All Comments on 'A Species' Survival Ch. 02'

part 1...held such promise...this i`m afraid did not match up to it, very average !!!

Early access to chapters of this story and my other stories "A Strange Compulsion" and "A Wolf's Rage" are available on my website.

Website link is:

https://www.patreon.com/rebekahkarlsen

It just keeps getting hotter in here. 😈

Fabulous! More, please.

5*

Tc

Westermarck effect is a bullshit

Roman data on Egypt proves it

The descriptions seam more technical than sexy. You should study some of the best authors and their style to improve. I’m sure you will.

Can't wait if there is to be part 3

Please do yourself a favor and invest in a thesaurus. When I see the word ‘cock’ used six times in two consecutive paragraphs each it suggests to me that the author lacks imagination and language skills.

"Anthony lined up his cock with her pussy. He rubbed her clit with the head of his cock and then he slowly inserted his cock into her cunt. He first inserted only the head of his cock into her cunt and then he slowly pushed all of his cock into her cunt."

Holy fuck I thought I was having an aneurysm reading this. This was basically the same sentence repeated three times in a row. Slow down and read what you're writing, because this sort of thing shouldn't happen.

Narrative is too simplified, not really giving the reader insight into the characters passion. Also, where did the "monster cock" come from/ Who was the husband? WTH? 4*

You should really ... really ... find an editor who knows at least 4 or 5 synonims for "cock". 16 times "cock" word in 3 paragraphs ... seriously?

Ok story

Author, please google "Show, don't tell".