All Comments on 'A Touch Away Ch. 03'

Vary good story I just wish there was more

Thanks for reading, Smokegill! IRL events are shaking my schedule up but I'm working on chapter 4 right now.

Your writing is really cohesive and immersive, and your characters so far are interesting and likable, except for your protagonist. In the first 3 chapters, Kyle has done nothing to be likable, in fact he spent his time antagonizing and misrepresenting half the cast. I'm guessing that you're trying to make it obvious that he's an unreliable narrator or that it's something related to his power. Usually this isn't a good thing, but you're story so far has been well written (from the original version to this one), so i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and keep on reading your story.

Hey anon, thank you for the feedback. I'm glad you liked the concepts and characters.

As far as Kyle goes, you're spot on. Kyle's meant to be a stuck-up asshole who sees himself as the victim. I think one of the strengths of First Person stories are the narrator's flaws, and I'm trying to see what I can create with his perspective and biases.

Why is Amanda saying that Kyle is in the wrong in regards to Sarah? I get that he was kind of distant to her in the beginning when she was trying to get to know him, and he was mean then, but was he constantly making barbs and insults towards her as well or something? Also, that was a dick move from him towards Claire, good on Mel and Jane for putting it into perspective. I get his mother probably made him have trust issues towards women but he definitely shouldn't let that shape all of his relationships. And Kate I don't think would be someone he should point his anger towards, she was a child too. Glad him and Claire finally talked :)