All Comments on 'A Trail Ride'

Never read anything quite like this before. Loved it. Hope you write more...

Your story devoted more space to her journey than to what she did once there. Not a really bad thing. I was looking forward to more about her solo pleasures than what you wrote. Good first time story tho. May I suggest getting with an Editor. Maybe fill out the story a bit more.

2 stars

DragonRider55

I liked this story a lot . You've certainly got talent and I hope you'll be doing some more.

Sweet

Alone, outdoors, illicit, exciting.

'I certainly wanted to avoid the possibility of exposing myself and creating an awkward encounter for some unwitting hikers.'

Yes, I could see how this would be a major trouble. Hate that sort of trail awkwardness.

Lovely.

As a cyclist and as a Literotica writer, I loved it. If you haven't read it, The Third Policeman by Flann O'Brien has a great passage on an almost-human bicycle and its rider which is probably the best romantic/erotic passage involving a two wheeled machine ever. If you like surreal Irish writing - you obviously like bikes already - the whole book will be a treat for you.

Crank on baby.

There is so much about this story and ShapelySides authorship that is different from other stories here. I'm really pleased to have found this submission.

First, the naming of the bike and other inanimate objects, and the reference to the narrator's body as 'she' and apparently just as separate from 'me' as Annie is (and later Christopher too), tells the reader that this is different from the normal story.

There is little lead-in which I found somewhat disconcerting. This travelogue about a complex masturbatory adventure left all sorts of questions unanswered. I'm not sure that they should be answered, because part of the fascination I had with the story was wondering why they weren't.

Exposure of the body to the elements is one thing. But not in itself particularly erotic. The danger of being seen by others is what makes it exciting. But our rider didn't seem to feel that sort of excitement at all. It was sort of unsatisfying, but it was also interesting because of that apparent lack of exhibitionist motive.

ShapelySides described it as a "travelogue". In many ways it was just as unemotional as a description of the journey and the physical aspects of getting there and doing things. Was that intended?

I look forward to what comes next from this author.

Lue

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments! I'm still learning how to translate my ideas into the written word and hopefully my next work will have a little more polish.

In response to leudon specifically, I personally find a mechanical/dry narrative exciting - so next time hopefully I'll be able to use a dry tone that doesn't come off as unemotional.

The progressive ride up the mountain track (and I know some of that area of the PNW, so "track" is being kind!), and also progressively removing all your clothing must have been an enormous rush!! Thanks for putting it in words (and I do hope you actually experienced this, rather than just thought it up!!). :-D

Have just read your two, very different, stories and loved both. You write with a nice flow and such are your descriptive powers that i could almost see the scene in my head. I hope you write more soon

very hot and well written. you have a great imagination