All Comments on 'A Surprise for Susan'

Nice story, I'd love even more details, but this was carried off well!

Don't know why you would want to be married,I guess waiting for a S.T.D. or the chance to raise someone else's kid keeps things exciting. Not a life I would want.

"...They planed it all..."</p>

<p> If a writer has this big a screwup in the third sentence of his "story," the rest of it can only be a total disaster. If you can't find the mistake, you need to return to elementary school and pick up with 2nd grade grammar classes.

Tis an interesting immature fantasy but leaves a lot to be answered and to be realistic. After all she explained how she wanted to make the fantasy occur and then he is lost in the steps and doesnt know what is happening. Then the real WTF, The is due home in two days, they fuck that evening, so she arranges all of that so quickly, say bud do you know the term suckered? Wife knew she was there, the phone call tipped that off. Carly knew of the fantasy took time to explain to him, then get him on board and already had a plan, remember the term suckered. The real thing to remember is the wife and Carly planned the whole thing, then maneuvered him into accepting it. Dumbass husband, always the last to know! I gave you a 50 for some erotic scenes, but you plot leaves a lot of holes.

The prose has problems in a number of places, and the writing is average without panache nor flair. I have to agree with the previous poster. Why are these people married? There's no particular reason to be married since they mostly want to have sex with other partners. Maybe it's for tax reasons.

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There's little plot, and very meager character descriptions. It's not really very good fiction.

Just another day at the zoo, watching the animals fuck.

This tool wrote a lot of stories, but I can’t find a good one.