they're smart. It's my favorite pasttime.

You need therapy

I don't like how Ciara doesnt really adapt to Pateria. She still nods even when others don't understand. She's just kind of selfish.

Congratulations on the addition to your family!!! (An extremely belated congratulations haha. I only discovered this series about a week ago and I have been hooked ever since.) Thank you so much for sharing your writing with all of us!

This chapter has a little mistake. In a previous chapter it was said that Vesa was from a planet like and near earth but that her bones were very strong. In this chapter you are saying she is human and Ciara asks her if she is going to take a portal back to earth

It wasn't Vesa from another planet but the girl that hit Ciara in the back. She was behind her and not reported injured. Vesa got a broken nose or jaw.

I wonder what the General's reaction was to this new place...

“I don't like how Ciara doesnt really adapt to Pateria. She still nods even when others don't understand. She's just kind of selfish”

While I don’t disagree Ciara is a bit dense (I won’t be as harsh as others) there’s either good character or plot reasons for a lot of it. In the case of the nods and shrugs it’s a signifier of someone familiar with her (or rose or her daughters) as an actual person. It’s like her daughters’ sisters immediately (ok they get a few months really) picking up and speaking to her in English and the resistance members calling her Rachel earlier. It’s kinda used as the first level of recognizing Ciara as a person. Going from a group that understands human gestures to not helps signify that she’s no longer with those that understand or at least respect her.

There’s actually a lot of little stuff like this in the story to solidify the world building and I love it. This is part of what makes DW an excellent writer and I hope she is still reading an encouraged by these comments. There are a lot of nitpicks in these comments she shouldn’t be discouraged by, it needs an editing pass for grammar but I barely notice the incorrect words. There’s some story stuff that could be slightly tweaked based on feedback, Rue/Runen and Vesa vs her friend’s species are two recent examples but really none of that is needed and this story is wonderful as is.

Oh and just a quick addition which shouldn’t be seen as a nitpick:

“Ciara is mate bonded family to my Brother's male breeder”

Made me think you need some paterian words. It’s like reading a literal translation of a 4+ part German compound word. ;)

As is it’s nice and alien and reminds you how different the way things work here. I just found it kinda funny is all.