All Comments on 'A Strange Car in the Driveway?'

Hmm. Kinda fun and entertaining.

4*

Thank you for an interesting story with a steady, different take on a typical LW opening. I liked the underlying humour (in places) and the calm sense of the inevitable justice - and the happy, for Max, ending.

Good for me

I must admit it at times it's kind of dull

but this time I don't mind

No cucks

and that is oh so fine with me

i hate cuck stories

Ah, to be a Geek grod...

Nice one

5 stars

Kinda empty, still old beaten to death trope, she cheats, he leaves and gets new, better woman, she feels remorse. Well if this helps you people cope with being a marriage failures

Wonderful! I really enjoyed that. Thank you.

Like shooting fish in a barrel!

5

This rendition of the all-too-familiar story was very well written and engaging…in spite of its predictability. I suppose that, for the author, it’s like a singer covering a well-known song. It would be foolish to try to sing the song exactly as it was originally performed, so the effort is to rely on the listener’s memory of the song while offering as much “originality” as possible. Although I consider this story to be a successful cover, I look forward to something more original in the future.

But Camilla realized her mistakes, repented and was ready to do anything to save her marriage. Why did Max turn out to be such an infantile, stubborn, callous idiot? He couldn't forget the image of two people just sleeping innocently next to each other? Damn, he can't even be sure that they had sex. Maybe they just got drunk earlier that evening, undressed and passed out senseless. And Max immediately imagined some incredible adultery for himself, like some kind of hysterical woman. And if he hadn't behaved like a jealous ass, then Camille wouldn't have had to admit, with a sense of embarrassment and humiliation, to her two previous adulteries, which she managed to calmly stop without harming her family. Oh, husbands - first destroy everything yourself with your jealousy and arrogance, and then you lament and blame your wives for everything, who did not intend to cause any injury to your fragile ego...

Good one.

I enjoyed this story, it was quirky but in the end Camille got hers and deservedly so.

5/5

Not a lot of angst. That maybe shows that Max wasn't so tied to her, emotionally. D

Good story but the ending needs work

Ordinary storyline, but very well written. Style can most definitely elevate substance. Thanks for an enjoyable tale.

It was a really good story, but the epilogue felt a bit rushed.

Max's beautiful new girlfriend needed fleshing out a bit, and a final conversation between him and his bitter ex-wife would've finished it off nicely.

I gave it 5* anyway. Nice job.

Enjoyable story.

You spoiled the ending with your note. Stop doing that

Nothing original about it although the author did spare us most of the usual crap stories with this plot are filled with. Husband living happily ever after, kids taking his side, ex-wife living with memories and regrets - which is not necessarily an unlikely outcome.

OK... the statistics are that 3.2% of all births in the USA are twins. Except in LW stories where that stat ramps up to about 118%. Middling story. Devoid of any real emotions. Paper characters. Meh. 3 stars.

Solid story but with a poorly written ending. Mother of the bride would never leave before the end of the reception. Camille and Max would have to talk and engage with each other before and during the wedding celebration. Max turns into an Adonis and Cam falls in with a lovable slouch? Too much in between BTB and just divorcing and going their separate ways. Could have gone another 1/2 page with some "after the divorce" dialogue and been more realistic about how things turned out for Max.

pretty good story - ending was weak

A shame

Not terrible, but why the fuck are all the writers here obsessed with twin children?!!

Well written story. Loved the way audultry was dealt with. 5 *****

Yup, a true man handles his shit. The world will never let you cry and feel sorry for yourself. They'd rather, and his daughters phrased it, 'feel more compelled to help their cheater mom'.

It's not a horrible fate though, even if the world doesn't care if you live or die. You embrace masculinity. You climb mountains, you run marathons, you travel. He did that. He found a fit young woman, society revers him, and his ex wife pines for him in some sad way. She'll never fight the world, too coddled to care. She'll settle at best. Just like she said. She's probably gotten soft in the middle too. Ovaries dried up by now. Just another entitled woman that hit reality a bit too late.

Familiar story, but well executed. I wonder how he avoided giving her a big chunk of his buyout money? The rest of the story seemed very real with natural consequences for her lousy behavior.

I need to check out your other works. Thanks for sharing.

Well written story and very believable in the theme.

Good story. You write very well. I look forward to your next post.

This has a clunky sound to it – it just doesn’t flow. The dialogue speeches need more use of contractions to avoid the stilted, formal sound. I think a bit more explanation of why the wife started having flings would improve it as well – as written, she is a card-board, cut-out, cliché of a cheating wife with a really limp-tit rationalization as an excuse. In general, more depth of character to round them out would improve this – it’s hard to identify or sympathize with anybody here.

Good chuckle, well told.

This was one of the most well written examples of one of the most common tropes that we see on Lit here in the LW category. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

.

Of course, when a story is so well delivered, it is only “nits” that can be picked, and here are mine 😎

.

— Did Max manage to keep the Slut from sharing in the proceeds of selling the business? Seems to me that this would have been difficult.

— would have been nice to find out if Molly eventually dumped Franklin.

— Lack of any interaction at the daughter’s wedding between Max and Camille was disappointing. Obviously post divorce fortunes for Max and Camille were starkly different 🤗. Missed opportunity to inject a little schadenfreude for Max WRT the slut.

.

For anyone to try to make an argument for any kind of reconciliation, forget it. Her admission to having MULTIPLE liaisons to scratch her “big football type” itch doomed her delusions to save this poor excuse for a marriage.

.

5 *****

This one should make all the divorced losers searching desperately for validation on Lit. Thru the LW section happy. Of course all the losers already in jail for having committed violence against their cheating wife and/or her lover won’t be happy. In their quest for validation, they waste their precious community Internet minutes making stupid comments on Lit because the wimp husband didn’t kill, maim, or torture anyone as revenge. Pretty standard wife is a cheating whore, husband is a saint stuff.

Really good story. Another page would have been nice

If Camille is attracted to bigger muscular man, why would that not be the type of guy she tried to marry? Not like there is a shortage.

Very nice story. well told. 5 stars

I don't see anything that differentiates this from a boilerplate LW tale. Wife cheats with man inferior to hubby but she enjoys the sex; discovery, divorce, hubby ends up rich and ripped with hot new girlfriend while ex-wife is sad and lonely. The end. Characters would make your story different from the hundreds of others using this plot. Also, if you find yourself having to change narrators all the time, that's a clue you should be using third person.

By the way, I enjoy and appreciate the insights into your writing process and enhanced meaning to your stories provided by the author notes. Please continue including them.

Too many of the details of Camille's affair don't add up to the story we were presented with.

She's portrayed as careful and cautious which has allowed her to have this 5 month affair without Max suspecting anything. Yet, she didn't really want to have Franklin spend the night but, she did it anyway. Not very careful or cautious, especially when it wasn't something she really wanted to do.

She's been having this affair for 5 months but, really the only thing she like about him is his body type. His cock isn't any bigger than Max's. Max is the better lover. She has much better orgasms with Max. So, if she even acknowledges that the only thing she likes about him is his body type why would she continue the affair for 5 months? In most LW stories the wife is getting something from her liver that the husband can't provide. In this case the husband is better in every respect other than his body type.

Lastly, when Max finds them in bed he specifically comments that she normally snores like that when she's happy, content and feels safe. According to Camille she was uncomfortable having Franklin there in her house. She had already decided the affair was over and the sex wasn't that satisfying. So, it would make more sense that she wasn't snoring her cute little snore.

My last issue was that as Camile was presented through the story she was a very happy, satisfied and loving wife. No real reason given for her multiple affairs. Then almost as an afterthought in the epilogue we're told she had been bored and frustrated with her life. But, now that it's gone she misses it ... That info presented much earlier would have made this story make a little more sense.

Okay but a variety of that story has been told many, many times.

3 stars - for an average BTB story with a very poor ending - no closure with the ex-wife.

WHERE are the TAGS?

Thanks for sharing a good story.

Hooked

I liked it. We do make our own beds and a wise person takes a good hard look at the present and the future before committing to a path that can change both.

That worked well. She got away with her cheating right up until the moment she didn't. 5* story.

Solid story overall but the split was a little too clean, even if it was probably realistic. I prefer stories with a bit more dialogue versus narration. 4* overall.

Yawn. It’s been done to death and practically verbatim.

Nice story. Well-written. I just don't understand the fact he kept driving the gold Mercedes around having his own car parked in the airport parking garage. What's so special or symbolic about the car? If it were a Lamborghini "Aventador Ultimae" or something special like that, I'd understand. Anyway, thanks for the story.

Enjoyed the story, a little bit flat at the end, would have like to have known what happened to Frank, although the fact Molly sold it implies that they no longer lived together. Gave it 5 though as it was a good read.

Good writing but not a terribly original storyline. 4 stars

It was OK, but you ruined the ending: "Max did see Camille as she was leaving the ballroom and had just a ping of sadness for their old times together." Regret? She was fucking him over for a good portion of their marriage. Why didn't you include the inevitable DNA testing of his daughters? Because of his unfaithful selfish unethical whore ex wife, he now had a better life and a better woman. Regret? That's snatching a 3 from the jaws of a 5; congratulations. Thanks for the effort.

Ending was a bit rushed. But a great story. The gold Mercedes was a good twist

Too many no writin' critics pissing on a really good story. Ever notice that the worst critics have nothing to their writing credit? No story is ever good enough, and they can tell you exactly. why. The funny thing is that none of them ever follow that exacting criticism with a work of their own, which given their track record of bitching and complaining, and brachiating, should be The Perfect LW Story. (Oblique apologies to Steve Goodman.)

.

Damn good story, OP. The MC didn't throw up, run away, punch a hole in the sheetrock, delete voicemails, leave town, change his name, go off the grid or call his friend the Navy SEAL/Mobster/Alien Life form. Very realistic, with characters acting like real people do. One of the best to be cast upon these troubled waters in a while.

.

Thanks for sharing your fine work. To quote Bette Davis: "F*ck the critics and Joan Crawford, too!" Obviously I won't sign this post, as I'll get one-bombed into oblivion by the smooth brains.

.

John Yossarian

Almost boringly similar to reality.

I overlooked the title—kinda treated it like a summary, but I imagine you expected that— until you came back to it at the end: it wasn’t a “stranger’s car” as much as it was a “strange car”. It takes a pathetic person to ruin a Mercedes by insisting on driving a gold one, and as a senior sales associate, the Asshole got his choice. (Mercedes are famous for their subdued color schemes.) Nice twist on an old cliche.

<>

So it’s especially funny when Anonny accuses ‘Max’ of being egotistical and unwilling to forgive. It would be better for everyone, says Anonny, if Max just believed a lie; let the real egotistical Asshole slide, let the cheating adulteress continue disrespecting herself and her family and her marriage. Anonny believes that humans are inherently pragmatic amoral creatures and should not be expected to keep their vows, and Anonny’s concepts of a grey world should override your primitive concepts of black and white highlighted by splashes of vibrant color. Anonny is wrong: Asshole wasn’t happy with a grey Ford Taurus; he wanted an Ack! gold Mercedes. Even Asshole isn’t pragmatic.

<>

Kinda curious what his sisters did with their shares of wealth. Did they become Greek goddesses based on their newly found fitness regimen? Or did they just grow older, fatter and dumpier off their inheritance?

"and apparently took a swing at one of the cops. You know he's a big guy and the cop tasered him."

No, no he didn't.

I didn't understand what the author wanted to hint at, returning to the mention of the ill-fated Mercedes again at the end of the story?

This deserves a solid QuickMagazine 4, so there ya' go. One of those stories that touch familiar walls, managing to do so in a slightly different way, and where the good more or less are rewarded while the bad are more or less not so much. Franklin skated, more or less, for example. Camille lost what she had, definitely trading down in terms of perspective mates, and still in that dead-end job. Max, of course, thrives, and may I point out to Regguy69 that as a pre-marital asset, the company shares would not be common marital property. As Max's lawyer told him at their initial meeting. Sort of a Hooked feel to this, and the man himself gave props. I've noted this before, how the better writers tend to give the kinder comments. As to demander's remark about "not a lot of angst," I demur. Max was in shock upon discovery, though seeing the car had mentally prepped him for what he might find. He did cry at least once (in the car), but took swift and decisive action. His being a strong man should not in any way be read as him not caring. Sorry, D, maybe you were just looking for something to say that no one else would? Anyway, and nevertheless, I'm going to borrow a page from demander book, and make my own little unique comment here. Which is...the last paragraph suggests this might have been a story more about the gold Mercedes than anything else.

this story was posted here before

WOW! What a Fantastic Tale, Great Writing, Great Story! Holy Moly this was a superpurb tale of a completely different way of deal with a wife cheating, finding that car in his driveway. Amazing writing, Amazing BTB and her Lover too. LOL Just makes me laugh at how bad wife's lover got screwed LOL. Wow, 5 stars to the writer, Great Job my friend. I love a happy ending. thanks

A run-of-the-mill and poorly executed story line. Too many inconsistencies make the story hard to believe. Almost reads like a Biblical tale, with sinners getting punished (Tasered) and condemned to hell (Prison). Not worth more than two stars.

"Living Well Is the Best Revenge"

Or something like that.

5-stars

I liked it. It had a ring of reality to it. Why is it that people rarely open up and tell their partners the truth of what really gets their motors reaved up, their hidden fantasies. Had she just told her husband she liked to feel helpless from time to time their marriage might never have ended the way it did.

I really liked it. It wasn't a nuclear BTB, but it was enough. Franklin got his by getting arrested while breaking into his own house. The ex-wife got her BTB by getting left out of the funds her husband's company made by selling it off. The ending got have been longer, as while we do know she stayed a paralegal at the firm she worked with, did she buy him out of the family home, or was it sold off and she moved into an apartment? He on the other hand lived a good life, traveling and mountain climbing, got in shape, and even met a new younger girl friend too, and they attended one of the daughters weddings together. Like he told the kids when he met them for brunch, he'd been taking care of everyone else, his parents, his sisters, his soon to be ex-wife, and them, it was time for him to spend time taking care of himself and get in shape and move on with his life. He basically had two choices, get drunk and wallow in suffering, or look after himself and do things he wanted to do. And he did. He lived a life well lived...the best revenge. :-)

The story wasn’t terrible. The ending was way too rushed.

The story was good, the ending was not.

Yeah, good story. Not a solid ending.

Well told.

Good story. ****

Bravo. You definitely work the emotions really well. I could almost feel the pain of that divorce. You are spot on about Max seeing his wife in bed with another man and not being able to get over the memory. I can see how that could really happen. It ruins everything, even if you don't want it to. Max keeping the pictures from the other wife was a very kind move.

Monkeys bite me... the story came well, exciting, concise, realistic, to some extent, and very good!!!

But the ending... left a lot to be desired. The last paragraph was meager and it seemed that the author had nothing more to say. It felt like he "used up" all the inspiration for the story, even before that last paragraph.

The slut deserved exactly what she was given and should take her escort's advice so she doesn't have to live alone for the rest of her worn out life.

But the MC deserved a better outcome, not that his new life wasn't good... But he still carried the sadness for Camila's betrayal.

Perhaps, a rewrite of the final art, would leave the final flow, more adjusted with the cadence of the work.

4 star offer... It hasn't become one of my favorites, from what I wrote.

But that's just my opinion.

Well gosh. I have a couple comments.

First, the story was OK. (That's a good OK) I gave it a five, but I always give fives. One complaint; with all the great mountains here in the USA why is everyone in these stories off to places like Nepal? Not a big deal, but we have some pretty good mountains right here. Second, I was glad your protagonist didn't end up in bed with the car salesman's wife. That's a silly thing that occurs in too manyof these stories. Third, I'm glad he ddn't go after the two adulterers, that would have been ridiculous. I'm glad the jilted husband was making a new life for himself, and I'm glad Camille was working at recovery as well.

One last thing. If you had posted this story fifteen years ago it would have earned something a little higher than a 4.50. Readers nowadays are way too critical. Oh, and you should allow the comments to appear. I've found more than half the pleasure of writing a story is reading and sharing the comments.

Another last thing. I checked your favorites listing. I think you have almost all the best LW writers covered. I'm glad I'm on your list. I'll favorite you. When you favorite someone you get notification of any new stories they write, and I have a couple close to being finished that I'll hope to see you read.

carvohi

Too many flaws for it to be a good story.eg Molly saying she drives the Merc more than her husband.How can she when it is at work with him.Did Max ever pick up his truck from the airport?.

I get it’s hard to be original in this genre, but yikes. Next, the whole “snake bit” thing is ridden to death herein. Annoying. All up I question authors creativity. Still, I can’t do better and probably not as well.

Rating wise in terms of readability and interest it’s basically a 4.35 and 4.1 respectively. Plot improvement, creativity, even writing flexibility would be areas to look at if author was looking to improve scores.

Story was a little depressing as most of these LW stories. It needs something to spice it up. The fact the paramour got his come-upness was ok but to short. Sound like his wife kept him just for the kids sake. Our cheated on husband could have been one of a kind as he just happened to have $10 million laying around and you know what they say: "Money can't buy happiness but it can sure buy your own brand of misery." 4 stars for effort.

A tale about why women get offended when men want to know their body count before getting into a relationship, and a lesson as to why it absolutely does matter to men.

Very good version of this old story. I like your version as well as any I’ve read.

This is a well worn plot which was too predictable for me. 3 stars but thanks for sharing.

Pretty good, just kind of fizzled at the end though.

Good story showing that the best revenge is a life well-lived

The script followed the same old worn out formula nothing new, ho hum. Gave it the same ole 3.

I just 1 starred it because of your history and your intro. You should have the same approach to your writing, as in whenever a thought in your cum soaked brain says "let's write something" you should say move along.

Well-written, an enjoyable story. Thanks and keep up the good work.

Good story and avoided the brutal BTB ending but the ending was somewhat incomplete. Consider some kind of sequel. It doesn't need to be in the LW category, just something about a life well lived.

Not enough BTB for my liking (hell, as far as I'm concerned there's no BTB AT ALL), but the author honestly warned about that in the first sentence - so I'm not deducting points for that. Aside from lack of BTB, the rest of the story is 100% anti-cuck. No reconciliation. No useless "oh I'll love her all my life" wimpy idiocy. No kids who take the side of the cheater. He doesn't lose the company money in divorce. He ends up with a great gf (sounds like). Hell, there's even ex wife regretting losing him, although not to a degree that would classify as even a light BTB - the only time I consider the cheater to genuinely regret what she did, is if she never dates again.

..

I gave the story 4.3 stars due to two small negatives: first, there was a meaningful lack of detail for the asshat (i would have strongly preferred the wife divorce him and take all his money). Second, there was a lack of detail on how MC is happy again in personal life (yes a new GF is briefly shown at the end, but there's no detail that shows he's happy with her and she's long term, or at least fulfilling his dreams/wishes). He seems happy at a high level, so not deducting a full star for that.

Really enjoyed reading this. Funny, sad with right amount of revenge. Thank you

What a slut!

You need lots of help but still the story is worthy of 5 stars. I liked the story, thanks!

Good story even without a much deserved BTB.

Unsatisfying. You bring us into the mindset of the person wronged, and show us the cheater. You show us his pain. But, there's not really much remorse, not given everything. She's still trying to make excuses.

.

And then, you TELL us about the happiness, but show us nothing. That leads to an ultimately unsatisfying and unenjoyable tale. 3*

Kind of a flat ending. The wife was a cheating disrespectful stupid selfish whore, but somehow she was also a good wife and mother? Your character premise fails. She was essentially a bad person or a good person. All the evidence is that she was essentially a bad person. Which begs the question, how did she deceive her husband and daughters all those years, fucking other men? Either the relationships were shallow and tepid and distant, or the wife getting away with being such a monstrous whore doesn't make sense. And you expect us to believe that Carl also doesn't realize he's planning a future with a serial cheater, with men Carl can never be. A lame plot premise. But thanks for the effort.

Liked these endings but story in itself wasn't to satisfying. Not saying btb, but maybe more details on his life after divorce

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your writing.

At no point does the cheated upon husband, or 'the daughters' ever once ask her, or themselves, who their biological father is, not even after she admits there were other men, before the one he saw the cum dumpster sleeping with, in his marital bed, with her hand on the asshole's dick. A substandard dick, we are led to believe, and just some college skank that couldn't get enough of mysogynist, dumb, overweight jocks pinning her down in boring sex positions. No demand for a paternity test or two? Or STD testing? And even this supposedly top shelf divorce lawyer doesn't think to mention that as another avenue to explore before filing? Or deciding how the settlement goes down? And finally, the ludicrous, duct-taped on standard Liter ending for all cheating cum dumpster wife stories, he gets fit, meets a hotter woman, and lives happily every after, only this time, he becomes a mountain climber, to boot. Fairly hilarious. Also, the daughter's don't really even seem all that surprised, in fact, they seemed to think their skank of a mother might run off with some lawyer, yet never said anything to either parent about maybe mom needing a different job, if she was that susceptible to phoning home to her college skank days?

Much appreciated yarn. Definitely five stars but without a golden Mercedes

I'm not a long winded critic.. I liked the story.

Thanks