A Submissive's Mindfulness Exercise

Simple conversations with my Master seem to rapidly turn into experiences that I never expected or even would have thought of. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it has been an ongoing topic, almost daily, between my Master and I and he understands my reactions and needs, often much better than I can.

This particular night, all I wanted was off the anxiety and depression roller coaster and desperately needed to shut my brain down because the thoughts that kept repeating themselves were less than helpful. I expressed all of these thoughts and feelings openly to my Master, who shared that often meditation helped him at least slow things down. Meditation, Mindfulness, and other coping strategies have also been very frequent on our topic list. I am just plain not very good at it, though, I do try, and try again. I just plain can't concentrate that long because a random thought will completely distract me again.

My Master teased me when I stated that I was counting breaths and got to 3, saying that if I got to 3, I just needed to repeat that a million times. Being a little sassy, as I sometimes am, I teased back saying that maybe if I was counting how many times his clock slid in and out of my pussy, then maybe it would work better.

And...my Master took that information and quickly turned it into a command. Due to time differences, and other commitments etc., we sometimes cannot stay online together and this was one of those times. However, this does not prevent my Master from commanding me, and often just forces us to be a bit more creative. This was one of those times.

I read my Master's instructions and my pussy became wet, just reading, while at the same time, I groaned, knowing that this was not going to be an easy task for me:

"When you climb into bed, use the vibe in your pussy. Count each stroke and don't think of anything else. When you DO think of something else, stop for a second, tell yourself to concentrate, and start over. When you get to 25 strokes without thinking about anything else, you may come".

How does HE do that??? A play on both my recent inability to concentrate in general, and on my general lack of patience which he likes to challenge simultaneously. Groan...

Proof that I need more practice...

I finally went to bed about 10 PM and fortunately was alone. For whatever reason, I was avoiding even starting to act on your command, so played around on the phone, put the baby to bed, and did a couple other things, the whole time thinking, seriously...how am I going to do this?

So...at 10 PM, I am lying in bed with my panties slid down to my ankles and the vibe in my pussy on the lowest setting and thinking...here we go.

1 stroke, 2, 3, police siren outside...1 stroke, 2, 3, 4, maybe made it to 5, I forgot to text Susie about tomorrow...nope, can't think about that now, will worry about it tomorrow, and now I have to start over...

1 stroke, 2, 3, 4, hmm...my pussy is starting to become wet and this feels good...5, 6, 7, maybe 14, car door slams...i wonder where my husband went..probably to get some beer...shit.

1, stroke, 2, 3, 4...7, 8, 9...I need a job, I can't do this anymore, I hate how I feel...moan, my pussy is soaked and my right hand has my juices spread on it.

And, I have to start over...25...seriously? Shut up brain...

1 stroke...only now they are slides because my cunt is so wet...2, 3, 4, 5, 6, pumping the vibe a little faster now because my pussy feels good, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,...22, another cop siren...and another drunk driver busted (for whatever reason the cops like to pull them over on the street across from us, so this is a common occurrence, especially at this time of night), groan...22...22? Damn cop.

1...sigh, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, what time is it now anyway? If my husband came up now, I would not be amused...ugh...somehow, I think this will amuse my Master a bit, but me, not so much...thinking I should have put a towel under me because I am probably getting my juices on the bed...very frustrated groan...my pussy pulsing, and wet, and I definitely want to cum now...increased the vibe to the highest setting. I had a goal now, and I wanted to cum...

1, 2, 3, 4, 14, 15, 16, pumping hard, deep and fast, 18, 19, can't cum yet..not yet...moan, 20, 21, OMG...I am going to explode...22, 23, fuck me my Master...24, 25!! I did it..i did it...oh wait..i can cum now...my muscles contract and I can feel every curve and bump on the vibe in my cunt and my brain is definitely only concerned with my body's reaction at this moment. Juices flow from my pussy and my body is in spasms as I try not to stop thrusting the vibe deep inside me just yet...Master wouldn't stop yet...though I'm not sure I can handle too much more. I finally stop, leaving the vibe buried deep inside my cunt and closing my eyes as the spasms subside. Moan...OMG...i look at the time...10:31 PM. I am a very exhausted, well used, slut...I slide the vibe out of my wet pussy, and more juices follow. I pull my panties up, not caring...tired, and Master will be pleased that I did as I was told. I set the vibe on the floor...will wash it later...roll over, and fall asleep.

I woke up again around 1 AM and was up for a while; otherwise slept well. My pussy was a bit sore the next morning, and I felt like a well used fucktoy. The strong spray of the shower felt very good...also started my pussy pulsing again...sigh...

Thank you my Master...