by samjain768
Well done for your first story. 5-Stars I hope you continue to write.
However, you’ve used the word “member” too many times. There are other words to choose from. Also, this is more a “First Time” category story rather than the Incest/Taboo category.
, their slick and rigid members poised at the entrance of a forbidden territory
The tag line says 'sister', the story says 'close friend'. Please make up your mind. As it is, the story shouldn't be in this category.
So is thuu oh a an incest story or not? Doesn’t feel like it when he calls her Friend
Doesn't really mention that they are brother and sister. Also you switched between Alex and Sam a couple times.
For those of you looking for incest stories, please look under Incest / Taboo.
Both had agreed upon what was and wasn't acceptable wI think their relationship. Broaching those agreements would be Taboo . . .
Well written and extremely erotique.
Five ( 5 ) erotic, for 'mericans.
Ridiculous. It's been almost three years since you've joined this site and this is what you submit? If you actually want to write, you have to work harder. If you don't, then just forget. I think that you can do better. Disregard the negative comments (including mine) and try again. The only way that you will become a good writer is to keep on writing.
Is this something you did? The incest part is not clear. It has no plot, unless that comes with the guests. This is like pushing a car downhill and when it reaches the bottom it comes to a stop. If it's a first effort, good. Keep trying and get something going. Good luck to you.
Not sure what to make of this. Was it a re-written MM type story?
"For a moment, they both froze, standing in the shower, their slick and rigid members poised at the entrance of a forbidden territory they had both agreed not to venture into."
Re-read your story. It makes NO sense. She's dress in an elegant gown, then magicily in a gown then in a cold shower? Too much oil, their slick and rigid members? Isn't this a guy and girl? They are friends, so how is this a brother and sister? WTF?
I no idea about what is going on in this so-called story.
You have to do a lot better than this. It is possible for you to improve. Keep trying. Don't give up.