All Comments on 'A Twin Desire Ch. 01'

Please keep going with this story.

Keep on shooting it up her pussy till her tummy gets very big no condoms or pills just bareback

What a great sexy story! Loved their love making, and loved their descriptions. Brian s a very sexy young man with the slight hair on the chest and abs. Hope it grows in a bit thicker over their fucking time!

Great story Would like to read more

Definitely worth carrying on with this, excellent story

One of the best shorts I’ve read, a continuation would be much appreciated

Thanks for the kind comments. I've already started the 2nd chapter of this one. Any ideas on a direction to go in are welcome. Siblings? Parents?

I loved this one, it was just the right lenght with a ton of raw emotions, sweet sexy times, meaningful progression and most of all genuine love. They were made and meant for each other, it just took them some time to figure that out.

Easily a great 5* and if you do decide to go with the story please don't mix them with anyone else, their love is too beautiful to waste it on ovesexualization of the characters.

There are not enough adjectives to describe.

We're either virgins or how far had they gone.

One of the best brother and sister love stories.

I hope you continue this AMAZING STORY.

I wonder in real life how many fraternal twins have sexual experiences.

It would seem so natural.

One of the VERY BEST, tender love between a brother and sister.

First, just keep it between the brother and sister, secondly instead of jumping between the two. Use a third person view, describing what goes on :)

Just the two of them! Please don’t add others to their love story!

Exposing their inner thoughts was enjoyable however, in the future episodes I think they could be condensed since they are now considered as being one. There could be thoughts from the mother or father or other sibling point of view. I've been reading similar stories for decades and none have reached your level of reality; please don't lower your standards.

I say go for another chapter. The biggest request/suggestion i have is to have them say make love, not fuck. It's so obvious from the story line that their twins and brother-sister relationship is respectful and loving. They are not just in it to get off.

Thank you all for your feedback. You've all been very kind. It's good to know the thoughts of fans of the genre.

I usually write without knowing where the ending will go. I have an idea but depending on what comes off my fingertips, some stories go in directions I didn't intend. I will certainly keep all your feedback in mind as I continue the story.

One comment suggests I refrain from using "fuck" and use "love" more. My personal belief is both are appropriate in different circumstances. For example, the way the actual sexual encounter began with the blowjob, everything being done was with tenderness, gentleness, and passion. I wouldn't use "fuck" in that situation. They were "making love". Had either of them spoken their desires at that point, I would have used, "make love to me".

When I used her words to tell him to "fuck me", they were both ready for raw, passionate, lustful fucking. Both "fucking" and "making love" are based on love.

This was great, amazing detail and depth of feelthing from both sides. You should defiantly continue this storyline. I hope to more about them falling in love and everything! Hope no one else joins them though, I know a few stories like this where the mother joins but be different, make this a unique twin love story that pushes passed the rest! Keep up the good work!

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

This story is great!!! I beg of you, do NOT add anyone else to their relationship. especially Mom or Dad. That would destroy this story. (IMHO)

You have found a new genre... let's see what you've got!

me. Strong character development , good sibling interaction.

Very believable story line. Five stars.

More stories of these two peoples lives would be , Great!

Can we please have a part 2

Please don't include the parents or anyone else. Keep it between the twins. This could make a nice series if you follow them through having babies and their life together. Just keep them monogamous.

1. Overall, amazing story

2. Barb seemed a little bit hasty when they woke up but I think she might've been able to tell he was into it before hand so all is forgiven

3. Love the dirty talk portion, well written, definitely a turn on

4. Only criticism with the dirty talk was the fact that Brian had a whole paragraph, seems a little long to me

5. Absolutely LOVE the bit when they said "I love you" to each other at the end, very romantic, I had tears in my eye

6. The "I love you" bit's romanticism was somewhat ruined by them talking more about fucking after that but as this is more an erotic story rather than a romantic one that is easily forgiven as well.

All in all, WONDERFUL story, I'll probably be reading part 2 tomorrow, can't wait :). If I were you I would attempt a romantic story, you seem light you may be good at it and that is (to my knowledge) also a thing they do on this site.

Like I said, great story, definitely 5 stars, probably hitting favorite too.

Thank you all for the feedback. I believe y'all saved me from going in the wrong direction. Part 2 has been well received. I'll continue to keep it as real as possible and definitely keep it one on one.

!!!

Agree with cleared to fuck. You have to keep this between them. It's just too good not too.

Yes keep this story going. And keep it between them only.

Very well thought out, written, and then presented with class and style. Keep this type of writing going.

5 stars. great story. keep them coming!!

Was the use of jumping back and forth between the two people.

is your forte...another top rated erotica by one of the best writer I found of this genre...well done...more please

I couldn't get past the first page. Had to stop there. First of all, you have excessive use of unnecessary quotation marks. ..."cheap" hotel, "naked", "private parts", etc... None of these terms are ambiguous or have double meanings, so there's no need to have them in quotes. ex: I saw him naked. vs. I saw him "naked". Just...wrong.

Switching viewpoints. Another commenter mentioned this, and I have to agree that there's absolutely no reason for this story to be written from a first-person perspective. You should have simply written it from a third-person perspective. There seems to be an overabundance of first-person stories on this site. In popular literature, first-person stories are few and far between.

Immediately jumping into Barbara fantasizing about her brother as he exited the shower... There was no context for this. Rather than writing "For the first time in my life, I noticed how ruggedly handsome and ripped my brother is" (which is entirely unbelievable because you had just previously stated that they'd often seen each other naked, are twins, and had both grown up together and gotten sports scholarships, and wrestled on the floor frequently), even a simple "Ever since puberty I had the hots for him" or some similar thought would have at least given some context to her fantasizing about him ravaging her.

loved it! i was hooked! i like the passion,romance and the two point of views! descent not too much fiction story telling which i like and very realistic on how i think people would react in a situation like this. more plz!

Great story, loved the different view points, which I thought became essential for letting the reader know that both parties felt the same way about each other.

When Barbara and Brian were in that motel room and it was Barbs POV talking about how this would be all over one day,and then her words that chilled me to the bone of how she was "Losing the other half of her soul" made my heart ache for Barbara's pain.

I honestly feel Barb and Brian are the truest people to be described as Soulmates,and it would be a travesty of heavenly proportions to break them apart.Some people view incest as the vilest,sickest,act known to man,but in truth why is it reported in all parts of the world incest is practiced daily,like in Sweden siblings can legally marry and so can first and second cousins can too.In England and Britain going back several generations Kings would marry their sisters and kept their lineage strictly in their family because anyone outside was not accepted or worthy enough to be part of the royal family.

Other people I won't say which are very prevalent even here in the US,but those are just a few examples of it happening.Truth-be-told I have absolutely nothing against those people that do,just like interracial relationships if the two love each other then more power to them,same with anyone.Who are we to judge?.

Great story so far! The one thing I would love to see different is to have the entire story told from Her point of view. Too many are just from the guy's POV

A brilliant start, Lets see where this heads now. 5 Stars from me. I wish sometimes i had a twin sister to love and care for, a twin sister that my heart belonged to. It makes sense that siblings can love each other and fall in love with one another, theyve known each other since birth. They know exactly what theyre getting and what time of by person their partner is. Keep It Up!

Just amazing

What a Guy!

LOVED this story, Thank You!

Well done! Great build up and hot. No complaints. Lots of praise.

On another note, no misspelled words, and good sentence structure, which is generally a rare thing even with other very good stories.

Love that you are a prolific author and expect I'll be spending a lot of time with your stories.

Thanks so much.

Very well written. It had a nice build up, believable, and didn't notice any misspelled words or bad grammer. Not to short. Very good. I'm off to read part 2 of this story. Can't wait to see what's next for Barbara and Brian...

Great story, the build up was excellent.

Don’t know how I missed this tale, but L

I have it now, reading on. Scores 5/5

Don't know if anyone ever caught this but I noticed it.

"PFFFFT!" I spat with a laugh. "You know my motto. 'Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.' I'll never grow up. What the hell were you thinking about?" I asked again.

That is Brian's line but it's in a Barbra segment.

Didn't notice any other mess ups. whole thing is great thanks for sharing.

And the crowd goes wild! *Thunderous applause resounds.

Awesome please continue with this and more like this. Pvmxu

Loved it!

Very good

"A Twin Desire Ch. 01:" - Twenty Year Old Twin Siblings, Brother Brian and Sister, Barbara.

Without hesitation, this story by writer/author 'marriedheat' is absolutely divine! Their love and compassion and lust for each other has lingered for many years, on the cusp of realty. The bubbling, blooming romance and lusting need for each other, has elegantly been put to sheets of paper, providing us a most worthy pleasure, all with an astonishing grace and perspective!

The writer has formed an astounding act of love and romance by this deeply devoted sibling duo, that has bells pealing throughout my libido. The characters are divinely talking only to me, as I imagine--vividly--being in the midst of their undying love and devotion.

This writer has a magnificent talent for writing the soul of each character that I've never encountered before!! An excellent top shelf, story of male and female lovers is extremely hard to find...rare in fact!! Writer 'marriedheat' has accomplished this difficult task with aplomb, emitting feelings of the character's passion and worship of and for each other.

I'm a huge admirer of honest love and romance incest stories of blood related incestuous male and female lovers! Very, very hard to find such reading fare, but also very difficult to forget the story and their character roles. Hell, there's "at least" another chapter to go, and I'm so pumped now I could hammer nails with my cock. I find it almost unbelievable this is the writer's maiden writing voyage of an awesome brother and sister--twins in this story--incest story!!

My advice to 'marriedheat': Never Stop Writing Incest Love/Romance Stories!!!!!

Great story, so far. The thought of laying on a motel room floor grosses me out.

"A Twin Desire Ch. 01:" - Twenty Year Old Twin Siblings, Brother Brian and Sister Barbara.

Rather than adding new remarks or comments, I'll double down on my comments of ten (10) months ago (today is Sunday, 30 July 2023). There are two (2) items I would make mention of now that I've reread the story with an enthralled libido and enlightenment of brother and sister twincest interest, and even more to the great attributes of writer 'marriedheat'.

First, there is no mention of pregnancy protection--or not. Second, since the writer did ask for reader's ideas and or/ suggestions...even though Chapter 02 was written some five (5) years ago, and that would be to sneak in the fact that the parents of Brian and Barbara are also brother and sister. What a shocker that would have been! Anyway my suggestion is several years too late.

Keep writing about the stuff that makes for great reader interest; accolades and faithful readers will surely follow, and that is incest-love, romance and respect, combinations that will not falter nor fail to grab reader's interest, gratitude and appreciation!

Overall it's a five star effort. There's a few rough spots, but those are generally balanced by the deep insight like Barbara's lamenting about losing half of her soul when she and her brother eventually get married to others and drift apart. That definitely struck a chord in me. I'm eager to read the next installment. 5/5

Started reading this series again. I still stand by my initial assessment. The following is one of those rough spots that needed a bit of adjustment:

"Even though Barb's hot bod gives me boners, I've never had any sexual fantasies about her."

Yeah, that's pretty much the same thing as adding two plus two and getting five for your answer. It just doesn't work out that way. 🌟 ⭐ 🌟 ⭐ 🌟 even so. 5/5